A letter to my daughter.

My dearest L, We've started talking about it.

About you growing up and getting to be a big girl now.

I see you taking so many steps and leaps into life that only a few short months ago, I know would have been impossible for you to navigate.

Today, I dropped you off for your first ever day of summer camp and I was SO worried. I was worried that you would not want to participate. That you would not let me leave you there with your camp leaders for the few hours of fun and learning.

But I was wrong.

You put that bike helmet on, told your Bike Camp instructor your name and with a big smile and a wave back at me, took off with the rest of the kids.

I stuck around for a bit, just to make sure you settled in OK {and to be honest, more for my peace of mind than yours}. But there was really no need, because you my girl, ROCKED IT!

And I am so proud of you.

We have also started talking about you going to preschool in the Fall and how when that happens and because you will be such a big girl then...

...that we are going to stop nursing.

And I know that you my beautiful girl will likely be far more OK with this decision and transition than me, the grown up. For you it is another milestone. A stepping stone on your amazing flower strewn path of life and a beginning of a new phase of self-discovery. For me it is going to be something a little different.

It is an end of something for Mommy. Something that has meant more to me than I ever, in my wildest dreams, could have imagined it would mean. And I may be a bit sad about it.

But I know in my heart that it is time. It is time that we both take those big girl steps and grow up a bit. You into the super-girl preschooler that I know you are going to be and me into the mama of two KIDS and no longer the mama of babies.

I hope that one day we can both look back on these days fondly. That you will remember nursing and how it made you feel. How you liked to snuggle into me, take a deep inhale and say that I smelled like boobie-breasts - your sly little hint that you wanted to nurse.

I want you to know that this experience with first your big brother and then you, has shaped me in more ways that you can imagine.

Nursing you has made me a more patient mama. A more present mama. And a more pragmatic mama too. YOU made me just BE in a way that I wasn't doing before you. And I am not sure I can ever thank you properly for that.

I see so much of myself in you my girl. We look similar, we have similar mannerisms, and yet, there you are, your own little person. Your creative spirit, your sillyness, the way you thank me every night without prompting for "making a delicious dinner" and for the way you hold my hand so tightly when we are out and about.

There are so many things about you that make my heart swell and I know that this is a list that is just going to keep on growing as you do too.

And although you are leaving the realms of baby and toddler-hood behind and taking me with you, know this my child...

You will always be my beautiful baby girl!

Love you forever and ever and ever,

Mommy~

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This is my Day 6 post for the Summer Blog Challenge. Yes, yes I know.. it's a day late.

Please visit my fellow bloggers and Psst... we all REALLY enjoy your comments!

Zita at The Dulock Diaries.

Meaghan at MagzD Life

April at This Mom’s Got Something to Say

Aramelle at One Wheeler’s World

 Jessica at 2plus2X2

and Liam at In the Now

I'm Sexy and I know it....

I have big boobs. It's true.

They kinda popped out the summer between Grade 8 and Grade 9. Like REALLY popped out!

And boys, men and some women too have been staring at them, talking about them, and trying to {and the privileged few getting to} touch them ever since!

I have know of the power of my boobs for a long time and yes, I was and am kind of obsessed with them. {Seriously, ask my friends, I really do love my girls!}

I spare no expense when it comes to housing them in the finest European bras (the ones that actually fit a gal with a 32 E bra size) and I highly recommend that all women go and get a proper bra fitting and a proper bra (I thought I was a 36 C before that!). None of this, buy 2 get 1 free {insert mall lingerie store here} cheap lingerie for my mammaries. ONLY the BEST!

I have always known the power of sexy that my breasts possessed, but I had no idea of their true powers until I birthed my first child. These two amazing appendages MAKE MILK! Amazing, nurturing, nourishing milk for my child!! And man, did he need it. At a mere 3 pounds 13 ounces he was a skinny little monkey. And my boobs? Well, they where easily twice the size of his tiny little jaundiced head!

See!

Breastfeeding a preemie is hard work. Heck, breastfeeding any baby is hard work. And it became abundantly clear very quickly that the sexy that I was feeling about my breasts a mere 9 months before this moment, while lounging on the beaches of St. Lucia (where said preemie child was conceived), was quickly replaced by wanting them to feel comfortable, not chafed or cracked or bleeding or thrush-ridden or plugged or all the other things that happened to me and my girls once we wholeheartedly embarked on this breastfeeding journey.

For a while, sexy left me. I wore the most basic of nursing bras and tank tops and focused all that I could on this little baby boy and making sure that my breasts and I were doing what we should and could to help him grow and thrive.

Around the 6-month mark, we finally got into our breastfeeding groove and had a good thing going on. Little C had grown enough so that boob and baby head were about equal in size and we found a position and a way to breastfeed that made us both happy. (Side-lying FTW!) It was around this time as well, that I started to lose more of my baby-weight and needed to update my wardrobe a bit.

