30 Days of Truth: Day EIGHT - Someone who has made my life hell or treated me like shit.
I am back. Sorry for the '30 Days' hiatus. Christmas, birthdays, 40 feet of snow in Alberta (only a slight exaggeration) and a hip injury take a lot out of a gal! (Disclaimer: Uh-oh, why does she need a disclaimer? Well, cause there are a few cuss words in this post, it is not for your kids to read and if you know me or anyone in this post, well.....just deal with it, I make no apologies for my truthiness!)
Day Eight is about someone who has made my life hell or treated me like shit. My initial thought was, really, I can only pick one? So, no, I did not just pick one, I thought I would make a list....it could be a long list... I do have, ahem, 39 years worth of shit to dredge up!!
So here it is, a list of the people and situations that I wish I had had the maturity, insight or ummm, balls to handle differently. If you are on this list, well, then I am super surprised that you are reading this blog! If you are not on the list, then aren't you glad to know that I keep these kinds of lists (insert evil laughter here)!
It is all People's Choice awards-show like, so feel free to comment on who you think the winner(s) should be!
And the nominees are:
1. The kid in grade six who thought it was all cool to punch a girl in the stomach. It is NOT and I kind of hope you are bald and living in your mother's basement now.
2. My mother's second husband. I really hope there is a special section of hell for drunk-ass motherfuckers like you who call 14 year old girls, and I quote, "two-bit whores" and who trash said 14 year old's bedroom in a booze-induced blackout! (That marriage lasted all of 14 months and we hightailed it outta there as soon as we could!)
3. The guy who told me I was 'pleasantly plump' right before we had relations (at far too young an age I might add). Do you know that at that very moment, you killed any ounce of self-esteem that I had left in me?
4. The bully/most popular/got away with EVERYTHING guy in high school who picked me up and threw me, not once, but twice into something hard and painful (a bus seat and bathroom door to be specific). You were a mean bastard and I kind of wish ill on you even though I know you are doing just fine Dr. Bully, DDS.
5. My first long-term boyfriend and supposed best friend. Thank you so much for sleeping with each other (on more than one occasion). That made me feel oh, so special. Fuckers.
6. My on again, off again, on again, off again, on again, off again, on again, off again, I thought you were my soul-mate, why did you hurt me so bad and so often, university boyfriend (who may just be reading this right now). You may not have made my life hell, but I just wish that I had had the self-awareness then to tell you that I deserved better.
7. The woman that I worked with who spread rumors that I was sleeping with the boss. NO, I was just BETTER than you bitch and you could not deal with that!
And...hmmm, I think that is it actually. (Oh, I could name a few more, but then I would just be getting petty.)
To be honest (and this all goes back again to Doc Brown in "Back to the Future" and messing with the space-time continuum), if all of these things had not happened to me, would I be where I am today? Would I be the strong, confident (I say with a smirk), 'I know where I have been and I know where I want to go', kind of person that I am? I really don't think so. I truly believe all things happen for a reason, even the crappy things.
So take your lumps folks, cause it is true...what does not kill us, makes us stronger. And smarter. And able to start a blog and tell the whole Internet about that time when you did a bad, bad thing....
I'm in recovery mode.
This is what I did to myself this week. In case you are saying "What the f... is that?" THAT is a dislocated prosthetic hip. I have two prosthetic (metal) hips. And in yoga the other night while coming out of the Half-Tortoise pose (extreme hip flexion), my right hip popped out of it's socket.I screamed.
VERY LOUDLY.
The ambulance was called. I could not move. I calmed myself down as much as possible so that the other 27 or so yogis could finish their class. The paramedics came in, put in an IV, gave me some morphine and picked me up (more yelling), yoga mat and all onto the stretcher.
It was my own fault. I was feeling a little 'off' during class and I knew that I should have just gone into savasana and skipped that pose. But, no, I had to push and well.... obviously I pushed too hard.
I was given a whole lot more morphine on the ride to the hospital and even more while they x-rayed me. And then I was given a big dose of the procedural anaesthetic propofol (yes, the same drug that was given to MJ) and five people (three holding me down and two reefing on my leg) popped my hip back into place. This was all reported to me by my husband who was in the room while this was done to me (it's OK-he is a physician).
I am in a full leg brace and on crutches. I am SORE. It feels like an elephant sat on my hip. I am going to take it easy for the next week or two and will hopefully be back to normal sooner rather than later. I may not be going to yoga for a bit, but I will return eventually.
And so if I am not blogging for the next little while, it is because, I need to take some time for me. I need to try to keep the kids occupied while we are cooped up in the house (I can't drive just yet) and I need to keep my energy focused on recovery and healing.
Thanks for your understanding.
Be back soon.
The Breastfeeding Witch Hunt-What the heck is going on??
Okay, I am throwing in my two cents.
How come, about every other day, I am reading about another mama who was told not to breastfeed her child somewhere, or Facebook has deemed in their infinite wisdom to remove yet another breastfeeding page supporting nursing moms.
