First day of school

So this happened this week...

My baby started Kindergarten.

He was pretty excited about school and has been practicing how to say his teacher's name for the past two weeks. (It's a French Immersion program and her name is very French).

I was excited for him too. Kindergarten is a wonderful time in a child's life. There is play, there are new friends, there is learning, and of course, there is RECESS! (Which so far, along with Gym time, seems to be the only things of importance that he can tell me happen during his days at school.)

The classroom is not a new thing for my kid. He has been at an amazing playschool for the past three years and has had some wonderful teachers, has grown so much in personality and confidence in those years and has made what I think will be, at least one life-long friend who happens to now also be in the same school and class as him.

So no, I am not the sappy, crying mom standing at the door watching her baby go into the great unknown without her. (For all you sappy, crying mamas, I give you all a big hug and say, "Dry your tears and go get a coffee. ALONE. Enjoy these few hours just to yourself. Trust me on this one.")

Fast forward a year from now and I know it will be a totally different story.

Grade One. ALL. DAY. LONG. Away from me. And in a desk, doing studious big kid things, navigating the majority of his day without me and then getting homework.

I guarantee you though, that the thing he is going to look forward to the most and talk about the most will still be recess and gym time!

I have a lot of deep seated school fears for my children. Elementary school was not a really fun time for me. We moved from a small three-room county school to the big city when I was in Grade 3. My mother decided to embrace her heritage and enrolled me in a French Immersion school (I took a crash course in French over the summer!). It was a rough transition for me and I just never really fit in. I was the new girl, the one who would cry every day because I didn't understand my teachers and I didn't have any friends. I was also one of only two kids in my class (and quite possibley the whole CATHOLIC school) that was from a family of divorce!

I was easy pickins' for the mean kids.

But that was me. And I survived it. Relatively unscathed (years of therapy and self-medication notwithstanding).

I have different hopes for my children. I don't want them to survive school. I want them to thrive in school! I want them to love learning, to be confident, strong-minded little people. I want them to do better than I did.

Because this also happened this week.

And she ROCKED it!

If this week is any indication of the future for my children in the school system, they will do so much more than survive!

And if all their dreams for the future pan out, I will be one well looked after senior citizen!!

Happy School Days Everyone!

Natasha~

The babysitter conundrum

Ah, the babysitter, that coveted being that you can trust with your kids, that will play with them, feed them, care for them, and keep them alive long enough for you to sneak in a date night here and there, or get to a spin class or do those errands that take 1.5 hours when you are alone, but at least 4 hours when the kids are with you. For some of us the babysitter is a family member. Grandma and Grandpa or the aunties and uncles. But what happens when no family is around to help out? When you live far away from your family or caring for your kids regularly is a bit much for the grandparents?

Besides our family members, my kids have had three babysitters. One is the teenage daughter of my former La Leche League leader and has known my kids since they were teeny tiny and has loved them ever since, one is a wonderful woman that I met at a Modern Mama babysitter mixer and has been our regular day-time sitter for the past 18 months and the third is a new girl that also sits for one of my best friends.

The problem is that two of them are heading back to school in the fall and our regular sitter had the nerve to go off and get married and is starting a family of her own (Sheesh!). So I am now without a regular sitter for any or all of the above reasons that I would need one!

And being as we just moved into a new neighbourhood, I have been keeping my eyes open and ears to the ground for any leads close by. It just so happens that our immediate neighbours across the alley are a lovely family with two teenage boys (14 and 16) and my first thought moving in was, "I wonder if either of them would want to babysit for us?".

I am bringing this up, because the topic of babysitters came up today with the kids while out for a family walk. Little C asked me if our new babysitter was going to be a boy. Up to now and before we moved, I had not really contemplated the idea, mainly because we did not have any boys of the babysitting age around us or available and I already had the best sitters around!

