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writer :: feminist :: mother

Bizarro World and a Foot Rub

Something weird happened last Sunday. And by weird I mean, like bizarro world, everything is backwards weird.

I worked the Mommylicious trade show in Edmonton on Sunday. I was on my feet from 9 Am until 4:30 PM fitting mamas and daddies with beautiful baby carriers and running the show's stroller check (check in your stroller and 'check out' a baby carrier while you shop). I also got to have some amazing sleepy 6-week-old snuggles with my friend's sweet baby girl who slept on me for about 2 hours! It was a great day.

And a long day.

Natural Urban Dad was home with the kids all day and I got a few texts from him as the day went on about what they were doing. Seems the kids were having a day of "let's not listen to Daddy and therefore not get to go to "Fish Mouth" with him." (Fish Mouth is what they call the undersea adventure area at West Edmonton Mall).

I know that he too was having a long day with the kids.

We all met for dinner at our favourite neighborhood sushi place after I was all done at the show, the kids behaved themselves rather well and then we headed home.

Once in the house, Natural Urban Dad proceeded to immersed himself into cleaning the kitchen.

All I wanted to do was sit down and put up my feet (which were totally KILLING ME) for five minutes and close my eyes after a long day, but no, the kids needed some mommy time.

And it was bath time and someone obviously wanted to be alone with the dishes.

And then it hit me!!

Like a weird bizarro world smack up side the head!

Natural Urban Dad was doing exactly what I usually do when he gets home.

I turn over the kids to him with an "I am DONE!" expression on my face and start cleaning up or cooking dinner.  And I fully admit that for the most part I don't even think about how long or hard his day has been.

So I sucked it up, bathed the kids, got them ready for bed, read them a story and tucked them in.

And then I sat on the couch and asked for a foot rub.

I don't know if I have a real point to this post, except to say that NO ONE EVER WINS in this. Men and women have always had and will continue to have the "you have no idea how hard I work all day" discussions no matter who is with the kids and who is on the job. For me, I guess this day just really emphasized this dynamic in what we do at our house and made me realize that I need to appreciate my partner and what his day is like just as much as I expect him to appreciate all that I do in and around the house and with the kids every day.

We made our choices as a family. I would be the stay at home parent and he would be the working one. A lot of couples make this choice. It is important to keep the gratitude in our lives and for each other and remember to not take one another for granted. Each of us has an important job to do for the well-being and success of this family.

This past weekend was my reminder of this. Did Natural Urban Dad see the same thing? Maybe he did.

'Cause it was one very long and very nice foot rub!!

 Natasha~