It was a two-post-year...
You read that right. I mean, if you are even around here to read anymore!
Sheesh.
WORST. BLOGGER. EVER!!
I swear I had such good intentions to get back here and write more.
But alas, 2019 was the year of “other things”.
I mean, the year wasn’t a total bust. I did start a brand new consulting business and have been flexing my creative muscles in areas related to other peoples and businesses social profiles and online spaces. And I did it without completely going in the red, so, whooHOOO for me!
But to be honest, it was a rough year for me physically and emotionally. I spent the first 6 months of it in a constant fog of pain, running from this therapy to another and back again. I swear to all the goddesses, if someone had told me sacrificing an animal to the old gods and bathing in its blood would have helped, I would have tried it. I’ve likely spent the equivalent of half a years salary on all kinds of therapies and treatments and no, you can’t direct bill my insurance company because I blew past my yearly limits in 2 months! Let’s just say it was a very physically, emotionally and financially exhausting first half of the year.
I am VERY happy to report that the latter 5 months of 2019 were MUCH better. This is thanks to a winning combination of intense coaching, reframing, therapy, and brilliant personal training, I am feeling stronger than I ever have in the last three years and I am llooking forward to being able to DO so much more in 2020. I JUMPED the other day and I felt like a 2-year old who just figured out they could do that!
It has also been a year of this…
I am here to tell you that YES, it is indeed perimenopause and wow, is this ever a ride no one talks about! I mean sure we talk about “the change”, but what about the ~5 years before “the change” when your body is preparing you for “the change”, and by preparing I mean throwing you every flipping curve ball it can possibly think of: chin hairs, PIMPLES, something called adenomyosis (which essentially feels like your uterus, on its way to its eventual demise, is bound and determined to take you with it with as much pain as possible!) just to name a few. Oh and did I mention the migraines? No? WELL, THERE ARE MIGRAINES. BIG, UGLY, all day in bed, DO NOT TURN ON THE LIGHTS or talk to me or make me move kind of migraines. So, yeah, this has been going on too and it took me a while to find the tools to help with all of it. Acupuncture is a big one and I can’t say enough about my acupuncturist and how much she has helped me in just a few short months. I braced myself for the migraines and the debilitating cramps last month and you know what? NADA! It was such a welcome surprise that I kept just waiting for all the PMS and it did not happen. Here’s hoping it keeps working! Change is good and I am also going to embrace this time in my life, ease into it with as much grace as I can, and learn what I can from it and share these lessons with everyone. (Fair warning - it could get graphic!)
I mentioned REFRAMING a few paragraphs back and I want to tell you more about this and how much it has helped me approach all aspects of my life this past year (and moving forward). The simple truth of life is that, we are what we say we are. I am tired, I can’t do this, I am weak, I am not doing enough, I am a fraud, I am too busy, I can’t jump (see above). I have said all of these things and more (worse) to myself over the years and have been convinced of their truth. And I am here today to tell you and, let’s be honest, to tell myself once again, that none of these things are true. Jillian taught me about reframing and it’s the best lesson I think I have ever learned. I am what I say I am and this reframing of negative thoughts is a powerful kind of magic. I didn’t have a crazy busy holiday season, I had an abundant one full of friends, family, food and love. I am not weak, I am building new strength in my body after seasons of dis- or mis-use. I am not a fraud, I am taking the time to educate myself and become the best I can be in my chosen professions. I CAN FREAKING JUMP!!
(I just want to point out that the power of blogging or journalling or writing in any sense whether for public consumption or for my eyes only is seeing these words on the page and then FEELING them and knowing the truth in them.)
So, yes, it was a two-post-year. Because it had to be. Because the path back here, to words, to stories I believe in, to a me I believe in, had to be cleared. There is still some clearing to do and as always, I am a work in progress, but I am back baby! And I can’t wait to continue this journey of writing and sharing and growing. I hope you’ll stay with me.
Oh yeah, also, I just turned 48! Happy Birthday to me.
XOXO,
N~
P.S. This site will be changing in the next few months. I will continue to feature my writing and will incorporate all the details about my consulting and business services as well. It’s going to be great! I can’t wait for you to see it!