Operation Hermit
I saw this meme on Facebook the other day and thought about how perfect it was for how I am feeling lately.
I may not be hermiting (yes, I made it a verb) in the truest sense of the word, as I can't seem to stay away from the mall and/or Anthropologie when it is "Extra 25% off" day, but I am spending a lot of my time by myself, with myself and on myself. Or with my family or my dog.
Most people who meet me think that I am an extrovert. The life of the party, the loud, obnoxious one, the social butterfly. I am not going to lie, I love a room full of people. Conversations buzzing, laughter erupting, everyone connecting and sharing and coming together. That kind of energy is wonderful and contagious and I get caught up in it and I usually come down with an acute case of extrovertedness at these times. Promises of "we should do this more often" are made and "let's go for coffee" is said more times than I can count. And then I go home, take some Advil, have a good rest and after a few days of social media love bombs back and forth to everyone, am fully recovered from said attack. I return to my hermit cave (real or virtual) and retreat into myself and my little life and I feel safe. I feel unencumbered, happy to just be folding laundry or reading a book or playing Candy Crush, or doing all the mundane little things that make up my daily life.
My first assignment for the Year or Writing course that I am taking was to write down 20 ideas. It's harder than it sounds, trust me! One of my ideas for an essay or post or poem or something, was this statement:
Alone is freeing.
Maybe it is because I am a mom and being truly alone is often times a luxury. Maybe it is because I come from a family of four kids and I didn't grow up knowing a lot of alone time. And maybe alone is a way to not have to deal with a lot of the often nasty, mean, and bewildering world around me. Whatever the reason, I find being alone, with my thoughts, or with no thoughts, a very peaceful, soul {re}filling, calming way to be. When I am alone, I feel free. Free to figure out what going on in my head and in my heart and free of all the things in life that sometimes weigh me down.
My favourite moment in my days right now is right after I drop the kids off at school. I then head to the dog park with Willow and at that time of day, we are often the first ones there. It is an especially peaceful place right now, in the middle of winter; white and grey, somewhat bleak, not a soul in sight and all I hear is the crunching of my boots on the trail, the running of four legs zipping by me at top speed, and the intermittent knock-knock-knocking of the local woodpecker trying to find his breakfast. I find myself breathing deeper, walking taller and appreciating this space and time away from everything and everyone more and more every day. I like to think of it as my daily moment of meditation. Me, Mother Nature and my puppy, all together in that moment and yet all alone.
It's not that I don't want to see my friends or be around people. Quite the opposite really, I love being around people. I just like being around people and pretending that I am doing so enclosed in some kind of bubble. I can see and hear everyone around me, but I don't necessarily have to interact with anyone. I can immerse myself in my book or my laptop or in eavesdropping on strangers conversations, while still feeling like I am part of the world. I do this bubble thing a lot. I think it is probably a bit of a coping mechanism. I can truly enjoy a trip to a busy mall or to Costco or the grocery store with two kids in tow, because I enclose all of us in the bubble and continue on like no one else is around and we have the place all to ourselves. I liken this bubble strategy to that scene in a movie when a couple falls in love or has a big dance/kissing scene and everything and everyone else just fades away and the music swells and nothing else matters. If you ever see me out and about and I am in "the bubble", I probably won't see you until you come up really close and actually pop it. I will then be a bit disoriented and likely forget your name and say something particularly stupid and incoherent and then walk away from you while you try to figure out why I am being such a bitch? It's not you, I promise, it's just me readjusting to the sudden shift in air pressure outside of my hermit-bubble. It takes a few minutes... Expect a text later with an apology for my flightiness.
Last week I had lunch with a friend that I haven't seen in a long time. It was nice. She is a really wonderful woman, someone I admire and a truly gifted artist. It's sometimes funny how life works. People come into your life when you need them the most and I didn't know it at the time, but I really needed to spend some time with this person. I feel like she gets me on a different level than my other (younger) friends. We talked about this "hermit-ness" that both of us sometimes do and decided that we needed to have a club for all of us "Closet Introverts". After lunch, as I thought about this a bit more, I realized the irony of this plan.
Here's the thing. I know who my friends are. I know that no one is sitting around saying, "Damn, that Natasha is sure being a bitch for not calling me or making an effort lately!". I know that if anyone IS thinking that, then they are likely not really my friend. My friends know that I need to be a hermit now and then in order to get my brain to work properly. My friends know that a true connection is not based on the amount of hours spent together. Like anything really meaningful in life, I firmly believe that friendship is a quality versus quantity thing.
