On butterflies and unlucky numbers.
Do you ever wake up and have that feeling in your gut that SOMETHING is going to happen?
Like you have butterflies in your belly, but you don't know why.
Everything around you feels like it is in super sharp focus and you are just waiting....
for something.
Or maybe I am confusing that feeling with having had too much coffee and the uneasiness is simply a caffeine rush and I have to poop.
Either way, this is how I have been feeling since Sunday.
It could be the change in the season affecting me, as it tends to do this time of year, and the tingling in my brain and my belly is that of increased anxiety and the onset of SAD.
October is kind of a weird month for me. The fall colours surrounding me are soothing, as is the crisp air I inhale deeply as I walk Willow every day. It is a month of celebration in our house with Seven's (soon to be Eight's) birthday, Canadian Thanksgiving, and our wedding anniversary.
It's also the month of preparing for winter. Putting away the yard furniture, raking up all the leaves and making an appointment to get the winter tires installed. And while I like to be proactive about these things, so I don't get stuck at the bottom of the hill by our house during that first big snowfall - AGAIN! It also feels like I am reaching for those last days of sun, of playing outside with only one layer of clothes on and soaking up the last bits of our way to short fall season, on our way to a long, dark, winter.
This month also marks our 13th wedding anniversary. I've always thought of the number 13 as unlucky, mostly from buying into the usual superstitions, and all that Friday the 13th movie stuff as a kid. And possibly because I got my damn period when I was 13 - so you know, that was great. When I think about it, something feels a bit off in celebrating this "unlucky" number. In an effort to turn around my thinking and subdue any silly superstitions, I've been researching the numerology meaning of 13, and lo and behold, it is surprisingly fitting for where we are in our lives:
“The number 13 in numerological terms is (1+3=4). Thirteen describes a pattern of new beginnings (1) + creative expression (3) = building and structure (4). It is actually a theme of solid, grounding movement. So in essence, number 13 is a strong vibration representing organization and accomplishment in a creative and unique way. ”
I can't think of a better way to describe our life right now. New beginnings, and building, and creative expression - yup, that is us. New house and renovation, the kids starting a new school year, and ahem... as of tomorrow, a new job for yours truly.
This "new" development is also contributing to my October anxiety/butterflies. I didn't quite plan on getting a job outside the home this year, and I have to admit that this one kind of fell onto my lap in the most serendipitous of ways. It's a job taking me back to my sales roots (retail), in a place I love to shop, and working for a strong, incredible woman whom I admire, and whose philosophy I believe in.
As I sit here and watch the leaves change and fall, and the tall grasses sway in the breeze of this cool fall day, I am trying to reframe my usual October anxiety and embrace the butterflies. I am breathing deep into by belly, and getting ready for new patterns in our lives. I am choosing to open myself up, rather than cocoon into hibernation-mode as I traditionally do at this time.
Basically, what I am saying is:
Or at least I will...
Soon.
XO,
N~
Feminist Fare Friday: The "women are not just for nurturing" Edition
This week I feel like I basically did nothing.
In reality, I did the following:
- Folded the Laundry
- Watched the first US Presidential Debate.
- Had two house meetings
- Took the dog to get groomed
- Got groomed myself - a haircut that is.
- Went birthday shopping for the upcoming October/November B-day avalanche!
- Picked up dog food
- Got a part-time job*
- Went for a massage
- And read, A LOT!
Here are the ones that really stuck out for me and I really want you to read too.
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1. I firmly believe that as a consumer in today's world, I have a responsibility to do some due diligence with where I choose to spend my money. I am a big proponent of shopping locally as much as possible,and looking into the companies that make the clothes that my family wears. And as much as I love the cute T-shirts, low prices, the lovely new Home line at H&M, I can't in good conscience shop there anymore. Sirin Kale reports on the employment conditions for women in the H&M factories in Cambodia and India this week in Broadly.
“Structural factors make it almost impossible for people to escape their low pay and insecure conditions. Almost all the factories in Cambodian capital Phnom Penh employed people on short-term contracts of one to three months, meaning that anyone who stepped out of line (for example, by asking for sick days, refusing overtime or, god forbid, are even a little late for work one day) might not have their contract renewed.”
