motherhood Natasha Chiam motherhood Natasha Chiam

mother

I asked the Mamas on my Facebook page and on Twitter to let me know in three words or less what "MOTHER" meant to them.

This is what they had to say...

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.

.

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Happy Mother's Day to all of the most amazing, wonderful, inspiring Mamas EVER!!

{YES, I am talking to YOU!}

Much Love,

Natasha~

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Mothers Before Me: Lessons for a New Life.

Welcome to The Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival! This post was written as part of The Breastfeeding Cafe's Carnival. For more info on the Breastfeeding Cafe, go to www.breastfeedingcafe.wordpress.com. For more info on the Carnival or if you want to participate, contact Claire at clindstrom2 {at} gmail {dot} com. Today's post is about how the mothers before you influenced your choice to breastfeed. Please read the other blogs in today's carnival listed below and check back for more posts July 18th through the 31st!

I know that I was breastfed as an infant. For all of six weeks. And then my mother had an acute case of appendicitis and had to have surgery and was told she could no longer nurse me. This was in 1972 and she was a 21-year-old new wife, new mom and a person who was not, nor has ever been one to question the wisdom of her doctors. And that was the end of our breastfeeding relationship.

She had three more children in quick succession after me and all three of them were breastfed for at least 6 months each, if not longer. We lived in the country, my dad was a ranch hand on a cattle farm and I guess if it was good enough for the cows and horses then it was good enough for the kids! And we were kind of dirt poor too and that formula stuff was more than we could realistically afford!

I mostly remember seeing my youngest brother nurse. I was four years old when he was born and I remember my mom always saying that Desmond was born on the breast and never left it! I also have a very clear image of my mother giving myself and my two younger brothers baths together and "squirting" us with her milk. Oh, don't make faces, it was a fun bath time game back then!

To be perfectly honest aside from my own mother, I don't remember seeing other mothers nursing while I was growing up. I was born in the early 70's and perhaps the big breastfeeding resurgence of the late 1970s and 1980s had not hit our local hospitals yet, or maybe the fiasco of formula marketing that Nestle and other formula manufacturers had unleashed on third world countries was not yet common knowledge. Whatever the case and reasons for it, breastfeeding was just not something that I saw a lot of, nor was it something that was talked about either.

I don't think that I thought much about breastfeeding or really started to notice whether or not people were indeed doing it until I was pregnant with my first child. It was a complicated pregnancy with a few months of bedrest and a guaranteed premature delivery and I had a lot of time to read about what I needed to do to ensure a healthy and strong baby. Breastfeeding was number ONE on that list!

Unfortunately, no amount of reading about breastfeeding can ever fully prepare you for the full experience itself. And I have to say that it wasn't until I met other committed breastfeeding mothers at my local La Leche League and SAW for myself how normal and wonderful and amazing of an experience it truly could be, that I fully appreciated how important it is for all women, of all ages, to SEE for themselves breastfeeding in action and know that it is a normal and incredibly awesome way to nurture and nourish a child.

Today the kids and I had lunch with a good friend, her 4-year-old daughter and her 8-week old little baby girl. As we were all getting ready to leave the baby woke up and started to get all fussy and was full on crying by the time we made it to our respective cars. My two and a half year old {nursling} daughter turned and said to me, "Mommy, Baby P is hungry and needs to nurse on her mommy's boobies."

'Nuff said.

My job is done.

Natasha~

"Be the change you want to see in the world."

~Mahatma Ghandi

Here are more posts by the Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival participants! Check back because more will be added throughout the day.

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happy things...

You know those days when you just need to escape? When all you can think about is getting away from the never-ending piles of laundry, the incessant whining, the fighting over whose sandwich is bigger (neither one EVER IS by the way!!), the toys that YOU end up cleaning up day after day and the general chaos of life? I had one of those days yesterday. And as soon as my husband came home I told him that I would be leaving after dinner for some ME time! He leaned over, gave me a kiss and said "OK Dear". It must have been written all over my face.

