Natasha Chiam 11/5/12 Natasha Chiam 11/5/12

Lose your mommy buts

This post has been brewing in my head for a few days now and I finally have some time to get it onto the screen. Last week I read this post from Rachel Martin at Finding Joy. In it, she talks about why it is OK to take a mom break.

You run on empty. I run on empty. It's the nature of our society to push everything until the last drop - and then we are beyond worn out. We wait to get gas till the light warns us that the tank is empty, we save the last drops of milk, we scrape the peanut butter from the sides of the jar - and we do the same with our self. We push, and give, and push, and give, and we often ignore the warning lights telling us to refuel.

And then shortly after I posted her link on my Facebook page, I asked the following question.

"What are you biggest barriers/obstacles to actually taking a break and taking care of yourself? (tangible ones and maybe the not so tangible as well.)"

And although I shouldn't be surprised, the overwhelming theme in all of the responses was one of guilt. Mamas feeling guilty for taking time for themselves, for spending money on themselves, for asking someone else to watch their kids so they can go do something for themselves. There were other reasons as well, but this is what really stuck out for me and to be perfectly honest, made me a little bit angry!

Yes, angry.

Which is probably why it has taken me a few days to figure out how to write this. I don't want to come across all angry bitch telling you what to do, but be warned, that I do have some brutally honest things to say on this topic (after many years of being the guilty-feeling one myself).

First of all, go back up and read Rachel's full post if you haven't all ready.

Go ahead. I'll wait.

OK, so you get what she is saying right? Let your tank run on empty too long and you are just going to burn off those fumes and be DONE. Nothing left to give. Burned out. Finito. Kaput!

And then who is going to look after the kids? Who is going to breastfeed the baby? Who is going to clean the house? Who is going to get the other ones to school? Do the laundry? Have any kind of relationship with their partner? Have any kind of relationship with their kids for that matter? And one that doesn't involve resentment, or like Rachel says, that heavy feeling of drudgery?

Guilt is a self-inflicted feeling, Mamas. It is the feeling you get when you feel you have done something WRONG.

I am going to say that again.

GUILT is the feeling you get when you feel you have done something WRONG.

Can we, for a minute, examine exactly what is wrong in the situation where you feel guilty for looking after yourself?

NOTHING!

You are a human being and you have needs, just like your kids and anyone else you feel responsible for and to.

What you are not, is a super human. You need sleep. You need food. You need restoration. And for God's sake woman, you need a bloody haircut!

In all seriousness though, you need space (be it physical or mental) that is JUST FOR YOU.

I know that you are all agreeing with me 100% up to this point. I also know that you have a ridiculously LONG LIST of BUTS that you want to throw at me.

So, I thought I would address of few of the more common BUTS of mother guilt and give you some suggestions for how to remove them.

"But, I can't leave my baby because he is exclusively breastfed and he won't take a bottle from anyone."

Nurse the baby and get him nice and full. Give the baby to daddy (or grandma or auntie or babysitter), put on your big girl shoes and head out the door. Go to your favourite cafe and read a book for an hour. Go to the mall and just walk around and do some window or actual shopping for something JUST FOR YOU. Go for a walk. Go for a nap (with earplugs and explicit instructions to NOT OPEN THE DOOR FOR A FULL 60 MINUTES)! Set a timer. Be back in an hour. Do it after your partner gets home from work or on the weekend if you have to. Try not to worry, it is only an hour. And if that seems like too much, start smaller and build up to it.

You CAN do this. And really, you need to do this.

"But, I feel bad spending money on things for me (yoga, haircuts, massage) when that money could go towards something else for the family."

You do realize that you are a member of this family you speak of right? That YOUR needs and yes, your wants, matter too? I know that maternity leave puts a crink in the finances for a lot of families and if you now have to budget a bit more carefully for these type of things, then by all means do that. Just don't erase them completely from your family budget. Make time for you and set aside the funds that you need to accomplish all that you want to do with that time as well.

And then STOP the guilt. Get that fabulous new cut and color and get to that class that you want to take. Try not to look at these necessities as things that you merely want to do, they are things that you NEED to do. For your peace of mind and to feel good about yourself. Never underestimate the power of a good haircut/massage/pedicure/run/ "insert your THING here", Mamas! Never.

"But, I don't have any childcare."

