family, kids, motherhood Natasha Chiam family, kids, motherhood Natasha Chiam

Happy Mother's Day!!

It has been a busy Mother's Day weekend around here. But in a good way. I got to spend time with the most important mothers in my life. My mother, my sister and my mother-in-law. My sister and mom and I toured some local greenhouses on Saturday and we had my in-laws over for brunch today.

My family let me have a fabulous 3.5 hour nap today (which probably explains why I am up writing at 12:42 AM!!) we had a great family walk after dinner and Natural Urban Dad and I topped off the day by watching a really nice movie tonight (Love and Other Drugs-I'll have more to say about this film in a later post).  All in all, it was just the perfect weekend.

I do have more that I want to say on the whole "Mother's Day" thing, but for now, and because I really should get to bed, here are a few highlights from my weekend.

I hope you all had a wonderful day doing whatever it is that makes you happy!

Hugs,

Natasha~

P.S. This week-long hiatus from the blog is DONE! Did you miss me??

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family, kids, motherhood Natasha Chiam family, kids, motherhood Natasha Chiam

One more for the road.

The other day I spontaneously started crying in my car on the way home from picking up my oldest from preschool. Why you ask?

Because I have recently come to the realization that I may actually want to have another child.

If you had asked me a year ago if I wanted more kids, I would have said, "No Way Jose! We are done. My next 'babies' are going to be the stunning and perky boobie kind that I get from a plastic surgeon!" And not only that, but my husband has always only wanted two children and we have one of each, so we are good. Right?

Wrong. Here I am, seriously LONGING for another child in our lives. I swear it is to the point that I can literally feel my ovaries popping out eggs every time I am near a baby or a pregnant woman. And in my line of work, that is quite often.

So I've been gingerly trying to bring up the topic with my husband for the past few weeks to gauge his receptiveness to this whole idea. I have dropped little hints every now and then about babies and being pregnant again and of course, being the man that he is, he has remained totally oblivious. So the other night I just said it outright to him.

"Honey, I think I want to have another kid."

And his response was, "WHAT? Are you serious? I thought we were done!!"

It was pretty much what I expected him to say. And then we had a long conversation about what that would mean for us and why he doesn't think it is the best idea. I listened to him and I know that all of his reasons for NOT having another child are good ones and make total sense.

  • We will be OUTNUMBERED! A scary thought in and of itself.
  • I have to go off of my Rheumatoid Arthritis meds and I have a history of high risk pregnancy.
  • I will be a 40 year old woman in 9 months and the risks of having a child with Down's Syndrome goes up rather exponentially at that age (1/75).
  • Where would we put the kid?? We are building a three bedroom house (I told him this one doesn't really fly-the kids can share rooms!)
  • He was just starting to look forward to 'getting me back'. I know this sounds terrible, but I see where he is coming from. I have been nursing for 4 years, we have been co-sleeping for most of that time as well, and we have not taken a couples only holiday since our first son was conceived in 2006.

He also said something to me that made me really think. He told me that I need to realize that motherhood is not just about being pregnant and breastfeeding and babywearing and all the "baby" stuff. Our kids need me in a different way now and I need to be able to grow-up as a mother, just as much as they are growing up and into little people. (Damn him and his logical, I am making too much sense, brain!)

And when he asked me WHY I felt the need to have another child, all I really had for him was that I just did. I can't explain it rationally, and no, it really does not make a whole lot of sense, but I just FEEL like I am not done yet. And I did not have these feelings a year ago, or even six months ago, but something has changed and it is a deep down gut feeling that we are supposed to do this.

We have not come to a decision just yet. I have asked him that we keep the discussion open and on the table. And he has agreed to that. He really is a good man.

All I can say is that right now I feel like sparklers are shooting out of my pelvic region a la Katy Perry in her Fireworks video every time I am anywhere remotely close to a baby or pregnant mama.

Just stand back a bit....

Natasha~

 

 

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breastfeeding, kids, motherhood, parenting Natasha Chiam breastfeeding, kids, motherhood, parenting Natasha Chiam

Nighttime Parenting and Nursing: I really just want to sleep!

Welcome to The Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival! This post was written as part of The Breastfeeding Cafe's Carnival. For more info on the Breastfeeding Cafe, go to www.breastfeedingcafe.wordpress.com. For more info on the Carnival or if you want to participate, contact Claire at clindstrom2 {at} gmail {dot} com. Today's post is about nighttime parenting and nursing. Please read the other blogs in today's carnival listed below and check back for more posts July 18th through the 31st!

I have not had 8 hours of sleep in a row for FOUR years.  I am not lying.  I probably wouldn't know what to do with myself with that much sleep! For us, and on some nights, nighttime parenting has been just as busy as daytime parenting-at least from a nursing perspective.

We are kind of a part-time co-sleeping family.  We co-slept with our son until he was about 4 months old, had a month of bliss when he was actually sleeping for 6 hour stretches in his own bed and then it all went to pot again and he has refused to sleep by himself ever since. (A reminder to you all--he is 3.5 years old)  I nursed him to sleep from the beginning and according to all the 'books'  that was my first mistake.  I also kept nursing him throughout the night well into his second year, much to the dismay of people who kept telling me he really didn't 'need' to nurse at night anymore.  My husband and I switched roles at times so that he could take over all night-time parenting, and we would try to night-wean our son. This would work for a few days or weeks, but then something would always bring us back to nursing and sleeping with him.  I read book after book on how to get my child to sleep (well, everything short of Ferber that is--I refused to do any form of Cry It Out strategies).  I probably gave up on all the different strategies too soon, but damn it I really just wanted to SLEEP!  And so to make everyone happy, I would nurse him and we would all go back to sleep.

