family, kids, motherhood Natasha Chiam family, kids, motherhood Natasha Chiam

Five Years

I am a five year old mother.

As in, five years ago, a beautiful baby boy was concieved of the love that Natural Urban Dad and I share, was born of my body and completely transformed my life. This is for him.

For all that you have taught me. About life, love, and laughter.

For all that you do that is sweet, loving, and kind.

For the lessons in patience, perseverance and the power of a hug.

For your independent spirit. Your love of LIFE. Your utter BOY-ness!

Thank you, Little Man.

You really have made me the Mama I am today.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ayRqFLjNcJI[/youtube]

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family, kids, Life Lessons Learned, marriage Natasha Chiam family, kids, Life Lessons Learned, marriage Natasha Chiam

legacy

I just spent the last 2 hours in a cramped 3-bed hospital room with my 82-year-old Godmother.

This is the woman my daughter is named after. The woman who was a best friend to my grandmother, a kind of surrogate mother for my own mother and the woman at whose home I have the fondest memories of my childhood.

She is a pretty amazing woman and I am so incredibly thankful that she has always been a part of my life.

Talking with her today, we covered the usual. How the kids and Natural Urban Dad are doing, how goes the progress on the new house, and the usual chit-chat. And then the conversation took a turn that it often does with her.

She is ready to die. She actually wants to die.

Seven years ago this December, the love of her life, the man she was married to for 60 years, the man who left her a love note tucked under her pillow every day, passed away.

She wants to be with him again.

A few months ago, she had a fall at her home and her son found her unconscious on the floor (he woke up suddenly at 3 AM and told his wife he had to go check on his mom). She told me that during those few hours that she was technically in a coma, that she was at peace. She was floating. She was on her way to see her love.

And then she woke up.

Today we also talked a lot about her life in Europe as a child, how her mom died suddenly at the age of 38 when she was only nine and of her life during and after the war. She showed me her engagement ring and told me the story of how my Godfather had to buy the gold on the black market and designed the bow-shaped ring himself. She told me of all the love notes and little presents that he would leave for her under her pillow, for no other reason than just because he loved her so much.

This is the stuff that great love stories are made of people!

And then we started talking about my grandmother. Helen (we never called her Grandma) was also an amazing woman. All 90 pounds of her.  My Godparents where the closest thing to family that she had and they know the most about her life. I only know tidbits. If I have one regret in this life it is that I did not spend more time with her and get her to tell me more about her life.

You see, I do not know who my grandfather is. Neither does my mother. Helen was a governess in the late 1940's for a rich family in the south of France. She fell in love with the married chauffeur and proceeded to get herself knocked up at the spinster-y age of 42. This is as much as I know. And as I found out today, this seems to be as much as anyone knows. I assume this situation was quite the scandal in those days and in 1952, two years after my mother was born my grandmother and my mother immigrated to Canada. Once here, I do know that there was a short marriage to another man, who died of a heart attack and then I think Helen just swore of off men forever.

What I found out today, is that my dear grandmother, this tiny woman whom I have held on such a pedestal my whole life, who expected so much from me, who was always so prim and proper, was actually quite the goof. My Godmother regaled me today with stories about Helen. I heard about her walking around nude all the time. Answering the door with nothing on and with nary a care in the world. We had quite the giggle today about her many naked antics.

Why am I going on and on about all of this?

Legacy.

That is why.

I still only have tidbits of my grandmother's life. I wish that she had journaled more, that she had written down her thoughts, her experiences, her perspective of being a single mother in the 1950's and 60's. I wish I could have known her more, understood her more and that I had more of her to remember.

My Godfather wrote his memoirs and his children had them bound into a hardcover book for him before he passed away. I asked my Godmother for a copy of that book today. It was all written in French, so it might take me a while to read it. But read it I will.

Sometimes I hear people make disparaging remarks about being a blogger. Oh, you are not a writer, you are just a blogger. And I realized something today. I am both. And I am neither.  I write not only for myself, but for future generations too.

And this is my legacy.

This blog is the way that MY grand children will know me when I am not around anymore. They will know the funny me, the sad me, the advocate me, the Mommy me and the rant-y me! They will be able to read about how their parents were born, read about how and why we did things "in the old days" and see their parents through my eyes (and my camera lens).

