A letter to my daughter.

My dearest L, We've started talking about it.

About you growing up and getting to be a big girl now.

I see you taking so many steps and leaps into life that only a few short months ago, I know would have been impossible for you to navigate.

Today, I dropped you off for your first ever day of summer camp and I was SO worried. I was worried that you would not want to participate. That you would not let me leave you there with your camp leaders for the few hours of fun and learning.

But I was wrong.

You put that bike helmet on, told your Bike Camp instructor your name and with a big smile and a wave back at me, took off with the rest of the kids.

I stuck around for a bit, just to make sure you settled in OK {and to be honest, more for my peace of mind than yours}. But there was really no need, because you my girl, ROCKED IT!

And I am so proud of you.

We have also started talking about you going to preschool in the Fall and how when that happens and because you will be such a big girl then...

...that we are going to stop nursing.

And I know that you my beautiful girl will likely be far more OK with this decision and transition than me, the grown up. For you it is another milestone. A stepping stone on your amazing flower strewn path of life and a beginning of a new phase of self-discovery. For me it is going to be something a little different.

It is an end of something for Mommy. Something that has meant more to me than I ever, in my wildest dreams, could have imagined it would mean. And I may be a bit sad about it.

But I know in my heart that it is time. It is time that we both take those big girl steps and grow up a bit. You into the super-girl preschooler that I know you are going to be and me into the mama of two KIDS and no longer the mama of babies.

I hope that one day we can both look back on these days fondly. That you will remember nursing and how it made you feel. How you liked to snuggle into me, take a deep inhale and say that I smelled like boobie-breasts - your sly little hint that you wanted to nurse.

I want you to know that this experience with first your big brother and then you, has shaped me in more ways that you can imagine.

Nursing you has made me a more patient mama. A more present mama. And a more pragmatic mama too. YOU made me just BE in a way that I wasn't doing before you. And I am not sure I can ever thank you properly for that.

I see so much of myself in you my girl. We look similar, we have similar mannerisms, and yet, there you are, your own little person. Your creative spirit, your sillyness, the way you thank me every night without prompting for "making a delicious dinner" and for the way you hold my hand so tightly when we are out and about.

There are so many things about you that make my heart swell and I know that this is a list that is just going to keep on growing as you do too.

And although you are leaving the realms of baby and toddler-hood behind and taking me with you, know this my child...

You will always be my beautiful baby girl!

Love you forever and ever and ever,

Mommy~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is my Day 6 post for the Summer Blog Challenge. Yes, yes I know.. it's a day late.

Please visit my fellow bloggers and Psst... we all REALLY enjoy your comments!

Zita at The Dulock Diaries.

Meaghan at MagzD Life

April at This Mom’s Got Something to Say

Aramelle at One Wheeler’s World

 Jessica at 2plus2X2

and Liam at In the Now

Crap, this is harder than I remember...

I am sorry everyone. I am tired. I have a stupendous mother of a headache.

And I just can't get my mind to think straight tonight.

I don't remember this blogging for a month thing being so hard last time I did it.

I have a ton of great blog post ideas, really I do.

But once I get here, the words are just not coming out the way I want them to. (I have punted two posts already tonight.)

This CHALLENGE that I started is proving to be very, ummm... challenging!

NO! I am not giving up...

...but I am crapping out on you tonight with this as my post!

I need to clear my head. Go to bed before midnight and start fresh tomorrow.

Good night all.

This is me fooling around with Photobooth.

See, even when I am all 'thermal camera'd' I look tired!

Sleep tight,

Natasha~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is my {crap out} of a post for Day 5 of the Summer Blog Challenge {31 Posts in 31 Days}

Please visit the other fabulous bloggers who are doing so much better at this than I am...

Zita at The Dulock Diaries.

Meaghan at MagzD Life

April at This Mom’s Got Something to Say

Aramelle at One Wheeler’s World

And please give a warm welcome to our late comer to the party, the fabulous Jessica at 2plus2X2!

Nothing in life is ever really 'FREE'

I am confused. And I don't want to add fuel to the fire of the ridiculous and never ending how you feed your baby Mommy Wars, but I am serious. I am really confused.

