Spring Fever

It is definitely spring in my neck of the woods this week. And to further prove that point, it seems that my mind and my body have gone into full-fledged Spring Fever mode. The result... ....I want another baby!

I think.

I mean I am pretty sure I do. Natural Urban Dad is not so sure. We are not quite on the same page just yet in this regard, either way. I keep telling him that three is the new two and he keeps telling me that he needs us to just settle into our life and not add more stressors to it.

I see his point and I know what he means. For us having babies is not always an easy ride. I have to be off my RA meds, a certain, ahem, device needs to be removed, and then well there is the whole getting pregnant part (fun) and then the pregnancy part (can be fun, but is often not for me).

Add to the equation the fact that I am a soon to be 40 year old woman and the risks that that entails with pregnancy and really it does look like the cards are stacked against me.

Yet still, my heart, my mind and my body yearn for another baby.

Maybe I am just ovulating and have a huge hormone surge happening right now. Or maybe all the oxytocin that has floated around in my system for the last four years of breastfeeding has effectively erased my memories of how tough this job really is.

And maybe, just maybe I am seeing my babies grow up and need me less and less (L refused to let me help her down the stairs today) and that realization, although wonderful for them and their developing little minds, is a bittersweet one for me.

A little delirious with {spring} fever, Natasha~