These are a few of my favourite things... Day ONE: Stella & Dot!
Oh Stella & Dot! How I love you so! This incredible line of jewelry has made me want to actually wear jewelry again. It is timeless and classic and yet trendy and fashion forward all at once. There is literally something for everyone, including the little girls in your life. (PLEASE check out the Stella & Dot Girls line--it is so adorable and any one of the pieces would make an amazing stocking stuffer or Christmas gift!) I have always been a big accessories kind of gal and the designers and stylists at Stella & Dot make it so easy for everyone! I just had a Stella & Dot Trunk Show a few weeks ago and I managed to get myself a nice early Christmas present out of it. I now have these incredible stacking bracelets and I got them all for FREE as part of my hostess rewards!
My best friend Janine Weber is my local stylist and has made quite a name for herself in the Stella & Dot world (she just came back from a trip to Cabo last month!!) and here is what she has to say about Stella & Dot.
Stella & Dot gives every woman the means to style her own life. We have a vision of the world where strong women live bold and joyful lives. They know what they want and they work for it. They inspire each other. Passion and joy are their best accessories. Of course, our gorgeous jewelry is their next-best accessory! As a Stella & Dot Stylist I am helping women find the means to style their lives, either by starting their own business, by hosting trunk shows, or by purchasing something that makes them (or someone else) feel great! Our trunk shows are simple and fun. Invite some friends, open some sparkly drinks, share style tips, gab. Try on all the jewelry you want. As a trained Stylist I provide personal service and, of course, no pressure. And as the lucky hostess, you earn $100s in free jewelry for enjoying an evening with friends. How fun is that? Contact me to learn more.
What is more likely to be on your mind at this time of year is that holiday shopping list of yours! Let me save you from circling a parking lot and fighting the crowds. Shop from the comfort of your home. Our jewelry all comes in irresistible packaging, just waiting to be gifted. Contact me for a Look Book or check it out online at www.stelladot.com/janine. When you're ready to order, call or email me and I will place the order with the discount. We have an awesome Style for a Steal sale section right now too!
Janine has been ever so generous and is offering all of my readers and followers the following:
Make sure to send this link over to your husband or boyfriend or mother or whomever needs it, with your wish list of course, and get what you want and deserve under the tree this year!!
More great local shopping coming your way, check back everyday for more of my favourite things~
Natasha~
30 Days of Truth - Day FIVE: Something I hope to do in my life
I am having a hard time with this one. Not because I can't think of things that I would like to do (sail the Mediterranean Sea, walk the Academy Awards Red Carpet, visit the Pyramids of Giza, star in my own hit sitcom), but because I have done some amazing things in my life already. I really have had and do have a wonderful life.
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| I love that he is "kissing" her head! And yes, we were this close! |
I have traveled to some amazing places and had incredible experiences. I have seen the wildebeests in the Serengeti, watched lions mate in Ngorongoro Crater, eaten fresh fish from the fishermen on Zanzibar, tasted 'real' tequila on the Mayan Riviera, witnessed a mama humpback whale nursing her calf in the waters off Maui and zip-lined through a rain forest on St. Lucia.
I moved out of my parents house at 18 and put myself through school, I have a Bachelor of Science degree in Medical Laboratory Science (you may not be able to tell, but I am a total lab geek!). I have had major surgery three times in my life and have metal hips (I am SO not traveling to the US anytime soon!!). I've worked in retail and in the health care world and eventually found myself in a fabulous career as a pharmaceutical sales representative.
I met and married the man of my dreams. It took me a while and I had to try on a lot of 'shoes' before I found the one that fits, but it was worth all the heartache to find this one PERFECT fit! We had the most perfect wedding EVER, and we work hard everyday to have a healthy marriage that will last as long as we do.
