For future reference.

If you are a regular reader of my blog, you know that I do a weekly round-up of what I like to call "Feminsit Fare" on Fridays. I post interesting and thought provoking articles I have read, videos I have seen, and information I think you will like or that will further our conversations about feminism and motherhood and life. Today, I am collecting posts together in this space for another reason. These pieces are about feminism, misogyny, terrorism, murder, derailing important conversations, and hashtag activism. I have been sharing most of these posts on my Facebook pages and if you haven't figured it out already, they are pieces that have been written or recorded in response to the murderous attack planned and executed by Elliot Rodger in the Isla Vista community in Santa Barbara, California.

And I am saving them all here, because here is the hard truth...

We will need to refer to them again in the future. 

Violence against women is a systematic problem in our world and until and unless a MUCH larger majority of us are willing to DRASTICALLY change that system, this violence will continue. I hate to write this, but there are other Elliot Rodgers out there, just like Elliot Rodger was another George Sodini and George Sodini was another Marc Lepine. Young men growing up in a world of toxic masculinity believing that they are entitled to their prize - a hot woman to have sex with. And denied this prize, they resort to violence to "prove themselves" to the world or to exhort a kind of retribution for being slighted.

Today in a separate Twitter conversation with another young man on the topic of breastfeeding in public, I was called a "relentless feminist". I am 100% sure he meant it as an insult. I did not take it as one.

Because I AM relentless in this. I will never stop trying to change this system. I will never be quiet in the face of oppression and misogyny and violence against women and women's rights. I will amplify the voices of my peers, female and male, who are speaking larger truths that we all need to really listen to and I will keep a chronicle of them all here...

For future reference.

----------

Jessica Valenti writing for The Guardian about how yes, misogyny does indeed kill.

If we need to talk about this tragic shooting in terms of illness, though, let's start with talking about our cultural sickness – a sickness that refuses to see misogyny as anything other than inevitable

Jenni Chui writing at Mommy Nani Booboo about the #YESALLWOMEN hashtag.

Though Elliot Rodgers is an extreme case, the entitlement he expresses mirrors a large societal ill, and has spurred women by the hundreds of thousands to speak up about how it affects them and yes, all women.

Chuck Wendig writing at terribleminds that while it is of course, not all men, it still if far too many.

Show them by cleaning the dogshit out of your ears and listening to their stories — and recognize that while no, it’s not “all men,” it’s still “way too many men.” Consider actually reading the #YesAllWomen hashtag on Twitter not to look for places to interject and defend your fellow men, but as a place to gain insight and understanding into the experiences women have. 

Harris O'Malley writing at Paging Dr. Nerdlove about the price of toxic masculinity.

This is what happens when we grow up in a culture that teaches men that hypermasculinity is what defines them. It tells them that they’re only as good as the sex that they’re having or the ass that they’re kicking. It teaches them that being rejected isn’t a sign of a lack of compatibility or a need to improve but a referendum on their value as a man. That they’re being robbed of what they’re owed.

Laci Green's video about this culture of angry, entitled men is quite powerful and worth a watch.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPFcspwbrq8&feature=share&list=PLTXiNEUzXWKTfNYKThSk-kmJdf7AJRP5K[/youtube]

Phil Plate writing at Slate discussing how and why derailing this potentially system-changing conversation occurs and how unhelpful it is.

Instead of being defensive and distracting from the topic at hand, try staying quiet for a while and actually listening to what the thousands upon thousands of women discussing this are saying.

Lindsay Beyerstein writing at Duly Noted about why Elliot Rodger is in fact a terrorist fighting a War on Women.

By any meaningful standard, Rodger planned and executed a terrorist attack. He orchestrated the violence for maximum symbolic impact and took steps to disseminate his message through the mass media.

(updated on May 29, 2014)

Jeopardy Champion Arthur Chu writing at The Daily Beast discussing the "script" that most nerdy boys grow up with.