I sometimes think that we in Canada are immune to some of this, that we are somewhat more of a tolerant and accepting society as a whole. (Sorry if that sounds a bit snooty.) But sadly, I am mistaken. Just this month alone we have had the incident in Montreal, where a mom was asked to leave a children's clothing store because she was breastfeeding her baby (and also buying items from them-talk about messed up customer service!!) And even in my own home town in our swanky new art gallery, a mom was asked to stop nursing her baby in a NO FOOD or DRINK zone. This story has a happy ending and the art gallery changed it's policy, but why such a policy existed in the first place is beyond me!??
Now on to Facebook. Does anyone else feel like there is some kind of breastfeeding witch hunt going on there? I mean look at the growing list of pages that have been removed (and then reinstated...and then removed....and then...well, you know).
- The Leaky Boob (twice removed and now reinstated)
- Earthy Motherhood
- Momzelle (A fellow Canadian mom-run business, removed and then reinstated in November 2010)
- and the countless personal pages and pictures that have been removed because of a breastfeeding photo or two.
It seems to me that someone really must be out there LOOKING for these pictures, as Facebook claims that they only remove these pages and pictures once they receive a complaint from users (see the January 2nd New York Times article on the subject).
So who is on this breastfeeding witch hunt? And why? Is someone really out there trying to undermine the breastfeeding moms of the world? That just seems so unlikely (I hope), so then again I am left confused and dismayed as to all the fuss about nursing our babies and (God forbid) taking a picture of these beautiful moments and posting it for others (mostly our friends or like-minded mamas) to see.
And my last thought on the Facebook matter (because they say it is the NIPPLE that is the issue)...
I am pretty darn sure that if a Mama is breastfeeding, then the Baby is ON the nipple and it is likely NOT showing and then your "a nipple is a nipple and we don't care what you are doing" policy is just a bunch of cow's manure!!
And there you have it folks, my two cents....for all it is worth.
BREASTFEED away Mamas-where ever and whenever!!
Parenting and the things that never occured to me.
I have had two winter babies, born in Northern Alberta. One was 4 lbs when we brought him home. If anyone had a reason to stay indoors for 4 months while the snow piled up outside, it was me. But I couldn't. We were in the midst of building our new house and our little bundle would come with me to visit the site, visit home stores, lighting stores, and you name it, my little man came with me. We had our Cuddly wrap and our ring sling and of course the carseat and it just did not occur to us NOT to bring him with us wherever we went.
I think a lot of my parenting decisions have been like that.....it just did not occur to me to do otherwise.
Take breastfeeding. Maybe it was because we knew we would be having a preemie and being on bed rest for two months, I did a lot of reading about the subject. Preemies NEED breastmilk. Not to sound all cliche, but it really is liquid gold. I pumped every 3 hours 24 hours a day for the two weeks he was in NICU and refused to let any of the nursing staff supplement my child with any kind of formula. And this was before I even really knew a whole lot about formula and formula companies. It just did not occur to me to do otherwise and maybe I was one of the lucky ones, but not one health care professional ever told me that I needed to supplement him with or speed up his weight gain with formula. Even when he was being tube fed, it was with my pumped colostrum and breast milk.
Was it easy? Hell NO! I could post a picture of just how big my boob was compared to his head, but I'll just let you imagine it (think cantaloupe VS orange). We had latch issues, my let-down was to much for him, he needed to nurse every 1.5 hours and the list goes on and on. But, we persevered and eventually had a beautiful 3 year nursing relationship. What happened during this time was that I learned a lot, about myself and about breastfeeding. And as the saying goes, "When you know better, you do better." I don't think I did all that bad with my first baby, but I can honestly say that with my 2nd, I have NEVER had any issues with breastfeeding.
Before she was born, I learned about baby-led latch, upright or postural breastfeeding positions and even more about the benefits of babywearing for our breastfeeding relationship. And I never knew it could be this good!! Honestly, I have never had a cracked nipple, a yeast infection or mastitis, or a baby who refuses to nurse. I fed my baby on demand, no schedule, no timers, and when and where ever she needed. It just never occurred to me to do otherwise.
Babywearing was the same thing. I knew how important kangaroo care was for my son and having his tiny little body sleeping or nursing or just hanging out on my body was a normal part of our days. Maybe I lucked out a bit ending up with a sling and wrap (as opposed to a Bjorn or Snugli), but we fell into babywearing relatively easily and have never looked back. I found having my babies on me more convenient than not and hardly used all of the other baby paraphernalia that we had purchased. (I can seriously count on one hand the amount of times we used our play yard thing). Babywearing was like that for me too, it never occurred to me to do otherwise.
The thing is, I could go on and on about a lot of these baby barriers that we face, things that we have been told will be too hard, take to much time, are way too complicated.... And the point of this post is this: Why, oh why, do so many moms struggle with this? Who are the people that feed all those fears?
I realize that this post is kind of a rant, but so be it. Mamas, here is what I want! I want you to TRUST yourself and your mothering instincts, do what YOU think is best and right for your child, and don't let all those people talking about what you should be doing or not doing get to you. Don't have regrets, just educate yourself, seek help and expertise where you can and then next time around, when you know better, you will do better and it will never occur to you to do otherwise!!
Natasha~