2. I know that a lot of people opted to NOT watch the first US Presidential debate on Monday for their own mental well-being, and if that was you - let me tell you that you made a good choice and I hope you enjoyed whatever it was that you watched on Netflix instead. I DID watch it. From the comfort of my handsome-feminist-"because it is 2016"-Justin-Trudeau-run Canada. Hillary was amazing, not just because she was HELLA prepared (TO BE PRESIDENT Y'ALL!), but also because not once did she stoop to his level. But, was it enough? Will it ever be enough? As Larry Womack at The Huffington Post points out, everyone needs to stop pretending they don't know the REAL reason people have such a hate-on for Hillz.
“It’s time to stop pretending that this is about substance. This is about an eagerness to believe that a woman who seeks power will say or do anything to get it. This is about a Lady MacBeth stereotype that, frankly, should never have existed in the first place. This is about the one thing no one wants to admit it’s about.”
3. While we are on the topic of the US presidential race and you are still an undecided voter, I highly encourage you to read this post from my friend Vikki Reich and think about what your vote means, not just for you, but for the people all around you.
“May you never wonder what will happen to your family as a result of an election.
May you never have to comfort your children in the face of such uncertainty.
May you never know the fear that comes with waiting as the majority votes on the rights of minorities, on your rights.”
4. I do love me a good clap back. Outdoor Research TOTALLY wins the shade toss this week with their response to a ridiculously sexist piece published in GQ. Ryan Flyss at TheDyrt.com did the side by side of both pieces, and I need to give all the STANDING O's to Outdoor Research for their very thorough and subtle, but IMPACTFUL response. Way to call out sexism peeps!
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Ok, that's it folks, I am off to meet my new boss*.
Have a great weekend!
N~
Feminist Fare Friday: The "Delayed because I was in the ER" Edition
I had BIG plans for Friday this week. I was going to get so much done.....
And then I ended up in the emergency room because I dislocated my hip - again. You can read my account of it here. (I was really high on quite the concoction of narcotics l when I wrote that, so I apologize for any typos and rambling.) My little friend and I are now hobbling around feeling super sore and still kinda groggy.
Here is the round-up for this week. A couple of days late, and short, but both of these are longer reads and important pieces I really wanted to share with you.
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1. Just so you know, if I find a dress or a great skirt and it has pockets, I WILL BUY IT! And this fascinating read from Chelsea G. Summers at Racked about the Politics of Pockets gives me even more reasons to DEMAND pockets in all my clothing. Clothing designers - listen up!!
“...a 1954 Christian Dior bon mot: “Men have pockets to keep things in, women for decoration.” Tease apart that quote and you get a fairly essentialist view of gender roles as they play out in clothing. Men’s dress is designed for utility; women’s dress is designed for beauty. It’s not a giant leap to see how pockets, or the lack thereof, reinforce sexist ideas of gender. Men are busy doing things; women are busy being looked at. Who needs pockets?”
2. Ok, as hard as this is, I have to admit something. When I first heard that the police officer charged with manslaughter in the shooting death of Terence Crutcher was a woman, I was... I don't know... disappointed? Disheartened? I asked the question, Why a woman? And then I quickly gave my head a shake and let go of all my white privilege and my white lady tears falling once again on to the easy road of identifying more with the white female officer, than with the innocent black man who was gunned down for being "a big scary dude". Terence Crutcher should not be dead. Police officers should be there to HELP people with car trouble. Officer Betty Shelby should be charged. She killed a man. FOR NO REASON, OTHER THAN HER WHITE LADY FEAR OF THE BIG BLACK MAN.
I know a lot of you may have been feeling these same things. It's OK. You can feel these things, BUT.... NOW YOU HAVE TO FIGURE OUT WHY YOU FEEL THIS WAY, CONFRONT YOUR OWN WHITE PRIVILEGE AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
My friend Syreeta Neal lays this all out for us in her piece at The Establishment this week. PLEASE READ THIS. IT IS SO VERY IMPORTANT.
“Yes, white women are oppressed by patriarchy and misogyny. Yes, they are oppressed by male-dominated power structures. But white women are also fully capable of oppressing Black Americans and have been doing so both consciously and unconsciously for centuries. In order to change that, one must first acknowledge it.”
Oh, and if you are worried about Officer Betty being in jail - DON'T, she was arrested, booked and out on bail all within 13 minutes and never saw the inside of a jail cell.
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Okay, that's enough for today. It's been a rough week folks. Let's do better going forward, okay?
N~
a letter to my readers about our comfort zones
My Dear Readers,
It's hard for me to write anything this week without it feeling trite.