This is a biggie folks and one I am no stranger to as well. Leaving your kids with someone else is a very difficult thing to do. Finding the 'right' person can be very challenging, especially if you do not have family that lives close by or is able to help out. But, you have to try. Go to the babysitter mixers that are put on by various mom groups in your city, check the local babysitter registries, check the boards at your local grocery store, find a neighbourhood teenager who had taken their babysitting course, ask your neighbours or other moms in your playgroups if they know of anyone or can share their contacts.

And then give it a trial run. I always bring a new sitter over at a time when I will be home to let them get acquainted with my kids and our environment (and for me to see how they interact with my kids too). I know it will be tough, but once you do find someone, you have to bite the bullet and leave the house. Start out small, make it just an hour to get some errands done or to go to a class or again go to bed with those earplugs and instructions. You have to recognize that not everything is going to be done exactly as you would do it and that THIS IS OK.

And for any of you who say you can't leave your husband with the kids because he is afraid, or can't do it alone, or whatever... All I have to say to this is TOUGH PATOOTIES! This is what he signed up for and he has got to figure this shit out and yes, sometimes by himself. Show him how that baby carrier you bought him works, where the diapers are, the detailed instructions for how to prepare a bottle of breastmilk or formula and walk out the door. He has your number if he really needs you for anything.

..........

Mamas, taking time for you is not only important for your well-being and peace of mind, it is good for your kids too. You are their primary example in this world. If you never take care of yourself, how are these little people ever going to learn to do so for themselves? They need to know that you have needs to and that you too are "listening to your body" just like you tell them to listen to their's when they are tired, hungry, need to use the bathroom or just plain DONE.

My kids know how much better I feel after I go to my yoga class and they always tell me to have a good time as I walk out the door. My husband and I have regular date nights and we now make it a priority in our family schedule (this was not something we always did, but we are learning). The kids are starting to see the value in the time we spend together and have started requesting their own one-on-one "dates" with us as well.

Furthermore, kids need to know how to adapt and adjust to different situations and different people. It is a life skill and one that can not be taught in a bubble. So find that babysitter or get your crazy younger brother to come over and babysit for you and get out of the house and let them all figure a few things out by themselves. Uncle Bubbles and the babysitter from down the block are not going to read stories the same way that you do or play games the way you do and in the end, this really is a good thing.

So Mamas...

No more buts.

Take a break. Refuel. Recharge and replenish your mind, your body and your soul. Maybe you won't be able to do it all in one day, but please make it a priority and add your needs and wants to your To-Do lists and schedules and family budgets!

Do it for you, do it for your kids, and please mamas...

PLEASE.

Kick that damn guilt to the bloody curb already.

It has no business keeping you from a fabulous new haircut or that pair of leather boots or that invincible feeling you get after a really good workout!

{This is my "I just finished doing 90 minutes of Bikram yoga, don't mess with me, I am in the ZONE" face!}

Go find YOUR zone.

Love,

Natasha~

Natasha Chiam 8/4/12 Natasha Chiam 8/4/12

Nothing in life is ever really 'FREE'

I am confused. And I don't want to add fuel to the fire of the ridiculous and never ending how you feed your baby Mommy Wars, but I am serious. I am really confused.

New Your City has a new initiative called "Latch On NYC". It is aimed at promoting breastfeeding in the city's many hospitals. In order to do this, the plan is to limit access to "free" formula samples and any advertising and marketing materials from the formula companies that are distributed to new mothers and their babies in the first few hours and days after birth.

And there is a lot of hulabaloo about it all over the interwebs this week. Especially because it is World Breastfeeding Week.

A lot of people are quite upset about it and like in this article from Cafe Mom think that this is removing a woman's choice in how she feeds her baby (it is NOT). Some media outlets are sensationalizing their headlines and falsely interpreting it as a BAN on formula in hospitals (again, it is NOT). Some are using all those ugly words again, like bullying, breastapo, etc.... to describe the initiative and the counselling that mothers will (and should always) receive about breastfeeding while still in hospital.

The source of my confusion in all of this goes back to my first paragraph. You see those airquotes around the word FREE?

Yeah, that.

You know that old saying that if it something seems to good to be true, it usually is? I think this applies here.

Because in the long run, there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING "free" about the formula samples that are given to new moms in hospital. NOT. ONE. DAMN. THING.