And then... sexy started to creep back into my life. I was still fully committed to this breastfeeding gig, but now I wanted pretty nursing bras and matching undies. I wanted nursing tops that were not just over-sized t-shirts with a not so well-concealed or flattering boob flap or cut-out.  The search was on. I managed to find a few brands that I fell in love with and proceeded to buy a bra or top in every color or style that they had (Big shout out here to BOOB nursing wear and the amazing selection of nursing bras that they have at Milkface.com.) Having a nice nursing wardrobe serves two purposes in my mind. Number one, it makes a mama feel good about herself and the way she looks. And two, it makes it a lot easier to just keep on nursing for the long haul.

At this point you may be asking yourself, "Why is Natasha going on and on about her boobs again? And what is with all this 'feeling/looking sexy' talk?"  Well, it has recently come to my attention (HA! Insert sarcasm font here) that SEXY and BREASTFEEDING are two words that when placed together in a sentence (or a thought) make a lot of people VERY uncomfortable!

Case in point, THIS amazing photo.

Taken by a very talented Russian photographer, this image captures a wonderful breastfeeding moment with a beautiful and dare I say sexy Mama and her cute little chubster of a baby. Is it an art piece? Yes. Is it 'real life'? No, not for the majority of us. It is a photo shoot. Just like those newborn babies wrapped up in gauze and placed in a bowl pictures are not "real life"... this to me follows along those same lines. It is a shot taken to be shared or cherished of a time in their lives that was special and beautiful. End of story.

Or not...

There has been some talk over the interwebs that photos like this one, of an obviously very attractive woman nursing a child (and perhaps in a posed and not a "natural" position) only serves to perpetuate society's obsession with the 'sexualization' of breastfeeding. Just take the Time Magazine cover shot with the lovely, tall and gorgeous Jamie Lynn Grumet. Would the reaction to that particular cover photo been as dramatic, had the image they printed been one of what more people would associate with all us "crazy hippie"  attachment parents?  A barefooted, cross-legged sitting, hemp-skirt-wearing, no make-up, hair in a long braid (or better yet, in dreads) breastfeeding earth mother!!??

I just don't know...

What I do know is this. I LIKE to feel sexy.

Nothing gets me out of a frumpy, dumpy mood like having a shower, putting on my favourite {nursing} bra and matching undies and wearing something that really makes me feel and yes, even look sexy! And while I am out and about looking and feeling all sexy, chances are my daughter is going to want to nurse at some point. And wherever and whenever, I will nurse her. And perhaps because I am looking so fine, someone is gonna glance over and see me and think, "Damn that is one fine mama...oh, wait... What?? Is she nursing that baby? WTF? OMG!"

It really is a bit of a mind-fuck if you think about it.

And it has NOTHING whatsoever to do with the mother, the baby or the breastfeeding and EVERYTHING to do with the observer, or in the case of photos on the internet or on blog posts or on magazine covers, the reader.

It is a juxtaposition of two seemingly conflicting ideals that society holds.

That of the WOMAN and that of the MOTHER.

If you see a beautiful woman, your mind thinks a certain way. If you see a mother, your mind thinks a different way. (I am no student of psychology, but I am sure Freud or Jung or one of those guys had a lot to say about this whole topic!)

And herein lies the crux of the matter.

Mothers ARE women! Women ARE mothers. They are one and the same. They are beautiful, sexy, hot, smart, sassy, intelligent human beings. They are also caring, nurturing, loving, tender and protective beings.

They... WE, are all these things and then some. Just because someone can't wrap their head around the fact that a mom can be or look sexy or sultry or what have you AND be the mother that her child needs (and in this case and a lot of cases, a breastfeeding mother) is just a very sad state of affairs.

And it all really just comes right back to the boobs.

And yes, yes, we hear over and over again the same rhetoric, "Breasts are made for feeding babies." My question to everyone then is this? Have we forgotten that those same breasts probably had a lot to do with all that...ahem... fun stuff that was done to actually MAKE all these little nurslings?

Let's be real Mamas. Breasts are sexy!  YOU are sexy! And your breasts, well they make milk too! And sometimes you are a sexy mama feeding your baby with your breasts!

Nothing wrong with that!

Cheers and chest bumps Mamas and Happy first day of WORLD BREASTFEEDING WEEK!!

Natasha~

I'll  leave you with my favourite cover of LMFAO's 'I'm Sexy and I know it.'

Enjoy!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vsvlsuLau5c[/youtube]

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Today's post is Day ONE of my Summer Blog Challenge!

31 Days of posts coming your way this month!

And I have convinced at least one of my friends to join me.

Check out Meaghan's first post today at MagzD Life.

UPDATE at 10:30 PM:

Three more lovely bloggers are joining in on the fun!

Check out April's Day One post over at This Mom's Got Something to Say,

Liam's post over at In The Now,

and Zita's post on her blog, The Dulock Diaries.

{breastfeeding} Ignorance is not bliss.

