Silver Linings List

I am a couple of days behind for my #40silverlinings posts and so tonight, I give you a small list of things that have made my week have that slight little glow around the edges.

#11. A return to regular date night for B and I. AND, I actually ate some incredible bacon-wrapped chorizo-stuffed dates that night as well, so...  it was a double date night! (Seriously though, check out Canteen when you can, you won't be disappointed.)

#12. My incredibly cheesy pun-iness! (See above. Yes, I am a dork.)

#13. A friend who is there for me whenever I need her, even when she is about to lose her own shit! (Love you L!!)

#14. NAPS. I swear on days when we ALL nap, everything gets outlined in silver and rainbows and covered in unicorn farts!

#15. This picture.

You're welcome.

(I might have a slight obsession with Sons of Anarchy right now, and Charlie Hunman is MY TV boyfriend! Get your own!)

Have a great weekend everyone,

Natasha~

(I do not know the origin of this photo, sorry lucky, lucky photographer who got to do this shoot!)

 

gap

When I was 12 going on 13, I was kind of a messed up kid. I was dealing with my father remarrying and in my mind abandoning us for a whole new family, I was still hiding the fact that a neighbour had molested me and I was facing the terrifying prospect of starting Grade 9 at a brand new school. And I had a gap between my two front teeth.

While that list up top should have been tops on the priority list of un-messing me, it was my teeth that became the focus of my insecurities. I BEGGED my mother to take me to our dentist to have caps put on to get rid of the offending gap. For some reason that I still don't understand, she agreed to this, and before I started school that year my gap was gone.

As it turns out, no amount of dental work takes the target off your back once you are get in the cross hairs of the 'wrong' crowd. I won't bore you with the details of teenage cruelty, but let's just say that high school was not a great time in my life. I rejoiced at the end of each year of it, because that meant one less class of the mean girls and jackasses picking on me.

Fast forward to sometime in late 1998 and having grown up and lived and come to love myself a bit more, I decided it was time to let my gapped tooth smile shine for all the world to see. I was gonna rock that thing Lauren Bacall and Madonna style!

I went to my then dentist and told him what I wanted. What seemed to me to be an easy fix (take of the caps), was in fact, not possible. After too many years bonded to the front of my teeth, the old caps had to be drilled off and the only option I had then was to have full crowns put in place.

I remember being quite disappointed about this. I really wanted to own that gap of mine and be proud of it. To reclaim a teeny tiny part of me that I had lost so many years ago. This wasn't just about my teeth, it was about being proud of myself and celebrating my fight back to the land of self-esteem. Alas, this was not meant to be and crowns were made and new front teeth I got.

Those chompers have served me well up until now and it seems I have a new "gap" to deal with. My advancing age, an annoying case of receding gums and a new dentist who swears she can make my smile even better, all added up to me sitting in her office for three hours this morning, shedding the old crowns and prepping for my new, NEW front teeth.

So why exactly am I telling you all about my dental history?

I am not sure really.

Maybe it's because sitting in that reclined dentist chair, watching The Marilyn Denis Show on the TV in the ceiling, brought back memories of the reasons I wanted to get rid of that gap in the first place. Maybe it is because in those days, I was so worried about being made fun of, that my only thought was to get rid of any imperfection that I thought would give the mean kids more ammo against me.

And maybe because I was thinking about this so much today, that this video and the penetrating voice of the incredible Shane Koyczan hit me square in the teeth!!

Please watch it, and share it and remember it.

As I remember that gap-toothed tween from so long ago and give her a big huge hug and tell her she is BEAUTIFUL!

[vimeo]http://vimeo.com/59956490[/vimeo]

Thank you,

Natasha~

P.S. This whole getting new, new front teeth is my silver lining for today (#10) ... I have been waiting for a few years to do this and now was the time.

motherhood mountaineering

Why is it that every few months someone gets it in their head to go on a rant against motherhood? It's as if these people forget that they actually have mothers and in most cases are themselves mothers too. This week's target was none other than 'the mommy blogger'. Her crime you ask? Taking feminism a step back because she has discovered a hidden talent for making crafts out of paint swatches or finding the best homemade organic baby food mix for her fussy little eater and subsequently blogging about it.

