Feminist Fare Friday: Edition #8

I am very sorry, it's been two weeks since I've served up some yummy feminist fare for you. As you can imagine, a lot has been going on in the feminist realm and I'll do my best to get myself {and you} up to speed and back on track. This is what happens when a certain 41-year old goes to a blogging conference and stays up carousing until 2 AM for three nights in a row. At my age, it takes exactly 10 days to recover and get one's head out of the fog that those three days created!! But, I did have a REALLY, really good time and you can read all about it here. Now, onto the good stuff.

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1. Last week the internet was all up in arms about a T-shirt.  Granted it was a masturbating, menstruating vagina t-shirt from American Apparel and artist Petra Collins, but still a simple t-shirt none the less. And while I am not about to go out and buy this particular t-shirt, I do get that it is art and art is meant to provoke. And really folks, there are a lot more crazy and WAY more offensive things put on t-shirts these days than a depiction of someone's lady parts. Now, if it wasn't enough that the internet went all bat-shit-crazy on Petra over her t-shirt, her Instagram account was recently deleted as well. Why exactly is still not clear, but Petra herself has some thoughts on why an image of part of her unaltered body (that contains no nudity) may have caused this level of online censorship to occur and it is making me feel very, very angry.

"Through this removal I really felt how strong of a distrust and hate we have towards female bodies. The deletion of my account felt like a physical act, like the public coming at me with a razor, sticking their finger down my throat, forcing me to cover up, forcing me to succumb to societies image of beauty. That these very real pressures we face everyday can turn into literal censorship."

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2. And while we are on the topic of the female body, I came across this powerful poetry reading last night from Lily Myers called "Shrinking Woman".

[youtube]http://youtu.be/zQucWXWXp3k[/youtube]

This piece really gave me pause, especially because I have a daughter and I don't want her to absorb that kind of "accidental inheritance" from me about food, about my body or hers or about how much space women are "allowed" to occupy in this world.

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3. It is that time of year yet again. Halloween. Or as I like to call it at our house, "Hallo-avoid every commercial store and costume EVER because MY 5 YEAR OLD IS NOT SEXY AND SPIDERGIRL DOESN'T WEAR A PINK TUTU-ween". Beth Greenfield at Yahoo Shine examines what kind of messages these over-prettified and hypersexualized costumes send to our children. HINT-not good ones!

“I think it says to girls that everything they do has to fit in one small box—because even if they don’t want to be a princess, the Spider Man costume looks like a princess,” developmental psychologist Christia Spears Brown, author of the forthcoming book “Parenting Beyond Pink and Blue,” tells Yahoo Shine. “It says, ‘Your gender is more important than the costume,’ and ‘Being a girl is the most important thing about you.’” 

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4. Privilege. It's a word we hear a lot these days. Gender privilege, race privilege, socio-ecomonic privilege, it's out there people and for a lot of folks, privilege is a really hard thing to truly grasp. Which when you think about it, is incredibly ironic and sad. I had an interesting experience last week talking to a middle-aged, middle-class white man about women being shamed for breastfeeding in public. Do you know what he said to me? He interrupted me, told me he can't even believe that this is an issue in our day and age and dismissed the problem outright. Here's the thing. I am a white, cis-gendered, middle-class woman. I HAVE privilege up the ying-yang! But not until that very moment when my experiences and that of so many other breastfeeding mothers was so summarily dismissed by someone who has privilege that I do not, did the whole concept of PRIVILEGE come to full fruition in my brain.

In feminism, no talk of privilege can exist without intersectionality coming into play and I know that for some this can seem like some kind of high-level academic feminist balderdash. I assure you it is not and in this incredibly honest piece from Winona Dimeo-Edigar at The Frisky, you will see why it's as fundamental to feminism as the basic premise that "Feminism is the radical idea that women are people".