New Your City has a new initiative called "Latch On NYC". It is aimed at promoting breastfeeding in the city's many hospitals. In order to do this, the plan is to limit access to "free" formula samples and any advertising and marketing materials from the formula companies that are distributed to new mothers and their babies in the first few hours and days after birth.

And there is a lot of hulabaloo about it all over the interwebs this week. Especially because it is World Breastfeeding Week.

A lot of people are quite upset about it and like in this article from Cafe Mom think that this is removing a woman's choice in how she feeds her baby (it is NOT). Some media outlets are sensationalizing their headlines and falsely interpreting it as a BAN on formula in hospitals (again, it is NOT). Some are using all those ugly words again, like bullying, breastapo, etc.... to describe the initiative and the counselling that mothers will (and should always) receive about breastfeeding while still in hospital.

The source of my confusion in all of this goes back to my first paragraph. You see those airquotes around the word FREE?

Yeah, that.

You know that old saying that if it something seems to good to be true, it usually is? I think this applies here.

Because in the long run, there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING  "free" about the formula samples that are given to new moms in hospital. NOT. ONE. DAMN. THING.

Here is just a short list of what is the COST of these freebies:

1. The average cost to formula feed an infant for the first year of life is in the range of $1350.00 to $2160.00 and can be as high as $5000.00 if the child needs a specialty formula. NOT FREE.

2. Research PROVES that giving formula in the first few hours and days after birth can significantly compromise the breastfeeding relationship between mom and baby. No more breastfeeding = more formula = NOT FREE.

3. On most cities Food Bank MOST NEEDED ITEMS List you will ALWAYS see Baby Formula. And this one really gets to me. So often it is the lower income families that seem to get the least amount of support and information about breastfeeding. They leave the hospital with samples of the most expensive brands of formula and then can't afford it on their own! DEFINITELY NOT FREE.

4. The public health and economic savings that could be had with more breastfeeding versus formula feeding are well documented as well. For most working parents (especially in countries with no paid maternity leave), babies who are sick more = parents who have to take time off of work = lost wages = NOT FREE.

5. The only thing that IS free here is the free advertising and marketing that the formula companies are getting from hospitals and health care workers. This is a quote from Dr. Laura Sinai, from the American Association of Pediatrics 2012 Leadership Forum taken from the ammendment to divest from formula marketing in pediatric care.

"There is no “gift” in a “gift bag” except that  from the healthcare system applying a seal of approval to the formula manufacturer without compensation. Research reveals that when a health care provider distributes a formula manufacturer’s goods, the recipient interprets that action to indicate that formula feeding is superior to breastfeeding and that the brand distributed is superior to the alternatives."

So Mamas, here is my request.

Before you believe all the hype and crying foul about New York's new breasfeeding initiative, lets really examine who is getting what for FREE here and see this initiative for what it has the potential to be. A really good step in the right direction for moms and babies everywhere!

OK?

Thanks,

Natasha~

P.S. If you would like a bit more perspective on this issue, I highly recommend that you read AskMoxie's post and also Dr. Jay Gordon's guest post from Susan Berger, IBCLC on the Huffington Post.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is the Day 4 post for the Summer Blog Challenge {31 posts in 31 Days}.

Check out these great posts from our other participants too!

Zita at The Dulock Diaries.

Meaghan at MagzD Life

April at This Mom's Got Something to Say

and Aramelle at One Wheeler's World

World Breastfeeding Week: Reason #576...

...that {extended} breastfeeding works for us.

Instant comfort for little Miss L after her first wipeout on her new bike.

Before:

After:

It is always more than just food.

Especially now.

To find out more about World Breastfeeding Week 2012, please check out the site HERE.

Now what about you? How has breastfeeding made parenting easier for you {and your babies}?

Natasha~

--------------------

This is Day Three of the #31Days of Summer Blogging, AKA the Summer Blog Challenge. 

Check out the contributions of our other participants today.

April starts her alphabet-inspired posts over at This Mom's Got Something to Say.

Meaghan is the daughter of a cop... and is thankful for the job they all do for US at  MagzD Life.

Zita is probably still writing... check her post out soon at The Dulock Diaries.