In her Huffpo piece this past week, Amana Manori of The Purple Fig says that the problem (as she sees it) is this:

"... many of these blogs perpetuate gender stereotypes and generalize female behaviour. Intentionally or unintentionally, many mommy bloggers do one of two things. First, many mommy bloggers may be living very fulfilling and well-rounded lives that you don't get to see through their blogs. However, when all they talk about is such things as making homemade organic-only baby food, they disregard these other aspects of their lives resulting in a partial portrayal of motherhood.

On the flip side, it is true that some mommy bloggers are solely occupied with such tasks as canning baby food yet; their blogs suggest their lives are deeply fulfilling and they wouldn't want to be doing anything else. This type of blog not only perpetuates the false notion that women are only happy to be in the home and would prefer to spend their days fussing over things related to the house; but also, inadvertently isolates other mothers who don't measure up."

To me this sounds like nothing more than another mom feeling some kind of inadequacy in her life and looking for someone else to blame for that. Oh and for page views, she wraps it all up with keywords like anti-feminism. Correct me if I am wrong but anyone who starts a post with the words, "I consider myself a feminist." and then proceeds to condemn other women for their choices, seems to me, decidedly NOT very feminist.

Aside from that though, let's consider her argument for a minute. Is it really so bad to fully immerse oneself into a new position or role? Would we expect anything less from someone in the workforce starting a new job, or managing a new project? Why, oh why, are mothers {and specifically the stay-at-home type} always put into a completely different (undervalued, yet overly judged) category than anyone else, male or female?

Think about it. No other group or subsection of society has so much scrutiny placed on them, so much pressure to NOT SCREW THINGS UP, than mothers. From the moment of conception, everything we eat, everything we do to ourselves is up for comment and general concern. That is a lot of pressure folks! And even if you do manage to DO everything perfectly, eat all the right foods, take all the right vitamins, rest, work out, whatever, none of that is a guarantee that something won't go wrong.

And then you give birth (in whatever way is best for you or you know the most about) to this new little human. And the pressure mounts and life as you have known it, changes forever. Having done this twice, I have this to say to Ms. Manori, YES, everything I was before that moment, the woman I was, Natasha A.B. (ante-baby), flew right out the window.

And then I became MORE.

I became a true citizen of the earth, with newfound cares and thoughts for more than just me and my life and comforts. I will be the first to admit that before I had kids I was selfish. I lived my life for me and my concern for others was not as great. I had the tunnel vision of a lot of DINC (double income no children), upwardly mobile thirty-somethings. Yes, my husband and I were planning for a family, but we had things on our bucket list to check off first and even then, we really did not think that life would be that much different once kids entered the picture. He would take a few weeks off, I would go back to work after six months and life would be peachy keen.

HA!

Having a child is akin to coming out of a very long tunnel under a mountain {pun TOTALLY intended}. One one side of the mountain, you have the hilly (pre-baby) side. Everything is nice and pretty and the trails are relatively easy to manoeuvre around. You can take long leisurely walks and picnic by the stream whenever you want. Then, one day, you decide to try going over to the other side. You get in your car, turn on your lights and enter the tunnel and drive for a while. After a bit, you finally see the light at the end of the tunnel and you come out of it and...

BAM!!!

The terrain has completely changed.

Now you are faced with this jagged, wild, uncharted territory. Their are no easy trails in this side of the mountain, you have to hack through some pretty thick brush and make your own. Sometimes you are going to go the wrong way and end up at the edge of a cliff or up against a wall of rock. Other times you will blaze a new trail to the most amazing waterfall full of rainbows and find treasures you did not know existed. Either way, you learn. You learn what works, what doesn't and what it takes to keep going.

Along the way, you may also learn that you are really, really good at things that previously did not exist in your life {on the other side of the mountain}. For some that may be uncovering their inner craft-onista and getting your grandma's old sewing machine or knitting needles out. For others, like myself, it may be discovering a whole new world of parenting through babywearing and building a community around that. And yes, for some it is even about turning their kitchens into tiny testing grounds for every conceivable mix of pureed organic baby food.

And because we live in an era of online sharing and often find our parenting "villages" or community through our internet connections, some moms like to blog about these new things that they have discovered about themselves and on this new terrain. What Ms. Manori failed to recognize in her post, is that for some of these mommy bloggers, their crafting and puree-ing and babywearing and sharing of these activities through their blogs and social media, leads some of them to be incredible business women, entrepreneurs and leaders in their communities.