Here is just a short list of what is the COST of these freebies:

1. The average cost to formula feed an infant for the first year of life is in the range of $1350.00 to $2160.00 and can be as high as $5000.00 if the child needs a specialty formula. NOT FREE.

2. Research PROVES that giving formula in the first few hours and days after birth can significantly compromise the breastfeeding relationship between mom and baby. No more breastfeeding = more formula = NOT FREE.

3. On most cities Food Bank MOST NEEDED ITEMS List you will ALWAYS see Baby Formula. And this one really gets to me. So often it is the lower income families that seem to get the least amount of support and information about breastfeeding. They leave the hospital with samples of the most expensive brands of formula and then can't afford it on their own! DEFINITELY NOT FREE.

4. The public health and economic savings that could be had with more breastfeeding versus formula feeding are well documented as well. For most working parents (especially in countries with no paid maternity leave), babies who are sick more = parents who have to take time off of work = lost wages = NOT FREE.

5. The only thing that IS free here is the free advertising and marketing that the formula companies are getting from hospitals and health care workers. This is a quote from Dr. Laura Sinai, from the American Association of Pediatrics 2012 Leadership Forum taken from the ammendment to divest from formula marketing in pediatric care.

"There is no “gift” in a “gift bag” except that from the healthcare system applying a seal of approval to the formula manufacturer without compensation. Research reveals that when a health care provider distributes a formula manufacturer’s goods, the recipient interprets that action to indicate that formula feeding is superior to breastfeeding and that the brand distributed is superior to the alternatives."

So Mamas, here is my request.

Before you believe all the hype and crying foul about New York's new breasfeeding initiative, lets really examine who is getting what for FREE here and see this initiative for what it has the potential to be. A really good step in the right direction for moms and babies everywhere!

OK?

Thanks,

Natasha~

P.S. If you would like a bit more perspective on this issue, I highly recommend that you read AskMoxie's post and also Dr. Jay Gordon's guest post from Susan Berger, IBCLC on the Huffington Post.

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This is the Day 4 post for the Summer Blog Challenge {31 posts in 31 Days}.

Check out these great posts from our other participants too!

Zita at The Dulock Diaries.

Meaghan at MagzD Life

April at This Mom's Got Something to Say

and Aramelle at One Wheeler's World

Natasha Chiam 8/2/12 Natasha Chiam 8/2/12

Learning to ride and learning to let go

After your first day of cycling, one dream is inevitable.A memory of motion lingers in the muscles of your legs, and round and round they seem to go. You ride through Dreamland on wonderful dream bicycles that change and grow. ~ H.G. Wells The Wheels of Chance

My son learned to ride his bike a few weeks ago.

And neither his father nor I had very much to do with it.

I enrolled Little C in the Pedalheads Bike Camp and after seeing the results of this week long, 2.5 hours a day camp program, I know that it was the best thing for all of us.

For one thing, they took the training wheels of his bike on the first day! (I know for a fact that I wouldn't have done that for a long time because I would have been the one afraid to, not him!)

By the second day, he was riding about 10-15 feet on his own and at the end of the week, all he needed was a little bit of a push and off he went riding at least a block.

Every day he would come home and was just so proud of himself and also a bit "Meh, no biggie mom, just ridin' my bike."

And every day, I wondered if I was missing out somehow on this milestone in my child's life. Wondering if it should be me or his dad doing the teaching.

Then I would remember myself and my son and our personalities and know that there is no way that I would have been able to have the patience to do it and that we would have just ended up frustrated with each other and someone would very likely be in tears at the end of it (me!).

I think this is simply one more lesson I am learning as a parent.

Know thy limits.

I could have spent hours all summer trying to teach my son to ride and I know that it would not have been fun for either of us. Instead I chose to send him to bike camp, to learn with his peers, to be pushed without the pressure of Mommy or Daddy hovering over him and to be so proud of something that he accomplished on his own!

In fact, he had so much fun and I was so impressed by the program, that I am enrolling both him and his sister in one more week before the summer is out!

Every single day I learn more and more about this parenting gig. I see around me the kind of parent I want to be and I also see the kind of parent I don't want to be.

I don't want to be that parent that pushes my kid so hard that every lesson ends in tears. I want him to want to do the activities that make him happy (not me) and I want him to feel a sense of accomplishment doing them. I also don't want to be the parent that is overly present and always there to pick up the pieces. And this may be a lesson for further on down the road, but I don't want to raise an entitled little shit who knows that mommy and daddy are always gonna bail him out of whatever mess or mistake or hiccup he faces in life. I want him to learn to pick himself up and learn from his mistakes and do better the next time around.