And Liam is trying to recruit more suckas to do this crazy challenge!!

Learning to ride and learning to let go

After your first day of cycling, one dream is inevitable.A memory of motion lingers in the muscles of your legs, and round and round they seem to go. You ride through Dreamland on wonderful dream bicycles that change and grow. ~ H.G. Wells The Wheels of Chance

My son learned to ride his bike a few weeks ago.

And neither his father nor I had very much to do with it.

I enrolled Little C in the Pedalheads Bike Camp and after seeing the results of this week long, 2.5 hours a day camp program, I know that it was the best thing for all of us.

For one thing, they took the training wheels of his bike on the first day! (I know for a fact that I wouldn't have done that for a long time because I would have been the one afraid to, not him!)

By the second day, he was riding about 10-15 feet on his own and at the end of the week, all he needed was a little bit of a push and off he went riding at least a block.

Every day he would come home and was just so proud of himself and also a bit "Meh, no biggie mom, just ridin' my bike."

And every day, I wondered if I was missing out somehow on this milestone in my child's life. Wondering if it should be me or his dad doing the teaching.

Then I would remember myself and my son and our personalities and know that there is no way that I would have been able to have the patience to do it and that we would have just ended up frustrated with each other and someone would very likely be in tears at the end of it (me!).

I think this is simply one more lesson I am learning as a parent.

Know thy limits.

I could have spent hours all summer trying to teach my son to ride and I know that it would not have been fun for either of us. Instead I chose to send him to bike camp, to learn with his peers, to be pushed without the pressure of Mommy or Daddy hovering over him and to be so proud of something that he accomplished on his own!

In fact, he had so much fun and I was so impressed by the program, that I am enrolling both him and his sister in one more week before the summer is out!

Every single day I learn more and more about this parenting gig. I see around me the kind of parent I want to be and I also see the kind of parent I don't want to be.

I don't want to be that parent that pushes my kid so hard that every lesson ends in tears. I want him to want to do the activities that make him happy (not me) and I want him to feel a sense of accomplishment doing them.  I also don't want to be the parent that is overly present and always there to pick up the pieces. And this may be a lesson for further on down the road, but I don't want to raise an entitled little shit who knows that mommy and daddy are always gonna bail him out of whatever mess or mistake or hiccup he faces in life. I want him to learn to pick himself up and learn from his mistakes and do better the next time around.

I DO want to be the kind of parent that instills a sense of work ethic in my children. And by work ethic, I mean, you get what you give. Give something your best shot, try your hardest and you will get the rewards. Often that reward is just the smug self-satisfaction of knowing that you did that something... ALL. BY. YOURSELF! Trust me, for a five and a half year old, this is BIG! And for my little perfectionist (sheesh is he ever his father's kid!) this is GINORMOUS!!

So next week, there I will be once again, the mom on the sidelines, drinking my grande soy latte and watching someone else teach my kids the finer points of balance, brakes and biking like a pro! And I am good with that.

I am learning what it is that I am good at as a parent and THIS, is just not one of those things.

It's called delegating people! Don't hesitate to do it... even as a parent!

See you on the bike trails!

Natasha~

--------------------

This post is Day TWO of the Summer Blog Challenge.

Check out these other posts from my friends joining in on the fun.

Zita gets very personal and has some news over at The Dulock Diaries

Meaghan has a confession and a colourful addiction at MagzD Life

April gives us the low down on her "new" parenting method at This Mom's Got Something to Say.

and Liam's BS meter went off the charts over at In the Now.

I'm Sexy and I know it....

I have big boobs. It's true.

They kinda popped out the summer between Grade 8 and Grade 9. Like REALLY popped out!

And boys, men and some women too have been staring at them, talking about them, and trying to {and the privileged few getting to} touch them ever since!

I have know of the power of my boobs for a long time and yes, I was and am kind of obsessed with them. {Seriously, ask my friends, I really do love my girls!}

I spare no expense when it comes to housing them in the finest European bras (the ones that actually fit a gal with a 32 E bra size) and I highly recommend that all women go and get a proper bra fitting and a proper bra (I thought I was a 36 C before that!). None of this, buy 2 get 1 free {insert mall lingerie store here} cheap lingerie for my mammaries. ONLY the BEST!