I have felt the incredible joy and thrill (and accompanying terror) of growing not just one but two human beings in my body. I have seen what my body was meant to do and have been humbled by the awesomeness of giving birth to these two amazing creatures. I have nourished them with my body, nurtured them with my heart and soul and get to have the immense privilege of watching them everyday growing into even more amazing individuals.I am my own Boss!! How great is that (OK, well sometimes it is not so great), but I am master of my own destiny, my successes and my failures. I love being an entrepreneur and the highs and the lows that that brings. One of my favourite books is Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged and it encompasses a lot of my philosophies in business and that you get what you put in to it. I also firmly believe that nothing happens in this world until someone sells you something (think about that for a minute....). And so I own a retail business dedicated to what I love the most - BABIES!!
So what more do I hope to do in this life? I hope to be around long enough to see my kids grow up and start their own adult lives. I hope to be a grandma one day. I hope to take a trip with my husband somewhere REALLY exotic and do things that are way out of the realm of our day-to-day lives. I hope to be wildly successful at whatever I am doing (but who doesn't right?) and I hope that my writing continues to improve and that perhaps this blog is a new door to even more exciting things for me.
And I really hope that you all are enjoying all of this!!
Muah, Natasha~
What are your hopes for the future? What do you really hope to do in this life? Please share!
30 Days of Truth - Day FOUR: Something I have to forgive someone for.
My kids are lucky. I am lucky. They have an amazing father and I have a wonderful husband. And I am sometimes confused about how this happened. They say that girls often marry men that remind them of their fathers. That may be true, but I did not HAVE a father in my life, so how on earth did I end up with such a fabulous guy??
My mom left my dad when I was seven years old. My mom and grandmother packed up the house, and all four of us kids and we essentially did a fly by night and were out of the house in one day. I was the oldest and so I think of all of us, I was the only one who really knew what was going on. Although to this day, I have yet to get a really good reason as to why she left him. I think a lot of it had to do with my very controlling grandmother, her dislike of all men in general and my mother's need to always please her mother and do everything her way.
So one day I had a dad and the next I did not. I know we must have had our 'dad' time with him after they were separated, but I don't remember much of it. I do remember the day I decided never to speak to him ever again. I was twelve years old, we were in his truck, I must have been fighting with my brothers, because all I remember is him grabbing my hair at the back of my head and pulling it (in what was probably frustration at dealing with 3 out of 4 kids on his own). There were most likely words exchanged, but 26 years later, I can't remember what they were. What I do know is that THAT day was the last time I considered him my dad.
My mom did a great job raising four kids as a single parent. She had help from my grandmother and some amazing family friends and even though we struggled through more years than I care to remember, we all turned out pretty darn well. And all through those years, my father never made contact with me, never paid my mother a cent in child support, remarried a month after their divorce was finalized and then had a new family to call his own.
My siblings somehow managed to maintain a relationship with him and my brother Desmond even went to live with him for a few months when he was about 12 years old. My dad was a rancher and so was my brother (even at such a young age, he always knew who he was) and they were close. I think I was jealous of their bond, but I still could not forgive my father for what he did and also for what he did NOT do for us and for my mom.
The next time that I spoke to my father was the day of Desmond's funeral in August of 1993. And even on that day, we barely had more than a few words to say to each other. It had been more than 10 years and the man in front of me that day may have been Desmond's dad, but he was a stranger to me. He gave me a card that day, which, when I think back, may have been his way of trying to reach out to me. I did not respond.
Fast forward another 10 years and I was getting married. Ben and I had a rule for invitees to the wedding. You had to have had a significant impact on our lives, either together or apart, to be invited and because he had never even tried to know me as a kid or an adult, I saw no reason to invite my father to celebrate this day with us.
Another three years passed and then we had our first child. Having kids makes one re-evaluate everything in your life and I was no exception. I want my kids to know who and where they come from and I have tried to open up a dialogue with my father (with the help of my sister, who has somehow over the years developed a healthy relationship with him). I have sent him emails and photos of the kids. He has met my son once and has yet to meet my daughter. He sends Christmas presents every year, but that is about it. I think that a relationship with my father or for my kids with their grandfather is just not in the cards for us.