I DO want to be the kind of parent that instills a sense of work ethic in my children. And by work ethic, I mean, you get what you give. Give something your best shot, try your hardest and you will get the rewards. Often that reward is just the smug self-satisfaction of knowing that you did that something... ALL. BY. YOURSELF! Trust me, for a five and a half year old, this is BIG! And for my little perfectionist (sheesh is he ever his father's kid!) this is GINORMOUS!!

So next week, there I will be once again, the mom on the sidelines, drinking my grande soy latte and watching someone else teach my kids the finer points of balance, brakes and biking like a pro! And I am good with that.

I am learning what it is that I am good at as a parent and THIS, is just not one of those things.

It's called delegating people! Don't hesitate to do it... even as a parent!

See you on the bike trails!

Natasha~

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This post is Day TWO of the Summer Blog Challenge.

Check out these other posts from my friends joining in on the fun.

Zita gets very personal and has some news over at The Dulock Diaries

Meaghan has a confession and a colourful addiction at MagzD Life

April gives us the low down on her "new" parenting method at This Mom's Got Something to Say.

and Liam's BS meter went off the charts over at In the Now.

Natasha Chiam 7/13/12 Natasha Chiam 7/13/12

The Virgin Garden

This week I decided it was time to go all the way. I mean, I have waited 40 years, I weighed all the pros and cons and I was pretty sure I was mentally ready to handle the consequences.

So I had a long shower, cleaned myself up real nice, put on a pretty pink dress and off I went to get my flower plucked.

The setting was perfect.

A beautiful, tranquil place, filled with lots of nice sounds and smells. All of it intended to relax me and help put me in the mood.

I had a drink and I washed my face with a cool cloth.

I took off my clothes and folded them in a neat pile on the chair and laid down on the bed.

I was ready.

And then I heard these ominous words...

"Let's see what we are dealing with here."

And the covers where pulled back.....

I am of course talking about hair removal.

Specifically, hair removal, to quote the much maligned heroine of a certain smuterotica best seller, "down there".

I have been thinking about it for a while and since we are going on holidays soon, I thought it would be a good idea to get it done now and not have to worry about any errant fly aways peaking {or poking} out of my bathing suit while I was lying languorously on a beach chair reading yet more smuterotica or frolicking in the ocean. (Because that is what you do on your family vacations too, right?)

My bestie went to see a woman before her last tropical vacay and had the whole shebang done and she highly recommended both this particular esthetician and the process itself.

I trust my friend and so I called and made an appointment to get all of my hairy parts 'sugared'.

Yup, you heard right. Sugared, NOT waxed.

I have always had my brows waxed in the past and have even done my legs a few times, but have never been a huge fan of the practice. For one thing, most waxes are made from resins and can include lots of chemicals, dyes and preservatives in them. With sugaring the components are sugar, lemon juice, water and sometimes essential oils. From a ingredient perspective alone it is a more natural choice for a hair removal process.

Sugaring is also more gentle on your skin. It is applied lukewarm to your skin, the sugar paste surrounds the hairs and is removed in the same direction that the hair is growing. This is easier on your skin and since the sugar itself only attaches to dead skin cells and not your actual skin, you do not run the risk of taking off any skin along with the hair, which can happen with waxing and instead you get a nice exfoliation as an added bonus to the process.

Susan, my trusty hair removal expert at Temple of Beauty Day Spa knew I was a virgin coming in to this and she promised to gently ease me into her world.

She started with my brows, a spot I am used to having waxed and I thought to myself, "This isn't bad at all. MUCH less sting than waxing. Cool, I can totally handle this."

Then she moved to my armpits. And WOWZA! Scratch that earlier thought! I am not sure if it is because of all the lymph nodes under there, or just because it is a rather protected area of skin that doesn't get a lot of 'weathering' per se, but holy Hannah, THAT shit was painful. While the sugar itself is a more gentle and natural solution for my skin, the plain fact remained that the tiny hairs on my body where being ripped out en masse. The lovely Susan told me that she was assessing my pain tolerance while sugaring under my arms to decide how much I would be able to handle in my nether regions! It wasn't looking very promising.

