breastfeeding, motherhood, parenting Natasha Chiam breastfeeding, motherhood, parenting Natasha Chiam

Coming clean...

It has come to my attention that people may think that I only do things a certain way. That I am all natural, all attachment parent, all breastfeeding, all babywearing, ALL THE TIME. I am here to set the record straight.

First of all, my births were not strictly speaking all that 'natural'. I was induced for both with Cervidil. Once out of necessity and to save both of us, and the other because my OB was on call that day and I was SO DONE with being pregnant. Yup, that's right. I ASKED for it!

I chose to breastfeed both my kids. Doing so with my son was NOT an easy thing to do (my boobs were twice the size of the poor kid's head)! I also can't stand NOT doing something well and so I persevered. Through a preemie birth, use of a nipple shield, crying every night for three months (both of us) and worry every day and over every ounce that he gained or lost. I did it for him, and I did it for me too (I am crazy stubborn like that and just not a quitter!). The plan was to continue nursing for at least 6 months, but the funny and perhaps ironic thing about our eventual 3 year breastfeeding relationship (yes, even throughout my whole second pregnancy) is that it took that first 6 months to actually 'get it right'.

Breastfeeding my daughter was relatively easy. She was latched on within 45 minutes of her birth and has been a veritable breastfeeding star since then. My boobs on the other hand, not so much the stars. They decided to plug up, multiple times, and then get infections, multiple times. This shit hurts people. But again, I am NOT a quitter! I am also an egalitarian-type parent and was not about to give my daughter any less of a nursing relationship than I had given my son. So we pushed through and here we are today on the brink of her third birthday.

I try very hard every day to practice gentle discipline. Some days I am able to control MY feelings and reactions to my kids' misbehaving, some days I am not. And yes, (please don't all gasp at once) I have smacked my kids in the heat of the moment. Moments that I am not proud of, but moments that do exist. Moments that let me know that it is time to reset myself and that I am the one who desperately needs a time-out. Did I mention that I am re-reading my favourite discipline book again?

I buy organic and local as much as I can. I do so for a few reasons. I buy organic products (groceries specifically), because I believe there are real health consequences to the alternatives. That being said, some organic products are just beyond what I am willing and able to pay and so I will find the next best thing. I buy local because I am also a somewhat 'local' business and I know what it means to me when, even though there may be a cheaper option from a giant chain store somewhere, a customer decides to buy from me and sees the value in doing so. I want to support our local economy and the many extremely talented entrepreneurs that work and live right here in my own city, province and country.

I am a very lucky person. I have a partner who trained hard for a lot of years and works hard to provide for his family. We are able to exist very comfortably as a single income family and I am able to be the "stay-at-home" parent. This was not our initial intention. I loved my career and fully intended on returning to it after my maternity leave. I was a pharmaceutical sales representative with one of the biggest pharma companies in the world and I was the farthest thing from a Natural Urban Mama. Then I got pregnant (totally planned by the way) and then it got complicated...

...and then we had a baby. And with him all that we knew or thought we knew went out the door. We were bombarded with a whole new set of life lessons, instructions, and a sort-of paradigm shift in our thoughts about the world we live in and the world we were about to raise our child in. And all of these new thoughts left us with a very strong desire to make that world a better place.

I am not a parenting expert, I am a parent. Everything that I know I have learned on the job. I have made mistakes, I will very likely make many more. I have made selfless decisions as a parent and I have made selfish decisions too. I am a work in progress.

I read, I learn, I research and I advocate for the parenting practices that have been extremely beneficial to my family and those at I think provide the best start for all babies and families. My opinions are mine alone, and you are free to take what you can from them, leave what doesn't work for you and apply these to your own life as you see fit. My aim is to educate others and provide information and support for new moms and parents of all walks of life.

But know this. I own my own choices, my opinions, my mistakes and my triumphs. No one ever said this parenting gig was going to be easy, and as Yoda says...

"Do or do not, there is no try!"

Natasha~

 It's not only children who grow.  Parents do too. As much as we watch to see what our children do with their lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours. I can't tell my children to reach for the sun. All I can do is reach for it, myself.

~Joyce Maynard

 

 

 

 

 

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This is so NOT about your boobs!!

Never in the history of the world has the simple act of how we feed our babies caused so much strife and controversy!

If you have been anywhere on Facebook or Twitter in the past 72 hours you will have a good idea of what I am talking about.