...the overall problem is one of a culture where instead of seeing women as, you know, people, protagonists of their own stories just like we are of ours, men are taught that women are things to “earn,” to “win.” That if we try hard enough and persist long enough, we’ll get the girl in the end. Like life is a video game and women, like money and status, are just part of the reward we get for doing well.

Madeleine Davies at Jezebel writing about being not an angry feminist, but a furious one.

And I'm still angry, still furious. I'm furious that growing up, I wasn't allowed to do the same things that my brother did because it wasn't safe for me. I'm furious that my parents ingrained in me from a very young age that I should never wear heels because I should always be ready to run at a moment's notice. I'm furious that walking alone at night feels more like an act of rebellion than a simple act of transit.

(updated, June 1, 2014)

Melissa McEwan at Shakesville writing about "the geek guys Elliot Rodgers think pieces" and how they are still getting it wrong.

And one of the things I'm seeing over and over in these pieces, despite their ostensibly being about how acknowledging women's humanity and agency is important, is a distinct failure to acknowledge women as anything but the sex class. That is, there is very little discussion about how straight men should and do have other reasons for interacting with women than trying to have sex with them.

----------

I know more will be written about this in the days to come and I will continue to add to this list. If you have read something that you think needs to be here please post the link in the comments.

Relentlessly,

natasha~

Feminist Fare Friday: Edition #25

I have that damn Friday song in my head! Which is a good and bad thing. It's good because, YAY! IT'S FRIDAY and bad because, OMG! that song. Either way, here's some of what I read this week that made me think. (Which is not what that damn song does!)

~~~~~~~~~~

1. Ready for another round of which Hollywood starlet wants you to know that she is definitely NOT a feminist and LOVES all the mens? Yeah, me neither, but you know, stupid sells. With some notable NOT stupid feminist actresses stepping up to the plate.

The actress Amy Poehler, 42, told Elle earlier this year: “Some big actors and musicians feel like they have to speak to their audience and that word is confusing to their audience. But I don’t get it. That’s like someone being like, ‘I don’t really believe in cars, but I drive one every day and I love that it gets me places and makes life so much easier and faster and I don’t know what I would do without it.’ ”

~~~~~

2. Get into any kind of conversation about rape culture or feminism/anti-feminism or sexism or misogyny and you are going to hear from at least ONE person (usually male) tell you that NOT ALL MEN think/act/believe THAT way. For a brief history of every dudes favourite argument (and perhaps it's signalling of some kind of positive shift for SOME men), please read the following from Jess Zimmerman at TIME.

It’s true that previous derailment favorites like “patriarchy hurts men too” were paraphrases in a way that “not all men” is not. The demand is the same — “please move me to the center of your discussion” — but “not all men” is, in many cases, straight from the horse’s mouth; even an amateur Reddit spelunker can turn up plenty of sulky or defensive uses of the phrase.

~~~~~

3. When Hip Mama magazine tried to publish it's latest edition with a photo of artist Ana Alvarez-Errecalde's breastfeeding her son on it's cover, the backlash was swift. It showed us just how far we have NOT come in our efforts to normalize images of breasts performing their primary function - breastfeeding. Vendors refused to carry the magazine in their stores and (not surprisingly) Facebook banned the photo multiple times from multiple accounts. Please read the following from Ariel Gore, the editor of Hip Mama, about what happened next.

Violence towards women begins with the repression of sexuality, the appropriation of childbirth, the interference with all vital cycles and the creation of manipulative roles. A negated mother will also negate her body and her presence to her children, so they will all ultimately conform to our unattended, unloved, and unnourished society. 

~~~~~

4. Last Thursday was the end of this season's Grey Anatomy and the end of the era of Cristina Yang. I have watched this show since its beginning and have always been invested in the lives of these characters and the choices that they make for themselves. And it wasn't until Cristina uttered those final lines to Meredith last week that the full scope of what this show has done for women (and perhaps even for me) really hit me.