I have been good. Really. I have.

No ranting, no attacking, no blood boiling posts written in haste.

I have applied the way more than 72 hours rule here and I feel like I can now reply to the whole TIME magazine cover photo and extended breastfeeding ridiculousness with somewhat of a level head.

But here is the thing...

I am not going to go on and on about the benefits of extended breastfeeding. You can read THIS or THIS for more on that.

I am not going to go on and on about why that particular photo of Jamie Lynn Grumet and her son was chosen for the most shock value on the cover of TIME. You can read Jamie's own words HERE.

I am not going to go on and on about what attachment parenting is and is not and if I or anyone else is MOM enough. {Psst, we all are and then some BTW!}

What I am going to do is provide some clarification on a few points. Points that have been made in some common and ignorant comments I have read on my own Facebook Page and on quite a few other blog posts and articles written on the topic since the TIME cover was revealed to the world.

Last week I posted this picture on my Natural Urban Mamas Facebook page. It is of my little L nursing and I captioned it,

"In case anyone was wondering... THIS is what a 3-year-old nursing USUALLY looks like!"

Common Ignorant Comment #1. "Get that kid a t-bone", "Why can't she drink out of a cup?", "2/3/4 year olds should be eating solid food and drinking out of a cup." And other variations on this theme.

Really people?? Do you really think that because a toddler or a child is nursing that THIS is their only source of nutrition? Wait! Maybe this is the case and this is really what people think! And perhaps this is why people are so weirded out by it. Because they have only ever seen infants nursing they just assume that if an older child is nursing, they are not actually eating other foods as well.

Okay, so let me clear this up then. Children who are nursing beyond a year are doing so IN ADDITION TO eating solid foods and drinking other liquids (water, juice and/or milk) from a sippy cup, regular cup or other implement for drinking. To be perfectly honest, I am not sure that I or most nursing moms could keep up with the nutritional demands of a busy, constantly moving and growing toddler. So YES, these babies are eating food, YES, they can drink out of a cup and NO, contrary to popular belief and a lot of comments, it really is not easier to pump some breast milk into a cup for them. It is far easier to let my daughter nurse for a few minutes, get what she needs (be that a drink of mama's milk, some comfort or just a check-in with mama) and then happily go on about her day.

Common Ignorant Comment #2: "You are doing this for your own needs, not those of your child."

This one I find interesting and I sent it out to the Twitterverse for more clarification from my peeps. Some of them agreed with the statement and others said things along these lines from @kimliving:

"I'm thinking those folks haven't watched my toddler insist on breastfeeding during those moments I'd rather not...

Here is the thing, I don't completely disagree with this statement. I do think that when the nay-sayers are spouting off this one they mean that as mothers, we are trying to extend the baby phase for our kids so that we can keep them 'little' longer. That we are avoiding the inevitable and not letting out babies grow up.

Is there an element of truth to this? Perhaps. L is my last baby. And while I love watching her grow and learn and discover new things about her world, I would be lying if I said I did not feel those tugs at my heart every time she seems to not NEED me as much anymore. That being said, I have to also say that breastfeeding her is not something that I NEED. It is something that SHE needs. She is the one who asks to nurse once or twice during the day, she is the one who crawls into my bed in the morning for our routine snuggle and nurse.

I DO NOT spend my days chasing her around saying, "Come on L, it is time to nurse now." QUITE the opposite actually, I will often deflect her requests to nurse because I simply do not want to, or because we are in a public place or I am not wearing the right kind of top or any number of other reasons I can find.

You see, I am ready for her to be done breastfeeding, but SHE is not. So continuing to nurse at this point is indeed her NEED and not mine.

But just so you know, I do happen to get a whole lot of benefits from her continuing to breastfeed, like a reduced risk of breast, ovarian and uterine cancer, protection against osteoporosis and a reduced risk of cardiovascular disease.  Not bad perks if you ask me. I'll take 'em!

Common SUPER Ignorant Comment #3: "You are psychologically, emotionally, and/or sexually abusing your child!" or "This is not normal."

I find this whole line of comments and opinions frustrating, laughable, disrespectful, mean AND SO WRONG!

There is plenty of research that shows that children who are FORCED into independence prematurely are the ones who suffer more both mentally and socially, NOT the kids whose needs are met in a warm and loving way like breastfeeding.

My children do not have an unhealthy attachment to me. They feel safe and confident to explore their worlds and know that there is always a comforting and safe place (ME) to come back to when they need to.

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics,

“There is no upper limit to the duration of breastfeeding and no evidence of psychologic or developmental harm from breastfeeding into the third year of life or longer.”

And also the American Academy of Family Physicians says that the natural age of weaning in humans has been estimated to be between 2 and 7 years, and that

“There is no evidence that extended breastfeeding is harmful to mother or child.”

These rather large bodies of medical experts can't be that far off base on something like this and I am pretty sure that they need sound research and studies to back up what they say in print.