I have always known the power of sexy that my breasts possessed, but I had no idea of their true powers until I birthed my first child. These two amazing appendages MAKE MILK! Amazing, nurturing, nourishing milk for my child!! And man, did he need it. At a mere 3 pounds 13 ounces he was a skinny little monkey. And my boobs? Well, they where easily twice the size of his tiny little jaundiced head!

See!

Breastfeeding a preemie is hard work. Heck, breastfeeding any baby is hard work. And it became abundantly clear very quickly that the sexy that I was feeling about my breasts a mere 9 months before this moment, while lounging on the beaches of St. Lucia (where said preemie child was conceived), was quickly replaced by wanting them to feel comfortable, not chafed or cracked or bleeding or thrush-ridden or plugged or all the other things that happened to me and my girls once we wholeheartedly embarked on this breastfeeding journey.

For a while, sexy left me. I wore the most basic of nursing bras and tank tops and focused all that I could on this little baby boy and making sure that my breasts and I were doing what we should and could to help him grow and thrive.

Around the 6-month mark, we finally got into our breastfeeding groove and had a good thing going on. Little C had grown enough so that boob and baby head were about equal in size and we found a position and a way to breastfeed that made us both happy. (Side-lying FTW!) It was around this time as well, that I started to lose more of my baby-weight and needed to update my wardrobe a bit.

And then... sexy started to creep back into my life. I was still fully committed to this breastfeeding gig, but now I wanted pretty nursing bras and matching undies. I wanted nursing tops that were not just over-sized t-shirts with a not so well-concealed or flattering boob flap or cut-out.  The search was on. I managed to find a few brands that I fell in love with and proceeded to buy a bra or top in every color or style that they had (Big shout out here to BOOB nursing wear and the amazing selection of nursing bras that they have at Milkface.com.) Having a nice nursing wardrobe serves two purposes in my mind. Number one, it makes a mama feel good about herself and the way she looks. And two, it makes it a lot easier to just keep on nursing for the long haul.

At this point you may be asking yourself, "Why is Natasha going on and on about her boobs again? And what is with all this 'feeling/looking sexy' talk?"  Well, it has recently come to my attention (HA! Insert sarcasm font here) that SEXY and BREASTFEEDING are two words that when placed together in a sentence (or a thought) make a lot of people VERY uncomfortable!

Case in point, THIS amazing photo.

Taken by a very talented Russian photographer, this image captures a wonderful breastfeeding moment with a beautiful and dare I say sexy Mama and her cute little chubster of a baby. Is it an art piece? Yes. Is it 'real life'? No, not for the majority of us. It is a photo shoot. Just like those newborn babies wrapped up in gauze and placed in a bowl pictures are not "real life"... this to me follows along those same lines. It is a shot taken to be shared or cherished of a time in their lives that was special and beautiful. End of story.

Or not...

There has been some talk over the interwebs that photos like this one, of an obviously very attractive woman nursing a child (and perhaps in a posed and not a "natural" position) only serves to perpetuate society's obsession with the 'sexualization' of breastfeeding. Just take the Time Magazine cover shot with the lovely, tall and gorgeous Jamie Lynn Grumet. Would the reaction to that particular cover photo been as dramatic, had the image they printed been one of what more people would associate with all us "crazy hippie"  attachment parents?  A barefooted, cross-legged sitting, hemp-skirt-wearing, no make-up, hair in a long braid (or better yet, in dreads) breastfeeding earth mother!!??

I just don't know...

What I do know is this. I LIKE to feel sexy.

Nothing gets me out of a frumpy, dumpy mood like having a shower, putting on my favourite {nursing} bra and matching undies and wearing something that really makes me feel and yes, even look sexy! And while I am out and about looking and feeling all sexy, chances are my daughter is going to want to nurse at some point. And wherever and whenever, I will nurse her. And perhaps because I am looking so fine, someone is gonna glance over and see me and think, "Damn that is one fine mama...oh, wait... What?? Is she nursing that baby? WTF? OMG!"

It really is a bit of a mind-fuck if you think about it.