So you know what Internet Meme, NO, I am NOT being a bad friend lately, I am being a really GOOD friend to myself. I am giving myself what I need to live a wholehearted life and what I need right now is to be a really AWESOME hermit! And I thank every one of my true friends for letting me do that and for never judging me for it.
In gratitude,
natasha~
P.S. (Update) Look what I found tonight! I do love that Audrey Hepburn gal.
let it go
I feel like a 10 year old girl signing the song from the movie Frozen over and over in my head.
"Let it go, Let it go! Can't hold it back anymore..."
It's true, I am pushing myself this year. I am going to find my stories. I am going to let them go, I am going to let them OUT. I am going to let them flow onto the page/screen/notebook/sketchpad in any way they want. I am letting go of the {self-imposed} rules that say I can only write about certain things or from one perspective and that I am not a true artist.
"I don't care,
what their going to say..."
I have taken steps to unleash this power within myself and no, I am not building ice castles on the top of mountains. But then again, maybe I am? Maybe my castle is a manifesto, a poem, a novel, a children's book, a watercolour painting... something just waiting to be released from the storm inside my head.
"It's time to see what I can do, to test the limits and break thru,
No right, no wrong, no rules for me.
I'm Free."
I don't feel any fear right now. I know a lot of people who are taking these steps with me are afraid. Afraid that their writing is crap, that they won't be able to live a wholehearted life, that they are not {insert whatever it is you think you are not enough of here} enough.
Maybe it's because Idina Menzel has been singing in my ears for the last 15 minutes straight, maybe I am just done with being scared and feeling little, and maybe its just time to really just let it all go.
Let go of other's expectations of me, let go of what I think others expect of me...
I know it is time to let go of my fears,
of constant comparison to others,
of feelings of jealousy,
of trying to be something or someone I am not,
of feeling inadequate in my own head and heart and body.
I am enough. Heck, I am MORE than enough. I am ME and I have things to say, words to write, a whole-hearted life to live.
You can come with me on this journey if you would like. You may not like parts of this journey and you may LOVE other parts too. I suspect I'll feel the same way. I am also packing light for this one. All baggage is either being left behind or being put down on the page.
I am not looking to write the perfect book or poem or essay or to paint the perfect watercolour painting. I am looking to unleash the creative me that is pounding away inside of me, screaming to be let OUT! The one that keeps being pushed back by that voice {you know the one} that tells me I am no good at this.
It really is time to slam the door on that voice and listen to another one. Tonight, Idina/Elsa is working for me. This is gonna be one AMAZING mountain top ice castle!
"Let it go, let it go, that perfect girl is gone.
Here I stand, in the light of day,
Let the storm rage on.
The cold never bothered me anyway."
[youtube]http://youtu.be/iEKLFS-aKcw[/youtube]
<3,
N~
One month later....
December was a weird month for me. I had days of feeling complete and utter joy, followed by days of WHAT the HELL is going on?
The internet and the things that I concern myself while on it were making me feel... essentially, NOT good.
So I took a bit of a break. It wasn't really an intentional one, but in the end, it was one that I needed.
I have a lot more to say about all of it and what 2014 holds for me, but it's midnight and I'd like to get to bed.
I'll leave you with the beginnings of one of the projects I am participating in...
The #365feministselfie challenge! Veronica at Viva La Feminista came up with this brilliant idea and she has inspired women all over the world to take up the challenge. Won't you join us?
I am posting my daily selfies primarily to my Instagram account, but will do a weekly or monthly update here too.
Here I am this past week. Filters, no filters, waking up 42, folding laundry, making out with my fake chef boyfriend, "cleaning" my desk and intensely embracing my soccer-mom role, oh, and yes, the one with me in my 'kicky' new apron too. This is not your mama's feminism folks!
Goodnight my lovelies,
natasha~
Feminist Fare Friday: Edition #14
"You can't be what you can't see."~Miriam Wright Edelman
Last night I attended my first TEDx event called Landscape-Changing Women. It was organized by two ambitious women in Edmonton and was by all accounts a huge success. The highlight of the night for me was hearing and seeing my friend Joanne Minaker up on the stage talking about the importance of Care in our society-she was (and is) brilliant!. From December 4-6 the TEDWomen2013 conference is taking place in San Francisco and more than 58 countries are also joining in with independent TEDxWomen events of their own.