So escape I did, to the cavernous, anonymous, fabulous confines of West Edmonton Mall. Walking through the mall ALL BY MYSELF is a treat in and of itself and getting to go and browse nonchalantly in my favourite stores almost makes me giddy!

Yesterday I indulged in a few things that really do make me happy and I thought I would share them with you ('cause they may make you happy one day too!)

  • The Benefit Brow Bar at Murale. This concept is genius. No appointment necessary, professional esthetician, super clean environment, and you are in and out in under 20 minutes. And seriously, I don't know what it is, but having nicely shaped and clean eyebrows just feels GOOD.
  • And while at Murale, Jackie (the wonderful esthetician at the WEM location) introduced me to the new Benefit Cosmetics skincare line. I immediately fell in love with ALL of it. The packaging is lovely (yes, this matters!), the product line is free of parabens and sulphates and this refined finish facial polish is something every mama needs to feel all dewy and gorgeous (I used it this morning and am super impressed with how my skin feels and looks!!) The icing on the cake is that this stuff all smells absolutely divine and I ended up getting the toner and moisturizer too!
  • Anthropologie. Really Mamas, need I say more? Okay, I will. I love, love, LOVE this store. I feel like I can buy clothes there that are made to fit real women, do not make me feel like a wannabe pop star and are of a quality that I appreciate. I knew this top was for me the minute I saw it. It is my GREEN and well, green is a happy color for me!

Tuesdays are also happy days for me. My amazing babysitter comes first thing in the morning and I get to go for a grueling great workout with the fabulous Jessica at Infinite Fusion. We are doing a whole lot of Pilates Reformer workouts lately and let me tell you, these are some killer sessions! I highly recommend you try a class or a personal session and see for yourself.

Today was also a happy day for me because I received a shipment for Natural Urban Mamas and I am like a kid on Christmas morning when new product arrives!! In today's box were the wonderful Dolcino Woven Wraps and I am one happy, happy kid today!! I am so glad that I decided to bring in these baby carriers. They are 100% organic cotton, are at a decent price point for a woven wrap and they are the perfect wrap for beginners too, with different colored rails (sides) and tapered ends for easy tying. I rushed home with the box after I picked it up from the post office and immediately wrapped my 30 pound 2-year-old in one! And it is GREEN too!!

One more happy thing for me is a great latte and my all time favourite is the one that the girls make me at Cafe O'Play. This wonderful cafe and play place has become my very own 'Cheers' of motherhood. I am a regular and today I actually told Tava (awesome, sweet, barista extraordinaire) that I would have 'the usual' and by usual I meant the absolutely delicious Yummy Mummy latte. And now you can also have it as a blended latte for summertime. I like it so much, that I will even go to the cafe without the kids just to sit, sip and get a bit of work done too!

So there you have it. My happy places, happy things and my happy color. Please remember to take care of yourselves mamas and find your HAPPY on a regular basis. Remember the mantra....."Happy Mama, no More DRAMA!!"

Happily,

Natasha~

Be glad there's one place in the world Where everybody knows your name, And they're always glad you came; You want to go where people know, People are all the same; You want to go where everybody knows your name.

~Cheers Theme Song~

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Happy Mother's Day!!

It has been a busy Mother's Day weekend around here. But in a good way. I got to spend time with the most important mothers in my life. My mother, my sister and my mother-in-law. My sister and mom and I toured some local greenhouses on Saturday and we had my in-laws over for brunch today.

My family let me have a fabulous 3.5 hour nap today (which probably explains why I am up writing at 12:42 AM!!) we had a great family walk after dinner and Natural Urban Dad and I topped off the day by watching a really nice movie tonight (Love and Other Drugs-I'll have more to say about this film in a later post).  All in all, it was just the perfect weekend.

I do have more that I want to say on the whole "Mother's Day" thing, but for now, and because I really should get to bed, here are a few highlights from my weekend.