If not, well here is the scoop.

Babble is running a contest right now for the Top 100 Moms who are Changing the World. Moms from all walks of life are being 'Mominated' for the top 10 prizes of $5000.00 for the charity of their choice. Voting is by public ballot. You can get all the details of the contest by clicking on the link above.

Emma Kwasnica, known breastfeeding activist and the founder of Human Milk 4 Human Babies, the global milk-sharing network created on Facebook was nominated by fellow mom and activist Jodine Chase to be one of these amazing Moms. Right away Emma started raking in some pretty sweet votes and was in the Top Ten list within days of her nomination! This is really not surprising, because she IS a mom changing the world, one breastmilk-fed baby at a time. I have seen the results of milk-sharing through her network right here in my own proverbial backyard and very much up close and personal.

Next, Emma and Jodine realized that one of the major advertisers on the Babble.com site is Similac, a formula manufacturer that has its ads (side banners and top banners) posted all over the newborn and pregnancy pages on the Babble site. (Apparently, these ads were removed from the breastfeeding support pages on Babble a year ago after many a blogger called them out for it then!). After much deliberation, Emma asked Babble to remove her from the list of nominees and has said that the only way she would again participate is if Babble where to remove ALL formula marketing from its site and comply with the International Code of Marketing of Breastmilk Substitutes.

Annie from PhD in Parenting wrote this very excellent post, explaining what happened and applauding the stance that Emma and Jodine took in not accepting what Emma considers "blood money" from Babble.

Catherine Connor of Her Bad Mother, and also a Babble Voices writer, responded with this post. In it she is quite upset and insulted by the use of the term "blood money" and that no one is willing to sit down and be on a board of breastfeeding advocate advisors for Babble to discuss what the best options are for everyone involved. She also feels that they whole argument against formula marketing and advertising, shames mothers who can not for whatever reason breastfeed their babies.

And then Jodine wrote this post  discussing this new tactic of "shaming mothers" when we start discussing formula marketing and the very subtle, yet, oh so underhanded tactics that are employed by these billion dollar companies to undermine breastfeeding moms every step of the way.

So.

Now that you are up to speed, I have a few things to add.

First of all, let me make myself very clear. I have breastfeed both my kids for three years each. I believe it is the biologically normal thing to do. My boobs make milk, my babies need that milk, and the closeness and all the other great things that go along with our nursing relationship. I am a breastfeeder. It was not always easy, I needed help, but I was determined that this was the way I wanted to feed my babies. Breastfeeding was and is my choice.

Some women choose not to breastfeed,  some women truly can not breastfeed, some women have serious medical conditions that prevent them from breastfeeding. Whatever the case may be, if the choice for these women is to feed their babies formula or  feed them nothing, then you have to know that NO ONE IS TRYING TO MAKE YOU FEEL GUILTY OR SHAMEFUL ABOUT FEEDING YOUR CHILD.

Here is why I have a problem with Ms. Connor's arguments about this issue. She writes in her post that,

The push for a complete ban on formula advertising rests upon the assumption that mothers are not capable of understanding formula advertising as advertising – it assumes that they will be confused by it, those poor, silly mothers, and mistake it for unbiased, non-commercial speech – and that they are therefore vulnerable to being ‘duped’ by formula advertisers in a way that they are not from, say, Budweiser or McDonalds or General Electric. I’m a grown-up, you guys. I know what commercial speech is. I am capable of parsing information from advertisers. I am not stupid. I can make up my own mind.

No one is saying that mothers are silly or stupid or can't figure out when they are being duped. What is being said is that formula company advertising is subtle. It feeds on our weaknesses and insecurities as a new parent, and I am sorry, but as new moms dealing with all the demands that this new little life has on us and usually working on very little sleep, we ARE vulnerable to these ads and their ubiquitous "we are here to help you" messages.

Really. Now how exactly is a formula company supposed to help a breastfeeding mom? Guess who is formula's main competition? That's right. It's breastmilk. So if we take a look at this from a different angle, it is kind of like saying Ford is going to help me choose what kind of GM vehicle to buy. Not likely...

Are you getting this so far?