I said in my last post that the landscape is changing and that our time is coming for a more effective feminist revolution. I don't believe that I am wrong, and I am inspired by all the TEDWomen events happening around the world this week, but as you can see from the examples below, we have A LOT more work to do.
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1. Emilie Graslie is smart. Not a smart girl, not smart for a girl. She is just really, really, smart. And she has a great educational Youtube channel called "The Brain Scoop". On it she talks about all kinds of cool, interesting and amazing topics that she comes across through her work at The Field Museum in Chicago. Emilie also reads all of the comments on her Youtube page and has a few things to say about that too...
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRNt7ZLY0Kc&feature=share&list=UUkyfHZ6bY2TjqbJhiH8Y2QQ&index=1[/youtube]
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2. And while we are on the topic of women in media, the people at The Representation Project put together this video showing us where the media got it right and where they got it so, so wrong time and again this past year.
[youtube]http://youtu.be/NswJ4kO9uHc[/youtube]
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3. We all need to use some stock photography now and then (or you should be using and paying for it, stealing other people's photos is not good). I personally like istockphoto. The folks at NY Mag put together this somewhat hilarious slideshow of stock photos all meant to show us "how to be a feminist". Once again this serves to further prove the point about how women are misrepresented in all kinds of media. And clearly, I don't have enough boxing gloves, ladders, folders or X-rays in my feminist get-up!
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4. Take 5 minutes to watch this. And then know that literally 100% of the images of women that you see in advertising and in most magazines are altered. There is absolutely NO possible way for any human woman to "look just like {insert ideal perfect woman here}".
[youtube]http://youtu.be/jWKXit_3rpQ[/youtube]
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5. We are taking our kids and their cousins to see "Frozen" after school gets out for winter break. I am not sure who is more excited about this, me or them?! From what I have read about the movie so far, and from what the majority of my friends have said about it, it is a FANTASTIC movie! According to Amanda Rodriguez at Bitch Flicks, it is also Disney's first foray into feminism! AND, slight spoiler alert, it passes the Bechdel Test in the first five minutes of the film. I'll save my full review for after I actually see the movie, but YAY! for Disney (of all media outlets, really) for finally starting to get with the program!
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Have you read or watched something that you think I should include in an upcoming edition of Feminist Fare Friday? Send me the link via Twitter or on the Stay at Home Feminist Facebook page.
Have a wonderful weekend everyone!
natasha~
Michelle Obama, Katniss Everdeen and Me: Our choices & our agency.
I am an almost 42 year old woman. I have a Bachelor's degree in Medical Laboratory Sciences. I have worked in a blood bank, a microbiology lab, a transplant research lab and had a very successful career working for a billion dollar pharmaceutical company. Now, at the pinnacle of my life, I have been married for 10 years, I am a mother to two beautiful children and I left my career almost 7 years ago to care for them and manage our family household.
For a lot of the world, I am the prime example of the opt-out/lean-out woman. For some I am a 'bad' feminist because I am not using my education and contributing my talents to the greater society and earning a living and that I have taken two steps back for womankind, because I am not fighting my way up to and through the glass ceilings of the world.
Recently, Michelle Obama was called a "feminist nightmare" for making decisions in her life very similar to mine; for choosing her 'Mom-in Chief" role over her ivy-league credentials and career success. She has been criticized by some for not living up to their image of the ideal, high-profile feminist role model for women everywhere. And as one critic put it:
The "kind of thing" being referred to, is of course, being a mother. One who worries about what her kids (and what the nation's kids) are eating, one who is concerned with her children (and the nation's children) finishing high school and getting a higher education. You would think from these arguments that these are the kinds of things that only mothers do. That mothers are the only ones concerned about the state of our childrens health and education. That if you are indeed a brilliantly educated and well-connected woman than it is your duty to don your "power-suit" and lean all the way IN, get that big corner office and be in the 'game' with all the big players (read: men) and leave all of those "other" kinds of things for who exactly? All those less educated, less connected grown women?
This is where I think feminism actually starts to confuse people and why it may seem alienating to some as well.
A common theme that I read over and over lately, is how women are damned if we do and damned if we don't in practically all things. If we have children and work - neglect. If we have children and don't work - privileged. If we don't have children - selfish. If we have TOO many children - even more selfish. If we cover up our bodies - fat shamed. If we are naked - slutty. If we are passionate about something - too emotional. If we are not touchy-feely enough - bitch. I could go on and on...