"...I think a lot of white feminists are like me — our goals and values might be in the right place, but our privilege has insulated us to the need for intersectionality and the diverse concerns of the diverse group of women who make up the modern feminist movement. We want to keep feminism simple to achieve our goals, but we don’t realize that “keeping it simple” often means shutting out voices and experiences that don’t look like ours. If we want to be part of a strong, welcoming sisterhood, we must understand the effects of our privilege."

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5. And finally, it's October, or "Pinktober" according to KFC, the NFL, Chambord, Pilsbury and a whole slew of other brands and retailers cashing in on "raising awareness" for breast cancer and donating a mere pittance of the proceeds from all their pink merchandise to actual cancer research. Cancer is not pretty. It is not pink. It is not about "setting the tatas free" on a ridiculous no-bra day campaign.  It is painful and devastating and life-altering and women young and old are fighting for their lives against this beast. The public needs to see this side of breast cancer and that is what The Scar Project is doing with this striking photography series of young breast cancer survivors shot by fashion photographer David Jay.  It's not easy to look at these photos, but it puts a reality to breast cancer that the general public needs to see before heading out to buy another big pink garbage bin. Please donate directly to your local cancer societies or to any number of organizations that directly help cancer patients and survivors and avoid all the "pinkwashing" of this terrible disease.

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On that note, I wish you all a safe and wonderful weekend!

Peace,

natasha~

Feminist Fare Friday: Edition #7.

Todays feminist fare is brought to you by boobs. Why? Because God knows that the sight of any part of one gets the whole damn internet/media/complete strangers in a crazy uproar! So without further ado. I give you the boobs of....

1. Amanda Palmer. This past June, the UK's Daily Mail reported on her little nip slip (and practically nothing else) after her show at Glastonbury. Amanda wrote this lovely little ditty for them.

[youtube]http://youtu.be/RRWp4B0qsW8[/youtube]

2. Tina Fey. It seems that last weeks Emmy's were so far from exciting that the only thing anyone wanted to talk about the next day, aside from Bryan Cranston being ROBBED, was Tina's nipple. So, talk all you want people, IT'S JUST A BOOB!

[youtube]http://youtu.be/NEqG---qVp0[/youtube]

3. Breastfeeding Moms Everywhere. It is World MilkSharing Week and human milk donations all over the world are helping to feed babies. Whether it is in our own informal milk sharing mother communities or through donations to milk banks, for some of these babes, every drop counts and is a labour of life and love! In honour of that, and for breastfeeding in general, I'd like to re-post this beautiful spoken word poetry from Hollie McNish.

[youtube]http://youtu.be/KiS8q_fifa0[/youtube]

Have a wonderful weekend everyone!

XO

natasha~

Feminist Fare Friday: On Saturday (again). Edition #6

I think from now on I should just take all of September off from everything else except getting everyone (especially ME) established into our school and activity routines. All this lunch making, homework doing, form after form after form-filling out and timing dinner just right on our extracurricular activity days is exhausting. Needless to say, this stay at home gig of mine is actually feeling very much like a 'job' these days! But feminism and the internet wait for now woman. And this week there a couple of DOOZIES out there!

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1. "There she is.... Miss America...." Oh, wait, what?? She is NOT WHITE! Oh, hell NO!!

That unfortunately was the response of a lot of hateful, racist, disgusting people after the very beautiful Nina Davuluri, Miss New York, was given the ultimate in beauty pageantry bling last Sunday. I have to say that I did not watch the pageant, as I kind of have a rule about these things (as in, I would rather watch a 'Lady Hoggers" marathon before I ever watch a beauty pageant again!), but I was on Twitter that night and saw some of the tweets on the #MissAmerica hashtag. After a night of everything being about beauty and glamour, what happened on Twitter after the fact was like night and day, if day was a terrible racist with no ability to spell and an irrational fear of all things NOT WHITE!

There is more to the whole Miss America pageant that is disconcerting to me and I am not the only one. Elizabeth Plank at PolicyMic had this to say:

"Why is that in 2013, the largest benefactor of scholarships for women in America judges its recipients based on how hot they look in a bikini? "

Yeah, why is that??

