family, parenting Natasha Chiam family, parenting Natasha Chiam

Schedule, Schmedule!!

I am in full on panic mode.

In three weeks time, BOTH of my babies will be in playschool!

Last year when I was thinking about this it seemed like a no brainer. Lil' C would be in the 4 year old program at our amazing playschool and Princess L would go into the 3 year old program. And I would have 2 mornings a week all to myself!!

Heaven right!?

I am not so sure anymore.

As I sit here and work on what our schedule looks like for the coming school year and figure out how to fit all of our other activities and appointments in to it as well, I am slowly realizing that this may not be the nirvana that I had envisioned.

I try very hard not to over-schedule our lives. I don't believe in having the kids in so many activities that they don't have time to just PLAY and be with me, with Natural Urban Dad and with each other.

But it is getting harder and harder to do this. Lil' C is a very active 4 and a half year old and he NEEDS more physical activity than I can realistically give him. He is starting Gymnastics in a few weeks and will likely continuing with his awesome Hip Hop class (he is kind of a natural).

Princess L is the musical one amongst us (she makes up little songs all the time, mostly to the tune of 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star) and totally thrives in this kind of environment. So more music classes for her and likely gymnastics too since we will be at the gym already for her brother's class.

And then there is swimming, and Sportball and art classes and martial arts and...and... and....

...and it is enough to drive a Mama batty!

And I have not even tried to fit in the things that I want and need to do for me yet! I have a feeling that I will be living and breathing solely based on whatever iPhone App I decide is the best one to use for scheduling our lives (I am SO open to your suggestions please)!

So, if you will excuse me, I have to get back to figuring out this schedule and see if I can at least fit in a shower for me a couple of times a week!!

Natasha~

How are you managing your 'back to school' and back to activities scheduling? Please Share!! 

~~~~~~~~~~

Summer Blog Challenge posts for August 23, 2011

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family, healthful living Natasha Chiam family, healthful living Natasha Chiam

10 years later... and It's True!

I did something today that I have not done in about 10 years. And the fact that I have not done this thing is ten years, kind of makes me lame.

But hey, life happens, you move on, you forget your past....

...and then one day it happens.

You are sitting at the dinner table with your family and your precocious 4 and a half year old (the 1/2 is very important to him right now) comes up with what he thinks is a brilliant idea.

"Mommy, we should all go for a bike ride after dinner."

And really, it is quite a good idea.

Ever since Mommy started to work out on a more regular basis and eat better and talk about how we can all keep our bodies healthy, Little C has really has taken to this. He talks about how he is exercising (Sportball) and eating all his food and getting a good night's sleep so that he can grow and be strong too.

So going for a bike ride after dinner fits right in with our family's healthy living commitment, except for one thing....

....Mommy and Daddy do not own bikes!

At least not until today!

And after a little bit of a shaky start (10 years people!), and a few different test rides, Mama found herself a new baby!!

Ain't she a beaut!? I have yet to name her (because I name all my modes of transportation), but she is an Electra Townie and practically perfect for me! I am not going to be doing a whole heck of a lot of hard-core trail riding and the likes (way too jarring on my joints even if I had some wicked suspension), and I am in LOVE with the look and feel of a cruiser bike!

Natural Urban Dad picked up a nice Specialized Crosstrail bike for himself and then we went to Toys R' Us and got Little C his first pedal bike too. C has been cruising along on a running bike this past year and has great balance so he just needs to work on the pedaling aspect now! His running bike will be passed on to Princess L so that she can get the hang of the balance part as well.

So we have the bikes and now we just have to get ourselves all ready for our first family bike ride...

I am thinking tomorrow!

Natasha~

Life is like riding a bicycle - in order to keep your balance, you must keep moving.  ~Albert Einstein

 

 

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family, marriage Natasha Chiam family, marriage Natasha Chiam

All work and no play makes for...

....late nights alone with your computer!

The other night a fellow blogger posted on her Facebook page that she gets all her best writing and work done between the hours of 10 PM and 1 AM.

I totally agree with her, as this also happens to be my most creative and focused time of the day as well.

BUT....

..this kind of schedule.... well.....

It does nothing for one's love life!

Let's face it. We are up at the crack of dawn with little ones (often after an interrupted night's sleep, because of said littles). We feed them all day, play with them, take them to play dates and the park and various other activities. Some of us work full-time jobs, some of us work from home. We make dinner for the family, give baths, read books and finally put them all to bed. And then it is grown-up time....

Or so we think.

For those of us who work from home, or write a blog, or try to maintain some kind of social media presence, after this kids are down and the dishes washed and the laundry sorted, it is often time to get down to business.

And if we are working till the wee hours on most nights, well, there goes any shot of spending quality time with our spouses.

And as I sit here and write this, I .....

....actually, you know what? I'm not.

I am going to make a choice tonight. I choose NOT to stay up until 1 AM. I choose to actually go to bed at the same time as Natural Urban Dad and {ahem} cherish some time with him (at least until one of the kids wakes up!) So this is all you get tonight!

Good night everyone, get off your computers and go snuggle with your loved ones!

I mean it!

Natasha~