One of my kids favourite story books is a Fancy Nancy one called, "Fancy Nancy & the Sensational Babysitter".  In it Nancy is anxiously awaiting her new babysitter 'Alex' and is bitterly disappointed when HE shows up! In the end Alex turns out to be quite good at this babysitting thing and Nancy gives him a big thumbs up and hopes he comes again soon. The concept of a boy being a babysitter is not a big deal to my children.

But it seems that for others, this is not the case. Tonight just before dinner, I posed this question on both Twitter and Facebook.

"Have you or would you hire a teenage boy to babysit your kids?"

The responses have ranged from a straight up "Hell, no!" to "I have, I do and I would gladly sing his praises. He's an excellent kid and is a fabulous sitter for my 2 year old daughter!".  A few have said that they wouldn't want to 'take the risk' with a boy sitter.  Most comments say that yes, they would and that choosing a sitter is about knowing the person, regardless of gender. A lot of comments have been about fabulous memories of the boy babysitters people had as kids and the common thread is that they often tend to play more with kids than the girls do.

But the two comments that have stood out the most for me are from my friend Farren and from the husband of another friend.

Farren said, "We limit boys and men as nurturers simply by entertaining this idea. Trust people, not genders."

And Doug said, "...Boundaries are defined not only by what they contain, but by what's outside them. It's not about the teenage boy, it's about those who question the teenage boy... and why. It all comes down to individual trust, and I don't see what gender has to do with that."

While the majority of the comments have been that yes, most would or have had a boy babysitter, the ones that won't even consider it an option because of the potential risk that is perceived when a teenage boy is alone with kids and left to his own devices are the ones that are burning a hole in my gut tonight.

I can understand the need to protect our children from any and all potential harm, but what I can't understand is the blatant sexism and prejudice that exists in our world. Yes, there are bad men out there and they do some very bad things {trust me people, THIS I know}, but to paint all boys with a blatant "never gonna happen" paintbrush, just doesn't sit well with me. My 17-year old nephew is a huge kid, he is 6'2" already, has a deep man's voice and is a guy's guy. He is also the most gentle and patient kid I have ever seen. He is an amazing big brother to his 2.5 year old sister and a super fun cousin for my little ones. That someone would think that because he is a boy, this makes him any less caring or potentially more 'dangerous' than say, his 14-year old sister, makes me shake my head.

These boys are the future fathers of our world and like Farren says, why would we want to limit their potential for nurturing? Why not give them a chance to care for small people, to learn these life skills and be better MEN for it? How many of us are married to men who never spent much time with kids before they had their own? Why would we want to perpetuate this cycle?  How can we even start to contemplate a world in which we are all equal when we can't even see a teenage girl and a teenage boy as having equal merit as a babysitter?

I have a lot of questions tonight and not a lot of answers. Doug's comment has me thinking and thinking. About the boundaries that we put up around our children and ourselves. About what we are trying to contain (innocence? theirs? ours?) and what we are trying to keep out. About my own prejudices and fears and from that {not yet talked about} place from which they stem...

The reality is, that I am still in need of a few good babysitters for my roster. If the boys across the alley are game, are good kids (as I suspect they are) and have some basic babysitting skills (IE, can make a mean PB&J sandwich, know a few things about LEGO building and can muddle through a tea party), then I'm pretty sure I am too.

Wish me luck!

Natasha~

What about you? Would you or have you had a boy babysitter care for your kids? Why or why not?

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This is Post 25 of the 31 Days of Summer Blog Challenge. 

There are some good ones today from my co-bloggers, please check them out.

Zita at The Dulock Diaries.

Meaghan at MagzD Life

April at This Mom’s Got Something to Say

Aramelle at One Wheeler’s World

 Jessica at 2plus2X2

and Liam at In the Now

Wordless Wedne... Um Thursday.

OK fine, I am just too darn tired to actually write a whole bunch tonight. I just got back from a block party meeting. Which means that, YES, I am finally making some friends in our new neighbourhood! For both me and the kids! And I can't wait for the party! It is going to be so much fun! {Okay, THAT is a whole lot of exclamation points. I MAY have had some wine at the meeting.}

Today was spent at the Edmonton Fringe Festival with my sister and her kids, and although it was an overcast day, the cousins all had a blast together!!