How can I write anything when in the span of 48 hours, two new hashtags where created from dead black men's names. #TerenceCrutcher and #KeithLamontScott.
Men killed because one had a broken down car and looked "like a bad dude" and the other for "fitting the description" and reading a book in his car.
The list of things that can get you killed while black is growing.
I say this not to be flippant about these deaths, but to illustrate just how fucked up this reality is for every black and brown person in the United States.. For three days now, I've read status update after status update from my black and brown friends who fear leaving the house or watching their husbands and sons go off to work and school, not knowing if they will come home or if they will be that day's new hashtag. One friend has a teenage son who sleep walks and she woke the other night to the sound of him leaving the house. Think about that for a minute. I get nauseous imagining her fear for him.
I've read updates that start with "If I am killed by the police, know this....",
I've watched videos of my friends crying, BEGGING for the violence and the killing to stop. Not knowing what to do or how to tell their young children about the very real possibility the public servants who are sworn to protect the populace, may in fact be the biggest threat to their lives.
That the colour of their skin, the size of their bodies, the fit of their clothes, the tone of their voice, are all things that automatically condemn them. But mostly - the colour of their skin.
We now know, even with all the proper behaviour, the respectful compliance, with hands up, and calm measured speech, black bodies will still be seen as a threat and as such, poorly trained police officers will default to pulling the trigger first and figuring out the "story" afterwards. They will be put on administrative leave with pay, and rarely will anyone be held accountable for the ever increasing deaths that lay at the feet of police forces in the USA.
I know a lot of people don't want to talk about this. It's too ugly, it's too tragic, they can't handle anymore bad news about another black person being killed for doing nothing more than BEING BLACK. They turn off notifications on those kinds of posts or unfollow, but not unfriend, the people sharing them. They feel it is too removed from their reality and therefore don't think about it too much.
This is a problem my dear readers. The THEY I am talking about is US. And this is our WHITE PRIVILEGE in action. This is us standing back because it's not white people being shot for having a broken down car, or reading a book while waiting for their kid to be out of school, or being 13 years old playing with a BB gun. We feel like it's not our place to say anything, to DO anything. That if we are respectfully quiet, all will go back to "normal"... eventually.
But I ask you... What is normal? Because, it's not as if the racism we are seeing now thanks to the immediacy of the internet and social media is NEW. It's just come up to the surface, it's been exposed, it's making us ALL take a good hard look at WHAT IT IS LIKE TO BE BLACK IN AMERICA and we can't ignore it anymore. Or, I mean you can and that is your choice, but I will tell you straight up, if this is how you feel, then YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM.
I am asking you not to do this. I am asking you to go to that place that makes you feel uncomfortable, to do some soul searching, uncover your own racial biases, and question yourself and why you think/feel that way? Sit with that for a bit, decide how you can change these thoughts and feelings, and then make a commitment to do better.
Ok, you've gotten this far, good. Thank you. Now here are your next steps:
Start reading writing from Black writers who are out there every day, writing about their realities, their experiences, while also getting harassed (online and off) and called every bad thing you can think of, and who never give up. People like Ijeoma Oluo and Luvvie Ajayi and Kelly Wickham Hurst. Follow folks like Deray McKesson and Mikki Kendall on Twitter, and Son of Baldwin and Black Lives Matter on Facebook.
(I post a lot from all of the above on my Facebook page, so you can start there.)
Ok. Step three in this process is to walk the walk. Put your money where your mouth is. LITERALLY. Donate to organizations that are working to change the system. This is a pretty good list of organizations who could use your support and who are working towards that goal and can use all the help they can get.
If money it tight and a donation is out of the question, donate your time. Go to a rally, attend a protest march. Like Luvvie points out in the post I linked to above, "Be on the frontlines, showing that you have a vested interest in the well-being of Black and brown people. Do not monopolize the space but be present, so that those protesting can SEE allies. So that those people in riot gear can see faces that look like theirs."
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This is going to take some work, my lovely readers. It's going to take more than words, more than Likes and Retweets and exploding heart emojis. I mean, sure, those will help, especially if you have a platform and can use it to move people to action, then yes, do that. Do that a lot! Amplify the shit out of the above writers and activists and others like them.
And here is when I will ask even more from you...