~~~~~~~~~~

Summer Blog Challenge posts for August 14, 2011

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advocacy, family, Life Lessons Learned Natasha Chiam advocacy, family, Life Lessons Learned Natasha Chiam

making a house a home for those who truly need it

A few weeks ago I got a tweet from a wonderful lady asking for 15 minutes of my time. Little did I know what those 15 minutes were about to turn into!!

I called her back and we chatted and she told me about her project, her vision, what she was trying to do and that of all people, I was one of the first ones she thought about for this project (I was very honored!)

I am of course talking about the wonderful Kristi Hammond and the amazing new project she has founded called Local4Local4Local in support of The Ronald McDonald House of Northern Alberta.

So what exactly IS this Local4Local4Local project all about?

From the website:

The Local4Local4Local concept was born very organically. The Ronald McDonald House ™ tweeted out in May that they hadn't anybody signed up for their 'Home for Dinner' Program for the month of June. Founder of Local4Local4Local, Kristi Hammond, received the tweet, researched the program, and saw a valid way to get involved.

The idea grew out of a desire to be involved more than just once or twice per year, while still being able to afford the costs of purchasing food in quantities to feed 50 people for dinner. She thought that if a group of businesses banded together to provide more frequent meals, the share of cost and time would be manageable.

From there, the concept grew to supporting local businesses by purchasing all food for the dinners (as much as possible from local vendors) in order to provide stability to our local economy.

The 'Home for Dinner' program is a wonderful program that the house offers its families. Many of whom spend more hours than most of us work per day at the hospital, in appointments and watching their children getting various treatments and procedures done. And often the last thing on their minds when they finally make it back to the house is cooking a meal. This is where the volunteers come in. Different groups come in throughout the month and will supply all the food and make a fabulous homecooked meal for the WHOLE HOUSE! And for some of the families the impact that this has is immense.

Last week our Local4Local4Local team of over 20 different Edmonton and area businesses got our first look at The Ronald McDonald House and all that it does for the families that stay there!  Trust me, this is no ordinary house by any means, and I highly recommend that you take some time out of your schedule to go for a tour and check it out.

The house itself is HUGE! It has 30 full suites that operate at about a 99% capacity all year round! So far this year they have had to turn away at least 50 families and set them up in hotels because there is just not enough room. And as the Edmonton hospitals continue to expand, becoming leading centres of excellence and attracting more amazing pediatric specialists, the needs for the house and it's services will too.

There are families that stay at the house for a few days, some a few weeks and some that are there for months at a time. It truly is a home for these families and one that tries very hard to maintain that sense of connection and homey-ness for everyone.

I was moved to tears that night on more than one occasion and for good reason.