I don't have to look far to find the likes of such mommies in my own community. We have an organic-food-pureeing mom to thank for the wonderful, and very successful Baby Gourmet line of products that often satisfy even the fussiest of eaters. Or the ever crafty DIY Mommy, who took her craftiness and creativity to global levels with the creation of Golly Gee Baby, a kids clothing line that is now manufactured with a fair trade cooperative in Nicaragua. This list goes on and on and really, there is no shortage of "mommy bloggers" out there who are making their mark in this world and forging new trails on this side of the mountain.

So, no, I do not think that mommy bloggers are not a step back for feminism. I think they are brave mothers navigating their way across the rough terrain of the Motherhood Mountain Range.

And sometimes they leave breadcrumbs {or blog posts} for those of us following behind to help us on our own journeys across the range too.

The incredible Koolau Mountain Range, Oahu, Hawaii. 

Happy Trailblazing,

natasha~

Daylight.

Oy! I am one tired human tonight.

It was a good day. Bikram yoga, skating with the kids, some shopping with the SILs and then dinner at the inlaws.

I have a post that I have been working on that I wanted to finish tonight, but I just can't. I can barely keep my eyes open.

So instead, I am going to finally finish folding Mount Laundry and then take my tired bones to bed... EARLY!

And that ladies and gents, is my Silver Lining for today.

#9. An early bedtime.

Oh yeah, AND...

I can't stop singing this song. {Badly, just ask my kids!}

[youtube]http://youtu.be/AqR-ElB5kXY[/youtube]

Score!!

It seems I have been hit with an early Spring Cleaning bug. This week I finally cleaned up and organized the laundry room and unpacked the few remaining boxes that had migrated there for lack of a better place. I now can actually see and use the counter-top that is in there and even managed to organize the drawers with all the kids crafting supplies.

Today I tackled the next room and cleaned and de-cluttered my half of our joint office and my desk. And yes, it took me the better part of the day!

BUT...

While I was cleaning and purging and shredding A LOT of papers, this is what I found:

•  $70.00 worth of Chapters/indigo gift cards.
•  A $25.oo gift card for Superstore.
•  A $150.00 gift certificate for Cosafina (a home decor store here in Edmonton).

And...

•  Not one, but TWO gift certificates for a one-hour massage!!

All in all, I'd say that this is not too bad for a days work and a definite silver lining for today (#8).

Now to just figure out what I want to put on that very bare wall that I am staring at all day???

Any suggestions?

Natasha~

#40silverlinings: a list

It's Friday night.

I just got back home after a lovely dinner out with my two sisters-in-law (sister-in-laws ??) and for tonight's post I have a little list of silver linings for you.

#3. Today I finished a book! This is a big deal because for the past six months I have had about 3-4 books all ongoing at the same time and I have not finished one, I have not finished ANY of my book club books before the actual date of book club. This book, How to Be a Woman by Caitlin Moran, is now DONE and it is done a whole eight days before my next book club night!  Oh yeah!! I rock. And I can't wait to see what kind of discussions we are going to have about this one!!

#4. Good hair days should always be celebrated and today was a darn good one. Most of that has to do with a healthy dose of Maui Wowie Beach Mist by Philip B. (and now that you have my secret, go pick up a bottle of this hair magic locally from the lovely ladies at Lux Beauty Boutique) and also that weird point in my hairstyle's life when it is somehow the perfect length. Who know how long this "perfection" will last, so it gets a silver lining status for today!

#5. Wine. A nice Pinot Noir. Enough said.

#6. Finding that missing $50 iTunes gift card from Christmas. Today is now officially dubbed New Music for Natasha day!!

#7. It's a long weekend!! (In Alberta, we celebrate Family Day in February) Three days of chillin' with my little family and so many silver linings to look for in the days to come!

Cheers all,

Natasha~

The gift of giving

Kids {and pets too} have this wonderful way of helping us see the silver linings all around us. I just asked my four year old daughter what her favourite part of today was and her answer was, "Colouring pictures." Simple. Easy. Fun! Today she drew me a picture of a stick me holding her (a stick baby) in my arms under a purple sun. It is beautiful, almost as beautiful as the one of her stick brother sitting on a toilet, complete with yellow pee and brown poop colouring too. She's into realism it seems.

My favourite part of today?