I ask that you don a Social Justice Warrior hat, wear it with pride and start doing the work close to home. Check in on your black friends and make sure they have the supports they need to process these tragedies. Have the difficult conversations with family members and friends who continue to perpetuate racial stereotypes, and tout the "but, but, but.... #alllivesmatter" banner. Call out the dude at work making jokes and then defaulting to the gaslighting defences of "black on black crime" and "we don't know the facts, we should wait for the authorities to tell us what happened" BULLSHIT. Don't tell your kids "we don't see colour", because that's a load of crap and your kids are not stupid. Talk to them about what is happening - this article has some great tips for white parents of white kids.
One final comment. You WILL mess up with one or more of the things I have asked of you. I know I have and I will again. It is OK to stumble, just don't give up. Get back up and try again. My wonderful friend Elisa told me the other day that I needed to be more visual and vocal about our friendship (yes, she is black), and about my own inter-racial marriage. SHE CHALLENGED ME TO BE A BETTER ALLY.
Race is not an easy thing to talk about, mainly because we've been conditioned not to, and it is time we changed this. We have to start talking, and then doing, and challenging others to talk and DO, and so on, and so on, and so on, and so on, AND SO ON....
We have to Fabergé the fuck out of our allyship, until no more black and brown bodies are being shot and killed in the streets in what is starting to look very much like state-sanctioned murder. Until the systems that uphold BOTH racism and white privilege are toppled and rebuilt, then and only then can we truly say that all lives matter AND MEAN IT!
NOW, MY LOVELIES.... OFF YOU GO!
GET TO WORK.
EVERY LITTLE BIT HELPS.
In solidarity and love,
Natasha~
Parent Life Hack #1: The Laundromat.
It's the beginning of September. A new school year is starting. And the scariest FIVE words any parent can hear, (besides "We are out of coffee."), are...
OUR WASHING MACHINE IS BROKEN!
We have been without a functioning washing machine in our house for almost 4 weeks. On the surface this sounds like an absolute nightmare. A family of four, two of whom have at least two clothing changes a day for different activities, and one who also happens to be entering the stinky tween time of his life, and yes, this is not ideal.
Add to that a week and a half of everyone having some kind of illness that kept them in bed with fever, chills, and hacking up a lung or two, and the inability to clean linens at the drop of a hat does become an even bigger inconvenience.
During this time, I've had offers from many neighbours and friends to come and use their laundry rooms and I've taken up a few on their offers, but it always feels like an imposition, no matter how much they tell me otherwise.
Then I discovered The Laundromat.
Now, some of you might think, "What do you mean you 'discovered' the laundromat? Haven't you ever gone to one before? What kind of silver spoon life have you led woman?"
I can honestly say that I haven't ever been to one. I've never needed to. In all the apartments, basement suites, and condos I've inhabited throughout my life, laundry facilities were always in-suite or available one floor away. I've never had to cart my dirty underthings (and everything else) to another building to clean it.
The first time I went to the local place (after checking out the reviews on Yelp, of course), I needed help figuring out the machines. Luckily, I must have had NEWBIE tattooed somewhere on my face, because the gentleman running the place came over and told me which machines to use and even helped me get them all started.
That day I put three loads of laundry in at the same time, went across the street to a new antique mall I hadn't seen before to browse around for a bit, and then came back 30 minutes later to put all three in the dryers for another 30 minutes. I read a few articles on my phone while I waited, and then I was done.
It was an AHA! moment people.
What would have taken my fancy front loading machine 3+ hours (not including the drying) to wash at home, was done in 1 hour! Sure it cost me almost $20 in loonies (washers are minimum $4/wash these days), but if we count both the time saved, and the time I got to spend wandering the aisles of the antique mall, ALONE, it was well worth it!
Our washing machine repairs were delayed twice because the first repair guy just didn't show up (and yes, my Window of service was 8-4 PM) and then yet another week while we waited for a part to come in. And so, this past week, I headed back to The Laundromat once again. This time I had 5 BIG loads to do. All our clothes for the past 2 weeks, as well as every germ-covered dirty towel and bed sheet too. I hit up the place right after lunch, used the jumbo washers, and once again, had everything washed and dried within just over an hour. While everything was washing/drying, I also managed to pick up dog food, stock up on toiletries for my husband and I, buy a cute new top for myself, AND finish up last week's #FeministFareFriday post!
I can tell you with 100% certainty, none of that would have gotten done had I been doing the laundry at home!