Next up. My lower legs. These I have also had waxed before, so I knew what to expect and it was really not bad. Except around the ankles. That was like little red ants biting me because I danced a jig on their home in the ground. VERY ouchy!

The good news is that unlike with waxing where you have a lingering pain and sometimes an intense throbbing (and possible skin removal), once the sugar is removed, there is no more pain or tenderness. Just smoothy, smoothiness. {Those are words, really, they are!}

With my legs all done, it was now back up to the ummm, middle.

I had three choices here. The classic, the skinny or the brazilian!

Within five seconds I knew it was NOT going to be the full shebang. But being the pro that she is, Susan just kept on going. She kept reminding me to concentrate on my breathing and kept trying to take my focus away from the sweet sting of what was happening by talking to me about anything and everything else. My kids, my vacation, her kids, the weather.... and various horror stories about her first forays into doing full brazilians 12 years ago.

It was not unlike what my doulas did for me while giving birth to my children. Except of course for the 'name that rash on a strangers vagina' stories. That was different. And this time around, Susan was helping me give birth to a new silky smooth me.

I managed to make it all the way to the skinny bikini and had to call it quits. And I don't know about any of you who have had this kind of follicular maintenance stuff done before, but I found the {ahem}, upper lawn portion more painful to landscape than the... uh, lower hedges. Maybe that is just me...

In the end, and after all the toe curling and heavy breathing I have to say that I am very happy that I finally did "IT". I will very likely go back to Susan for some more routine care and upkeep of my lovely and well-groomed garden. Within minutes of her being done, aka, me begging her to stop, there was no more sting and just the results I was hoping for. {Smoothy, smoothiness in case you forgot.}

And really, how many girls can say that of their first time!!

Happy Friday the 13th Mamas!!

Natasha~

Natasha Chiam 6/7/12 Natasha Chiam 6/7/12

stealth attack

It hit without warning. A small dot on my chest that felt a little tight.

And then it got bigger.

And bigger.

And then I started to breathe a little faster. And shorter.

I managed to get the kids dressed and fed before it hit me full force.

But come it did...

And then BAM!

There I was, hunched over my desk, sobbing and hyperventilating uncontrollably...

And having the first FULL ON anxiety attack I have had in over 15 years.

My poor little girl just looked at me and said "Mommy, what is wrong with you?"

I didn't have an answer for her.

I somehow managed to pull myself together long enough to get the kids to school. I did not talk to anyone for fear that the flood gates would not hold if I so much as opened my mouth.

I lost it again when I got back in the car, drove out of the school parking lot, pulled over again, called a friend and tried to let it all out.

I did make it to the gym, had another ugly cry with a good friend and then had an hour to focus on something else for a bit...the burning in my legs from jump training on the Pilates reformer and not the squeezing, breath-stealing feelings I was having in my chest. So that was good while it lasted.

Needless to say, it has been a VERY long day.

I have puffy eyes from all the tears that keep coming and don't seem to want to stop and I can't really THINK too much right now about anything without the tightness coming back a bit...

I tried to do things today that made me feel happy.

You know, the little things. Like having a long shower, putting on pretty jewelry, going to a grown-up coffee shop all by myself and getting a bang trim. Thank goodness it was a babysitter day!

Tonight I immersed myself into mindless data entry as I try to finish up all the accounting for the NUM store closure and found a soundtrack to keep my mind happy while doing it. It involved a lot of new boy band songs {think One Direction and The Wanted} interspersed with Florence and the Machine and my new favourite songstress, Ingrid Michealson.

I know I will have to face whatever it is that is making me feel like this, but first I have to figure out what exactly that is...

I kind of have an idea, but it is not completely clear just yet.

Today was a total stealth attack. No warning. Total chaos.

Tomorrow, all units are on high alert.

Natasha Chiam 4/21/12 Natasha Chiam 4/21/12

The case of the tiny little IUD vs The Stay at Home Feminist.

I have had more than a few 'foreign' materials in my body over the years. I have titanium hip joints and polyethylene and ceramic hip sockets.

I have had surgical steel rings pierced in my belly button and various parts of my ears.

And up until 6 weeks ago I had a tiny little T-shaped polyethylene and hormone-filled device in my uterus.

Yes, I am talking about the ever popular intrauterine device known as Mirena.