"Don't let what he wants eclipse what you need;

He's very dreamy, but he's not the sun.

You are the sun."

I just loved these lines; they perfectly define the secondary roles we adopt because we have been conditioned to think this is normal, natural. Women are malleable, and so, we sacrifice because we think we want to. It's easier, isn't it, to just go along with the unspoken rules?

~~~~~

4. And finally, the video "Hugs" by JC Little is pretty much the best thing on the internet this week!

[youtube]http://youtu.be/SHFhepoy-Rs[/youtube]

~~~~~

"HUGS" everyone!

Have a great weekend.

n~

Feminist Fare Friday: Edition #24

Ah! May long weekend! I don't know about you, but for me, this marks start of me feeling the beginnings of summer (even though I live in Alberta and it did briefly snow for a bit last week). It's a weekend of clearing out the closets, figuring out who needs new shoes and rubber boots and finally packing away all of the winter gear and getting the box of summer and outside play things ready for use! Before you get into spring cleaning/gardening/going camping mode, what better way to start your weekend than with some wonderful feminist food for thought.

Enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~

1. "Why aren't you happier?"  "You should smile more?"  "What have you got to be unhappy about?"

Ugh, so many questions. So many times directed mainly at women. Jessica Valenti breaks it down for us in this Guardian post about why women seem to be so "unhappy".

"Maybe the trade-off for having our eyes opened to inequality is feeling a little miffed about getting the short end of the stick. Dissatisfaction seems a fairly normal reaction to injustice."

~~~~~

2. It is prom time once again. You know, that time when teenage girls all across North America beg their mothers for a custom made red taffeta strapless dress with layers & layers of tulle under it (or was that just me in the late 80's??). Seriously though, it's a special time of year for these students as they celebrate their scholarly achievements and a rather big transition in their young lives. And they get to dress up all fancy-like for it. For some though, what is supposed to be a wonderful night with friends can turn into a complete sexist shit-show, as it did for Clare last week when she was asked to leave her prom because of her non-dress-code violating sparkly dress and a bunch of ogling 45-year old dads who blamed a teenage girl for their own pervy-ness!

"I’m a tall and fairly curvy girl and you know something? I looked hot. Not trashy, but you definitely would look twice when I walked through a doorway. And you know what happened? I got kicked out of prom because of it."

~~~~~

3. This week was not a great one for women in positions of power. Which begs the question? Is all this "leaning in" really working out or are we still just telling women to play a {male} role in a world not set up for them? Soraya Chemaly examines this phenomenon in this Ms. Magazine article.

"Reading yesterday about the abrupt firing of Jill Abramson, the first woman at the New York Times, along with theresignation of Le Monde’s Natalie Nougayrède, was like watching a ripple of misogyny move through the air in slow motion. Similar, in fact, to watching the slow, then fast, build to AustralianPrime Minister Julia Gillard’s removal from office. There’s no way to examine these situations and ask, “Do women fear power and success?” Instead, the question is, “Why are powerful and successful women so feared?”"

~~~~~

4. The kidnapped Nigerian girls are still missing and the world is still talking about it (although the Solange V Jay-Z Elevator thing seemed to take centre stage this week). What the world needs to know is that Nigerian women, these African women are the reason, and will likely be the main reason, that these girls will eventually be found and rescued. Please read this powerful piece from Nobel Peace Laureate Leymah Gwobee.

"...the bravery of Nigerian women, who took to the streets to demand that the world pay attention. African women tend to be portrayed as victims — the raped, the suffering, the poor mothers of the poor girls. But across Africa, women are ending conflicts, reshaping governments and bringing attention to crucial issues. In this story, as in many others, they are the heroes."