They will be able to see how we built our dream home, the home that their parents grew up in, the one that they will get to come to for sleep-overs and holidays and birthdays and anniversaries.

Maybe one day I or the kids will take this blog and make it into a book. Not necessarily for mass production, just for the family to have  a tangible connection to the woman I am/will be/was. So I will write. I will write for me, for my kids and for my grand kids. I will write for the women who came before me, for my mother and for my grandmother...

...and I will write  for my Godmother. May she soon find peace and her one true love waiting for her with open arms and an eternal love note.

Natasha~

 

 

 

 

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Bizarro World and a Foot Rub

Something weird happened last Sunday. And by weird I mean, like bizarro world, everything is backwards weird.

I worked the Mommylicious trade show in Edmonton on Sunday. I was on my feet from 9 Am until 4:30 PM fitting mamas and daddies with beautiful baby carriers and running the show's stroller check (check in your stroller and 'check out' a baby carrier while you shop). I also got to have some amazing sleepy 6-week-old snuggles with my friend's sweet baby girl who slept on me for about 2 hours! It was a great day.

And a long day.

Natural Urban Dad was home with the kids all day and I got a few texts from him as the day went on about what they were doing. Seems the kids were having a day of "let's not listen to Daddy and therefore not get to go to "Fish Mouth" with him." (Fish Mouth is what they call the undersea adventure area at West Edmonton Mall).

I know that he too was having a long day with the kids.

We all met for dinner at our favourite neighborhood sushi place after I was all done at the show, the kids behaved themselves rather well and then we headed home.

Once in the house, Natural Urban Dad proceeded to immersed himself into cleaning the kitchen.

All I wanted to do was sit down and put up my feet (which were totally KILLING ME) for five minutes and close my eyes after a long day, but no, the kids needed some mommy time.

And it was bath time and someone obviously wanted to be alone with the dishes.

And then it hit me!!

Like a weird bizarro world smack up side the head!

Natural Urban Dad was doing exactly what I usually do when he gets home.

I turn over the kids to him with an "I am DONE!" expression on my face and start cleaning up or cooking dinner.  And I fully admit that for the most part I don't even think about how long or hard his day has been.

So I sucked it up, bathed the kids, got them ready for bed, read them a story and tucked them in.

And then I sat on the couch and asked for a foot rub.

I don't know if I have a real point to this post, except to say that NO ONE EVER WINS in this. Men and women have always had and will continue to have the "you have no idea how hard I work all day" discussions no matter who is with the kids and who is on the job. For me, I guess this day just really emphasized this dynamic in what we do at our house and made me realize that I need to appreciate my partner and what his day is like just as much as I expect him to appreciate all that I do in and around the house and with the kids every day.

We made our choices as a family. I would be the stay at home parent and he would be the working one. A lot of couples make this choice. It is important to keep the gratitude in our lives and for each other and remember to not take one another for granted. Each of us has an important job to do for the well-being and success of this family.

This past weekend was my reminder of this. Did Natural Urban Dad see the same thing? Maybe he did.

'Cause it was one very long and very nice foot rub!!

 Natasha~

 

 

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It's decision time....

As you may know, the past few months have been a struggle for me.

Personally, I have been dealing with my yearly seasonal blues demons and just barely keeping them at bay. It is getting better though and I have my fabulous little family and some really great friends (new and old) to thank for that. And a healthy dose of Vitamin D every day seems to be helping too!

Professionally, it has been a struggle as well. Working as a solo entrepreneur is hard work.  Actually, it is VERY hard work. And doing so while also being the stay-at-home parent to two preschool-aged children makes it even harder. Somehow they NEED me more now then they ever have before (more on this later) and finding the time to focus on ALL of my babies is getting harder and harder.

Please understand that I love what I do.

I love being able to introduce parents to the incredible world of babywearing. I love helping anyone who asks about breastfeeding, natural birth, and the many aspects of 'green' parenting that I have garnered some knowledge of over the years. It makes my heart happy when I see the look of sheer relief and the physical relaxation of a mama's shoulders when she puts her baby in a proper, safe and beautiful baby carrier. And I seriously almost want to do a happy dance of joy when said baby is asleep in under 5 minutes of being in a new carrier.