Three and a half years ago, after Princess L was born and we were pretty darn sure that we did not want anymore babies, this seemed like a really great birth control option. Easy office appointment to have it put in place, minimal side effects (more on this in a bit), safe to use while breastfeeding and no need to even THINK about having an oops baby for at least 5 years. What was not to like about it?

So in I went to get it inserted and off I went on my merry way, having glorious birth-controlled sex with my husband for the next three years without a care in the world. (Uhm, do not try to confirm this with him, his version MAY be a bit different than mine... 2 babies under 2 years old people!!)

I thought I had hit the jackpot of birth control. I really didn't feel like I had any major side effects from Mirena. And I stopped having a real menstrual cycle and period for the three years that I have had the Mirena in place. I have not had to purchase more than a few boxes of panty liners to deal with dear old rarely visiting Aunt Flo and I told all my friends about Mirena and I have recommended it to lots of mamas.

I was the poster-mama for Mirena!

Or was I?

In the past three years, I have had two major bouts of depression. One I chalked up to postpartum depression (PPD) after Princess L and one I felt was due to life just overwhelming me.

I have been so severely fatigued for the past two years that no amount of sleep could fix it and no reason identifiable on any blood work or medical test has been found that would explain it medically. This too I attributed primarily to having a newborn and a 22 month old, tandem nursing, and kids that needed a lot of night-time parenting. And later to me just doing too much and staying up way too late trying to get it all done.

I have had multiple episodes of such severe bloating and abdominal pain that I have had an ultrasound to rule out a ruptured ovarian cyst, a trip to the emergency department for a suspected appendicitis, and I have spent multiple nights doubled over and writhing in pain in bed with no relief from any and all forms of over-the-counter anti-gas medications.

I have lost whole handfuls of hair and have the perpetually clogged shower drain to prove it. I thought as first that this was the normal, post partum hair loss phenomenon, but it has continued for three years. I have to clean my hair brush at least twice a week and could have probably made a whole new head of hair with all that I have lost so far.

In the past 6 months I have had more migraines than I have had in my entire life. I never really understood when people would say, "I have a migraine, I have to go lay down" until now. I have had such bad headaches that I have had to turn off all the lights, close the blinds and just lay on the couch with my eyes closed while the kids watch a movie. The last few have been so bad that on those days, as soon as my husband would get home from work, I ended up crashing in my room for multiple hours, waking only to pee and drink water.

And while we are talking about my husband, remember a few lines ago when I said I was having wild birth-controlled sex? Well, we would have been had I had any kind of libido to speak of! I am serious, it slowly but surely disappeared on me completely this past year. Poor dude... and poor ME! Because I kind of like sex and all that goes with it!

And finally...

I have been working out with a personal trainer for the past year. I watch what I eat, I don't drink, I don't over-indulge in sweets or snacks, and I am relatively active given my limitations due to RA. And for the last year I have been trying to lose the same 15 pounds and the scale has not budged more than 3-5 pounds.

Why is all of this relevant you ask? And what does it have to do with Mirena?

Well, have a look at the list of COMMON side effects listed in the product prescribing information for Mirena.