~~~~~

Have a wonderful and restful long weekend everyone. At least that's my plan.

natasha~

Feminist Fare Friday: Edition #22

Happy Easter/Passover/Zombie Jesus/Egg laying Bunny weekend to everyone. Ok, no really, if this weekend is a serious one for you, I mean it, I wish you peace and blessings all around. And if for some of you it is just a good excuse to crack open those Cadbury eggs and slowly lick out the centres until you pass out from all the sugar, well, have at 'er folks! Just make sure you read some yummy feminist fare below before you get too full on all that creamy, sugary, chocolate-y goodness.

~~~~~~~~~~

1. No one has ever said that being a parent is easy. It's hard knowing that pieces of your heart are walking around outside of your body. This week was the release of yet another (timely) "motherhood is the toughest job on earth" videos. It's been shared and viewed close to a bajillion times already (my fact-checker is on vacation, but I am pretty sure that is accurate) and it's one of those 'love it or hate it' kind of videos. I kinda don't love it at all that much and not surprisingly, I am not the only one.

"The main reason I'm over this "Ooh, moms, you are so amazing to do something so hard and thankless" idea is that it feels false. It feels like you're patting me on the head and saying I'm cute. Why is it a man delivering the message in this video? Because then people will take it seriously, of course."

~~~~~

2. Tuesday and Wednesday nights on Twitter it is usually PAR-TAY central. And by par-tay, I mean the corporately sponsored, hashtaged kind where you get to win prizes and answer all kinds of really important questions like, which bread you use, when was the last time you cleaned your bum with a wet wipe or what spunky outfit your kid is wearing this season. I do not usually participate in these twitter parties, for a variety of reasons; I don't use the product, I don't feel comfortable disclosing my personal toilet hygiene routines online or more often than not, I do not support the company sponsoring the party.

This last point has become increasingly important in my consumerism since the tragedy that happened at the Rana Plaza in Bangladesh last year. Annie at Phd in Parenting has been staying on top of what has been happening since the factory collapse and has put together a rather comprehensive post outlining some of the brands and companies that have, and those that have not, stepped up to the plate to compensate the victims and change the way that they do business in Bangladesh. There is no need to boycott all goods made in Bangladesh, but there is a need to hold accountable the companies that are NOT doing the right thing for and by the people they use to make their goods.

"As Western consumers of many of the goods that are produced in that factory, the deaths, the injuries, the inhumane working conditions make us feel guilty, devastated and confused. Where can we buy clothing for our families without hurting people? How do we know that the companies that we are buying from are treating workers fairly and ensuring they have safe working conditions?"

~~~~~

3. I am not a fan of banning words. I like words. I write a lot of them here and I aim to write a whole lot more of them. One day I hope that my words will end up in a book that people will want to read and buy and keep in their libraries. And maybe, just maybe, it will be one that gets me on the list of most-banned books in America, along with the likes of Captain Underpants, The Hunger Games and Perks of Being a Wallflower - all three of which made the 2013 list of the top ten most challenged books. 

~~~~~

4. And a bit of good news from our local provincial government today.

"Progressive Conservative MLAs voted in favour Thursday of proposed amendments to several provincial laws that would remove the definition of marriage as an institution between a man and woman, replacing it with gender-neutral language, and allow transgender people to change their birth certificates without first having gender reassignment surgery."

~~~~~~~~~~

Have a wonderful long weekend everyone.

natasha~

Feminist Fare Friday: Edition #21

Sometimes I wish for nothing to write here. Why? Because 8/10 things that I post in these feminist round-ups are not positive. They are perpetuations of the kind of culture we live in where women are still "other", still marginalized, still working for less, still trying to DO it all so they can have it all and never actually getting "it". Here we are in 2014, still talking about/legislating bodily rights, the "controversy" over the colour pink and why, who and how we are all somehow doing feminism wrong (or right). My friend @DanaDitomaso posted a hashtag Thursday morning that sums up the week very well: #FeministRageWeek.

And I warn you, you will totally understand why after you finish reading...

~~~~~

On Monday...