As for the sexual abuse comments. I seriously don't even know where to start with these and I will fully admit that it was one particular comment that got me riled-up enough to write this post. This is what one young mom wrote to me... (Yes, I creeped on her FB profile to see just who would say this kind of thing. This is also a good reminder to you all to check your privacy settings!)

"After the age of 2 years old, I consider breastfeeding child abuse. All women know that when a child is suckling your nipple, you have what they call a "mini orgasms" in order to produce your milk. So after a certain age, regardless of stress, you are creating a orgasm with your child. Try going for a "bath" you will get the same destressed results."

Do you see the magnitude of the ignorance and lack of education about breastfeeding that we are up against here Mamas?

I can only assume that she was talking about the feeling of a milk 'let-down' and I don't know about you, but mine where FAR from orgasmic!! Physiologically, the same hormone (oxytocin) is involved in both a let-down and an orgasm, but that really is about as much as the two have in common.

All I can really say is that the over-sexualization of EVERYTHING in our North American society is so far gone, that I don't know if we can ever go back. We live in a world where it is more shocking for a mother to be shown breastfeeding her three-year old (in whatever position and on whatever piece of furniture required) than it is for a 4-year-old to dress up like a hooker and parade around a stage for money. Can someone please tell me how this makes sense?

In the end...

Breastfeeding, babywearing, co-sleeping, discipline, parenting, MOTHERING.

These are all highly personal decisions that we all have to make for ourselves and for our children. I just hope that we all have the strength and conviction to stand by what we decide and not let all the ignorance and sensationalism that surrounds us cloud our own judgement and confidence in ourselves.

Stay strong Mamas. Let the haters hate themselves into oblivion.  Be the example and the change you want to see. Show that to your children.  And stay on the path of LOVE.

Natasha~

mother

I asked the Mamas on my Facebook page and on Twitter to let me know in three words or less what "MOTHER" meant to them.

This is what they had to say...

.

.

.

.

.

Happy Mother's Day to all of the most amazing, wonderful, inspiring Mamas EVER!!

{YES, I am talking to YOU!}

Much Love,

Natasha~

make it stop

**Trigger ALERT**

Please be aware that this post is about things that may or may not trigger deep emotions and reactions in some people, especially those with a history of Post Partum Depression. If you feel that you are not ready to read this post, please don't.

Today I am full of so many emotions, that the only way I seem to be able to cope with any of them is to kind of turn them all off and be numb. And when I do find the strength to deal with my feelings, the one emotion that keeps rising to the top is ANGER!

I AM MAD!

REALLY, REALLY MAD!!

You see... {brace yourself}

I found out today that a girl I once knew, a girl I worked with, a girl whose wedding I attended...

Smothered and killed her four-month old baby boy.

I am sorry, but yes, this tragedy happened yesterday. I don't have all the details. All I know is that a child is dead, another has lost a baby brother and likely a mother too and a husband and father is grieving so much that my heart is breaking into a million pieces for him.

Am I mad at this girl that I once knew?

NO.

No, I really am not. I feel such profound sadness for her that I hardly know what to do.

So who exactly am I mad at?

Well, let's see...

How about MAINSTREAM MEDIA!

This morning when I first saw the cover of the May edition of TIME Magazine, I was a bit angry. Now, I am SPITTING ANGRY! Are you fucking kidding me TIME editors?

"Are you MOM ENOUGH?"

WHY? Why are you asking this question? Why do mothers have to prove themselves? Why do we have to be perfect? Is there a quiz at the end of this gig that I was not aware of? WHO THE FUCK IS KEEPING SCORE?

And why?

Whose ideals are moms supposed to be living up to? Since when do we all have to be the 'yummy mummy'? Or the stay-at-home, make all the perfect snacks and crafts on Pinterest, make sure my kids are all in the right classes, have the right clothes, are in the right diapers, eating the right foods, I-am-going-to-go-insane-if-I-have-to-keep-up-with-this-facade-of-perfection-and-plaster-this-stupid-smile-on-my-face-all-the-time MOMMY!!

Because you know what, this IS exactly what is happening.

Moms are suffering. And a lot of them are doing so in silence. We get told it is normal to feel the 'baby blues', that this is OK and it should pass. We are supposed to be tired, that is what waking up every 2 hours to feed a tiny new person does to you. But what if it is more? What if the blues don't pass? What if you don't feel that immediate connection with your baby? What if you are so far gone into that deep, dark place that you don't even realize the harm you may be doing to yourself and potentially to your child? What if  you are one of the 1 in 5 mothers that has post partum depression and really NEEDS HELP?

And yet, you still put on a happy face. You still tell everyone that you are fine. That the baby is fine. You go through the motions and forget the emotions, because they are too much for you. Too much guilt, too much pain, too much stress, too many diapers, too much crying, too much EVERYTHING.

And compounding this is what?

Magazine covers asking you if you are "MOM ENOUGH?"

Book covers telling you that motherhood is undermining your status as a women.