Fleur Bickford, of Nurtured Child, wrote this post earlier this year discussing why formula companies like the phrase "breast is best". In it she breaks down one of the online ads for Nestle's new Baby Nes instant formula machines  (think Tassimo for babies). At first glance the ad itself seems pretty benign. But Fleur notes that,

 

Great that they’re showing breastfeeding right? Well, if we look closer at it, the breastfeeding mom is sitting on the floor, is barefoot, is half undressed and her dark roots are showing through her blond hair colouring (compare that to the beautifully highlighted hair of the formula feeding mom).  All of this is subtle, but it creates an emotional reaction (which is exactly what it was designed to do). The reaction may not even be a conscious one for many people, but it plays on the stereotype of women who breastfeed being barefoot “hippies” who just “whip it out”. It also plays into the fear of having a baby who ties you down and nurses so often that you can’t even get your hair coloured. Even the graph behind the mom with the downward slope to it produces a negative feeling about breastfeeding.

Subtle right? I think down right sneaky, and probably from an ad campaign perspective rather brilliant. And this is only one example.

Here is one right off of the Babble.com (I found it on the Pregnancy page on their site).

I am assuming that by fed, they mean nursed and the implication is that, she is still crying because she is still hungry....so go ahead, give her some formula to "top her up".

THIS is where and when the formula companies GET you! And they know it and count on it. They know that a mom starting to supplement just a little bit is a damn slippery slope and that is the way they like it, and most likely they count on it!

Here is the scenario: new mama starts supplementing with a little bit of formula and it seems to work. Baby is now 'full' and not crying anymore, so all is good. And mama's thoughts process becomes, "SEE, obviously I am not making enough milk for him." But what is really happening is that rather than getting the help needed to correct a nursing issue (and the lack of proper breastfeeding support for a lot of mothers is a LONG topic for another post), the simplest thing seems to be to supplement with the 'just as good as breastmilk' formula. Mom is happy, baby is happy, or at least they sure do seem to be in this Nestle Good Start commercial and she can just go back to breastfeeding again once they get over this bump in the road/phase/growth spurt/etc....

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Jo1hQN9X7c[/youtube]

(Did you catch the teeny tiny print and  2 seconds of 'Breastfeeding is best for your baby." in that one?)

Or can they....

Unfortunately for a lot of mothers, no, they can not.

And therein lies the bigger issue with this kind of marketing. Formula marketing and advertisements don't target already happily, by choice or by circumstance, formula-feeding moms. They don't have to. There is no need to preach to the choir. They target NEW moms, moms who have every intention of breastfeeding (our provincial breastfeeding rates in Alberta, Canada upon discharge from hospital are 92.4%, 2009 statistics), but who run into issues at home and decide to call the 1-800 number that they find attached to the can of formula that they were sent home with in hopes of getting support, encouragement and advice on how to continue to breastfeed. Do they get decent advice from these "feeding experts"? Perhaps, I have not called them myself. But to honestly say that these formula-company-sponsored or funded call centres have the best interests of your successful breastfeeding relationship at heart is rather ludicrous.

So what do we do now?

Well for one thing, we need to stop using words like 'guilt' and 'shame' when discussing how we feed out babies. You make your choice and you deal with it. Do what is right for you, do what is right for your baby, and yes, do what is right for your mental and physical health. If that is breastfeeding, good for you. If that is formula-feeding, good for you. DONE, no more discussion.

The only people who need to feel ashamed right now are the formula companies. They are the ones who are shamelessly promoting and dare I say pushing their product (doctor's offices, hospital maternity wards, even family trade shows) on new and yes, vulnerable moms who are just trying to figure out how this whole 'feeding, nurturing and not completely wrecking the new baby' gig works!

In the end, I applaud all of the incredible bloggers and activists for all their work for breastfeeding moms and moms in general. Emma, Jodine, Annie and Catherine are all moms that I have the utmost respect for and they all make excellent points in their posts. I highly encourage you to read them all.

My final point {that does need to be said again} is that this issue is not a breastfed versus formula fed one. I DON'T CARE HOW YOU FEED YOUR BABY! It is a question of ethical marketing and advertising practices by formula companies and that is the point so many seem to keep missing. We all need to get over our own vulnerable feelings of guilt or shame, accept the choices that we made as the best ones that we could make given the information that we had or the situation we were in and see this for what it really is.

Formula companies have millions of dollars to spend on ad campaigns and government lobbyists and they make a lot of money selling their wares to families worldwide, with what seems little or no regard for whatever harm or disservice their practices do to moms and babies.