I am not a tech gal. I can write one, maybe two lines of code in an emergency and with a Youtube tutorial playing on the iPad beside me, but I have A LOT of friends who are very tech-y, who can write the shit out of code, who do this for a living AND... are women. Unfortunately the creators of the new HBO series, Silicon Valley, don't seem to run in the same kinds of circles that I do and apparently haven't met any women in the tech world. I have not yet seen the show, but according to Madrev at Medium.com there are only two female characters in the show and...

 "...between her perfectly styled hair and makeup, the semi-flirtatious doe eyes and the click of her heels as she walks Richard to her car, it’s pretty clear what Monica’s purpose is in the Silicon Valley story. She’s eye candy, or perhaps an eventual love interest — either way, she probably doesn’t write code. It seems that as far as Judge and HBO are concerned, all the real contributors of the tech world are (mostly white, all straight) men."

~~~~~

On Tuesday...

Ad companies are really sticking their feet in it these days. If you thought the days of Mad Men sexism were gone, well, you'd be wrong. A few weeks ago an Autralian ad for Snickers thought they were being funny about guys not being "themselves" when they are hungry and it backfired quite spectacularly. 

This week's "BADvertising" winner is Veet. You know, the chemically-laden crap that melts hair off of your body so you can be porn-star smooth? Yeah, that VEET. Apparently, and according to the three person female marketing team for Veet, having a bit of body hair or stubble the day after shaving will LITERALLY turn you into a dude! True Story! Veet has since pulled the US ads from Youtube and issued a "Sorry you're all such party poopers and didn't like our very funny joke" apology, but you can still find them here... You know, to fuel your rage a bit more.

Tuesday also brought us the release of the "much anticipated, first EVER, feature film from documentary filmmaker Chris Wiegand".

Umm, WHO??

Well, you see Chris is this guy who is married to Casey. Casey has a blog. It's one of those really pretty blogs with lots of pics of her three cute kids, their perfectly imperfect shabby chic decor and wardrobes and every picture is totally Pinterest-worthy. It's the kind of blog that you look at dreamily and then look at your pile of clean-but-not-folded-for-a-week laundry, mismatched bed sheets (NOT done on purpose) and kid with two different socks on (also not on purpose) and think, my God, how does she do it! And why doesn't someone make a movie about her and all her friends?

Chris did just that. He bought himself the ultimate hipster camper (an Airstream), travelled across the United States, made a movie about Casey and 51 of her closest blogging friends and called it American Blogger. If you haven't already seen the trailer, here you go.

[vimeo]http://vimeo.com/89759305[/vimeo]

Yes, this is a real trailer for a real movie. NO, it is not an SNL skit or something off of Funny or Die (like my husband thought). And yes, roughly 90% of bloggers (my non-scientific guess-timate) from America (and Canada and I'm going to assume everywhere else) are kind of upset about it. A quick Google search will find you plenty of posts examining why this is NOT a documentary about America or even about blogging, let alone American bloggers. I particularly liked Kelly's post at Debie Hive, and I think she hits the nail squarely on the head...

"One of the things that bothered me the very most about the trailer is the part where one of the women interviewed says something to the effect that if we don't put our writing out there, what are we doing it for? As if to say that the only value inherent in writing is that someone else reads it. I challenge this statement on its face, and I question if she's actually figured out what it means to be a writer yet. I don't think she has, and it makes me sad for her a little. A person who is just a blogger writes for an audience, particularly if they are doing it in some attempt to make a living which necessitates a loyal audience."

~~~~~

On Wednesday...

Not only do we now have pens for the ladies (Thank Bic, those man-pens were just getting too.... manly for me), now boys, you have no need to worry anymore about your yogurt! Don't eat that belly-dancing stuff. You need to get yourself some POWERFUL Yogurt or "Brogurt" as those in the media are calling it.