I hope you all had a wonderful day doing whatever it is that makes you happy!

Hugs,

Natasha~

P.S. This week-long hiatus from the blog is DONE! Did you miss me??

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The Fine Print

There is a lot about motherhood that no one tells you before you start this gig. Of course there is all the usual stuff. You'll never sleep, kids will poop and/or puke at the most inopportune times and life as you know it is never going to be the same. Just remember that you did sign up for this mommy thing!

For those of you who have been at this for a while you may have figured all of this out, but for anyone new to this, here are a few things that you may have missed in the fine print.

  • Set all your clocks 1/2 hour ahead of the actual time. Otherwise you will never again be on time for anything in your life (add 15 minutes per child).
  • Learn to love your body hair. Time for personal grooming (and even showering) may be very hard to come by!
  • Doors lose all of their function when you are a mother. Especially bathroom doors.
  • Be prepared to walk out of the grocery store and leave a full cart of food at some point in your toddler's life. AKA-The Mother of all Tantrums!
  • Poop comes in all the colors of the rainbow. Don't panic-think about what went in first!
  • If you spend 3 hours prepping and then cooking a great meal for your family, understand that A) NO ONE will acknowledge your efforts and B) invariably someone will refuse to eat it!
  • Breastfeeding is a fabulous way to lose weight, but understand that "those last 10 pounds" are not going to go until you STOP breastfeeding. So stop beating yourself up about it, understand this and for god's sake keep breastfeeding!
  • No matter how many times you and your spouse talk about it, he/she is just NEVER GOING TO UNDERSTAND what being a stay at home parent is like all day, everyday. Learn to accept this (both of you)!
  • Sex. Think of it as a grown-up play date and get it in the household schedule. And give it at least as much (preferably more) significance as the swimming lessons, art classes and all the mommy and me programs you have signed up for!
  • Know that we are all in this together. When you are having what you think is possibly THE worst day ever because the baby has reflux and has puked on your last clean anything and the toddler just flushed Batman AND Superman down the toilet, just remember that somewhere, some how, another mother is probably having an even worse day. If you happen to know this mama, Email, call, FB message or tweet her and let her know you GET it!
  • Deep breathes and counting to ten are essential MOTHERING SKILLS!

All in all it is a pretty darn good gig even with all of the above fine print. And for me at least, it is the moments like this that balance out all the crazies!!

I for one would not trade my life for anything else.

How about you?

Natasha~

P.S. Please feel free to add to the list of items in "The Fine Print"!

 

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30 Days of Truth: Day TEN - Someone I need to let go or wish I did not know.

I read an eye-opening post the other day and realized just a few lines into it that the writer and I have a mutual acquaintance. And unfortunately this is someone who I wish neither one of us knew. This person is NOT nice. She makes everyone she knows feel bad about themselves. And here is the thing-we ALL know her.  She comes by for visits when we are at our lowest lows, usually when what we need most is a hug and not her constant barrage of negativity.

She is that ugly voice in our head. The one that is always telling us that we are not good enough.

She has been to my house a fair amount these past few months as I have been dealing with a lot more than my usual share of stress and personal and physical upheaval, and she has had lots of oh, so lovely things to say to me.

You are a terrible mom. You need to do more with these kids. Of course they scream at each other, because you scream at them all the time. What are you doing eating MORE junk food. Get off the computer already and go spend some time with your husband.  Fold the freakin' laundry woman!

And the list goes on and on....

Her visits to me are all too frequent as of late and she really is a bitch.

I for one REALLY need to let her go. She drags me down and at times I can't help but listen to her and start to think she may be right.

I do know that she is not. Really I do.

So, I am going to try to shut her down and say goodbye to the bitch.

I know she will try to weasel her way into my head again, but I know the signs, I know how she operates and she will NOT be allowed in.

Yup, that is the plan.

I hope it works,

Natasha~

 

 

 

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The Breastfeeding Witch Hunt-What the heck is going on??