Breastfeeding? Well, that is just biology.

Natasha~

 

 

 

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The Chart Versus the Child

My son was 3 lbs, 13 oz at birth. He was born at 35 weeks gestation. He was the average size of a 30 week old pre-term baby because I had a lovely trifecta of pregnancy complications: a very poor functioning placenta, pre-eclampsia and subsequent intrauterine growth restriction (IUGR). In terms of Infant Growth Charts and Percentiles, our teeny little guy did not even register on a chart, let alone fall within anything resembling a "normal" growth percentile.

AND HE NEVER HAS!

To this day, at 4 years, 9 months old, and 33 pounds, he is still below the 5th percentile on any growth chart. He has always had his very own growth curve that hovers somewhere near the 3rd percentile.

In those early weeks and months of his life I stressed A LOT about his growth. I was at the public health unit weekly, having him weighed and measured and plotted on the very bottom of those very stress-inducing, mother- fuc...frightening charts.

He was an exclusively breastfed kid and for the most part, I lucked out with the nurses and doctors that I had contact with. Not once was I told that I should be supplementing him with formula, although I was told on more than one occasion to nurse him and then give him some pumped breastmilk to "top him up". Sometimes I did, most times I did not.

"Hey, who you calling teeny?"

And not only was he a teeny, tiny preemie, he is also the kid of an 5'9" Asian man and a 5' 3" Caucasian woman. His paternal grandmother is barely 5' tall and he has the metabolism of a Eurasion Pygmy Shrew. Genetically, he was never destined to be a really big guy or gain a huge amount of 'baby fat'!! And this is kind of my point here.

What all mamas (and daddies too) need to realize is that generally, your new baby check-ups at the Public Health Unit are done with a check list in hand.

Weigh baby -Check

Measure baby's length and head circumference - Check

Plot on Standard Infant Growth Charts - Check

Discuss baby's feeding/nutrition (whether breastfeeding or formula feeding) - Check

  • Offer up suggestions/advice if , according to above chart, baby is NOT gaining weight properly.

Get Mama to fill out or answer post-partum depression questionnaire - Check

Discuss vaccinations required and give said vaccines - Check

  • FYI - You have the right to ask for any kind of vaccine schedule you want for your child, whether that choice is none at all, or as we did, a delayed one (max 1-2 at a time).

Hand you pamphlet with age appropriate Baby Milestones - Check

Now, I am not knocking the public health nurses. They see A LOT of mamas and babies and have a lot to do in the short time they have with them. What I am saying is that these health care practitioners, and a lot of doctors too, need to look beyond the numbers on the charts and the checklists and really SEE their patients and the parents and babies before them.

Dr. Jay Gordon wrote an excellent post about this last year that sums up the issue of looking at the charts versus looking at the baby. You can read the full article here. In it he makes the point that,

"...if someone were to ask you what weight a 33-year-old man should be, you would laugh. The range of possibilities varies according to height, bone structure, ethnicity and many other factors. Yet babies are expected to fit onto charts distributed throughout the country with no regard to genetics, feeding choice or almost anything else."

I personally think that as new moms, the more charts and spreadsheets and schedules and logs that you have for your baby, the more exponentially you will drive yourself batty! While yes, it is important to track a few things in the beginning to ensure everything is trucking along nicely (I am mainly talking pees and poops here), for the most part, if we follow our instincts, listen to our babies and respond to their cues and needs (feed me, hold me, change me, love me), then they will be just fine. And if for some reason they are not, then trust me (and trust yourself), your Mama Bear instincts will kick in and you will seek and get the help that is needed.

People come in all different shapes and sizes and colors. And babies, well, they are people too (the best kind really)! Trying to fit them all onto a nice perfect curve is simply NOT going to work. And maybe, just maybe, this kind of 'chart versus child' outlook marks the beginning of our crazy North American obsession and misconception of what the ideal body should look like.

Like Dr. Gordon says, "Look at the Baby, not the scale."

Good advice for everyone really, baby or not!

Natasha~

(This post was inspired by a lovely mama that I met today at Cafe O'Play, who has the cutest and teeniest and completely healthy and beautiful 10 month old baby girl! Thank you.) 

 

 

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Our version of 'Milk Sharing'!