Newspaper articles and blog posts constantly pitting one group of moms against another, fuelling these so-called "mommy wars".

Don't they get it?

Don't they know that there is already a war being fought by so many? Up to 20% of new moms are fighting a war that many are not even fully aware is even happening.

And deep, dark, horrific battles are being lost by the most unfortunate of these brave warriors.

So tonight I am asking everyone...

CAN WE PLEASE STOP FIGHTING WITH EACH OTHER!!

Stop comparing your way to my way.

Stop looking at that other mom and thinking that you should be anything LIKE her or that your child should be anything like hers.

Stop posting 'link bait' on your sites or Facebook to get the page views and comments that inevitably start more battles in this useless war.

Can we please instead....

START to really see each other for what we are.

Start LISTENING to the answers we get when we ask a new mom how she is doing. Is she really 'fine'?

Start LOOKING at each other without the veil of judgement clouding our vision.

Start SHARING our mothering journeys, the good roads and the bad ones, without fear or shame or guilt.

Mamas, if I have learned anything in my journey through motherhood so far, it is this.

While it may indeed take a village to raise a child, it takes a whole TRIBE to raise a MOTHER!

And whether that tribe is an online one or a local moms-group or a family, that tribe can lift her up or they can tear her down. With their words, their comments, their actions and yes, even their inactions.

I choose tonight to be part of the TRIBE that lifts mothers up.

I choose to LISTEN, to SUPPORT, and to SEE mothers. In all their beautiful glory and yes, in all their not so perfect and glorious times too.

Because, in those not so glorious times...

THAT IS WHEN A MOTHER REALLY NEEDS TO BE SEEN AND HEARD!

So tonight, I don't care about what is on the cover of TIME or who is shocked by it and all the rest of the noise that is cluttering my online spaces.

And I am not mad anymore.

Tonight I am mourning the loss of a little baby boy and the tragedy that surrounds his family.

And I am wondering if his mother had a tribe of her own really listening to her and seeing what was going on, before it was too late.

All I ask is that we do a bit of a better job taking care of each other.

That is what the Tribe of Motherhood is to me.

Love and light to you all,

Natasha~

Mama Music. Review & Giveaway: 'The Full Catastrophe'

We have a WINNER!

Zita on May 9, 2012 at 4:43 PM

There is nothing in the world that moves me quite so powerfully as music. I have genres to fit all my moods and get very antsy in ‘silence’. Lately, I’ve been very into lyrics as well- I appreciate a lot of the poetry that’s emerging in new indie music.  Great review, N!

Congratulations Zita! An email will be sent to you shortly.

Thank you to everyone for entering!

**********

I have a 3.5-year-old and a 5 year old. I know all the words to the Hello song, the Goodbye song, the Clean-up song, the Ridin' in the Car song, the Playin' in the Kitchen song, the Sleepyhead song and countless more.

The 6 CD-changer in my car has been overtaken by all of the kid's music class CDs, not to mention what is on my iPod, and I am told within 30 seconds of getting into the vehicle which selection they want that day.

This is really not a bad thing. My kids have an appreciation for music and we try to expose them to lots of different genres. They love to sing and make up songs of their own, although I am pretty sure that my poor girl has inherited my lack of anything remotely resembling singing on key and Little C is really so much more of a dancer than a singer. They love 'their' music and I like to keep car rides stress-free and happy!

The one downside to all of this is that I rarely get to listen to music that I want to in the car and often after I drop them off at playschool, there I am a half an hour later humming along to Trot Ol' Joe once again.

Oh how far I have strayed...

I used to be a music junkie! Live bands, concerts, the beer soaked dance floor at the Sidetrack Cafe (man, I miss that place!), Lilith Fair, Edge Fest (is that still around?) and of course the creme de la creme in my town, the Edmonton Folk Music Festival.

You see, I LOVE music. All kinds of music. Some people love to dance, some love to sing, and then there is MOI. I can do neither of these things very well (I used to be able to dance, but then along came my friend JRA), and so I listen. I listen with all of my heart and soul and body. I feel music, I appreciate the artistry that exists in it and in true musicians and music moves me to my core.

So when someone (and by someone, I mean someone really, really cool) emails me one day and asks me if I want to review an advance copy of a CD for a great band they are working with, I immediately say YES!

Because this Mama needs some grown-up music in her life!

And then I listen to said CD and am kind of blown away. Because it is like this amazing band has reached inside this Natural Urban Mama's  head and they are SINGING my thoughts!

So without further ado...

I give you.

Nerissa and Katryna Nields.

Photo Credit: Kristin McCue

This sister indie-folk rock duo have been at this music gig for the past 20 years. They have recorded 15 albums, written three books, have a thriving children's music education empire and their own DVD. And they balance all of this precariously while being wives and mothers themselves.