[youtube]http://youtu.be/zZMsI45mHVo[/youtube]

I am not kidding people, THIS TOO IS A REAL THING! And guys, I hope I don't need to tell you this, but just in case, you can not get washboard abs from a tub of greek yogurt! (I've tried.)

~~~~~

On Thursday....

IN MY OWN CITY!!!

Ugh. This is a tough one.

I am not sure if this was a Social Media intern gone awry or an intentional click-baiting tweet or just plain ass stupidity, but Thursday morning a local and (up until today) much loved talk radio station posted the following tweet and link to an online poll.

You can't get much more victim blaming about sexual assault than actual putting the words VICTIM and BLAME in the same damn sentence. The outrage over this tweet (and identical post on the stations Facebook page) was swift and merciless. AS IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN! The worst part? Before the station took down the tweet and "apologized" by re-wording the question with more context, 35% of the respondents (I don't have actual numbers) said YES.

So, just in case ANYONE needs a reminder...

AND "Dear CHED. The answer is NO." 

~~~~~

And now it's Friday...

I thought I'd leave you with something not so rage-inducing. How about a totally awesome gender swapping art series?

Have a great weekend everyone.

Maybe meditate a bit, calm the rage and get ready to keep on keeping on next week!

Luv ya,

natasha~

Feminist Fare Friday: Edition #20

Feminist Fare Friday is bought to you today by the inimitable Ms. Gloria Steinem.

Happy 80th Birthday Gloria!

For all the work you have done, for all the torches you have lit, and for all the ways we need to keep our torches lit, and keep working to light even more. We thank you.

I thank you.

~~~~~~~~~~

1. Liz Gumbinner at MOM-101, wrote this great post in honour of Ms. Steinem's birthday. Go and read it. And in case you miss it (it's one of the links in the above post), please read this post from Liz as well, from way back in 2006 (which is, like, the stone-age of blogging! Ha!) in which Gloria Steinem talks about the stay at home mother and feminism.

"To say that homemakers “don’t work” is a form of semantic slavery. Actually, homemakers work longer hours, for less pay, under worse conditions (more violence, depression, drug and alcohol addiction etc.) — and less security (more probability of being replaced by a younger worker!) — than any other class of workers in the country."

~~~~~

2. The fine people at Makers.com put together a nifty little infographic of Gloria Steinem's life. It highlights what we know about her and what we may not know and is a great insight into her life and her legacy.

~~~~~

3. This week was also the week that CBC radio and Jian Ghomeshi really stuck their collective feet in it when they aired a debate about rape culture on Ghomeshi's popular radio show Q. (Your first clue here should be the word "debate".) Folks, the fact that people who are witnessing a rape can't even identify it as such (think Steubenville case) shows us how much of a problem this is. The social media outrage and response to the myriad of rape apologists was witnessed in the #rapecultureiswhen hashtag and outlined in this PolicyMic post from Danielle Paradis. 

~~~~~

4. My little Kindergartener has been having a colour-a-day theme going on at school this past week and yesterday was pink day. It was also her celebration of learning day and parents were encouraged to also wear the colour of the day. My daughter has A LOT of pink in her wardrobe. She likes bright colours and is not afraid to mix and match. Finding something for her to wear yesterday was not an issue. In my wardrobe on the other hand, I have one pyjama top and one sports bra that are pink. That's it. I am not opposed to the colour pink, it's just not a colour that I gravitate to when choosing my garments.

Pink has been in the media again this week (the colour, not the singer!) and my friend Avital Norman Nathman very aptly expresses the "problem" with pink in this post over at The Mamafesto.