Welcome to The Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival! This post was written as part of The Breastfeeding Cafe's Carnival. For more info on the Breastfeeding Cafe, go to www.breastfeedingcafe.wordpress.com. For more info on the Carnival or if you want to participate, contact Claire at clindstrom2 {at} gmail {dot} com. Today's post is about breastfeeding when you have more than one child. Please read the other blogs in today's carnival listed below and check back for more posts July 18th through the 31st!

As soon as my son was 11 months old, we decided to start trying to get pregnant with baby number two. And just like the first time around it took us three months of 'trying' to do just that.

*Oh, and if you are wondering how I managed to do this without weaning my son first in order to get Dear Aunt Flo back, well, that lovely lady decided that 2 months without her was plenty for me and she came back when C was a mere 8 weeks old!! Seriously!! I has just stopped all the lochia from his birth and could not for the life of me figure out why I started bleeding again 2 weeks later. It was Natural Urban Dad who figured that one out for me!!*

.....and back to being pregnant with a 14 month old boob-aholic.

Well, the kid just did not stop.

At all.

For the whole pregancy.

All 41 weeks of it.

I am not sure what my milk supply was like during that time, but he never complained. Just kept at it and nursed when he wanted, and for as long as he wanted.

Did I want him to stop during the pregnancy?

I won't lie. Yes, there were days were the mere thought of him nursing was enough to make me want to scratch my eyes out and it really did physically make my skin crawl on a few occasions. Thankfully I was reading Adventures in Tandem Nursing by Hilary Flower at the time and knew that this kind of physical aversion is COMPLETELY normal and mostly due to all the pregnant hormonal changes going on. I basically had to suck it up during those times and keep going. We also started to do a lot of count downs around that time (I would give him a 10-20 count and then he had to come off) and we made it through those few rough patches, our breastfeeding relationship still intact!

I think continuing to breastfeed my son while I was pregnant made him very aware of the whole situation early on and also, in a weird and totally awesome sense, gave him and his sibling a connection of sorts way before they ever actually met. I remember at about 6 months he could actually start to feel her kicks and thought it was quite hilarious. He would talk to her, kiss my belly (the baby) and pat it and rub it while he was nursing.

C was still quite a little guy at the time, at 18 months he weighed a mere 20 pounds, and my thought had always been to tandem nurse them for a while to give him the benefits of some nice fatty newborn milk! My daughter was born at 9 PM on October 14th, 2008, we were home by 10 AM the next day and I had both of them latched on by about 10:30.

I do believe that being able to nurse both of them, either together or one at a time, made the transition from single child to big brother a whole lot easier for my first born. Yes, he did have to learn to share mommy, but he did not have to give up something that was a huge part of his life, his source of nutrition, his source of comfort and our happy place together!

We never went through a big jealousy phase with him when his sister was born and I attribute that in large part to the fact that I was tandem breastfeeding. And shortly after L was born, pointing to my breasts, my little man told me very clearly in his 2 year old voice that one side was for him and the other side was for Baby L. :)

Breastfeeding during pregnancy and then for a whole year of tandem nursing made the transition from one to two kids easier for me, and also for my son. Yes, it was hard at times, but I am glad that we did it this way. I was so happy to be able to provide the nourishment and nurturing that both my children needed during a time of big change for our little family and I firmly believe that it has made all the difference!

And it was an Adventure!

Natasha~

 

 

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Birth Experience. Maybe. Cheering Squad. Definitely!

Welcome to The Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival! This post was written as part of The Breastfeeding Cafe's Carnival. For more info on the Breastfeeding Cafe, go to www.breastfeedingcafe.wordpress.com. For more info on the Carnival or if you want to participate, contact Claire at clindstrom2 {at} gmail {dot} com. Today's post is about how birth experiences influence breastfeeding. Please read the other blogs in today's carnival listed below and check back for more posts July 18th through the 31st!

I have been thinking about this post a lot for the past day or so. Beyond just my own birth experiences  (which by the way were like night and day and you can read all about them here) to birthing in general and how we put a lot of emphasis on HOW we birth our children and how this affects our breastfeeding relationships.

I won't go into a whole lot of details, but suffice it to day that, YES, there are many factors during childbirth that can hinder the beginnings of breastfeeding. The most common culprits being, medications, induction, use of forceps and vacuum extraction, cesarean section, early separation of mom and newborn, suctioning, bathing,and premature births. But that being said, there are plenty of mothers who have had one or more of the above interventions and then gone on to have very successful breastfeeding relationships. So, is there really a guaranteed way to make sure breastfeeding 'works'?