Okay, I am throwing in my two cents.

How come, about every other day, I am reading about another mama who was told not to breastfeed her child somewhere, or Facebook has deemed in their infinite wisdom to remove yet another breastfeeding page supporting nursing moms.

I sometimes think that we in Canada are immune to some of this, that we are somewhat more of a tolerant and accepting society as a whole.  (Sorry if that sounds a bit snooty.)  But sadly, I am mistaken.  Just this month alone we have had the incident in Montreal, where a mom was asked to leave a children's clothing store because she was breastfeeding her baby (and also buying items from them-talk about messed up customer service!!) And even in my own home town in our swanky new art gallery, a mom was asked to stop nursing her baby in a NO FOOD or DRINK zone.  This story has a happy ending and the art gallery changed it's policy, but why such a policy existed in the first place is beyond me!??

Now on to Facebook.  Does anyone else feel like there is some kind of breastfeeding witch hunt going on there?  I mean look at the growing list of pages that have been removed (and then reinstated...and then removed....and then...well, you know).

  • Earthy Motherhood
  • Momzelle (A fellow Canadian mom-run business, removed and then reinstated in November 2010)
  • and the countless personal pages and pictures that have been removed because of a breastfeeding photo or two.

It seems to me that someone really must be out there LOOKING for these pictures, as Facebook claims that they only remove these pages and pictures once they receive a complaint from users (see the January 2nd New York Times article on the subject).

So who is on this breastfeeding witch hunt?  And why?  Is someone really out there trying to undermine the breastfeeding moms of the world?  That just seems so unlikely (I hope), so then again I am left confused and dismayed as to all the fuss about nursing our babies and (God forbid) taking a picture of these beautiful moments and posting it for others (mostly our friends or like-minded mamas) to see.

And my last thought on the Facebook matter (because they say it is the NIPPLE that is the issue)...

I am pretty darn sure that if a Mama is breastfeeding, then the Baby is ON the nipple and it is likely NOT showing and then your "a nipple is a nipple and we don't care what you are doing" policy is just a bunch of cow's manure!!

And there you have it folks, my two cents....for all it is worth.

BREASTFEED away Mamas-where ever and whenever!!

Natasha~
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The three B's: Babywearing, Breastfeeding and this crazy thing called Baby-led latch!

Welcome to The Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival! This post was written as part of The Breastfeeding Cafe's Carnival. For more info on the Breastfeeding Cafe, go to www.breastfeedingcafe.wordpress.com. For more info on the Carnival or if you want to participate, contact Claire at clindstrom2 {at} gmail {dot} com. Today's post is about babywearing. Please read the other blogs in today's carnival listed below and check back for more posts July 18th through the 31st!

I am a babywearer.  BIG time!  I made a list of the different carriers that I have and it is at 18!  At this point I think you start calling it a collection!  I have worn my kids since day one of their little lives (OK, probably more like day 7 for my son, but that was because of all the wires and tubes in the way).  I love it so much I started a business with a major focus on babywearing and natural parenting. And as of this past weekend, I am a certified babywearing educator!!

Along with breastfeeding, I knew early on in my first pregnancy that I wanted to carry my baby in a baby carrier.  I also knew that that carrier was NOT going to be a Baby Bjorn or a Snugli.  I had one set of friends who were my babywearing parent models and they carried their kids in a ring sling--that is what I wanted.  I must have been about 6 months pregnant when I bought my first carrier-a beautiful green Heart to Heart padded ring sling.  Little did I know at the time how much that one purchase would forever change my life - as a mom, and as a woman!

When my son was in NICU, we learned a lot about Kangaroo care and how important skin-to-skin contact is for the health and well-being and development of these teeny weeny babies.  I needed something that would enable me to practice this skin-on-skin loving care with my son with ease--enter the Cuddly Wrap.  I was able to wrap him up in it while we were still in NICU, him in a diaper and me with just a bra on and it was great.