2. Oh and while one organization is awarding scholarships for women to go to college (albeit based on how they look in their bikinis and ball gowns), over here on the FAR, FAR, right, (and under the guise of some sect of Catholicism that they forgot to teach me at Sunday School), we have this guy telling girls that they should NOT be going to college at all! I know, I know, it really is all a bit baffling for us women-folk.

But just so our younger generation doesn't get all caught up in the confusion, Lindy West at Jezebel is having none of this ridiculousness and has something to say to all the "Good Catholic Girls" out there!

"Contrary to what people might have told you, your life is yours—not your father's, not your husband's, not the Pope's, not some radical internet creep's. [...] You get to do whatever the fuck you want, within legal boundaries. You can still hold yourself to the moral code of your choice, immerse yourself in the church of your choice, marry someone whose faith you respect, and so on, but your church's jurisdiction over your life ends where your personal liberty begins."

There is more. A lot more. It's a good read and Lindy, well, I really really dig her!

3. Since you are probably sick and tired of me going on on an about Blurred Lines, I thought I would share this little gem I found about the lyrics of a different song. Baby got (respect) Back!!   Of course, now I can't get that song out of my head!

4. And this may not have much to do with feminism, but that damn Louis CK. He is SO right about so many things...

[youtube]http://youtu.be/5HbYScltf1c[/youtube]

Have a great weekend everyone! September is almost over and I'll get back on schedule soon. Right?

Cheers,

Natasha~

Feminist Fare Fridays: Edition #5

This week kind of kicked my butt. I fell completely off the Summer Blog Challenge wagon and managed to only publish a couple of picture posts of my kids being super adorable. And yes, this post is now 2 days late, something I vowed not to do. {le grand sigh} Oh well. My husband keeps telling me I need to be more liquid and just to go with the flow (also, he may have been watching a bit of You, Me and Dupree earlier this week.). So while I may not have been writing a whole lot this week, I was still reading and here are my thoughts on a few compelling posts I found this week!

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1. A few weeks ago we were downtown enjoying our wonderful City Centre farmer's market. We had just picked up some watermelon iced tea (yes, it was as good as it sounds) and the kids and I were sitting on a bench enjoying our treat and taking in the sights and sounds of the market. A man in his late twenties walked up to us, went up to my 6 year old son and motioned for a fist bump (which C kind of shrugged off) and then pointed to my 4 year old daughter and said in a booming voice, "YOU, little girl are GORGEOUS!" and then he walked off. The kids both looked at me wondering how to react to this and I was a little taken aback at that moment and just shrugged it off too. But maybe I shouldn't have. Had I read this post about street harassment by Soraya Chemaly earlier I may have even used it as a teachable moment for my kids. A moment to teach them about respect for others and about respect for themselves. Because all too often I have been subjected to various forms of street harassment and...

"After the thin veneer of flattery wears off, what is left is a sometimes-daily awareness of vulnerability, sexual objectification, shame at being targeted, and shame at not fighting back." 

2. And GOOD NEWS everyone!! In case you haven't heard.... the Patriarchy is dead!!!

No really, according to writer and "The End of Men" author Hanna Rosin, we killed it. For reals!

And if you can't read my dripping sarcasm in the above lines, then you are on the wrong page of the internet. I still am wrapping my head around Ms. Rosin's essay (an updated epilogue to her book) and in doing so I have come across some great commentary about her {ahem} take on our current feminist world. One very compelling post is from Nora Caplan-Bricker at The New Republic;

"There’s a long and storied tradition of people (usually men) telling women what they think—“You may be under the impression you think this, but it’s really that.” In recent years, this has been referred to as “mansplaining,” but it used to go by another word: “patriarchy.” And women can be instruments of the patriarchy, too. Rosin isn’t the first to tell members of her own sex that there’s a simple, right way to go about things, and to scold them for doing it wrong."