And it has NOTHING whatsoever to do with the mother, the baby or the breastfeeding and EVERYTHING to do with the observer, or in the case of photos on the internet or on blog posts or on magazine covers, the reader.

It is a juxtaposition of two seemingly conflicting ideals that society holds.

That of the WOMAN and that of the MOTHER.

If you see a beautiful woman, your mind thinks a certain way. If you see a mother, your mind thinks a different way. (I am no student of psychology, but I am sure Freud or Jung or one of those guys had a lot to say about this whole topic!)

And herein lies the crux of the matter.

Mothers ARE women! Women ARE mothers. They are one and the same. They are beautiful, sexy, hot, smart, sassy, intelligent human beings. They are also caring, nurturing, loving, tender and protective beings.

They... WE, are all these things and then some. Just because someone can't wrap their head around the fact that a mom can be or look sexy or sultry or what have you AND be the mother that her child needs (and in this case and a lot of cases, a breastfeeding mother) is just a very sad state of affairs.

And it all really just comes right back to the boobs.

And yes, yes, we hear over and over again the same rhetoric, "Breasts are made for feeding babies." My question to everyone then is this? Have we forgotten that those same breasts probably had a lot to do with all that...ahem... fun stuff that was done to actually MAKE all these little nurslings?

Let's be real Mamas. Breasts are sexy!  YOU are sexy! And your breasts, well they make milk too! And sometimes you are a sexy mama feeding your baby with your breasts!

Nothing wrong with that!

Cheers and chest bumps Mamas and Happy first day of WORLD BREASTFEEDING WEEK!!

Natasha~

I'll  leave you with my favourite cover of LMFAO's 'I'm Sexy and I know it.'

Enjoy!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vsvlsuLau5c[/youtube]

--------------------

Today's post is Day ONE of my Summer Blog Challenge!

31 Days of posts coming your way this month!

And I have convinced at least one of my friends to join me.

Check out Meaghan's first post today at MagzD Life.

UPDATE at 10:30 PM:

Three more lovely bloggers are joining in on the fun!

Check out April's Day One post over at This Mom's Got Something to Say,

Liam's post over at In The Now,

and Zita's post on her blog, The Dulock Diaries.

Getting my groove back...

After almost two weeks of being blacklisted by the Googles, and not being able to post anything, I made a decision to switch hosting companies. Good-bye old host, hello BlueHost! Everything seems to be running smoothly and again I have to give props and a big THANK YOU to the awesome Karen Parker, @jkparker for those of you on the TweetyBox, for helping me get everything moved over smoothly and without any major blips throughout the process. Now, I have to regain the love and confidence of the Google gods and of you my dear readers!

So this is a short post to let you know that I just got back yesterday from my first time ever on Vancouver Island. I have downloaded the almost 700 pictures from our trip and will write my "what I did on my summer vacation" post very, very soon! Seriously, I am pretty sure Travel BC is gonna love me for this one!

And along with that post will be at least 30 more...

Yes, you heard me.

I am doing it again.

A Thirty {One} Day Summer Blog Challenge.

I am going to start on August 1st and post once a day until the end of the month (yes, I know that part should be pretty self-explanatory).

Now... if any of my blogging buddies want in on the action, we can make this an official challenge and link up all our posts. You just let me know if you are in and we'll figure out the rest from there.

(And PS everyone, let's not tell Natural Urban Dad about this just yet OK? For some reason he gets all antsy when I do these challenges.)

I leave you tonight with a little teaser from our holidays...

...while I go off to catch up on some So You Think You Can Dance and True Blood.

And make a list of blog post topics. OY!

{Suggestions will be accepted and are MUCH appreciated!}

Ciao bellas and bambinos,

Natasha~

The Virgin Garden

This week I decided it was time to go all the way. I mean, I have waited 40 years, I weighed all the pros and cons and I was pretty sure I was mentally ready to handle the consequences.

So I had a long shower, cleaned myself up real nice, put on a pretty pink dress and off I went to get my flower plucked.

The setting was perfect.

A beautiful, tranquil place, filled with lots of nice sounds and smells. All of it intended to relax me and help put me in the mood.

I had a drink and I washed my face with a cool cloth.

I took off my clothes and folded them in a neat pile on the chair and laid down on the bed.