Pink is a cool color – I get it. Flamingos are pink and flamingos are awesome. What’s not to love? And many, many girls love pink. Also awesome. But when all we offer them is pink? That’s when the trouble starts. By taking “boy” toys (Legos, Nerf guns, etc…) and turning them pink in order to sell them to girls, we’re offering up two messages – the first is that the default for toys is that they’re for boys. The other message is that the only way to get girls to play with them is to drench them in pink. 

~~~~~

Have a wonderful weekend everyone. Keep fighting the good fight!

N~

Feminist Fare Friday: Edition #19.

This is officially my 400th published post on this site! Last night I was racking my brain trying to think of something EPIC and truly profound to write about and well, Scandal was on, so... Do not fear though! In light of International Women's Day last weekend, I have found a treasure trove of things for you to read and watch this weekend to get your feminism ON! 

~~~~~~~~~~

1. The folks at Glamour asked TED put together a list of the Top 10 TED talks by women that all women people really should watch. I was quite pleased that I had already seen 5 of the 10 and was blown away by the rest of them. Especially this one by Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, a neuroscientist who observed her own stroke as it was happening.

[youtube]http://youtu.be/UyyjU8fzEYU[/youtube]

Bookmark this page and please watch these talks at your leisure. I promise, you won't be disappointed.

~~~~~

2. If you haven't heard already, there is a new campaign by the Sheryl Sandberg "Lean-in" crowd going around called #BanBossy. Many feminists have written varying opinions about it this week, myself included. bell hooks even got in on this one and started tweeting her own version of reclaiming the word with the Twitter hashtag #bossyandproud. Jessica Bennet at Time.com wrote a handy guide for how not to sound like a sexist or use sexist language and I thought it highlighted very nicely all the ways that we use a lot of different words in sexist ways every day and points out how we can change this.

"Words tell us something about the way our culture perceives women in power, and whether we believe they’re supposed to be there."

~~~~~

3. Ever wanted to be a real life super hero? Well now you can by simply joining the growing force at GenderAvenger.com. Gender Avenger was founded by Gina Glantz and has a mission of "building a community that ensures women are represented in the public dialog." I performed my first mission as a Gender Avenger this past week and nominated CBC's Hockey Night in Canada to the Gender Avenger Hall of Shame for their use of the word DIVERSE to describe their new line up of hosts and commentators (Hint: the line up is all male and all white).  You too can become a #genderavenger!  Sign up for the newsletters, get yourself one of these fancy-schmancy badges, and speak up when you see women being left out of the public dialog.

~~~~~

4. I came across this lovely, colourful infographic the other day called "The Science of Raising Happy Kids". It is from an app and website called Happify.com that from what I can gather is a kind of Lumosity for getting happier. There are some really good points to consider here and I particularly liked point #2. Be happy mamas, it matters not only to you, but to your kids too!

~~~~~

5. The other day one of my lovely Instagram followers sent me the following message:

"I haven't been following you long, but I had the opportunity to meet Gloria Steinem this weekend and thought of you!"

Umm, WOW! First, that she got to meet Ms. Steinem and second, she thought of ME! I read an excerpt from an essay that Gloria Steinem wrote for MS. Magazine last week about the myths of feminism and why our revolution has just begun and it has made my resolve even stronger to continue in this thing called Feminism and to keep lighting the torches of others. We still have a long, long way to go....

"...(the myth) that women of the ’70s did all that could or should be done, and young women can now relax; feminism was their mothers’ movement. Even the abolitionist and suffragist era shows how ridiculous this is. If it took more than a century for black men and all women to gain a legal identity as citizens instead of chattel, it’s likely to take at least a century to gain a legal and social equality as everything from workers to candidates to parents."

~~~~~

Have a great weekend Avengers, Revolutionaries and Happiness creators!

love and light,

n~

Feminist Fare Friday: Edition #18

A funny thing happens when you decide to quit most of your social media outlets for a month. LIFE.

Or at least one that is your own.

Feminist Fare Fridays has been on a bit of a hiatus this month while I readjusted and re-prioritized and reclaimed MY life. In doing so, I have had time to reflect on how I react to issues and people online, how this can negatively {and positively} affect me and what I want to do about all of it.

What I do know, is that I want to continue with Feminist Fare Fridays and this week I am sharing some of the things that have touched me this past month. Some have enlightened me, some made me think about my choices in life, both big and small, and some are just good food for thought for all of us.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~

1. Privilege. It's something that we hear a lot about these days, but is still often a hard concept for people to A) explain and B) understand. Robot Hugs made this lovely little comic strip about 'Managing Privilege' that is, in my opinion, rather brilliant. I think everyone should read it.