3. Speaking of people telling other people how to do things and trying to LEGISLATE their tyranny too...

The Parti Quebecois and its leader, Premier Pauline Marois, have devised a plan called the "Charter of Values" that calls to secularize (is that a word?) all public sector workers and make it a law that they can not wear any garment or jewelry that symbolizes their religious beliefs. No turbans, no hijab, no Star of David, no kippah and supposedly no crucifixes either (but the big one at Quebec's Legistlature building is still OK).  Here is a quick FAQ post for you to get up to speed on this bigoted ridiculousness and then please read this beautifully written post by Fariha Naqvi-Mohamed, who has a lot to say to Premier Marois about HER Quebec.

"Despite the ludicrous nature of this proposed charter of values, I refuse to be ashamed of my Quebec. You see, somewhere along the years it became excusable to not discuss the staggering debt of our province, the moon-like roads, the ingrained corruption that has permeated most levels of government, the future of our healthcare system. Instead you have opted for us to focus on a piece of cloth and other religious symbols."

4. My last book club book was 'The Red Tent', by Anita Diamant. I had never read it before and was completely enthralled with the world of Dinah and her mothers and the traditions and rituals of their lives. As I read the book and afterwards I longed for a red tent of my own, of a celebration of womanhood and of time to retreat and not worry about everything and everyone. And it seems I am not the only one...

"What I wouldn’t give for a red tent. An excuse to withdraw and release and be weepy and mopey in peace, and in communion. To stop pretending that my monthly cycles don’t affect my emotions. To stop pretending I am stronger than the need for good sleep and consistent meals. To allow that physical pain stops me in my tracks and makes me want to curl into a ball, and to do so. To acknowledge that bleeding between my legs makes me want to slow down instead of doing a tampon commercial showing how I can still swim and teach aerobics and run a marathon. To admit that, sometimes, I get cranky when I’m on the rag, and that that’s OK. Because it isn’t a contest, and I haven’t let our side down.

That's all I've got for this week everyone. I kind of had too much sangria at our annual block party last night and I told a whole bunch of my neighbours that I am a feminist writer/blogger. I am all about making friends and influencing people.... Let's just hope I get an invitation to the party again next year.

Otherwise who is going to build one heck of a wicked fire for everyone to roast marshmallows over!!

 

'Til next week,

natasha~

Feminist Fare Fridays: Edition #4

Phew! Is anyone else exhausted after the first week of school? And I don't mean the kids! This was my first week of making lunches everyday, of walking to school and starting to figure out our new one in full-day and one in half-day routines. And so, with school in mind, I give you somewhat of an education-based round up of feminist fare this week!

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1. I have a couple of blogging heroes and one of them is the wonderful Annie Urban at Phd in Parenting. (She is one hell of a dance partner too!) And just in case you need to know why, just check out her post on all the back to school and back to gender-role stereotyping that we are inundated with at this time of year. I personally have made a strong effort to stay away from and not buy clothing that turns my kids into walking brand advertisements and reinforces the pink/blue world that we live in! And while I may have favourited a bunch of those "what to make for my kid's lunch" posts" for future reference, the assumption and reinforcement of parental gender roles by mass media is maddening! And PLEASE, make sure you also click on that last link in her post and read up on why mothers shouldn't have opinions.

2. And speaking of mothers and their opinions. There were PLENTY this week in the world of the "mommy bloggers". One particular blogger, we'll call her Mrs. Hall, had a lot to say to all the girls tempting her teenage sons with their racy pyjama'd and {ahem} bra-less Instagram pictures. And then the internet quite literally exploded with various other "open letters" to Mrs. Hall, to the teenage girls she is supposedly addressing and to anyone and everyone who read her post and had an "Uhh, what the...?" kind of reaction to it.  I don't have much to add to the conversation that has not been said in the above posts, but suffice it to say I believe that it is this kind of perpetuating of our sexual stereotypes that leads to....