I am happy to say that our wonderful (NEW) appliance repair person came yesterday and replaced the broken part and once again, I can take the usual 4-5 days to get all the laundry done in the comfort of my own home. You know the drill, wash a load, forget about it, wash it again, finally put it in the dryer, and then let it sit in a basket for another day or so.
Or, just maybe, I've discovered a great little life hack, and when I am feeling like I want to be a bit more productive (or I want an hour ALL TO MYSELF), I might start hitting up The Laundromat a bit more regularly.
I really does smell nice in there.
N~
chocolate
My child loves chocolate.
Now, yes, I know, most kids like chocolate, this is really not big news in the grand scheme of things, but Nine's relationship with chocolate started even before he was born.
Ours was a complicated pregnancy. From 26 weeks on, I had weekly and then daily NST (non-stress testing) done. For those who don't know, NST is a "simple, noninvasive way of checking on your baby's health. The test records your baby's movement, heartbeat, and contractions. It notes changes in heart rhythm when your baby goes from resting to moving, or during contractions if you're in labor." They strap monitors on your belly and watch the readout on the screen or paper for a few minutes and then your done.
Except when you are me and my little fetus dude. Because of our various complications, he wasn't overly active in utero. I didn't feel the flutter of baby kicks until I was very far along in the pregnancy, and we often had to wait up to a half hour or more to get an NST readout that the perinatal clinic staff was happy with.
Until one day, one of the nurses had a brilliant idea. Someone had brought in cake for a birthday in the clinic and she asked me if I wanted to have a piece. Asking a pregnant woman if she wants cake is like asking someone who was lost in the desert if they want water. "Umm... DUH, HELLS YES! Please."
She left and a few minutes later came back with a giant piece of some kind of Triple Fudge Chocolate three-layered monstrosity of a cake. It was glorious!
By this time, I had been at the clinic for a good 45 minutes with little to no movement from our little bean, and I knew the nurses were getting antsy, and on the verge of calling in the neonatologist.
I took three bites of the glorious cake, and within five minutes, Nine started doing what felt like back flips inside my uterus. And the more cake I ate, the more he shimmied and shook around. We passed that day of Non-Stress Testing (really, such a dumb name for it, because HELLO - it is totally STRESSFUL!) and from that day until he was born, I made sure to have some kind of chocolate in my bag for all subsequent tests - also because I was pregnant dammit!
Thus began my child's intense love affair with chocolate...
His next full experience ingesting chocolate was for his first birthday. I made this all my myself and was so proud of it. As you can see, he is about to dive into it and totally destroy my masterpiece in 5 seconds flat!
Just let me have my cake woman!
When I was tandem nursing him and his younger sister, he would often tell me that Seven's breast had regular milk and his side had chocolate milk. (Yes, for some reason they each had a preferred side. I assume it was the chocolate factor.)
Nine has always been on the wee side of growth charts, and my Mother-In-Law took it upon herself early on to be the one to fatten him up and sneak him as many Lindor Chocolates as possible without me knowing. He has her wrapped around his little chocolate-fanangling little finger, knows where she keeps her secret stash, and bats his ridiculously long eyelashes at her, and asks for a couple every chance he gets! She's contributed to this creation of a chocolate monster and really can't deny him anything at this point.
All this chocolate-inspired reminiscing has been brought to you by our most recent family date night. Something we do at least once a month. We try new restaurants in the city for dinner and afterwards, head to our favourite spot for dessert and chai lattes.
No cake for you Mom!
This is Nine REFUSING to share his beloved chocolate cake with me, his Mama! The one who introduced him to the wonderful world of chocolate, who buys the big bag of Brookside chocolate covered berries at Costco and keeps it hidden for just the two of us, and who still tries her best to make him the chocolate cake creation he requests for his birthday every year.
Little ungrateful bugger!
;)
N~
Feminist Fare Friday: #facepalm MEN! Edition.
Oh my goodness people! I have had a week. Or rather, my family has. Apparently when we decide to come down with a nasty cold virus, we like to do it all at once! I've gone through two bottles of kid Tylenol this week, and downed a fair amount of the stuff myself.
As a result, our collective productivity as a family unit has been severely compromised. I am banging out a few posts today to catch up on my personal challenge to publish once a day (during the week) for all of September.
I won't bore you anymore with all of my woes, because there was so much great stuff on the internet this week, and you have some reading to do!