Their sixteenth album is called 'The Full Catastrophe' and it is a testament to every mother's daily joys and struggles. It is funny, poignant, catchy, ethereal and I am thoroughly enjoying it (In fact, I am listening to it right now!). In addition to the melody of a song, what I truly appreciate is the song-writing and lyrics. And the Nields sisters nail it on every song on the CD.

I have listened to the full CD over and over and every time I hear these lyrics from Track 11: 'More than Enough', I tear up. It is THAT good!

"Happily ever after, two kids crawling on the floor

All of our cups are overflowing

Somebody still wants to pour

I get that it’s not about comfort and ease

But uniting when the going gets rough

And to spread it around, to our world, to our town

That's how you get more than enough

I’ll always have more than enough

We’ll always have more than enough."

Like I said, these ladies have literally taken words and feelings about all kinds of aspects of my life as a wife and mother (and likely yours too) and put them brilliantly into song. You will get hooked and want to hear more, I guarantee it!

Here is what the sisters have to say about their newest work;

This CD is an offering to everyone who struggles to balance a home life—with or without kids or partner—with an artistic life, which is to say a work life, for all who labor honorably may choose to do so artistically. The older we get, the more precious both seem to us. Nerissa says, “I could certainly live without friends or family, but I am not sure I would want to. I could let my work go, say goodbye to the muse and my Les Paul, but that would be saying goodbye to joy. We might be happier simplifying our lives, but as Katryna said when we first began this project with the title track, happiness might be overrated. Our cups overfloweth. We choose those cups, and we surrender to the reality that this means many many spills need to be cleaned up.”

And so, in honour of Mother's day coming up and well, because it's nice to pass on great music and give another Mama some grown-up music of her own, I have ONE full copy of the Nields sisters new CD The Full Catastrophe available for a lucky Natural Urban Mamas reader!

All you have to do is comment on this post and tell me what kind of music moves you and why. 

And because it's the right thing to do...

Head on over and follow Nerissa and Katryna Nields on Twitter and Facebook too.

I leave you with this wonderful tribute to mothers that the sisters collaborated on for MotherWoman.org! Go get some tissues.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fd0LsguSlyE[/youtube]

The Full Catastrophe is available now on iTunes and in stores near you!

The Fine Print:

• Giveaway starts today, May 7th and ends on May 13th. 
• Winner will be chosen by Random.org and will be contacted by email.
• I was given a free download of the Nields new CD, The Full Catastophe for review.
• All opinions are my own and I don't lie. 
• I also sneak into my kid's snack cupboard and eat Goldfish crackers by the handful!

Good luck Everyone!

Natasha~

Confessions of a lazy breastfeeder.

I have something to confess. I am a lazy, lazy breastfeeding mama.

Case in point. My three and a half-year old daughter still nurses at night.

Which means 2-3 times a night she gets out of her bed, walks to our room, crawls in to bed with me and nurses for anywhere from 1 minute to 30 minutes depending on how sleepy I am. And since I am usually quite sleepy, it's closer to the half hour mark than not.

I know she doesn't "need" to nurse at this time, I know I "should" have night-weaned her months/years ago, but I didn't.

Oh, I have tried, more than a few times, really I have, but two happy sleeping people always seemed to be more important to me than one crying and then fitfully sleeping baby and one miserable mama.

I am also quite the lazy breastfeeder in other ways. If Princess L gets hurt, either physically or emotionally, the quickest way to soothe her is with a quick pit-stop at the boob. If she is bored, she will come over, tell me I smell like "boobie-breasts" and ask if she can nurse. 95.7% of the time I will oblige her in her requests to nurse where and when ever she wants.

Now, given that my daughter is three years old and we do communicate quite well, we do have some breastfeeding rules. We don't nurse at my in-laws place anymore (out of respect for my MIL, who has never said anything directly to me, but I just know that she is not comfortable with us still nursing). I also often place a time limit on nursing, especially when it is one of those "I'm bored" moments. And L knows that I don't want everyone to SEE my boobs and will now cover them with her hand or my shirt if we are nursing out in public. You know, 'cause she is a considerate little nursling like that.

The past few months have been quite the upheaval for our family with selling our old house, packing, moving and then unpacking and settling into the new house. I am pretty sure that nursing has provided Princess L with A) some much-needed Mama time and B) a sense of normalcy amongst all the chaos. It has also given me a moment to stop during our busy days, look at my beautiful girl and really appreciate her and all her little quirks as I stroke her super soft hair and just breathe her in.

Last weekend I thought we were near the end of our breastfeeding relationship. And we still very much might be. In the past week she has stopped asking to nurse before bedtime. This was exactly the way weaning happened with Little C. Just before his third birthday, he stopped all nursing except his morning nurse and cuddle, and then the day after his birthday we were done. (He still comes in for his morning snuggle though and it is one of the best moments of my day!)

Weaning Little C just didn't seem as bittersweet. I was tandem nursing at that time and L was just over 14 months old, so my mama milk was still in high demand. This time around it is different...