What if you do everything 'RIGHT' and then breastfeeding still doesn't work for you? My good friend, Shannon, did just that. She had issues with breastfeeding her first two and attributed it to the not so ideal hospital births she had had with them. The birth of her third child was the complete opposite. It was a beautiful home birth,surrounded by her family, her birthing team and her closest friend. She did everything right! A natural water birth, immediate skin to skin contact with her beautiful newborn baby girl, no medications or interventions whatsoever. And then......another unsuccessful go at breastfeeding. Or maybe not... please read all about Shannon's amazing story of perseverance HERE and decide for yourself.

I think it is a mother's duty to be and get informed. About her choices in childbirth and about breastfeeding. And sometimes that stuff is just not in the books. Seek outside advice and help. Hire a doula to be an advocate for you and your birth and your immediate breastfeeding choices.  Attend a La Leche League meeting BEFORE you have a baby and ask the mothers there what they wish they had known about birth and breastfeeding before they had their babies. Learn from the mothers before you.

And do have a plan! With my firstborn, we did not have the option of having a birth plan. It was a high risk pregnancy and we were just prepared for whatever needed to be done for the baby's safety and for mine. That ended up being an induction at 35 weeks and a 3 and a half pound baby who was taken to NICU within minutes of his birth. Breastfeeding that child was not an easy task for a multitude of reasons, but we persevered, eventually got the hang of it and kept it up for three whole years! With my second child I had a PLAN! A full page of typed out requests from my birthing team. It was signed by my doula, my OB and my husband and I and I know for a fact that it was read by every nurse and resident who took care of us that day.

Did everything go according to plan that day? Well, no, not everything. But my wishes were well known by everyone involved. I did not want any medications and I did not want my child to have any interventions (suctioning, bathing, Vitamin K eye gel) before I had a chance to hold and breastfeed her. In the end, I needed some Nitrous Oxide to make it from 8 to 10 cm, and my baby did need some suctioning because there was meconium in the amniotic fluid. They held of on the eye gel and bathing her until much later and I am happy to say that she latched on like a pro, just 40 minutes after she was born!

Mamas,I guess what I am trying to say here is that I truly believe that the key to breastfeeding is support. Not necessarily how or where you birth your child, but who you have to turn to when you need help with breastfeeding. Be it your spouse/partner, your doula, your doctor, your lactation consultant, your LLL leader , generous milk donors or your other mama friends, just please have a support network, your proverbial 'cheering squad' in place. And also know that my "cyber" door is always open if you are struggling and need someone to go to for a sympathetic ear, for resources, for a point in the right direction or for a simple "You CAN do this!"

Because I have been there.

Natasha~

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Word of the Day: Eco-Breastfeeding

Welcome to The Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival! This post was written as part of The Breastfeeding Cafe's Carnival. For more info on the Breastfeeding Cafe, go to www.breastfeedingcafe.wordpress.com. For more info on the Carnival or if you want to participate, contact Claire at clindstrom2 {at} gmail {dot} com. Today's post is about the environment and breastfeeding. Please read the other blogs in today's carnival listed below and check back for more posts July 18th through the 31st!

My boobs are green!

Yup. There it is. I said it.

Breastfeeding is the way to 'go green' as a new parent! No fancy packaging, no preservatives, 100% organic, completely biodegradable and also a very sustainable and renewable environmental choice! Kermit had it all wrong. It is SO easy being green! (And by easy, I mean really, really hard sometimes!!)

In all seriousness, today's post is about the environment and whether or not it is or was something that I considered when deciding to breastfeed. To be completely honest, no, it was not a major factor in my decision-making. I had a 3.5 pound premature baby, he needed all the advantages he could get and my colostrum and then breastmilk were the magic potions that made him better, bigger and stronger each and every day until we could bring him home from the hospital. And then every day after that for three full years!

Was it nice that I did not have the hassle of buying a whole cupboard full of bottle feeding paraphernalia? Yes. Did I miss out on having to choose the best brand with the right combination of synthetic nutrients from the HUGE section of highly packaged, incessantly marketed and ever-present baby formula at the grocery store? Hell, NO. Did I save some money on water because I did not have to boil it, use it for washing bottles and nipples three times a day and whatever else is needed to ensure that my baby's food was made 'just right"? Perhaps.