And I think that I am OK with that. I know now that the break up of my parents marriage had more to do with my grandmother than with them (how sad it that?). I blamed him for years for not supporting us, for going off and getting a new family and supporting THEM. I told myself that I was the KID, why did I have to make the first move--he was the PARENT for goodness sakes!
But here is the thing. I turned out OK, so did my brother and sister. My mom is remarried and just celebrated her 20th anniversary with my step-dad. And despite my lack of a 'father-figure' growing up, I married an amazing man, who is also the most incredible father to our kids.
I don't know why my father was not up to being my dad, and I don't think I will ever get the answer I want or need. I will just have to let it go, forgive him for his short comings as MY dad and be thankful that he at least found a way to be one for my sister. I will never have that special father-daughter relationship, but I do get the next best thing and that is to see that relationship through my daughter's eyes with the most special man in both of our lives!
Love and forgiveness all around, Natasha~
30 Days of Truth - Day Three: Something I have to forgive myself for.
I have been pondering this post for a few days now and writing it and re-writing it in my head. You are probably wondering, why? What is so hard about this one, well trust me-these are all kind of hard... The truth is HARD. Hard to admit and often times very hard to face.
Here is some background that you are going to need. My almost 4 year old son and I are having 'issues'. I am sure it is all related to the fact that, a) He is 4 years old and stubborn and bossy and, b) I am 38 years old and stubborn and bossy. Ah, yes, it is very apparent at times like this that he is indeed my son. He does not like being told what to do, even if the very thing he is being told to do is exactly what he NEEDS to do at that moment (think pee, eat, sleep).
Then you add me and my flaws and well, it can get messy. I am not a patient person. I like things done when I ask and that is that. Repeating myself over and over and over and over and over and over and.....(are you getting the picture?), well that just drives me completely insane.
So along comes Monday morning this week and wow, it was a doozie! First, he did not want to get out of bed, then it was a fight to get him to go pee and then IT happened. Somehow he has it in his head that if he does not touch the toilet while he is peeing, then he does not need to wash his hands. This is NOT the rule in our house. The rule is, you go to the bathroom, you wash your hands-END OF STORY!! Always has been and always will.
He refused to wash his hands, I insisted, he refused, I reiterated the RULE, he refused again and again and again. At which point I LOST IT!! There I was repeating myself over and over, like some modern version of Joan Crawford in Mommy Dearest, "Wash your hands, wash your hands, wash your hands, WASH YOUR HANDS!!!"
....and then I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and lost it on a whole other level. What I saw in that mirror was not pretty. I saw this ugly, red-faced, crazy woman SCREAMING at her child, who was cringing and afraid (and I don't blame him, because I scared myself too.) I immediately left the room, went and sat down and proceeded to bawl my freakin' eyes out.
I kept thinking in my head, what am I doing? What kind of image and message is this sending to my kid? Am I scarring him forever? What is MY problem? Why can't I figure out a better way to communicate with him? And so I cried, I gave in, I just let those rough waves of motherhood wash over me, pull me under and make me feel like giving up. My husband came in to check on me at that point and I said the words, "I can't do this anymore." I am not sure exactly what I meant, but I was DONE at that very moment. No more mama juice, out of gas, next station 225 miles from here!!
But of course that can't happen. So I picked myself up, revved my mama engine on the fumes that I had left and headed out to have breakfast with everyone. By this point I was all nice and puffy-eyed and sniffling from all the sobbing and not one to let anything slip, DS looks at me, big eyes and a big smile on his face and says:
"Mommy, are you crying? Why are you crying?"
LIKE THE LAST 15 MINUTES DID NOT JUST HAPPEN!!
Seriously, he was genuinely oblivious as to why I was upset and was obviously not in the least way suffering any ill effects from my psychotic outburst.
The problem I am having is that I am suffering. I remember what I looked like while I was screaming at my child. I saw the fear in his face (even for a few milliseconds) and made him cry. And I don't want to be that mom. The one who can't control her anger, who doesn't recognize when she needs a time out and not the other way around and so I really feel that I have to figure out a way to forgive myself for this incident. It is an easy thing to say and a very hard thing to do. No one sets out to mess up their kids, but in the end we all have some kind of mommy issues right?