He is still not a great sleeper.  He gets scared in his room all by himself and wants one of us to come and sleep with him.  And we do it, and I will tell you why.

He is THREE years old!  He is our child and he needs us-to comfort him, to feel safe and to snuggle.  I am not so naive to think that these feelings and needs are going to last forever (I can just picture the DO NOT ENTER sign on his teenage bedroom door in the future) and neither my husband nor I want to look back on these years and say, 'Man, I wish I had just been with him more when he needed me."

My daughter is now 22 months old and is a better sleeper. We did not technically co-sleep with her IN our bed, but rather beside it in her bassinet.  I did learn to let her self soothe a bit more than I did with my son and it shows.  She can be put down in her bed awake and will fall into a nice slumber all on her own.  But...she is still up at least once or twice a night.  She calls for me in the dark and I can't deny her that extra hug, that few seconds on the breast that lets her know that I am only a few steps away.  I know that nursing her at night has no real nutritional value for her, but I nurse my kids for a whole lot more than just nutrition. I nurse them to comfort them, to nurture them, to soothe them and to help them sleep.  And you know what, I'm OK with that.

I am not having any more kids.  These two little humans are my only babies and I will keep them close to me for as long as possible, nurse them as long as they need to and do it NIGHT and day if need be.  That is all folks.

Sleep well ;) Natasha~

P.S.  I did NOT sleep well last night and neither did DS-up grand total of 5 times--it is not always what I want, but life is what it is.  Time for COFFEE!!

Here are more posts by the Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival participants! Check back because more will be added throughout the day.

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humour, kids, motherhood Natasha Chiam humour, kids, motherhood Natasha Chiam

Mommy, you have a big booty shack!!!

This is my son's favourite thing to say to me these days!  He is at that 'oh, so wonderful' age of 3.5 years old when he is REALLY discovering his world and all the sights, sounds and smells that go along with it. And because he is 3.5 years old, he also talks about whatever it is he is thinking or seeing or smelling or discovering incessantly.  It is an amazing time for him and for us, but can also be a very embarrassing time for us as well--like at Starbucks a few weeks ago, when he LOUDLY pointed out that another mommy had a VERY big booty shack, as I slowly tried to slide under the table and avoid all eye contact with anyone! All this brings me to the reason for this post.  In another of his very observatory moments, this morning as I was getting dressed he pointed out that my underwear did not cover my bum, aka, the booty shack.  I was wearing a pair of Hanky Panky underwear and he wanted to know why it did not cover my bum?  Well, YOU try to explain thong underwear to a 3.5 year old!!

So this whole situation got me thinking about underwear and how my needs, likes, and general comfort level have changed since having kids.  Pre-babies I was a Hanky Panky only girl--damn the $24/pair price tag, I needed to have them and in every color too! And why not, they are one size fits all, NEVER show a panty line and are THE most comfortable thong panty out there. And if you believe that the picture to the right is my bum.....then yes, it absolutely is.

And then I got pregnant with my son.  And for the most part Hanky Panky's are a great maternity panty. Because of the stretchy lace, they easily accommodate the changing and growing body (and bum!) of a pregnant woman.  So for baby number one, I managed to avoid going the route of the ridiculously HUGE maternity underwear and risk losing ANY and all sex appeal I could still muster up during that time.

Fast forward to 35 weeks pregnant and for some reason, NO ONE told me about the whole lochia thing until about a day or two before my son was born (we had a weekend to prepare for an early induction on a Monday), so there I was at Zellers on a Sunday afternoon looking for some cheap granny panties that I could just scrap after the 'after' stuff was all done. I found a nice 6 pack of Fruit of the Looms that served their purpose for a good six weeks and then were summarily trashed!! And it was right back to the Hanky Panky's thank you very much.

I was pregnant with my daughter 14 months later and again wore them throughout most of my pregnancy--now I say most because, again, unbeknown to me at the time, having 2 babies in less than 22 months can do things to your body that you were not expecting!  I am talking about HEMORRHOIDS here people!!! Those darn little grape like protrusions that were not there before!  And let me tell you, hemorrhoids and Hanky Panky's (or any thong underwear for that matter) DO NOT mix!!  So I gave in and got me some not so huge Bravado panties that were not too ugly.  Around that time I also discovered a line of Jockey underwear that has become a new staple in my undies drawer.  The NO Panty Line Promise, Modern Brief.  These do all the things I like about Hanky Panky's (stretchy, no lines, sit low on the waist) AND they cover my bum.

So skip forward a year and a half later.  The hemorrhoids are no longer a problem (and for those of you who are pregnant and reading this and have this particular issue, all I can say is - TUCK's wipes my friends!!).  Sadly, I have to admit that the days of my exclusivity to the Hanky Panky's thong are over.  I wear a mix of underwear these days and some days a nice pair of cotton hipster undies is what a girl needs.   If only to keep the 'big booty shack' comments to a minimum.....

How about you?  How do you cover (or not) your booty shack?

Natasha~

P.S.  I have in no way received any compensation from Hanky Panky, Jockey or Fruit of the Loom for the above mentions. Although if anyone knows someone who works for them and thinks that they would like to compensate me, then please pass this on!! :)

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