~~~~~

2. I am not a religious person. I believe in God, but over the years, our relationship has become complicated. I grew up in a very Catholic household and Jesus and his teachings were in everything. They are a part of me, even though it is a part I don't talk about a lot.  And never, ever, EVER, in all those years of church going and altar serving and Sunday schooling, did I hear from him or his Father, "Thou shalt not bake for the homosexuals!" In fact, I am pretty sure Jesus probably would have turned some boring unleavened bread into a fabulous rainbow cake, because, you know, he was JESUS! With no intent of getting preachy on you, I thought I would share what Rachel Held Evans has to say about the very strong Christian belief in "religious freedom" and the "threats" to it and what everyone needs to remember about what Jesus did for ALL  people and what he called us to do too.

I've been watching people with golden crosses around their necks and on their lapels shout at the TV about how serving gay and lesbian people is a violation of their “sincerely-held religious beliefs.” 

And I can't help but laugh at the sad irony of it. 

Two-thousand years ago, Jesus hung from that cross, looked out on the people who put him there and said, "Father, forgive them." Jesus served sinners all the way to the cross. 

~~~~~

3. This weekend is Oscar weekend and I have seen NONE of the films in the Best Picture category and THREE of the five in the Best Animated Film category.This qualifies as a "You know you are a mom when..." moment and I'm gonna go with Frozen as my pick for that one. As for the Best Picture category, all I really hope is that Wolf of Wall Street does not win. No, I have not seen the movie, I don't need to see it to know the kind of utter devastation Jordan Belfort wreaked on people's lives. The movie seems like a celebration, not a condemnation of Belfort's behaviour and Tom Watson ponders the question for the Ms. Magazine blog; "Is a vote for Leo's "Wolf" a vote for sexism?" I can't help but think that yes, yes it is.

"Wolf’s traders are rank misogynists, bullying homophobes, extroverted sexists, violent buyers and sellers of human favors. “Has he made a movie that, on some level, is an apologia for the Jordan Belforts of the world because, deep down, and maybe more than he can admit, Scorsese admires their amoral macho recklessness?”

~~~~~

4. When was the last time someone gave you a compliment and you simply looked them in the eye and said "Thank you"?  It's tough right? How often do you instead, say something along the lines of "Oh, this old thing?" when someone tells you they like your shirt or "I didn't do a thing to it today" when someone comments on how great your hair looks. I know I do this ALL. THE. TIME. Michelle Cove writing for Blogher tells us why learning to accept a compliment is an important lesson to teach our daughters {and ourselves}:

The bottom line is, what we say about ourselves matters. It affects how we think about our essential worth, and how we make choices. Being able to accept praise expresses to the world that we understand our value. If we can't learn how to identify and own our strengths, privately and publicly, we can't possibly reach our full potential, whether it's personal, professional or otherwise.

~~~~~

5. March 8th, 2014 is International Women's Day. I will be celebrating women around the world by watching the documentary film Girl Rising and then listening to the incredible Laverne Cox {yes, THAT Laverne Cox from OITNB!!). I can't think of a better way to spend that day! If you want to join me for either of these events in Edmonton, please comment on my "The Value of a Girl" post to win tickets to Girl Rising or check out the Facebook event pages for Girl Rising Edmonton or the Laverne Cox presentation sponsored by the University of Alberta's Gender Based Violence Prevention Project.

~~~~~

Have a wonderful weekend everyone!

Stay warm Prairie folks. :/

natasha~