Ack!!
Alright. I, Natasha, forgive myself for losing it on my kid and scaring the pants off of both of us! I can't promise it won't happen again, but I do promise to do better, to know my limits, recognize his limits, take my time-outs and realize that he is only 4 years old and not out to intentionally drive me crazy (at least not yet)!
And after a tough day like that, the best thing I can think of to help is some closeness and babywearing-no matter how old said 'baby' is!!
Natasha~
Blog Contest and Giveaway Winners!!
And the winners for our first ever Blog contest and giveaway are as follows:
1. Victoria S. is the winner of the photo shoot package with Timeless Edge Photography
2. Paula B. is the winner of the gurumama ring sling from Natural Urban Mamas
3. Stacey is the winner of the $25.00 Gift Certificate from Natural Urban Mamas
All winners were chosen with Random.org. Please contact me at natasha@naturalurbanmamas.com to claim your prize!!
Thank you to everyone who participated! This was fun and I can't wait to do it again!!
Cheers, Natasha~
30 Days of Truth - The List
As I was going through the list today for my 30 days of Truth challenge, I realized that I will most likely be talking/blogging about some people that are or have been a part of my life. I will change names of key players for the most part to protect other people's privacy, but those of you who know me will likely know who I am talking about. This is your warning!! This is about to get very personal!
And with that, I give you the WHOLE list:
Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself. Day 02 → 30 Days of Truth – Day TWO: Something I love about myself." href="http://naturalurbanmama.com/2010/11/18/30-days-of-truth-day-two-something-i-love-about-myself/">Something you love about yourself. Day 03 → 30 Days of Truth – Day Three: Something I have to forgive myself for." href="http://naturalurbanmama.com/2010/11/24/30-days-of-truth-day-three-something-i-have-to-forgive-myself-for/">Something you have to forgive yourself for. Day 04 → 30 Days of Truth – Day FOUR: Something I have to forgive someone for." href="http://naturalurbanmama.com/2010/11/28/30-days-of-truth-day-four-something-i-have-to-forgive-someone-for/">Something you have to forgive someone for. Day 05 → 30 Days of Truth – Day FIVE: Something I hope to do in my life" href="http://naturalurbanmama.com/2010/12/02/30-days-of-truth-day-five-something-i-hope-to-do-in-my-life/">Something you hope to do in your life. Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do. Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for. Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit. Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted. Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know. Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on. Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on. Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter) Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it. Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without. Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something. Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage. Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics? Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol. Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do? Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life. Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life. Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter) Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today. Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why? Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now? Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do? Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why. Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself
30 Days of Truth - Day TWO: Something I love about myself.
Oy, something I love about myself! Ask yourself that. It is a tough question. It makes me feel like I am in a job interview and the interviewer just asked me to list my strengths and weaknesses. You always feel like a dork when answering this one, no matter who you are!
So.....what is my answer? Seriously, I can't think of a good answer. I don't know HOW to answer this question. Is it something about me physically that I love? My relationships with people? Something about my personality? I am so confused....
I have always had self-esteem issues, for as far back as I can remember. Maybe it is a daddy-abandonment issue (my parents separated when I was 7 years old)? I do know that I spent way too many years looking for love in all the wrong places, with all the wrong men and not loving anything about myself. It is really hard to re-program so many years of negative self-talk and low self-worth.
What I do know about myself and perhaps why I looked so hard for love in those days, is that I am a very passionate person. And in the end, I suppose what I do love about myself, is my passion. My passion for life, for my marriage, for my kids, for my career(s). Yes, I think that is it. What I love about myself is my PASSION!
Regarding my life--as you read in my Day ONE post, I have had rheumatoid arthritis for the past 20 years. Yes, I am limited in some capacities, but I can honestly say that I have NEVER let the fact that I have a chronic disease be a crutch or a reason to not live my life to the fullest. I have had three hip surgeries and have still had the most incredible life experiences. I have been on safari in the Serengeti, zip-lined across a rainforest in St. Lucia and hiked up many a mountain in Jasper and Banff.