There are two incredible rooms at the house that every kid gets to visit. The first is The Quilt Room. This room is wall to wall shelves of handmade and donated blankets and quilts that every child gets to visit when they first arrive at the house. They can choose any one they want, and it is theirs to keep, for comfort, for warmth, to remember or to forget and mainly just to cuddle up in. Every single one of these blankets is donated by local volunteers and quilting/sewing/knitting groups and it is amazing to see!

The other very special room is aptly named "The Magic Room"! And any room that looks like this when you first walk into it, just has to be magical....

Inside the Magic Room, through a special doorway is a room FULL of every kind of toy or game that a kid would want. 100% donated and 100% awesome! And every kid that has a successful surgery or course of treatment or is ending their stay at the house gets to go into the room and choose their very own special toy or game or trinket or whatever they want to celebrate this milestone! There are some pretty special stories that go along with this room, just ask any of the highly dedicated and amazing staff at the house and they will gladly share!

After our tour of the house we all had a chance to hang out and have a little mixer in the HUMOUNGOUS kitchen and dining area. Kristi asked us each to introduce ourselves, our businesses and why we decided to be a part of the Local4Local4Local project. We all come from diverse backgrounds and all had different reasons for being involved and it was so great to hear about who they all are and what being involved with this project means to them.

When it came to me, well, I could barely get 5 words out of my mouth before I started crying (this should not surprise some of you who know me). You see, I kind of know what it is like having a child in hospital. My oldest was a 3.5 pound preemie and spent just over 2 weeks in the Royal Alexandra Hospital NICU when he was born, and as his mommy, I spent just about the same amount of time there as well. I had family and friends nearby who fed us, who brought dinners to the hospital, who made sure that my husband and I had what we needed to keep ourselves going during this time. It was good to know that we had that support and that help was never far away. So for me, thinking of these families, and quite a few of them happen to be ones with NICU babies, and of them being far away from their circles of support and extended families for far more than a few weeks....well, it was just too much for my brain and my tear ducts to handle.

And THIS is also the very reason that I am involved with the Local4Local4Local project! No mother and no family should ever feel alone when their child is sick and if a home-cooked meal can help that feeling of helplessness even a little bit, then here I come, apron and oven mitts donned!

So hold on to your taste buds Ronald McDonald House families! I make a mean turkey meatball!! I am so looking forward to my Home for Dinner night with two of the other Local4Local4Local team members and then sitting down and enjoying dinner with the families and truly making this an experience that we will all remember and cherish!

Thank you once again to our fearless leader, the wonderful Kristi Hammond (@memoryandstory), and all the local Edmonton businesses, big and small, who are volunteering their time and efforts for this great project!

To find out more about Local4Local4Local please visit the new website, like the Facebook page and follow the twitter account. And to find out how you can get involved with the Ronald McDonald House here in Edmonton, please visit their website and follow them on Twitter too!

Natasha~

This post is part of the Summer Blog Challenge.

31 posts in 31 days.

Please take a moment and peruse the other participants entries as well!  Thank you!

Zita of Ignite Strategic Solutions Cliff of Peer Pressure Works Tammy of Tam I Am Peter of Crazy Wookie Cookies Shaun of Expedition of Truths Chad of The Daily Grind Vlad of Analog Coast Kim of Nature Baby Bloggings Liam of ln The Now Earl of My Name is Earl (J. Woods) Brad of Kick Me Out Soon

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family, kids, Life Lessons Learned Natasha Chiam family, kids, Life Lessons Learned Natasha Chiam

My daughter is a pretty smart Princess!

My 2.5 year old daughter is cute. Heck, she is down right beautiful actually. (She has that asian-caucasian mixology thing going on). And on a daily basis I am pretty sure I tell her how beautiful she is. But hold up....