I also love being able to find great products from both local and not-so-local mama-made and baby-inspired small businesses. It has always been part of my mission at Natural Urban Mamas to support local Canadian manufacturers and mainly mama-owned or family run smaller companies in North America and Europe. I have stayed true to this throughout the life of my business and I am so honoured to now call quite a few of these manufacturers and mamas some of my dearest friends.

I love the community of mamas that I have on the Natural Urban Mamas Facebook and Twitter pages. All 3800+ of you!! This is simply amazing to me! I appreciate your comments, feedback, funny posts, beautiful pictures and all the questions that you feel comfortable asking me. I love sharing wonderful and informative posts with you and introducing you to some of my favourite blogger friends, cool sites and general internet happy places!  I also love how you all share so freely with me and with each other when questions are asked. This to me is a true community. We may not always see things the same way, but sharing ideas and learning from each other makes us all better! Thank YOU!

So why the struggle?

Running a retail company on your own (and on the internet) is a 24 hours a day, 7 days a week kind of job. You are the CEO, COO, CFO, Marketing department, Sales force, Purchaser, Accounting/Book-keeping department, Shipper/Receiver, often the IT department and the SEO/Social Media/Communications department as well. There is always something that needs doing to keep the business running smoothly and often this involves an investment of time or money. It is exhausting and to be completely honest, most of the time I am running low of both time AND money!

Here's the thing. When my business partner and I went our separate ways in late 2009, for the sake of simplicity and to avoid the addition of more legal fees (and to keep things from getting ugly), I had to pay her out. I don't really want to get into all the ridiculous details of this transaction (because I will just get angry again), but essentially Natural Urban Mamas has not yet been able to climb out of the hole that this 'pay-out' created. And I don't see it doing so anytime soon. You know that old saying, "you need to spend money to make money", well, at this point, there is just not enough money to spend!

So at this point I am NOT loving the day-to-day running of Natural Urban Mamas, the business. And not just because of the financial factor. It is the time factor too.

Like I mentioned above, my children need me more now than they have before. Little C will be 5 years old in two weeks and he is more inquisitive than ever. He has questions that need well thought out answers!  LOTS of questions. Princess L is in the weird and wonderful transition phase from toddler to preschooler and is figuring out that she is not a baby anymore. There is a lot of independence and then very strong attachment going on at our house these days. I need to be there for my littles. It is not just my physical presence that they need, it is more of my mental and emotional presence too and I don't want to deny them any of this. Unfortunately, because I squeeze in work hours when and where I can throughout the day, I feel like I am doing just that.

And it is not just the kids, my husband needs me too.

We both knew that this year was going to be a tough one for us. Financing and building a new house can be rough on any relationship. And although yes, this is our third time doing it, I fully admit that it seems way harder this time around. I think we are both feeling a lot of pressure to really GET IT RIGHT with this house and have a lot of our heart and soul and hopes and dreams wrapped up in this little construction project. And a lot of the decisions about the house come down to me. I am the one visiting the site almost every day to ensure that our dream is taking shape as we planned. I am the one talking to the trades people (I am there so often, that the guys have all started calling me Nat, it's my site nickname). I am the one trying to keep us all on budget. So you see, I have yet another job to add to the list -- unofficial Construction Site Supervisor!

You can imagine that with all of this going on - the store, the kids, and the house - Natural Urban Dad and I don't get a whole heck of a lot of alone time together. And we NEED it! All marriages need this. For us we especially need our time together because of all that is going on! Even if it is just an hour a week at Starbucks or a walk through the mall holding hands, we need that time to reconnect and know that WE matter as a team, a couple and yes, as lovers too! (oh, he is so going to love that!) We are the foundation that all else is built on and we have to keep that foundation strong.

Over the past few weeks, it has become glaringly apparent to me that certain things in my life need to change. I need to change. I am no longer completely happy with the path I am on and I need to find a new way, a better way to keep living my purpose and my passion without losing my mind! This week I sought the advice of a fellow entrepreneur I recently met IRL and for whom I have always had mad respect for... and then she posted THIS! I swear to God, it was like she jumped into my head and then wrote her post. And I can't thank her enough. (Big Super Hugs for Alex from @Clippo!!)

And so here is what is going to happen now. I am taking a page from Alex's book.

Natural Urban Mamas, the store,  will be closed from December 12, 2011 until January 31, 2012. 