The problem as I see it is that women are indeed damned in this world, because it is a world that was not made for us to succeed in. We are fighting for something that doesn't exist in our past or present society, a world where all humans are equal, where women are not seen as "other". And because this doesn't exist, because no where in our history do we see women valued as equals, we assume that equality means being like the dominant power holders, ie, the men. Regardless of the immense progress that has been made by women towards the goal of equality, our current world is still one of inequality and in our quest to reach our goal, sacrifices are made. Choices must be made by women within a framework that is not of our making and thus judgment ensues.
As I was hashing all of these thoughts out in my brain, the closest, most pop-culture-y analogy that I could think of was The Hunger Games. No, really, just stay with me here....
Think of Katniss and all of the people of Panem outside of the Capitol as women and the Capitol (political and financial power holders) as men. The Hunger Games are a metaphor for The Great Equality Playing Field. Women are all Tributes and placed in an arena that men have built and are forced to make choices that they would otherwise NOT make in order to survive in that arena and win the game. The players have to take down all other tributes on their way to the winners circle. They have to be ruthless. They have to be angry. They have to KILL. The only option for any of the tributes to become more than just a starving citizen of Panem is to win the Hunger Games and even when they do win, they are still living, albeit more lavishly, by the good graces and according the the dictates of the people of the Capitol.
When we take a look at our world and believe that the only way for women to be equal to men is by emulating them, then we are nothing more than tributes fighting in a game that was not created to have more than one kind of winner. There is no winning of the Feminism/Hunger Games given our current socioeconomic and political arena. What happens over and over is a society successfully pretending to change so that nothing changes. The goal is status quo and the outcome of this game is/has always been predetermined. No matter what decisions you make in this game, you are going to sacrifice something and you will be judged for that. And when one of the most visible and high-profile women in our world is maligned for her choice to be a mother first, no one is winning anything.
Oh, there is definitely a "Feminist Nightmare" out there alright, it is just not to be laid at the feet of this one woman and it is not because of her choice to be a mother. Like Kristen Rowe-Finkbeiner, the founder of MomsRising.com said:
What we need now is a different arena in which to shine this light. We need to change the rules of the game. We need to shake up the status quo and we need to start by placing real value on the roles that women choose to prioritize in their lives.THAT is what I see Michelle Obama doing. I see her taking a leading role in changing the way families look at healthy eating and healthy living. I see her making a difference by addressing issues that matter to all mothers (and really, these should be issues and policies that matter to everyone, like Whitney said... "I believe the children are our future.") FLOTUS is showing the world that there is immense value in being a mother and providing the care and nurturing that is important to the well-being of all families. By doing so, she is also bringing to light the issues of economic security for mothers and women, and how and why this is good for everyone.
Women like Michelle Obama are making it possible for women like me to answer the question, "What do you do for a living?" with a sense of pride and confidence in my own Mom-in-Chief-ness. And I am getting better at answering that question with a straight up, I am a MOM. The thing that irks me the most in all of this is that quite A LOT of people think that my life choices (and Michelle's) are not actually real "choices". That I have made them based on the belief that I have somehow been robbed of my agency and forced to make this terribly un-feminist choice for myself. And therein lies the crux of the issue...
How exactly are women to have agency in a world created BY and FOR men?
The hard truth of the matter is that the patriarchy isn't about to step up anytime soon and suddenly say, "Oh, FEMINISM... I see what you've been trying to say now!" Why would they? The playing field has been forever tipped in their favour. And sure, we'll get a few shots and even score some points now and then, but within the current framework of our culture, our history and our society, it is an unfortunate truth that women, and especially mothers, just can't win.
But that doesn't mean we won't stop fighting.
Because...
The landscape is changing and our time is coming.
natasha~
Feminist Fare Friday: Edition #13
...took a little break last week.
I apologize, I think it must have been all of the shovelling that I had to do thanks to an early Alberta Snowmageddon! I was TUCKERED out all week long. On top of the snow, I had an on again, off again stomach flu-y, sick kid, which is why, parents of the world, I can not stress enough how important it is to tech your kids how to use a puke bucket EARLY in life!
On that note, here is a little bit of what the femisphere has spit out in the past week or so...