I was ready.

And then I heard these ominous words...

"Let's see what we are dealing with here."

And the covers where pulled back.....

.

.

,

I am of course talking about hair removal.

Specifically, hair removal, to quote the much maligned heroine of a certain smuterotica best seller, "down there".

I have been thinking about it for a while and since we are going on holidays soon, I thought it would be a good idea to get it done now and not have to worry about any errant fly aways peaking {or poking} out of my bathing suit while I was lying languorously on a beach chair reading yet more smuterotica or frolicking in the ocean. (Because that is what you do on your family vacations too, right?)

My bestie went to see a woman before her last tropical vacay and had the whole shebang done and she highly recommended both this particular esthetician and the process itself.

I trust my friend and so I called and made an appointment to get all of my hairy parts 'sugared'.

Yup, you heard right. Sugared, NOT waxed.

I have always had my brows waxed in the past and have even done my legs a few times, but have never been a huge fan of the practice. For one thing, most waxes are made from resins and can include lots of chemicals, dyes and preservatives in them. With sugaring the components are sugar, lemon juice, water and sometimes essential oils. From a ingredient perspective alone it is a more natural choice for a hair removal process.

Sugaring is also more gentle on your skin. It is applied lukewarm to your skin, the sugar paste surrounds the hairs and is removed in the same direction that the hair is growing. This is easier on your skin and since the sugar itself only attaches to dead skin cells and not  your actual skin, you do not run the risk of taking off any skin along with the hair, which can happen with waxing and instead you get a nice exfoliation as an added bonus to the process.

Susan, my trusty hair removal expert at Temple of Beauty Day Spa knew I was a virgin coming in to this and she promised to gently ease me into her world.

She started with my brows, a spot I am used to having waxed and I thought to myself, "This isn't bad at all. MUCH less sting than waxing. Cool, I can totally handle this."

Then she moved to my armpits. And WOWZA! Scratch that earlier thought! I am not sure if it is because of all the lymph nodes under there, or just because it is a rather protected area of skin that doesn't get a lot of 'weathering' per se, but holy Hannah, THAT shit was painful. While the sugar itself is a more gentle and natural solution for my skin, the plain fact remained that the tiny hairs on my body where being ripped out en masse. The lovely Susan told me that she was assessing my pain tolerance while sugaring under my arms to decide how much I would be able to handle in my nether regions! It wasn't looking very promising.

Next up. My lower legs. These I have also had waxed before, so I knew what to expect and it was really not bad. Except around the ankles. That was like little red ants biting me because I danced a jig on their home in the ground. VERY ouchy!

The good news is that unlike with waxing where you have a lingering pain and sometimes an intense throbbing (and possible skin removal), once the sugar is removed, there is no more pain or tenderness. Just smoothy, smoothiness. {Those are words, really, they are!}

With my legs all done, it was now back up to the ummm, middle.

I had three choices here. The classic, the skinny or the brazilian!

Within five seconds I knew it was NOT going to be the full shebang. But being the pro that she is, Susan just kept on going. She kept reminding me to concentrate on my breathing and kept trying to take my focus away from the sweet sting of what was happening by talking to me about anything and everything else. My kids, my vacation, her kids, the weather.... and various horror stories about her first forays into doing full brazilians 12 years ago.

It was not unlike what my doulas did for me while giving birth to my children. Except of course for the 'name that rash on a strangers vagina' stories. That was different.  And this time around, Susan was helping me give birth to a new silky smooth me.

I managed to make it all the way to the skinny bikini and had to call it quits. And I don't know about any of you who have had this kind of follicular maintenance stuff done before, but I found the {ahem}, upper lawn portion more painful to landscape than the... uh, lower hedges. Maybe that is just me...

In the end, and after all the toe curling and heavy breathing I have to say that I am very happy that I finally did "IT". I will very likely go back to Susan for some more routine care and upkeep of my lovely and well-groomed garden.  Within minutes of her being done, aka, me begging her to stop, there was no more sting and just the results I was hoping for. {Smoothy, smoothiness in case you forgot.}

And really, how many girls can say that of their first time!!

Happy Friday the 13th Mamas!!

Natasha~