During this time I will be figuring out what is best for me and my family and also for Natural Urban Mamas. I will continue to write on the blog (I have a couple of carrier reviews coming up and some step-by-step carrier instructional posts too) and also keep the Facebook page current. I will be available for babywearing or baby carrier advice via Facebook or Twitter, but will not be running any babywearing workshops during December or January.

I appreciate your patience and understanding and your continued support while I work through this challenge and transition in my life and my business.

Thank you,

Natasha~

 

 

 

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feeding the soul

We shopped for the food. 5 Kg of ground turkey.

3000 grams of pasta.

300 ounces of Marinara sauce.

LOTS of fruit and veggies.

Too much oregano (I am SO not good at conversions).

And garlic, lots and lots of garlic.

We gathered at The House in the big red kitchen and unloaded all our bags.

And for a few minutes we looked at everything piled on the big centre island and then at each other and almost panicked!

Feeding 30 families for the Home for Dinner program at the Ronald McDonald House™ of Northern Alberta is no small task! And yet, this is what three of the businesses from the Local4Local4Local program did this past Tuesday.

We may not have seemed a likely team, but we all had our roles and we worked well together. Kristi Larson from Bellies Maternity was in charge of the fruits and veggie trays. Maurice Tellier from The Koch Ford Lincoln group was our 'muscle' and also our amazing onion chopper and meatball roller. And I was in charge of the general timing of all the ingredients and dishes and the sauce and yes, I was the bossy one.

We arrived at the house just before 3 PM. I had also managed to convince my nanny, the fabulous Maria Sellis from Cupcake Addiction, to come as well and that meant she had double duty keeping an eye on my kids and helping out in the kitchen. If I have not mentioned this before..SHE IS AMAZING!! (And NO, you can not have her!)

If you have never been to the Ronald McDonald House in Edmonton (or your own city), then I encourage you to call and book a tour. They really are amazing establishments and provide what sick kids need the most - their families. The Stollery Children's Hospital in Edmonton is a leader in heart surgery for kids and three of the families we met Tuesday night had a child recovering from heart surgery or one who was waiting for their surgery date. Being able to stay in the house gives these families a home away from home, a chance to stay close to their kids and to keep their families together during these hard times.

As you walk through the huge common dining room, complete with a train-themed table for the kids and two big play areas, you hear conversations about g-tubes and pic lines. You see four-year olds, in cute red and purple slippers, walking around with their IV poles getting 'fed' through the aforementioned tube. You see whole families of siblings gathering around a table for a snack while Mom holds their 4 month old sleeping baby brother, the one who just had open-heart surgery.

I wanted to sit and talk to more of the families and hear their stories, but we had a job to do. We were there to feed these moms and dads and brothers and sisters. And so we worked. Kristi chopped and arranged. Maurice and Maria chopped and rolled. I stirred and mixed and cooked. And somehow, we managed to get into a good kitchen groove. We had the sauce simmering on one stove top, the pasta cooking on the other and rotating trays of turkey meatballs baking in both ovens.

And amidst all of this, my amazing children played. They played with each other and with the kids of the house. They played like there was nothing 'wrong' with anyone. Little C found himself an adorable little guy to play with and they were inseparable all night long. Princess L found a doll stroller and another little girl and they played house for a bit. She is still getting used to playing with other kids besides her brother and would come and hang out in the kitchen with us for a while and then head back to the play area for more fun with Little C and his buddy.

By 5:40 PM, our meal was almost ready. We made Spicy Turkey Meatballs in Marinara Sauce over linguine (thanks to Allium Foodworks for this yummy recipe), veggies with tzatziki dip and fruit and yogurt for dessert.  The front office made an All-Call to the residents of the house and they started to come down for dinner. One of my biggest fears going into this night was that we would not have enough food for everyone. We had PLENTY of food! The families that were home enjoyed the meal and thanked us for coming and cooking for them. Seeing everyone gathered at the tables in the common dining room and eating our dinner was great. Natural Urban Dad arrived about then and we all sat down and had dinner as a family with the house families. And when everyone was done we packed up all the leftovers and put them in the fridge for all the families that were still at the hospital to enjoy later when they made it back to the house.

The whole experience at the house was amazing for me, and I suspect for Kristi, Maurice and Maria as well. It may be just one meal, but it was one meal that these parents didn't have to worry about. One meal that nourished their bodies, so that they can keep going and stay strong for their babies. It was one night out of our lives to go and do good for others. One night to show my kids what it means to give freely of ourselves and to serve those in need.