Our favourite street performers where the incredibly fun and cute twin sister act, The Kif-Kif Sisters from Quebec City. My favourite part of the act may have been the giant balloon boobies, but the kids loved when the sisters actually started to put their whole bodies INSIDE the balloons!

And then of course you have THESE two little toddler upstagers, totally trying to steal the show from the performers on the stage! They were even taking bows when the crowd was clapping. I was somewhat embarrassed, but also kind of proud of their first street performance as well!

And I got to hang out with my favourite little man who is growing so fast and just LOVES to talk to himself when we are taking self-portraits!

It was a good {long} day and again, I am going to aim to get to bed before midnight tonight.

Till tomorrow Mamas!

Natasha~

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Day 23 of the Summer Blog Challenge.

I am using PicMonkey.com to edit all of my photos, you should check it out! So easy and FREE!

Go and show some love to my fellow bloggers tonight.

Zita at The Dulock Diaries.

Meaghan at MagzD Life

April at This Mom’s Got Something to Say

Aramelle at One Wheeler’s World

 Jessica at 2plus2X2

and Liam at In the Now

Monkeys and Elephants and Giraffes... Oh my!

I took the kids to the Telus World of Science today and we went to see the IMAX movie "Born to Be Wild". [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XYxqQODBfEo[/youtube]

You HAVE to see this movie. My kids loved it.

I loved it. A lot!

All day, all I have been thinking about, is how incredible those two women are to have devoted their entire lives to these precious and amazing animals.

And all day I have been day-dreaming about somehow doing the same thing.

There it is. My secret. My 'I wish I could do that when I grow up' desire.

I wish I could rescue and care for wild animals. Big, endangered, majestic, beautiful, jungles of South America and plains of Africa animals.

And the thing that you need to understand is that this wish didn't just start today.

In 2005, Natural Urban Dad and I took THE trip of our lives.We were invited to the destination wedding of a dear friend.

The destination? East Africa.

So off we went on the adventure of a lifetime to this incredible wedding in Dar Es Salaam and then a week-long safari through Northern Tanzania.  The whole trip was magical. And terrifying and eye-opening and spectacular and so many other big words that I can't think of right now.

I mean I stood at the very spot dubbed the 'Cradle of Mankind' for Pete's sake! It doesn't get much more incredible than that!

In the end though, it was all of the wild and wonderful animals that we saw on our week long safari through the Serengeti and the Ngorongoro Crater, that made the most lasting impression on me.

My love of all things giraffe was born in Africa. They were one of the first animals that we saw driving into the park that first day. The only thing I can relate it to is that scene in Jurassic Park when they see all the dinosaurs for the first time and they big sauropods are walking by almost in slow motion. Seeing a herd of giraffes doing that not 50 feet in front of us was like that, but way, WAY, better!

Going to Africa was our last big hurrah trip. Our chance to do something truly adventurous before we started a family. These thoughts about family may have been heavy in my mind the whole time we were on the safari, because every chance I got, I took pictures (FILM pictures, I must add) of baby animals. Baby elephants trying to keep up with their mommies and aunties, baby monkeys grooming themselves, baby hippos resting on their mamas backs, fuzzy baby giraffes trying to reach the tall branches on the Acacia trees. I would make our guide Ali, stop the Land Rover each and every time we came upon a baby anything so I could get yet another shot!

Heck I even took pictures of animals MAKING babies!!

I loved that trip so much and I promised myself that when we did have kids, and they were old enough, we would do it again. Watching the movie today and seeing the looks of wonder and awe on my babies faces just solidified this desire even more. Natural Urban Dad and I talked about it tonight and agreed that yes, we will all make this trek once again in a few years time.