When my little family piled on me in bed this morning to present me with my Valentine's present. We don't usually do anything too elaborate on V-Day, but for some reason this year called for presents. As I admired the dragon artwork on the homemade wrapping paper, complete with the words "You are pretty" on it, the kids helped me open my card. It was a cheese-y glitter and heart filled over-sized rhyming card and I loved it.

But I loved the look on my kids faces even more as I ripped open the present to reveal the surprise that they had KEPT A SECRET  for well over a week!! (This was a big accomplishment for Mr and Miss Spill the Beans!!).

The present itself is more than I expected (a new iPad Mini) and while it is always nice to have new toys, my silver lining today was seeing the joy that my kids got out of GIVING it to me (#2). That made me feel like I am at least doing something right. And God knows, with all the things that we moms fret so much about doing wrong, it felt good to feel that.

It was a wonderful way to start my day and paved the way for us to all have a great, fun and super LOVEY Valentine's day!

Wishing you all kinds of cheese-y love and fun today...

Natasha~

the great fast

Ah Lent... That time of year when those of Christian faiths around the worlds "give up" something before Easter, to commemorate Jesus' 40 days in the desert. (Where I am sure, if he had just  stopped to ask for directions, would have been a week, maybe two, tops!) As a kid, we would choose to give up chocolate, or TV, or more often hitting and pinching each other - trust me, as the oldest of four siblings, that one was the hardest!

Now, I am what you would call a C-GINO (Catholic Girl In Name Only) kind of gal. I don't go to church regularly, I did not baptize my children and as you can guess, I have some serious issues with some of the more rigid teachings and doctrines of the Catholic church.

But Lent? Somehow Lent has always meant something for me and this year is no exception.

So while the leader of the Catholic Church himself, with impeccable timing, has decided to GIVE UP his entire flock this year, I am taking things along a different route. This year I am going do DO something for Lent.

I am going to write for the next 40 days. Something every day. Something that makes me happy. A daily "silver lining".

Because sometimes we lose sight of them. The small things that we miss while we rush about in our fast-paced world. Those moments that are gone in an instant in our 'check-list checking, phone reminder beeping, time is slip, slip, slipping away' lives.

And really... It is just so much easier to focus on the crappy things in our days.

You hit the snooze button one too many times and now everyone is late for school and/or work. You forgot that it was pajama day at school and now you feel like the worst parent ever and your kid is giving you THAT LOOK. You didn't eat breakfast and now at 2 PM, you are shoving a chocolate-filled croissant in your face that you know will just make you feel like you want a nap in an hour. Which you can't have because you have to get the kids to swimming and then you put the swim bag on the floor and it got soaked through and now the kids have to go home in the middle of winter wrapped in damp towels and their jackets. AND you forgot to take something out of the freezer for dinner... again, so its a mad rush to figure out a decent meal that everyone will eat. There is laundry piled a mile high, a stack of papers that have been on your kitchen counter for 2 months now that you really should have a look at and for some reason your spouse is NOT offering you a foot rub.

Life SUCKS.

Or does it?

Those extra nine minutes in bed were spent smooshed between your two children, one gently running his fingers through your hair and the other one spooned up against you with her little hand intertwined with yours. That croissant was TO DIE FOR delicious and still warm. And while the swim bag was soaking up half of the water on the deck, your 4-year old treaded water for 30 seconds without any floaties and then looked over and full-on winked at you with the biggest smile ever! The laundry is at least clean and while your spouse may not be giving you a foot rub, he is planning on surprising you on Valentine's day with a new iPad mini.

See?

Silver linings.

And I need to find them.

I need to focus on the joy in my life, to keep the shadows away and to remind myself that my life absolutely does not SUCK.

So, this is what I plan to do. 40 days of Silver Linings.

I am giving up any feelings of despair and depression and self-pity for Lent.

What about you? What are you giving up? Or do you want to join me and make a little Silver Linings Playbook of your own? (Disclosure-I have not seen this movie yet and it is on our Must See list for the next date night!)

Natasha~

1. Today's Silver Lining was me finding my inner HAPPY PLACE. 

It is that spot just past the break of the waves on a beautiful Pacific Ocean beach of the coast of an island in Hawaii.

That spot of calm.

And I am in the water. Floating. On my back. My ears are in the water, my eyes are closed, I am one with the water...

I am of the water.

And in that moment it is just me and the ocean. No sound.

Just the sweet bouyancy of the salty water and the warmth of the sun beaming down on me.

I am fluid.

I am calm. 

It is vast and I am small.

And happy.