She is also incredibly funny (ask her about her knock, knock joke!), intelligent, curious, and has the most amazing imagination of any two-year old I know. I am talking imaginary baby dragon friends and different voices for all the members in her doll house family. She also sat down at the (very rarely used) piano the other day, put both her hands up on it just like a pro and started to 'play'. And I don't mean the usual toddler bang on the keys play the piano, she actually played individual notes and it did not sound bad. She has a very artistic side to her that is just begging to be nurtured!

And in my mind all of these things add up and make her even more beautiful. Yes, I am her mother, so that bias does exist, but still, she is pretty darn incredible.

So when I read Lisa Bloom's article in The Huffington Post on 'How to talk to Little Girls', I was all over it. I have a daughter and I am somewhat of a feminist and damn straight you should talk to girls about their minds over their appearance!! I posted it all over Twitter and on my Facebook page and I am pretty sure that everyone who has a daughter re-tweeted and re-posted it too.

And then I started thinking about it a bit more....

It is really so bad to tell girls that they are beautiful?

Here's the thing. I never thought I would have a girl. Don't ask me why, I just thought I would have boys and was convinced for both my pregnancies that they were boys (I was right the first time!). And then L came along and with her, my life's ULTIMATE karmic twist.

At first I rejected all things girly.  I believe one of my first status updates on Facebook the first week that she was born was "I HATE PINK!"  I made an extra effort to find her clothes that were feminine, but NOT pink. She wore a lot of her older brother's hand-me-down baby sleepers and baby clothes and that was just fine with me.

I can pretty much pin-point the exact moment when L realized that she had her own sense of style and the days of me choosing her outfits were drawing near. That moment was the day of her first haircut. It was a tough milestone for me (as you can see from the picture!) and the (re) birth of Princess L.

EVERYONE complimented her on her new haircut, how cute she looked, how pretty she was and she just soaked it all in! And really, she did look adorable! It was right around this time as well, that she finally wanted and would let me put barrettes or clips in her hair. She called them her 'pretties' and the word has stuck and 'a pretty' is now the name for all hair accessories in our house.

At times I worry about this. I worry that she will associate having to wear something or have something in her hair to look pretty and then this will further translate to her feeling pretty. But then I realize that she is two years old and the clip or headband or whatever is in her hair for a grand total of about 20 minutes and then usually completely forgotten about as she goes about her day playing with her brother, reading her books, or creating more funny voices for all her little toys.

So what is my point with all of this? Do I agree with Ms. Bloom and her "don't talk to girls about their looks" stance? Granted, I have not yet read her book (it is ordered and on its way), but here are my thoughts on the whole argument.

I think that establishing a sense of self-esteem can not be done in a box. It really is about the whole child, male or female, and involves helping them to know themselves, have a strong sense of self-worth and know that they are valued and loved for their own uniqueness. And I believe that part of that includes how they look.

Lisa says in the article that "...teaching girls that their appearance is the first thing you notice tells them that looks are more important than anything....", but what she fails to say is that a person's appearance really IS the first thing you notice about someone. Maybe the fine art of accepting a true compliment from someone, is something that girls (of all ages) are lacking these days. Perhaps we need to work more on teaching them to say a polite and sincere thank you and then move on to more interesting topics like books or traveling or art or animals or whatever it is that they are passionate about! We need them to know that how they look is NOT the most important thing about them, but at the same time, I do think that it is unrealistic to not acknowledge it at all.

My daughter LOVES to dress up in her princess dresses. She has a trunk full of them in her room. She thinks she looks 'bootiful' in them, and frankly, she kinda does. And if I am wearing a dress that day, then I too am a 'bootiful' mommy (and yeah, it makes me feel good when she says it to me). And I am good with that because often we are taking our 'bootiful' selves out to the museum, or the park, or the grocery store or the library and really, who doesn't want to dress up like a princess some days AND go out and do all kinds of other cool things that enrich our minds too!!

I am pretty sure I am not going to stop telling my daughter how beautiful she is, and also how smart, how talented and how funny she is too!

Perhaps the solution is for all of us to truly redefine what beautiful really means....