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1. I really love Shannon Barber. Everything she writes makes me THINK and QUESTION my life, my choices, and especially my privilege. Her Open letter to Readers about diversity, published on Medium this past week, is no different. And, I just realized I made an assumption recently about my own avid new reader, and assumed (incorrectly) he wouldn't want to read a book with a female protagonist. WHAT THE HELL NATASHA!? (I know right, I had to really shake my head at myself about that one.)
“The space for different stories and voices, is infinite. Whether it is fiction, essays, reportage, online think pieces, interviews-there is room for all of it. And we know that because ask any Reader how much stuff to choose from is too much and a lot of us will rub our hands together and get our evil laugh on, it could look like this: (Y’ALL I FORGOT THE BEST GODDAMN PART)”
2. Look, I know we all love Barack Obama and will miss him and Michelle like no one's business, but he is still a dude, and has been surrounded by many more dudes during his time in the White House. The few women who did get into the inner circle had a pact, a system of being heard and I think it is brilliant. I also think it sucks that they had to have this system, but at least it kept them heard and recognized. Small things like this CAN lead to big changes.
“Female staffers adopted a meeting strategy they called “amplification”: When a woman made a key point, other women would repeat it, giving credit to its author. This forced the men in the room to recognize the contribution — and denied them the chance to claim the idea as their own.”
3. Oh Lordy! Donald Trump has unveiled his "Child Affordability Plan". GAWD! What a stupid name that is - oops, sorry, not the point. The point is that the GOP stupid-ass candidate is just as sexist as always, and has unveiled a plan to give MOTHERS paid leave. "Uh, cuz that's what the women folk do-take care of babies. I love women, and they love me. Really." (Okay, I made that quote up, but he totally could have said it.) Anywhooo... ARGGH, I get so mad whenever I talk about him! Which is why you should read what Avital Norman Nathman had to say in Rolling Stone about Trump's proposed policy and what it really means for parents in the US.
“...there are some glaring problems with his plan. For instance, in allotting six weeks of maternity care, Trump completely neglects half of all parents: fathers. Even putting aside the paltry six weeks of leave Trump’s plan calls for (Hillary Clinton’s plan proposes 12 weeks of paid family leave, and the average paid leave policy around the world is around 15 weeks), it’s still incredible that in Trump’s America, only women are allowed to take time off for a new baby.”
4. THIS IS THE BEST THING ON THE INTERNET RIGHT NOW! Poor, poor Robert.
5. On most Tuesday evenings, you can find me on Dinner Television as a member of the #ParentPanel. This past week we discussed the case of #TeacherBAE, aka, Patrice Brown and her so called "inappropriate" wardrobe. I made the point on air, that Miss Brown wasn't being policed because of her clothing, she was being policed because of her body. Her curvy, black body. Preston Mitchum at the Root.com delved into this in much more detail and it is well worth a read.
“The truth is that we find Brown attractive and can’t help looking at her curvy body because of our own problematic male gaze. Instead of being honest about that, we impute our inappropriate thoughts to her young students. These are students we could easily teach not to objectify women and girls. Instead, many of us are using this as an opportunity to put down our faux progressive cards and pick up a conservative one—just to police attire on a curvy woman because we have bought into respectability politics.”
5. I love Kristen Bell. Her silly obsession with sloths, my discovery of Veronica Mars after I turned 40, and her foul-mouthed character on House of Lies. She and I should hang. For realsies. (Hook a girl up if anyone knows her OKAY?)
And now she did this! MWAH! I love you KBELL!!
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Ok, my lovelies.
Have a great weekend.
(There may be a few surprise posts this weekend, so check back tomorrow and Sunday. I have to catch up now that the plague has {hopefully} vacated our bodies and our house!)
XO,
N~
BONUS READ:
I just found this one from Rebecca Woolf over at Mom.me and it is brilliant.
“If you were to search “the art of rejecting,” which I have just now done, you will find 34,700,000 results. The only problem? They’re mostly about how to deal with “REJECTION,” not how to be a better “REJECTOR.” This is problematic to me.
It’s problematic because, like many other human beings out there, I have struggled my whole life with SAYING NO. I am actually really good at it now but only because I HAVE WORKED and WORKSHOPPED and matured into a scrappy no-shit-taker in my old age. In fact, I’m experiencing a bit of a NOPE-AISSANCE in my ability to reject things/people/ideas I think are full of shit. I am also still recovering from many of the instances I should have said no but said yes. That said, my inability to say NO was, for many years, a struggle for me.”