I think, in an ideal world, everyone should stand at the 'Cradle of Mankind' at least once in their lifetime and be humbled by it and truly understand where we all come from and that we are all connected.  And everyone should see all of these magnificent animals in their natural habitats to really know what it means to be 'born to be wild' and know why that matters.

Because it changes EVERYTHING.

At least it did for me.

Asante sana,

natasha~

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Day 22 of the Summer Blog Challenge and now all I want to do is plan our next trip!

Let's go see what these people are up to...

Zita at The Dulock Diaries.

Meaghan at MagzD Life

April at This Mom’s Got Something to Say

Aramelle at One Wheeler’s World

 Jessica at 2plus2X2

and Liam at In the Now

 

It's just a little spilled pickle juice

Silly title I know, but it is what it is and since I don't want to go to bed both mad and without writing something tonight... Here is a short list of things I am grateful for today.

1. My little girl and her two favourite friends having a tea party and two almost 6-year olds who needed the door closed so that they could play big boy imagination games.

2. Spinilates. It does a body good.

3. The lovely eye-candy that is the sweaty, shirtless men, working hard to give me a back yard. I know, so sexist of me, but WHATEVS...

4. Two-step oatmeal muffins that the kids can essentially make themselves and the ensuing house that smells like fresh baking.

5. Day Three of Natural Zen Mama. No yelling, no screaming, actively listening and stopping the busy-ness to just play.

6. Being photographed and photo-bombed by our children!

I need to get to bed before midnight. My mind and my body both need rest.

Goodnight all,

natasha~

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This is Day 21 of the Summer Blog Challenge!

10 Days left!

Go see what everyone else has been up to today.

Zita at The Dulock Diaries.

Meaghan at MagzD Life

April at This Mom’s Got Something to Say

Aramelle at One Wheeler’s World

 Jessica at 2plus2X2

and Liam at In the Now

 

#notbuyingit-part two

I wrote a post last night about how I was upset about the gender stereotyping that occurs at stores like Gymboree and Old Navy for Halloween (and all year long really) and I made a terrible and glaringly awful mistake in that post. I forgot about the boys.

And it is because I totally got called out by this comment from reader Dave (highlighting is mine), that I am writing this now.

...gender stereotyping starts much too young and invades far too much of our society. As bad as it is for the girls who want to be an EMT or Astronaut, and it is really bad, it is even worse in the opposite direction. That’s right, if girls are highly stereotyped as ‘Pretty’, then the degree of stereotyping aimed at boys is far, FAR worse. It is so bad that it is not even recognized as stereotyping – indignation is expressed against the lack of images of girls as pirates or dragons, but no mention is ever made of the lack of boys as butterflies or flowers. The image of girls in traditional ‘boy’ roles may be having trouble breaking into the mainstream, but the image of boys in traditional ‘girl’ roles is almost universally viewed as “queer”, “gay”, or “immoral” to the point where it is never seen and virtually never mentioned – I note that it is not mentioned in your own blog. If we want to see gender equality, then both sides of this inequality have to be addressed...

To be perfectly honest, I didn't quite forget about the boys, I was thinking about them the whole time I was writing the post and struggling with my own ingrained stereotypes.

Because here is the thing...

Even though Natural Urban Dad and I  have not purposely focused on anything particularly gender specific for our children, we are the parents of a superhero, dinosaur, Transformers, and Hero Factory loving boy and a puppy dogs, unicorns , Hello Kitty and fairy loving girly girl. Now that is not to say that at any given point in our house there may in fact be a tea party happening with fairies, puppies AND Transformers all enjoying a sip or two kids running around the house roaring  like the scary T-rex's that they are while wearing their baby dolls on their backs, but for all intents and purposes I am a mama to two kids who A) love each other a whole lot and B) who have pretty specific and somewhat traditional likes and dislikes.

And why wouldn't they?

I am quite the girly girl myself. I like to wear skirts and dresses and jewelry and have pretty shoes and painted toenails and all that jazz. I like to have tea parties (or coffee playdates as we mamas like to call them) and go shopping and I happen to have a love of all things fey as well.