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1. Girls like to build things. Last week (and just in time for holiday shopping) the Goldieblox video was everywhere! Amidst all the RA! RA! GIRL POWER!! posts, there were some that brought up deeper issues regarding gendered toy marketing and girls in STEM and it is these reasons that are part of why, while I like the product and the idea behind it, I am still somewhat disillusioned by the flaxen-haired, perfect little Goldie who is the one doing the building. Seems I am not the only one not buying into the hype of this toy and a lot of kids are just not that into it. Not only that, but this week, we learned that the marketing team used the music from the Beastie Boys song "Girls" without permission for the commercial that sparked all this discussion and is now in a legal battle with the band. Either way this goes, I don't think we'll be getting a Goldieblox at the SAHF house - we build lots with Lego and blocks and whatever else the kids find that works around here. And like one parent commented about the toy,
"...it is very unlikely that we will be able to buy our way to equality."
2. #FeministSelfies. Last week the folks at Oxford Dictionary unveiled that "SELFIE" was the 2013 world of the year. And then the fine folks at Jezebel, decided to publish a post examining the phenomenon and the writer concluded that selfies are an insecure lady's cry for help! {Insert collective internet eye-roll here.} And then insert totally awesome #FeministSelfies here.... 'cause when someone writes something particularly asinine on the internet, we feminist types like to respond with a hashtag (thanks to @thewayoftheid and @convergecollide for this one) and TAKE OVER the interwebs! I added my own particular "cry for help" and posted 13 (THIRTEEN!) selfies. We are all beautiful people and it's more than OK to celebrate that! Or to just be silly and post funny faces on the internet --- because we can!
3. How to be a good feminist. This infuriating debate is ever ongoing. Women live in a damned if you do, damned if you don't world and the only common denominator seems to just BE DAMNED! I read Rhiannon Lucy Cosslett's "I'm a half-arsed, accidental feminist.." article in The Guardian this week and while I don't agree with her "Who has time for all of this, it's just all TOO HARD!" kind of thinking, I understand her frustrations with the feminist movement.
"The constant litany of "you're doing it wrong" is dispiriting.
The in-fighting and the vitriol are turnoffs to a new generation."
4. Michelle Obama was called a "feminist nightmare" this week and I had coffee with a friend yesterday who has a hard time telling people that she is a full-time Stay-at-Home Mom. Both of these occurrences have lit my brain on fire and as such, they deserve a whole post all on their own. Stay tuned folks, I'll address these issues and some of #3 as well. It's coming soon and it may not be pretty....
In the mean time...
Have a wonderful weekend everyone. And Happy Chanukah-Thanksgiving-Thanksgivukah to all those celebrating family and friends and love and light!
Cheers,
natasha~
Selfie: An Official Word.
In honour of Selfie becoming the official word of the year according to the smarty-pants peeps over at Oxford Dictionaries, I give you 13 of my very own selfies.
The good, the bad, the 'what the hell was I thinking', and the 'yeah, that's right, I did just post that SELFIE all over the internet, future employers be damned'!
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1. The 'Look I am at the hospital and they made we wear this ugly gown.' selfie.
2. The 'Trapped under a sleeping child.' selfie.
3. The 'Look how artistic I am, I caught myself in a ray of sunshine.' selfie.
4. The 'My kid is the handsomest EVER' selfie.
5. The 'Duckface' selfie. (I am so, so, sorry!)
6. The 'I don't really go to the gym, I swim instead and look like a dork in my swimcap.' selfie.
7. The 'make a funny face and stand sideways so you look slimmer' obligatory, bathroom selfie.
8. The Pet Selfie. (That took 15 takes!)
9. The 'Look at me, I got caught in a torrential rainstorm.' selfie.
10. The 'fresh out of the shower' selfie. What? Cleanliness and Godliness and all that....
11. The 'kissing my little mini-me' selfie.
12. A picture of a POLAROID selfie! (This shit is GOLD people!)
13. And finally, the 'its -30 degrees Celcius and this smile is actually frozen on my face' selfie.
LONG LIVE THE SELFIE!!
natasha~
Am I pretty? And other ways we use the internet...
A couple of weeks ago I came across something on the internet that made my heart and my head hurt. It made me hurt for the awkward, unpopular, misunderstood, lost teenage girl that I was oh so many years ago, and it made me hurt for all the awkward, unpopular, misunderstood, and lost teenage girls that are doing this THING today.. The thing I am talking about is a YouTube phenomenon called, " Am I Pretty or Ugly?". Girls, many of them young teenagers, upload a video of themselves and ask the collective opinion of the brutally honest (read: cruel) YouTube commenters to tell them if they are, you guessed it, pretty or ugly.