There are so many reasons that mothers choose to breastfeed their children, just like there are also many reasons why some women choose to use artificial milks to feed their children. I think that the environmental impact of breastfeeding is kind of like the gravy on top of a really nice piece of turkey breast (hee hee!) and mashed potatoes. It's a bonus! Yes, it makes everything taste a little bit better, but is not the main reason for eating the meal.

That being said, breastfeeding is actually quite environmentally friendly (see all the reasons above) and next time someone asks you about it or questions your decision to breastfeed, you can just say that you are not only doing your part for your child, but for all the future generations of children on our dear Mother Earth!!

I love being green!

Natasha~

When green is all there is to be It could make you wonder why, but why wonder why Wonder, I am green and it'll do fine, it's beautiful And I think it's what I want to be

~Kermit the Frog

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Mothers Before Me: Lessons for a New Life.

Welcome to The Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival! This post was written as part of The Breastfeeding Cafe's Carnival. For more info on the Breastfeeding Cafe, go to www.breastfeedingcafe.wordpress.com. For more info on the Carnival or if you want to participate, contact Claire at clindstrom2 {at} gmail {dot} com. Today's post is about how the mothers before you influenced your choice to breastfeed. Please read the other blogs in today's carnival listed below and check back for more posts July 18th through the 31st!

I know that I was breastfed as an infant. For all of six weeks. And then my mother had an acute case of appendicitis and had to have surgery and was told she could no longer nurse me. This was in 1972 and she was a 21-year-old new wife, new mom and a person who was not, nor has ever been one to question the wisdom of her doctors. And that was the end of our breastfeeding relationship.

She had three more children in quick succession after me and all three of them were breastfed for at least 6 months each, if not longer. We lived in the country, my dad was a ranch hand on a cattle farm and I guess if it was good enough for the cows and horses then it was good enough for the kids! And we were kind of dirt poor too and that formula stuff was more than we could realistically afford!

I mostly remember seeing my youngest brother nurse. I was four years old when he was born and I remember my mom always saying that Desmond was born on the breast and never left it! I also have a very clear image of my mother giving myself and my two younger brothers baths together and "squirting" us with her milk. Oh, don't make faces, it was a fun bath time game back then!

To be perfectly honest aside from my own mother, I don't remember seeing other mothers nursing while I was growing up. I was born in the early 70's and perhaps the big breastfeeding resurgence of the late 1970s and 1980s had not hit our local hospitals yet, or maybe the fiasco of formula marketing that Nestle and other formula manufacturers had unleashed on third world countries was not yet common knowledge. Whatever the case and reasons for it, breastfeeding was just not something that I saw a lot of, nor was it something that was talked about either.

I don't think that I thought much about breastfeeding or really started to notice whether or not people were indeed doing it until I was pregnant with my first child. It was a complicated pregnancy with a few months of bedrest and a guaranteed premature delivery and I had a lot of time to read about what I needed to do to ensure a healthy and strong baby. Breastfeeding was number ONE on that list!

Unfortunately, no amount of reading about breastfeeding can ever fully prepare you for the full experience itself. And I have to say that it wasn't until I met other committed breastfeeding mothers at my local La Leche League and SAW for myself how normal and wonderful and amazing of an experience it truly could be, that I fully appreciated how important it is for all women, of all ages, to SEE for themselves breastfeeding in action and know that it is a normal and incredibly awesome way to nurture and nourish a child.

Today the kids and I had lunch with a good friend, her 4-year-old daughter and her 8-week old little baby girl. As we were all getting ready to leave the baby woke up and started to get all fussy and was full on crying by the time we made it to our respective cars. My two and a half year old {nursling} daughter turned and said to me, "Mommy, Baby P is hungry and needs to nurse on her mommy's boobies."

'Nuff said.

My job is done.

Natasha~

"Be the change you want to see in the world."

~Mahatma Ghandi

Here are more posts by the Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival participants! Check back because more will be added throughout the day.

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breastfeeding Natasha Chiam breastfeeding Natasha Chiam

a breastfeeding journey...the road less travelled.

I am so so excited to have my very first guest post here on Natural Urban Mama!!   Please give a nice warm welcome to my dear friend and fellow babywearing mama, Shannon Mozak from Metamorphosis. Shannon is a babywearing, wrap-hoarding, crafty mama to three beautiful girls. She is also passionate about breastfeeding eduction and spreading the word about milk sharing.