{Case in point: My new sparkly 'Goddess' shoes!}

And Natural Urban Dad is a {ridiculously gorgeous} superhero nerd, who loves his comic books, will never wear pink (although a nice lavender is OK) and firmly believes that all of life's important lessons can be learned from the likes of Superman, Spiderman and The Avengers.

{And it is a key factor in his decorating choices as well.}

Somehow, without quite meaning to do so, not only have we have created  two incredibly lovable and beautiful little creatures, but we have also quite literally created them in our own images!

This is not a bad thing at all, it just means that I need to be a bit more honest about my own thoughts and feelings about gender inequality and stereotypes that exist in this world and in the reality that is my kids lives as well. Am I still upset about the ad images and marketing that kids stores use? YES! Absolutely. Costumes are just that, costumes. To be used to inspire imagination and role play and for kids to pretend to be anything they want to be. Be it a flower, a bug, an astronaut or a dragon. But like Dave said, until we address this from both sides of the gender coin this inequality and stereotyping will continue unchecked.

No one illustrated these points better than my dear friend Alex in this incredible post about her son and his wings! Please read it and know although I am still #notbuyingit from Gymboree, Old Navy or any of the 'girl' this and 'boy' that toys and products that companies keep shoving down our throats, I will likely have a Minnie Mouse and a Zombie on my hands come Halloween this year.

Of course, because he is my son, that zombie may in fact be a daddy zombie wearing his baby zombie in a carrier on his back.

Who knows....?

Till tomorrow,

Natasha~

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This is Day 20 of the 31 Days of the Summer Blog Challenge.

Comments and retweets and sharing makes us all feel special.

Go do some of that over at these blogs too! Thank you.

Zita at The Dulock Diaries.

Meaghan at MagzD Life

April at This Mom’s Got Something to Say

Aramelle at One Wheeler’s World

 Jessica at 2plus2X2

and Liam at In the Now

But, but, but....

I was supposed to write a different post tonight. {Sorry Z, I decided that I wanted to think on that one a bit more.} Instead, you are going to get a look at the emotional turmoil that is a mother more than half-way through summer holidays, about to send not just one, but both of her babies off to school in less than three weeks!

Here we go...

I  am anxious for summer to be over and to get back to the routine of the school year

but,

I don't want summer to end, because we haven't done all that I had planned for us yet.

~

I love our carefree days and NOT having to live by a schedule

but,

I miss MY schedule and any time for just me.

~

I want to have crazy summer nights out with my girlfriends

but,

My evenings are the only time I get alone with Natural Urban Dad.

~

At the end of our days, I am touched out, talked out, and I need a time-out

but,

At the end of our days, all I want is to cuddle them as they fall asleep,

breath in their just-bathed smell and memorize every small detail of them at that very moment.

~

I want Summer to be over.

I want Summer to never end.

~

I want them to grow up.

I want them to stay like this forever.

~

Sigh,

Natasha~

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Day 15 of the Summer Blog Challenge!!

HALF-WAY!

Go! See my friends. Comments and sharing is nice too!

Zita at The Dulock Diaries.

Meaghan at MagzD Life

April at This Mom’s Got Something to Say

Aramelle at One Wheeler’s World

 Jessica at 2plus2X2

and Liam at In the Now

no words, just song

We came, we danced, we sang, we drank, we made new friends and visited with old ones.

Today we have an Edmonton Folk Music Festival hangover!

Until next year my Folkies!!

Love and love and love,

Natasha, Little C, and Folk Princess L.

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This is Day 12 of the Summer Blog Challenge!

Folk Fest weekend is over, back to some serious blogging, you know, with more words and stuff.

Please visit the other challenge participants and comment and like and share and all that jazz...

Zita at The Dulock Diaries.

Meaghan at MagzD Life

April at This Mom’s Got Something to Say

Aramelle at One Wheeler’s World

 Jessica at 2plus2X2

and Liam at In the Now