I am simultaneously saddened that hundreds of girls are doing this (There are almost 600,000 results when you search for "am I pretty or ugly" on Youtube) and I am curious as to how this phenomenon differs from our culture of sharing/oversharing/liking/+1'ing/RTing and so on that we do everyday on all our various social media sites. If you really think about this, have we actually progressed that far from that insecure teenager looking for some kind of validation?
And if we are also being brutally honest here and the answer is not really, then why is that?
We post multiple different kinds of selfies all over the internet. We post pictures of cakes we have baked and delicious meals we have prepared. We post before and after pictures of our house cleaning. We post pictures of our fancy new nail polish application. We post our #NewDo pics. We post our sweaty faces after a good workout. And then we wait. We wait for the validation of our efforts. We wait for the likes, the <3, the fancy emoticon hearts. We wait for the comments. We wait to be told from friends and strangers alike that, "Yes, yes indeed, you are pretty, talented, organized, creative, sparkly, strong, brilliant, hilarious!" We would all be lying through our teeth if we didn't admit to feeling that validation, that sense of "they like me, they really, really LIKE me" every time there is a new like or comment or favourite or RT on any of the different ways we broadcast ourselves each and every day.
I think we are all guilty of doing a bit of the "am I pretty or ugly" game. We just frame it differently now that we are grown-ups and are, of course, fully confident in ourselves and our lives (ha!). For the most part, we also choose our audience better too (although I suppose this is debatable depending on your followers or friends lists).
Is it any wonder that our children are now using these tools and these sites to seek validation about themselves? Think of the examples we are setting for them all the time. We record all of their special moments and tell ourselves that we are going to go home and make a wonderful video montage of their lives for posterity and what do we do instead? We upload it to Vine or Instagram or Facebook and wait for the "OMG!! So much CUTENESS!!!" comments. We lose the pure thrill of the moment and wait for the thrill of "sharing" that moment with everyone else. We are essentially showing our children that they exist for others entertainment, for mommy and daddy to broadcast to the world and we are telling them that the internet gets a say in their lives. So, it begs the question then, why wouldn't they then take control of this into their own hands once they are able to and seek that validation on their own?
Look, I am not trying to be a hypocrite. I post A LOT of pictures and videos of my kids online. As they get older though, I am becoming more and more aware of how this can and WILL affect them in the future. They will see their photos on the internet and they will see the comments. They will see MY comments and they will read what others have said about them too, the good and the bad.
Something in all of this brings me back to what I learned from Gordon Neufeld last year at his "Raising Kids in a Digital Age" lecture. I went back and had a look at my notes and his slides and found the one I was thinking about.
Dr. Neufeld calls this diagram the "roots of attachment". These roots are the things that all children, all human beings, need to feel like they belong, that they are loved, that they have a strong home base that they are attached to. It's our job as parents to provide all of these things, to ensure that these "roots" have a good strong hold in the ground before the "plant" can grow to its full potential. Yet if you take a closer look at all of these things, most of them can be associated with or superficially fulfilled by one form of Social Media or another. Contact and connection - Friend Request and Follow. Approval and significance - LIKE and RT. Belonging and loyalty - Groups and Lists and Circles. Warmth and Love - comments and <3 and :-) faces!
Listen, you don't have to be a renowned child psychologist to figure out that the internet in all its glorious connectivity, is actually removing us from true human connection and attachment. That in our attempts to give our children all they need to be independent and "successful" in this world, we are actually letting them loose into a world that, for the most part, does not CARE about their best interests, that can and will judge them anonymously for every flaw and every wrinkle in the pattern of their being. Unless we really start to think about how we are raising our children (and how we ourselves are behaving and using Social Media) in this digital age, we are running the risk that our children will see themselves through the distorted and superficial lens of something that, try as they might (through asking questions like "Am I pretty or ugly?) will never fill up their basic human need for connection and attachment and a true sense of self-worth.
I realize that Youtube and social media and the internet are not going anywhere. I just hope that I am setting a good example for my children about how to use it responsibly and also making sure that overall, the roots of their budding trees are getting all the watering and nutrients that they need to thrive in this world, both online and off.
natasha~
*For more information about the 'Am I pretty or ugly?' phenomenon, check out the website and project that performance artist Louise Orwin has started about it.