When my girl finally stops nursing, so too will I. There are no more Natural Urban Babies coming into this house, my body will no longer nourish a child and my >5 years of breastfeeding will come to an end. That is a long freakin' time to be making milk for my babies and yes, I am damn proud of it. I feel that it is one of the major accomplishments in my life!

So you know what, I am going to continue to lazily nurse my child, still not bother with any kind of 'night-weaning' and let her have her 'booby-breasts' when and where ever she wants if that is what makes her happy.

Because it IS coming to an end...

And I am not very good at good-byes.

Not to the breast milk, nor to my beautiful breastfeeding boobs either!

{BIG Sigh....}

Natasha~

The case of the tiny little IUD vs The Stay at Home Feminist.

I have had more than a few 'foreign' materials in my body over the years. I have titanium hip joints and polyethylene and ceramic hip sockets.

I have had surgical steel rings pierced in my belly button and various parts of my ears.

And up until 6 weeks ago I had a tiny little T-shaped polyethylene and hormone-filled device in my uterus.

Yes, I am talking about the ever popular intrauterine device known as Mirena.

Three and a half years ago, after Princess L was born and we were pretty darn sure that we did not want anymore babies, this seemed like a really great birth control option. Easy office appointment to have it put in place, minimal side effects (more on this in a bit), safe to use while breastfeeding and no need to even THINK about having an oops baby for at least 5 years. What was not to like about it?

So in I went to get it inserted and off I went on my merry way, having glorious birth-controlled sex with my husband for the next three years without a care in the world. (Uhm, do not try to confirm this with him, his version MAY be a bit different than mine... 2 babies under 2 years old people!!)

I thought I had hit the jackpot of birth control. I really didn't feel like I had any major side effects from Mirena. And I stopped having a real menstrual cycle and period for the three years that I have had the Mirena in place.  I have not had to purchase more than a few boxes of panty liners to deal with dear old rarely visiting Aunt Flo and I told all my friends about Mirena and I have recommended it to lots of mamas.

I was the poster-mama for Mirena!

Or was I?

In the past three years, I have had two major bouts of depression. One I chalked up to postpartum depression (PPD) after Princess L  and one I felt was due to life just overwhelming me.

I have been so severely fatigued for the past two years that no amount of sleep could fix it and no reason identifiable on any blood work or medical test has been found that would explain it medically. This too I attributed primarily to having a newborn and a 22 month old, tandem nursing, and kids that needed a lot of night-time parenting. And later to me just doing too much and staying up way too late trying to get it all done.

I have had multiple episodes of such severe bloating and abdominal pain that I have had an ultrasound to rule out a ruptured ovarian cyst, a trip to the emergency department for a suspected appendicitis, and I have spent multiple nights doubled over and writhing in pain in bed with no relief from any and all forms of over-the-counter anti-gas medications.

I have lost whole handfuls of hair and have the perpetually clogged shower drain to prove it. I thought as first that this was the normal, post partum hair loss phenomenon, but it has continued for three years. I have to clean my hair brush at least twice a week and could have probably made a whole new head of hair with all that I have lost so far.

In the past 6 months I have had more migraines than I have had in my entire life. I never really understood when people would say, "I have a migraine, I have to go lay down" until now. I have had such bad headaches that I have had to turn off all the lights, close the blinds and just lay on the couch with my eyes closed while the kids watch a movie. The last few have been so bad that on those days, as soon as my husband would get home from work, I ended up crashing in my room for multiple hours, waking only to pee and drink water.

And while we are talking about my husband, remember a few lines ago when I said I was having wild birth-controlled sex? Well, we would have been had I had any kind of libido to speak of! I am serious, it slowly but surely disappeared on me completely this past year. Poor dude... and poor ME! Because I kind of like sex and all that goes with it!

And finally...

I have been working out with a personal trainer for the past year. I watch what I eat, I don't drink, I don't over-indulge in sweets or snacks, and I am relatively active given my limitations due to RA. And for the last year I have been trying to lose the same 15 pounds and the scale has not budged more than 3-5 pounds.

Why is all of this relevant you ask? And what does it have to do with Mirena?

Well, have a look at the list of COMMON side effects listed in the product prescribing information for Mirena.

*The HIGHLIGHTED ones are MY symptoms.*

What are the more common side effects of Mirena?

Possible common side effects of Mirena include:

Discomfort during placement. Pain, dizziness, bleeding or cramping may occur during placement. This is common. Let your healthcare provider know if the cramping is severe. If these symptoms do not stop 30 minutes after placement, Mirena may not have been placed correctly. Your healthcare provider will examine you to see if Mirena needs to be replaced or removed.

Expulsion. Mirena may come out by itself and no longer prevent pregnancy. Symptoms of partial or complete expulsion may include bleeding, pain and an increase in menstrual flow. If this occurs, Mirena may be replaced within 7 days of a menstrual period after pregnancy has been ruled out. If you notice Mirena has come out, use a back-up form of birth control like condoms and call your healthcare provider.