3. THIS! A university's frosh week with 80 student leaders, "leading" 300-400 students into their new lives on campus with a chant about rape. Seriously people, I wish I was kidding. I wish the St. Mary's student union president had not called this chant an "oversight". I wish that just because something has been done "for years" doesn't mean that is is OK and should be continued. I wish that sending a daughter to university didn't mean having to send her with a rape-whistle and a talk about NEVER walking back to her room at residence alone at night. And I hope that this is indeed a teachable moment for these students and for all of us about the pervasiveness of sexism and rape-culture in our {children's} worlds!

4. And then I read something like this and my faith is somewhat restored and I know that the daughters we are all raising will be stronger. That one day very soon, they will be the confident, wonderful, intelligent and fierce women that this world needs!

5. This one has nothing to do with feminism. I just think that this might be the most ridiculously awesome thing I have seen on the internet in ages. And I like foxes!

[youtube]http://youtu.be/jofNR_WkoCE[/youtube]

Happy Friday everyone!

natasha~

(Update: If you have a few hours, Jenna Hatfield at Blogher did a nice round-up of most of the responses to the original post in #2.)

Feminist Fare Fridays

The internet loves alliterations. Or maybe it is just me. Either way, I needed a way to share some of the writing, posts, videos and general feminist happenings of the week all in one place and on a regular basis for all of you to enjoy. So as of this day, Fridays on the blog shall be known as Feminist Fare Fridays.

I will share with you a small collection of the weeks best (and sometimes worst) feminist musings and a short commentary on each one. And depending on how you look at it, a quick perusal of my twitter timeline tells me that I picked a good week to start.

1. #solidarityisforwhitewomen  I am sure you have seen this hashtag on Twitter at some point this past week and wondered what it was all about. If looking at that timeline makes you feel even a bit uncomfortable at all, you gotta let that feeling sink in. THAT is the point of it. For a more in-depth look at what the catalyst was for this particular conversation and what is evolving from it, please check out this post from the hashtag creator, Mikki Kendall and follow her on Twitter at @karnythia. My hope is that one day #solidarity can truly be for ALL, but first, we need to really listen to each other and perhaps lean in to that uncomfortable feeling and acknowledge what exactly that means.

2. I found this video through my daily Upworthiest emails. It is a TEdX talk given by renowned Nigerian novelist, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie earlier this year and while she is talking about feminism in Africa, her message about what we teach our children and our expectations based on their genders, really hit home for me. We really should all be feminists!

[youtube]http://youtu.be/hg3umXU_qWc[/youtube]

3. And why exactly should we all be feminists? If the video above has not convinced you, please let this one do it.

[youtube]http://youtu.be/3pdbnzFUsXI[/youtube]

Granted this is a small sampling of random people off the street, but that gives this video even more punch. And by punch, I mean to the gut of every woman who has fought long and hard to be treated with respect, and dignity, and equality not just for herself, but for all women! Next time someone asks you if you consider yourself a feminist, especially if you are a woman, think about why you even have the right to speak up and answer that question!

4. The most ridiculous reason I have ever heard to not want to breastfeed was written this past week by a professor of Gender Studies. It is no surprise to anyone who is a regular reader that I am a staunch breastfeeding advocate or that I nursed both my children for 3  and 4.5 years respectively. Is breastfeeding a gender dividing act? Yes, it is. My husband, along with most men, does not produce milk from his mammary tissue, I do. Does this one act, this one aspect of parenting, help to reinforce the social differences between men and women and moms and dads? NO. I do not think it does. Social biases and gender differences and how you address these in your family go far beyond breastfeeding. Come up with a better reason to not breastfeed, Professor, cause I am not buying this one! And seriously, by your own logic, perhaps we should do a "runaround of our bodies to ensure equity" when it comes to the great gender dividing act of pregnancy too. Sheesh!

5. I like Craig Ferguson. There, I said it. And I like this. He's figured out WHY EVERYTHING SUCKS! And while this may not be a particularly feminist topic, perhaps in some way, it is. Media and advertisers still show us and tell us what and who we should aspire to be like...

[youtube]http://youtu.be/ROJKEwYEx8Q[/youtube]

I for one will not bow down to the Gods of youth and stupidity!

Have a great weekend everyone!

natasha~