And my marriage. I tell people that I had a dream about Ben before we met and it is true. I dreamt the whole wedding and everything and within 2 hours of our first date, I knew that he was the guy in my dream! I am a child of a "broken-home". My mom has been married three times. I don't blame her for anything, she was just trying to do her best for her family, but this multiple marriages and divorces left me with a VERY strong desire to NEVER do that! So, I waited....and waited....and he finally came along and we got married and I was 31 years old! He is my best friend, my lover, my sounding board, and often the most frustrating person I know!! We made a commitment to each other and I intend on keeping it, working on it and making this marriage work--FOREVER.
My kids=my forever passion. So cliché, but my greatest achievements are my beautiful children. And it wasn't easy. My first pregnancy was very complicated and Calis was a 3.5 lb preemie. He has taught me the real meaning of sacrifice, LOVE and joy. My pregnancy with my daughter was the exact opposite experience, and I think she is probably saving up all the 'complications' for her teenage years!! They have molded me into this whole other being...a mother! And no one was more surprised than me with how much this new role would change me and my life's direction.
I have had two amazing careers in my life, and throughout both I was and still am a sales person. I am good at it. And I think I am good at it because not only do I believe in myself, but I truly believe that selling is helping. I was a pharmaceutical rep with a big pharma company for almost 9 years. I was very good at my job, made close to a six-figure income and was moving up the ranks.... and I left all of that to pursue a new passion. One created for me by my children: my passion for mothering, and doing so in a way that is gentle, natural and wonderful. My passion for helping parents make their lives more full, and their relationships with their babies more connected is incredibly important to me. It is the foundation for my business and the reason that I do what I do.
Well, that was a lot more long-winded than I expected. But I guess that is what you get when you are passionate about things! And that my friends is what I love about myself. My passion for life, love and the pursuit of happiness!
30 Days of Truth - Day ONE: Something I hate about myself.
So the funny thing is, I have been thinking about doing my post all day for this, but I had it in my head that today's post was "Something I LOVE about myself" and I was having a hard time with it (more on that tomorrow, the actual LOVE post day). Today's post is about something I HATE about myself. Oh, where to begin.....
Okay, okay, I am NOT going to be that girl. You know, the one who moans and groans about her life, her body, her kids, her husband, her butt, etc....but really has it quite good. Nope, not gonna do that.
Here is what I really hate about myself. I HATE my body! And not in the 'I don't like the way I look' kind of way, because I really actually do like the way I look. I hate what happens on the inside. I HATE that I have a chronic disease that is ever so slowly eating away at parts of me on the inside. I hate that I can't RUN across a field with my kids. I hate that I have to ask random people to open bottles of juice for me in food courts. I hate the fact that I am having to take more and more meds, conventional and non, to keep the pain at bay some days. I hate knowing that there ARE going to be more surgeries in my future and I don't know what that means now that I am a mom. And I REALLY hate that I can't wear amazing high heeled shoes or boots for more than a few hours anymore without suffering for 2 days after.
But that is my life and has been for 20 years now. I have Rheumatoid Arthritis. And not the good kind. Not that there is a good kind of disease, but I am a late diagnosed Juvenile RA patient (I was 19 when diagnosed properly). JRA patients get hit in the big joints peeps, hence the three hip replacement surgeries I have already had, and me on yet another wait list to see my orthopedic surgeon regarding my crappy, crackly knees. Not to mention the lack of any shoulder rotation on my left side and well, you are getting the picture right. Big joints = big pain in the ass!!
For the most part I am quite good. My meds do control the disease as well as they can. I am limited in what I can take for medications, BY MY OWN CHOICE mind you, because I have decided to nurse my children for as long as they need. And so I plug along and live my life and try not to let my disease interfere.
But every now and then....
.....I really HATE my body.
Natasha~