More than 10% of Mirena users may experience:

• Missed menstrual periods. About 2 out of 10 women stop having periods after 1 year of Mirena use. Your periods come back when Mirena is removed. If you do not have a period for 6 weeks during Mirena use, contact your healthcare provider to rule out pregnancy.
• Changes in bleeding. Your period may become irregular and you may have bleeding and spotting between menstrual periods, especially during the first 3 to 6 months. A few women have heavy bleeding during this time. After your body adjusts, periods usually get lighter and the number of bleeding days is likely to decrease, but may remain irregular. Or you may even find that your periods stop altogether—in which case, you should contact your healthcare provider to rule out pregnancy.Call your healthcare provider if the bleeding remains heavier than usual or if the bleeding becomes heavy after it has been light for a while.
• Pelvic and/or abdominal pain may occur. Talk to your healthcare provider if the pain is persistent.
• Cyst on the ovary. About 12 out of 100 women using Mirena develop a cyst on the ovary. These cysts usually disappear on their own in a month or two. However, cysts can cause pain and may sometimes require surgery.

Between 5% and 10% of Mirena users may experience:

• Headache/Migraine
• Acne
• Depressed mood
• Heavy or prolonged menstrual bleeding

Less than 5% of Mirena users may experience:

• Vaginal discharge
• Breast pain or tenderness
• Nausea
• Nervousness
• Inflammation of cervix, vulva or vagina
• Pelvic pain during your period
• Back pain
• Weight increase
• Decreased sex drive
• High blood pressure
• Pain during intercourse
• Anemia
• Unusual hair growth or loss
• Skin irritations (such as hives, rash, eczema or itching)
• Feeling bloated
• Swelling of hands and/or feet
• Expulsion

Every individual responds differently to medication, so talk to your healthcare provider about your individual risk factors and to see if Mirena is right for you.

And here is something else I did not know. The hormone used in Mirena is called Levonorgestrel and is often referred to as a 'progestin', which kind of sounds a lot like the naturally occurring  hormone progesterone right? WRONG. Levonorgestrel is a hormone disrupter and has the opposite effects as our own progesterone (which only makes sense really given that progesterone is often called the 'pregnancy hormone'). Levonorgestrel is also the active ingredient in the Norplant birth control implant (which is no longer available in North America) and also at higher doses is the drug that makes up the Plan B or 'morning-after' pill(s). Huh? The things they don't tell you at the doctor's office....

Here is how this all played out for me and how I figured out what {I believe} was going on in my own body.

About 4 months ago a friend of mine got her Mirena IUD inserted. And a couple of months after that she told me that she was not convinced about it and was having some issues. She was tired all the time, was bloated and had gained about 5 pounds on her VERY fit and tiny runner's body. It was around this time that I started to put two and two together and realized that all of the annoying and kind of non-specific symptoms I had been having for the past few years, might also be related to MY Mirena IUD. I started to do more research.

To be completely honest, I have wanted to have my IUD removed for about a year. I went to see my family doctor about it in 2011 and told her I just didn't want any more foreign substances in my body. At that time she convinced me to keep it in so that we did not have to worry about getting pregnant before SOMEONE had a chance to book his snippity-snip appointment (still not booked BTW)!

Six weeks ago I saw my doctor once again. We went over my list of concerns, what I had found out about the side effects of Mirena, and what I wanted to do about it. She insisted on ordering another laundry list of blood tests, which all came back completely and utterly normal, and a week later at another appointment I finally had the offending little piece of plastic removed from my body.

I have to say, I feel better without it. Whether this is a placebo effect or real relief from the side effects, I don't know for sure. I do know that there have been no more excruciating cramping and bloating, I haven't had a migraine in five weeks, and the 'I can't even keep my eyes open while driving' extreme fatigue is gone. Oh, and that little problem with my libido... that seems to be gone too, which is making someone else around here very happy!

This week for the first time in over four years, dear Aunt Flo came for a REAL visit. To honour this occasion, I took another step in the direction of living a more natural life and invested in my first ever Diva Cup.

So what is the moral of the story here?

Mirena may sound like the perfect birth control solution and for some women it may well be... BUT please be aware of ALL of the side effects, and what can happen to you while on this medication. Do some research, ask around, and make sure that this is the birth control method  that really is for you. There are whole blogs and websites dedicated to the stories and cases of women's lives with and then after Mirena and some of them are pretty scary. And while these may be some extreme cases, they made me pause and re-evaluate the role that Mirena has played in my life and convinced me to have it removed.

I really wish I had known more about this sooner and had stuck to my guns a year ago with my GP and had it taken out then.  But here I am now, I know better, and I now have one less foreign object and synthetic chemical substance in my body.

And that is a good thing.

Natasha~

Have you used Mirena? What has your experience been?

UPDATE: One year post Mirena. Here is my follow up post a year after I had the Mirena IUD removed.