I could go on and on, and list off all of my fabulous carriers for you (oh, how I love my ergo, the moment I discovered the joy of doing a back carry with a woven wrap, my amazing traditional Mangobaby Mei Tai), but that would get boring (for you) and you can go back to last month's post to read more about that.

What I do want to talk about is the importance of babywearing when it comes to breastfeeding.  I think instinctively I knew a fair amount about the following information, but my course this past weekend has re-affirmed in me what I knew and gave me even more education and information on this topic.

I have never been one of those moms who adhered to the 'rules' of breastfeeding as depicted in so many new mommy books.  You know, the ones that tell you to breastfeed for 15-20 minutes on each side every 4 hours.  What??  For one thing--tell that to a preterm baby!  No, I am sorry, you still have another 2 hours before mommy can feed you again.  Heck--tell that to ANY baby and I am sure you are going to get an ear full (of screaming baby that is)!  I fed my babies when they needed it and I tried to look for their cues (mouthing, sucking, searching, cooing) before it got to the point of screaming,"HEY, you with the BOOBS--over here NOW!!"  With my daughter, I also learned about baby-led latch and we practiced this from day one.  I would simply put her upright on my chest and see which side she would instinctively lean to and that was the boob she would latch onto.  Sometimes she would nurse for a half an hour, sometimes 5 minutes, and somehow it was always enough. She gained weight well, was a happy baby and aside from some degree of spitting up and regurgitation (read-puking all over Mommy at least once a day) this technique worked for us.

Baby-led latch means just that, you let your baby decide which side he or she wants and you go with it.  This, in addition to baby nursing in a postural position, ie, upright on the body as opposed to laying on their sides in a cradle position helps baby's to biophysically normalize and also address's their need to be more on their stomachs to coordinate their suck, swallow, breath patterns.

So here is what happens in a lot of situations and for a lot of first time moms.  You read all your books, you get given a nice breastfeeding pillow as a shower gift and the public health nurse comes for a visit on day 2 to see you and baby and how you are doing.  All seems to be going well.  You nurse your baby for the required length of time per boob on your pretty minky pillow with his or her body laying down and likely with his head turned towards your breast.  And then you put him or her back down in her bassinet, swing, crib or whatever 'essential' piece of baby equipment you have purchased or where given.  By the time your baby is 3 weeks old you now are having problems nursing, you have cracked and or bleeding nipples and you can't figure out why?  (Be warned - the following statement MAY offend you!) If you look at this practice from a completely mammalian perspective, and humans are mammals, breastfeeding our babies and then putting them down or away from our bodies, basically tells the body that the baby has died.  And as a result, the amazing feedback loop that IS breastfeeding is interrupted and messed with every time this happens. Problems start to happen, moms get discouraged, health care professionals give them an easy fix (read-formula) and then it is not shocking that our breastfeeding rates in North America are so appallingly low.

This is were babywearing can be the difference between a mom who stops nursing because she thinks she has no milk, or it is too painful or it is just 'not working' and one who perseveres.  Wearing a baby for a significant part of the day can help significantly with the nursing relationship.  Mom and baby are skin on skin or very close to it, they are exchanging pheromones and hormones and their bodies are attuned to one another in ways that are almost magical.  This contact in and of itself with the help of a good baby carrier, can sometimes be all that is needed to get breastfeeding back on track.  And a reminder to all that safe positioning in any baby carrier applies no matter what you are doing and that includes breastfeeding.

I think babywearing is essential to mothering, just as much as breastfeeding.  That may be just me--but I kind of doubt it.  And if more people were made aware of the amazing and wonderful outcomes of babywearing in a proper baby carrier then I think we would see a whole lot more of both babywearing and breastfeeding in our modern day society.  This is my hope and my dream and if I help this along in any way than I am grateful for and proud of that.  I'll leave you today with a picture.....my little baby-led latcher!!

Here are more posts by the Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival participants! Check back because more will be added throughout the day.

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