This is her story..... 

When I was pregnant with my third baby I was sure that breastfeeding would be a success this time. I was absolutely convinced that the reason I had struggled so much with my first two was because of bad information and not enough support.  Before baby number three arrived I made sure that I had all the right information and a terrific support network of breastfeeding mothers and friends to help me get it right.

Then, Alana was born in a wonderful gentle homebirth. I was giving her the absolute best start she could get as far as our breastfeeding relationship went.  I laid back after her birth and snuggled her and waited for her to find her own way to the breast and self attach. And there she stayed for nearly every waking and non-waking moment of her life for the next six weeks.

I think I knew it was not going well long before I admitted it to myself.  She was peeing frequently, but very, very small amounts and not having nearly enough dirty diapers. The ones she did have were suspect. I talked to my friends, sought the advice of my doula, talked to several lactation consultant friends and even after all of this, my mama instincts were still telling me something was not right. So I went and had her weighed.

After six long weeks of feeding Alana on-demand (almost non-stop), not only has she not gained weight, but she was nearly a full pound lighter than her birth weight.  Concerned that something other than my milk supply must be the issue I took her to the doctor for the first time. The doctor was more than alarmed and sent us to the Stollery Children's Hospital immediately. Still, I was convinced that breastfeeding was not the problem.  After all, I had done everything right.....how could it go wrong???

In order to rule out milk supply I had to make Alana wait two hours before feeding her.  She had NEVER been off the breast for such a long period before but we waited the agonizing two hours and then I fed her for as long as she would nurse on both sides and then she was weighed.  She took in a whopping 20 millilitres (just over one tablespoon) of breast milk.  Total.

From here, it did not take me long to put two and two together.  My other two babies had the same difficulty with breastfeeding.  No matter that I had done everything right, beginning right from the moment of her birth, my body was not able to make her enough milk.

I immediately reached out to friends that I knew.....not for breastfeeding support or advice, but for their milk.  I asked everyone I knew if they had a freezer stash they would be able to donate to us. I posted on my Facebook page that "It would take a village to feed my child."

Thankfully, I am a part of an incredible community of mothers and I got a wonderful immediate response to my request for milk.  After only one night in the hospital on formula I was able to take Alana home and feed her donated milk. For one whole week I fed her on the generosity of my friends and their friends.

I was at a La Leche League meeting near the end of that first week talking to the leaders and other mothers there about how I felt so blessed that so many mom's were willing to donate their milk, but that it was soon going to run out.  What would I do then?

It was suggested that I post a need for donated milk on the Human Milk 4 Human Babies - Alberta Facebook page. And as soon as I got home from that meeting I did just that.

Again, I was extremely blessed. I made a connection with a mom not too far away from me who had a premature baby whose due date was exactly Alana's birth date. She also happened to have a huge oversupply issue.  Ever since then I have been working with this one mom who donates the bulk of Alana's perfectly age appropriate breast milk.  Every week we meet up and I bring home several grocery bags full of frozen milk.

Still, sometimes this just isn't enough.  So in order to keep the frozen milk lasting as long as possible, I have asked any nursing mother who is comfortable with the idea to wet-nurse my baby.  I am always amazed at the generosity and so very grateful when yet another mother offers to nurse my baby.  I can't help but think of all the wonderful antibodies she is being exposed to and that so many moms have enough love in them to share this very special gift with my sweet baby girl.

I love that some moms in my immediate group of friends have started affectionately referring to Alana as "the community baby". I wish that every mother who truly wanted to breastfeed her baby but could not for whatever reason, could find the same support and sense of community that I have found.

Sometimes, I still feel sadness when I see posts on Facebook from breastfeeding advocates that insinuate that my baby is not getting the absolute very best because I can't breastfeed her.  Then I think about watching her drift off to sleep comfy and satisfied at another mother's breast and I smile.  My baby is getting the best.  She is getting more love than I can give her alone.

By seeking out donated breastmilk, both frozen and fresh, I am taking the road less travelled as far as breastmilk feeding goes but I know that I am giving my baby the very best that I can give her.

It is my hope that by sharing Alana's story I can get more people thinking about and talking about milk sharing. Direct, mom to mom sharing.  Every baby deserves breastmilk, even if its own mother can't provide it.

I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I, I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference. 

~Robert Frost

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