*The HIGHLIGHTED ones are MY symptoms.*

What are the more common side effects of Mirena?
Possible common side effects of Mirena include:
Discomfort during placement. Pain, dizziness, bleeding or cramping may occur during placement. This is common. Let your healthcare provider know if the cramping is severe. If these symptoms do not stop 30 minutes after placement, Mirena may not have been placed correctly. Your healthcare provider will examine you to see if Mirena needs to be replaced or removed.
Expulsion. Mirena may come out by itself and no longer prevent pregnancy. Symptoms of partial or complete expulsion may include bleeding, pain and an increase in menstrual flow. If this occurs, Mirena may be replaced within 7 days of a menstrual period after pregnancy has been ruled out. If you notice Mirena has come out, use a back-up form of birth control like condoms and call your healthcare provider.
More than 10% of Mirena users may experience:
Missed menstrual periods. About 2 out of 10 women stop having periods after 1 year of Mirena use. Your periods come back when Mirena is removed. If you do not have a period for 6 weeks during Mirena use, contact your healthcare provider to rule out pregnancy.
Changes in bleeding. Your period may become irregular and you may have bleeding and spotting between menstrual periods, especially during the first 3 to 6 months. A few women have heavy bleeding during this time. After your body adjusts, periods usually get lighter and the number of bleeding days is likely to decrease, but may remain irregular. Or you may even find that your periods stop altogether—in which case, you should contact your healthcare provider to rule out pregnancy.Call your healthcare provider if the bleeding remains heavier than usual or if the bleeding becomes heavy after it has been light for a while.
Pelvic and/or abdominal pain may occur. Talk to your healthcare provider if the pain is persistent.
Cyst on the ovary. About 12 out of 100 women using Mirena develop a cyst on the ovary. These cysts usually disappear on their own in a month or two. However, cysts can cause pain and may sometimes require surgery.
Between 5% and 10% of Mirena users may experience:
Headache/Migraine
Acne
Depressed mood
Heavy or prolonged menstrual bleeding
Less than 5% of Mirena users may experience:
Vaginal discharge
Breast pain or tenderness
Nausea
Nervousness
Inflammation of cervix, vulva or vagina
Pelvic pain during your period
Back pain
Weight increase
Decreased sex drive
High blood pressure
Pain during intercourse
Anemia
Unusual hair growth or loss
Skin irritations (such as hives, rash, eczema or itching)
Feeling bloated
Swelling of hands and/or feet
Expulsion
Every individual responds differently to medication, so talk to your healthcare provider about your individual risk factors and to see if Mirena is right for you.

And here is something else I did not know. The hormone used in Mirena is called Levonorgestrel and is often referred to as a 'progestin', which kind of sounds a lot like the naturally occurring hormone progesterone right? WRONG. Levonorgestrel is a hormone disrupter and has the opposite effects as our own progesterone (which only makes sense really given that progesterone is often called the 'pregnancy hormone'). Levonorgestrel is also the active ingredient in the Norplant birth control implant (which is no longer available in North America) and also at higher doses is the drug that makes up the Plan B or 'morning-after' pill(s). Huh? The things they don't tell you at the doctor's office....

Here is how this all played out for me and how I figured out what {I believe} was going on in my own body.

About 4 months ago a friend of mine got her Mirena IUD inserted. And a couple of months after that she told me that she was not convinced about it and was having some issues. She was tired all the time, was bloated and had gained about 5 pounds on her VERY fit and tiny runner's body. It was around this time that I started to put two and two together and realized that all of the annoying and kind of non-specific symptoms I had been having for the past few years, might also be related to MY Mirena IUD. I started to do more research.

To be completely honest, I have wanted to have my IUD removed for about a year. I went to see my family doctor about it in 2011 and told her I just didn't want any more foreign substances in my body. At that time she convinced me to keep it in so that we did not have to worry about getting pregnant before SOMEONE had a chance to book his snippity-snip appointment (still not booked BTW)!

Six weeks ago I saw my doctor once again. We went over my list of concerns, what I had found out about the side effects of Mirena, and what I wanted to do about it. She insisted on ordering another laundry list of blood tests, which all came back completely and utterly normal, and a week later at another appointment I finally had the offending little piece of plastic removed from my body.

I have to say, I feel better without it. Whether this is a placebo effect or real relief from the side effects, I don't know for sure. I do know that there have been no more excruciating cramping and bloating, I haven't had a migraine in five weeks, and the 'I can't even keep my eyes open while driving' extreme fatigue is gone. Oh, and that little problem with my libido... that seems to be gone too, which is making someone else around here very happy!

This week for the first time in over four years, dear Aunt Flo came for a REAL visit. To honour this occasion, I took another step in the direction of living a more natural life and invested in my first ever Diva Cup.

So what is the moral of the story here?

Mirena may sound like the perfect birth control solution and for some women it may well be... BUT please be aware of ALL of the side effects, and what can happen to you while on this medication. Do some research, ask around, and make sure that this is the birth control method that really is for you. There are whole blogs and websites dedicated to the stories and cases of women's lives with and then after Mirena and some of them are pretty scary. And while these may be some extreme cases, they made me pause and re-evaluate the role that Mirena has played in my life and convinced me to have it removed.

I really wish I had known more about this sooner and had stuck to my guns a year ago with my GP and had it taken out then. But here I am now, I know better, and I now have one less foreign object and synthetic chemical substance in my body.

And that is a good thing.

Natasha~

Have you used Mirena? What has your experience been?

UPDATE: One year post Mirena. Here is my follow up post a year after I had the Mirena IUD removed.