30 Days of Truth - Day TWO: Something I love about myself.
Oy, something I love about myself! Ask yourself that. It is a tough question. It makes me feel like I am in a job interview and the interviewer just asked me to list my strengths and weaknesses. You always feel like a dork when answering this one, no matter who you are!
So.....what is my answer? Seriously, I can't think of a good answer. I don't know HOW to answer this question. Is it something about me physically that I love? My relationships with people? Something about my personality? I am so confused....
I have always had self-esteem issues, for as far back as I can remember. Maybe it is a daddy-abandonment issue (my parents separated when I was 7 years old)? I do know that I spent way too many years looking for love in all the wrong places, with all the wrong men and not loving anything about myself. It is really hard to re-program so many years of negative self-talk and low self-worth.
What I do know about myself and perhaps why I looked so hard for love in those days, is that I am a very passionate person. And in the end, I suppose what I do love about myself, is my passion. My passion for life, for my marriage, for my kids, for my career(s). Yes, I think that is it. What I love about myself is my PASSION!
Regarding my life--as you read in my Day ONE post, I have had rheumatoid arthritis for the past 20 years. Yes, I am limited in some capacities, but I can honestly say that I have NEVER let the fact that I have a chronic disease be a crutch or a reason to not live my life to the fullest. I have had three hip surgeries and have still had the most incredible life experiences. I have been on safari in the Serengeti, zip-lined across a rainforest in St. Lucia and hiked up many a mountain in Jasper and Banff.
And my marriage. I tell people that I had a dream about Ben before we met and it is true. I dreamt the whole wedding and everything and within 2 hours of our first date, I knew that he was the guy in my dream! I am a child of a "broken-home". My mom has been married three times. I don't blame her for anything, she was just trying to do her best for her family, but this multiple marriages and divorces left me with a VERY strong desire to NEVER do that! So, I waited....and waited....and he finally came along and we got married and I was 31 years old! He is my best friend, my lover, my sounding board, and often the most frustrating person I know!! We made a commitment to each other and I intend on keeping it, working on it and making this marriage work--FOREVER.
My kids=my forever passion. So cliché, but my greatest achievements are my beautiful children. And it wasn't easy. My first pregnancy was very complicated and Calis was a 3.5 lb preemie. He has taught me the real meaning of sacrifice, LOVE and joy. My pregnancy with my daughter was the exact opposite experience, and I think she is probably saving up all the 'complications' for her teenage years!! They have molded me into this whole other being...a mother! And no one was more surprised than me with how much this new role would change me and my life's direction.
I have had two amazing careers in my life, and throughout both I was and still am a sales person. I am good at it. And I think I am good at it because not only do I believe in myself, but I truly believe that selling is helping. I was a pharmaceutical rep with a big pharma company for almost 9 years. I was very good at my job, made close to a six-figure income and was moving up the ranks.... and I left all of that to pursue a new passion. One created for me by my children: my passion for mothering, and doing so in a way that is gentle, natural and wonderful. My passion for helping parents make their lives more full, and their relationships with their babies more connected is incredibly important to me. It is the foundation for my business and the reason that I do what I do.
Well, that was a lot more long-winded than I expected. But I guess that is what you get when you are passionate about things! And that my friends is what I love about myself. My passion for life, love and the pursuit of happiness!