...and teach this to our girls (and our boys too)!

What do you think?

Natasha~

 

 

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family, kids, motherhood, parenting Natasha Chiam family, kids, motherhood, parenting Natasha Chiam

Mama Metamorphosis

My kids are 4.5 years old and 2.5 years old. Both are my babies, but please DO NOT, under any circumstances, say that to them these days. C remembers being a baby and the things he used to do (nurse, sleep in the crib, be in a baby carrier) and they toys he used to play with, but he is firmly a BIG BOY now and is even concerned that his clothing size is the right number for him!!  L is just realizing that she is a "big girl" and she justifies all that she does now. "Mama, big girls nurse too. Mama, big girls go uppy in carriers too. Mama, I not a baby, I a BIG GIRL!!"

And I have just realized that although they will always be MY babies, they really are NOT little babies anymore and therefore...

....I can not be the 'baby' mama anymore.

It is time for me to grow up and graduate out of the baby stage and transition to this new (and rather scary) phase of parenthood.

For those you who have been following along with my posts you will know that a few months ago, Natural Urban Dad and I were in talks about having another child. Suffice it to say that we have come to a collective agreement and what is going to work for all of us is the status quo. Two kids, two adults, two hands....you do the math. It is what works for us and is what is going to keep us a strong family unit.

And all along the way, in all our talks and negotiations, the theme that kept recurring was one of all of us growing up. Our kids are growing up and contrary to what you would think this would mean, ie, more independence, less reliance on us for everyday tasks, etc., what I have noticed is that they actually NEED us even more right now and in a completely different way than before.

Take my son. He is a sensitive, inquisitive, smart cookie with a quirky personality (he gets that from me I guess ;)). He also seems to have the sharpest hearing in the history of four year-olds and if he hears something he does not quite understand, he will ask you about it and not quite asking until he gets it! This is a totally awesome occurrence. Except when you are not prepared for it.

Yesterday, as we were driving to my niece's 12th birthday party, C pipes up from the back seat of the car.

"Mama, is HATE a bad word?"

Me: "Uhm....... well......, what do you mean?"

"Hate. What does it mean?"

Me: looking over at Natural Urban Dad and mouthing, "Do you want to answer this?" and him staring off into space like he can't hear either of us.

So, as I rolled my eyes at the NUD at my side, I told C this, "Hate is a mean word that some people use when they really, really, REALLY do not like something. It is a word that can hurt people's feelings and one that is not very nice to use."

That seemed to satisfy him for the moment, but it is just one example of the many questions and thoughts that he is processing these days and often needs our help to sort out. Today we had a fun time over breakfast discussing what our emotions are and making the appropriate faces to go with them. Our conversations with C really have gone to a new level as of late and it is awesome and extremely scary at the same time!

And L at two and a half,  has suddenly become the "WHY" kid. Why Mama? Why you put make-up on? Why that lady have crutches? Why we going to swimming? Why? Why? Why? I love that she wants to know EVERYTHING, but OY, some days it is exhausting! And for some reason I just keep answering her multitude of questions and that just makes her ask why even more.....

My kids are also very sensitive with regards to their time with me lately and the whole work-life-parenting-and-being-an entrepreneur-thing is requiring some extra special juggling skills these days! I am working on it, but it is not easy. It is not easy to be saying over and over, "Mommy just has to send one more email and then we can go build your Lego castle/play outside/have a tea party/etc....". And for some reason, "Do you want to come and help Mommy work (ie, pack up orders) does not have the same appeal as it used too!

They just need more from me now on an emotional level and in a way that for some reason I was not fully prepared for. I am sure there are books out there that tell you all about this stage of parenthood (I swear I have a copy of Playful Parenting around here somewhere!), I just have not read them yet!

So, here I go.  Out of my cocoon of babyhood and into the great butterfly unknown of parenting my NOT-babies-anymore babies!!

My babies on the BIG KID swings!