I have to thank Kristi Hammond for creating the Local4Local4Local group and providing this opportunity for local businesses to come together to do such a good thing for the residents of our local Ronald McDonald House™. I also would like to give a shout out to our local food suppliers, Serben Free Range, The Italian Centre and Kuhlmann's Market Gardens.

I am looking forward to my next Home for Dinner night at the House and I encourage anyone interested to check out the program, grab a bunch of friends, your favourite recipe and head on over for a great night of cooking, camaraderie and good karma!

Natasha~

 

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family, motherhood Natasha Chiam family, motherhood Natasha Chiam

three years and almost three thousand miles

I wrote this post last Friday night while in Toronto at the Blissdom Canada 2011 Writing and Business Conference. I was having some technical difficulties at the time (darn hotel Wi-fi) and was not able to publish until today.

Friday, October 14, 2011

Today my little girl is three years old.

And I am 2, 706 kilometers away from her.

It's not a big deal really...

We celebrated her birthday last weekend with family and friends and I am in Toronto at my very first big blogging conference having a wonderful time.

But still, I have been thinking about her all day....

I have been thinking about my labour and delivery, how different it was from my first time with Little C. Having a full-term, one week overdue baby is a much different experience than being induced at 35 weeks and having a teeny preemie baby. I was in control of most of my labouring with L and had to consciously push through those moments of self-doubt and pain and panic and trust my body, rely on my amazing doula team and lean on the ever-present shoulder of Natural Urban Dad.

I remember the moment that I was finally allowed to push and how it felt like 5 minutes, but was really more like 30. I remember feeling that final release and her entrance into this world and not hearing her right away....and then that tiny little voice crying and letting me know that she had arrived. I remember Natural Urban Dad telling me that she was a GIRL and my utter and complete shock at hearing this.

I remember holding her for the first time and unwrapping her from all the swaddling and letting her find and latch onto my breast. I cried at that moment...I was so proud of both of us.

I remember not wanting to let her out of my sight for a minute and refusing most of the usual 'ministrations' that the nursing staff wanted to do with her. (And I remember how respectful they were of all my wishes and was so grateful for that too.)

I remember getting settled into our room at the Royal Alexandra Hospital and taking her out of the bassinet and sleeping with her next to me all night. Okay, she slept and nursed... and slept and nursed some more and I just stared at her beautiful chubby cheeks for 6 hours straight.

I remember getting her dressed the next morning and anxiously awaiting our pediatrician to give us the green light to go home. We went home exactly 12 hours after she was born.

I remember Little C meeting her for the first time and how gentle and inquisitive he was. And how when I nursed her, he wanted in on the action too and what an incredibly amazing moment it was the first time I tandem nursed my two babies.

I look at my daughter now and I see me. A little dark-haired, hazel brown eyes me, but me nonetheless.

And in seeing myself in her face and her little quirks and expressions, I can't help but hope that she will be better than me.

Better at loving herself and seeing herself as the amazing person that she is.

Better at knowing her mind, trusting her instincts, and never letting anyone take these things away from her.

And I hope that she will always know how much she is loved, admired and respected by me.

I do not see her fulfilling any of my dreams or aspirations...

...I see her soaring in a world that she makes for herself, one in which a strong, beautiful and likely very feisty girl is celebrated and has a world of possibilities before her.

I love you my girl.

Happy Birthday.

Love,

Mommy~

P.S. Tonight at Blissdom Canada we had the opportunity to watch an amazing documentary called MissRepesentation, a film about the misrepresentation of women and girls by the media and the subsequent underrepresentation of women in positions of power and influence.

It is a powerful and very thought and emotion provoking film. It made me step back and think about the world my daughter, and my son, are growing up in. How the choices of what we watch on TV, the magazines we read and the films we see affect our views of people (especially women and girls) and the world around us!

I have just taken the Represent Pledge and I highly encourage you to see the film and take it too!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6gkIiV6konY[/youtube]

 

 

 

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FAST Running!!!

Is what my daughter calls it when she really starts to motor in her new "running" shoes.

It is also what is happening in my brain tonight. So many thoughts and ideas and plans and goals and....well, they are all there and RUNNING very fast through my mind.