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks :)

Natasha~

 

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family, kids, motherhood Natasha Chiam family, kids, motherhood Natasha Chiam

Happy Mother's Day!!

It has been a busy Mother's Day weekend around here. But in a good way. I got to spend time with the most important mothers in my life. My mother, my sister and my mother-in-law. My sister and mom and I toured some local greenhouses on Saturday and we had my in-laws over for brunch today.

My family let me have a fabulous 3.5 hour nap today (which probably explains why I am up writing at 12:42 AM!!) we had a great family walk after dinner and Natural Urban Dad and I topped off the day by watching a really nice movie tonight (Love and Other Drugs-I'll have more to say about this film in a later post).  All in all, it was just the perfect weekend.

I do have more that I want to say on the whole "Mother's Day" thing, but for now, and because I really should get to bed, here are a few highlights from my weekend.

I hope you all had a wonderful day doing whatever it is that makes you happy!

Hugs,

Natasha~

P.S. This week-long hiatus from the blog is DONE! Did you miss me??

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family, kids, motherhood Natasha Chiam family, kids, motherhood Natasha Chiam

One more for the road.

The other day I spontaneously started crying in my car on the way home from picking up my oldest from preschool. Why you ask?

Because I have recently come to the realization that I may actually want to have another child.

If you had asked me a year ago if I wanted more kids, I would have said, "No Way Jose! We are done. My next 'babies' are going to be the stunning and perky boobie kind that I get from a plastic surgeon!" And not only that, but my husband has always only wanted two children and we have one of each, so we are good. Right?

Wrong. Here I am, seriously LONGING for another child in our lives. I swear it is to the point that I can literally feel my ovaries popping out eggs every time I am near a baby or a pregnant woman. And in my line of work, that is quite often.

So I've been gingerly trying to bring up the topic with my husband for the past few weeks to gauge his receptiveness to this whole idea. I have dropped little hints every now and then about babies and being pregnant again and of course, being the man that he is, he has remained totally oblivious. So the other night I just said it outright to him.

"Honey, I think I want to have another kid."

And his response was, "WHAT? Are you serious? I thought we were done!!"

It was pretty much what I expected him to say. And then we had a long conversation about what that would mean for us and why he doesn't think it is the best idea. I listened to him and I know that all of his reasons for NOT having another child are good ones and make total sense.

  • We will be OUTNUMBERED! A scary thought in and of itself.
  • I have to go off of my Rheumatoid Arthritis meds and I have a history of high risk pregnancy.
  • I will be a 40 year old woman in 9 months and the risks of having a child with Down's Syndrome goes up rather exponentially at that age (1/75).
  • Where would we put the kid?? We are building a three bedroom house (I told him this one doesn't really fly-the kids can share rooms!)
  • He was just starting to look forward to 'getting me back'. I know this sounds terrible, but I see where he is coming from. I have been nursing for 4 years, we have been co-sleeping for most of that time as well, and we have not taken a couples only holiday since our first son was conceived in 2006.

He also said something to me that made me really think. He told me that I need to realize that motherhood is not just about being pregnant and breastfeeding and babywearing and all the "baby" stuff. Our kids need me in a different way now and I need to be able to grow-up as a mother, just as much as they are growing up and into little people. (Damn him and his logical, I am making too much sense, brain!)

And when he asked me WHY I felt the need to have another child, all I really had for him was that I just did. I can't explain it rationally, and no, it really does not make a whole lot of sense, but I just FEEL like I am not done yet. And I did not have these feelings a year ago, or even six months ago, but something has changed and it is a deep down gut feeling that we are supposed to do this.

We have not come to a decision just yet. I have asked him that we keep the discussion open and on the table. And he has agreed to that. He really is a good man.

All I can say is that right now I feel like sparklers are shooting out of my pelvic region a la Katy Perry in her Fireworks video every time I am anywhere remotely close to a baby or pregnant mama.

Just stand back a bit....

Natasha~

 

 

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