So I leave you with this....

...while I catch up with all these crazy, awesome thoughts and ideas FAST RUNNING through my brain!

'Til tomorrow folks,

Natasha~

~~~~~~~~~~

Summer Blog Challenge posts for August 29, 2011

 

 

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babywearing, family, Life Lessons Learned, motherhood Natasha Chiam babywearing, family, Life Lessons Learned, motherhood Natasha Chiam

In the moment...

I was about to crap out on a post for tonight!!

You all know it has been a rough week for me (see yesterday's post)!

But, NO, I can't do that to you (and also I hate that Liam YELLS at me in his SBC update posts if I skip a day!!)

Instead I thought I would take a page from a fellow Summer Blog Challenge participant and post about the things that have really made me happy these past few weeks.

One-on-one time with my little girl.

It is not often that I get to have one-on-one time with my kids. We try to have Mommy days and Daddy days with each of them separately, but more often than not they don't want to do anything without each other (they really are that close). So with Little C in Sportball Camp for another week, the Princess and I had some time to just hang out and do whatever we wanted....just us girls!

We hit the playground one day and she was so much more adventurous on her own. Climbing and sliding and spinning on all the different structures. She even made a little friend! And then she spotted the BIG swing and that is where we spent the next half hour! We had fun, she had me all to herself and I got to focus on just one kid for a few hours and I think we both needed that!

Pretty vintage things for me

I was on Facebook one night and saw these beauties and HAD to have them!

A) Because I am a sucker for anything blue and green **Tangent: My British Grandmother used to always tell us that "blue and green shall never be seen, unless there is a monkey in between". I still don't know what that means?  

And B) My hands get cold, especially when I am typing, so they seemed like a perfect solution.

And C) They are locally made and the fabric and the buttons are vintage--do I have to say more?

The two most important dudes in my life.

Natural Urban Dad and Little C really are two of a kind. They look alike, they have the same mannerisms, they have the same crazy obsession with cleanliness (not complaining) and they are my world! There is nothing that makes my heart swell more than seeing them together and how much they love each other. Oh, and the Ferris Wheel idea--totally Little C's! Seems he is a little thrill seeker and on that one note he is VERY different than Natural Urban Dad!

My new Duvet Cover.

Yes. I am very serious. I have been wanting a new duvet cover for months and just haven't found the right one. So I hit up HomeSense once more this past week and buried underneath all the other plain, boring duvet covers, I finally found the ONE!  Now the kicker with this is that I did not inform Natural Urban Dad of my plans, mainly because I knew that he would probably kybosh the whole idea and then we would be stuck with a BIG GIANT CHICKEN at the door kind of mess! So I bought the duvet, washed it and got in on the bed before he got home and had a chance to tell me to take it back! Doesn't it look purdy? And bonus, it makes me want to actually make my bed every morning! (Which is slight consolation for Mr. Tidy Pants!)

Matching my outfit to my baby carrier.

It is true, I do like to match what I am wearing to who I am wearing and this day it worked out perfectly. The kids and I took the dog for a walk and Princess L decided she really needed to go on mama's back. It was the perfect opportunity to use of new "Magic Wrap" Woven from Cosy Baby Happy Mommy. And it matched my hat perfectly!! I promise a more in-depth review and post about this incredible wrap very soon. I want to get some more miles out of it and break it in a bit more before I give the final verdict (which so far is quite awesome!!).

**And PS: The hat the The Princess is wearing is a Woodland Rogue Hat available here.

Summer Days spent with Best friends

Today the kids and I spent the day at the Legislature Grounds with our best friends. We packed a picnic, spread out our blankets and splashed and played in the fountains and wading pools. It really is amazing that my bestie and I have been friends for over 20 years now. We have been through all of the major milestones and events in our grown-up lives together and are about to hit another big one (hint: it's a major birthday). Our kids are growing up together too and nothing makes you step back and take stock of your life and how fast is whizzes by like the realization that our babies are really NOT babies anymore. Today was a great day for us, for ME. It was a day where I felt very Zen. Like all the troubles of this past week could not affect me. I was in a happy place, with my happy people and that was all that mattered.

Today I lived in the moment and it was wonderful!

And now I am going to go to bed!

Natasha~

~~~~~~~~~~

Summer Blog Challenge Posts for August 26th, 2011

 

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