skinny mirrors, curves and entitlement.

I am washing my hands in the washroom of a greasy spoon diner.

I look up and see myself in the mirror.

I back up a few steps to get a better look at all of me and the outfit of the day.

Hmm... not bad.

And then I decide that this must be one of those 'skinny mirrors'.

..............

This is what it has come to. I am a 41 year old woman, pretty secure in who and what I am and I still have a hard time looking at myself in a mirror without sucking in my cheeks, holding by breath as I suck in my  belly and standing up on my tippy toes to create something that I have been taught to believe everyone else thinks is beautiful.

If I do happen to think that I look nice on any particular day, my automatic assumption isn't "Natasha- YOU are beautiful!" it is "what's wrong with this mirror?".

How's that for some messed up thinking?

And I am not sure how, but this insidious thinking is seeping into my little girl's brain too. Yesterday we were getting ready to go outside to do some yard work and she wanted to wear one of her skirts. I said no, that she needed to change into pants. She proceeded to dramatically crumple to the ground in tears claiming that if she was to wear pants that "no one will think I am beautiful!" My BRILLIANT response? "Don't worry honey, Mommy is wearing sweats, so I am not beautiful today either." Thank goodness parenting is a two-person job in our house, as my husband quickly came to the rescue before I inadvertently killed all her self-esteem and said "EVERYONE here is beautiful, we need to wear pants to stay warm. End of story."  Logic, that's what my husband brings to the party.

It is no secret that we have a messed up vision of what beauty is in our society. Fashion magazines, TV commercials, giant billboards, all of these things are bombarding us on a daily basis and no matter how hard we try to block it out, this kind of marketing, this perpetual visual reminder of all the "beautiful people" gets into our brains. And into the brains of our little ones too.

Last week the talented, hilarious and beautiful actress Melissa McCarthy was featured on the cover of ELLE magazine in their 'Women in Hollywood' issue. She was photographed in one of fall's hot trends, the oversized jacket and the internet went bonkers! Why? Because she was TOO covered up! Because the photographer did not highlight her curves. Because it can't be a cover shot if there is no skin showing DAMNIT!!

I get it. I get that this is not what we are accustomed to seeing on the cover of magazines. We're used to seeing the thin women in barely there outfits with every supposed 'flaw', every extra pound, every wrinkle, zit, or oversized pore airbrushed to oblivion, (mis)representing the "beautiful people". We all then compare ourselves to this flawless (and photoshopped) ideal that we inevitably are never able to measure up to, you know, because we are not all made from the same human perfection mold.

I looked at that shot of Melissa and thought, 'DAMN girl, you look amazing!' I felt more of a kinship to someone on the cover of a fashion mag than I have in a long time. And then I read a bunch of articles shaming ELLE for covering her up, and tweets from people wanting to see more skin, more of her body and all I could think was how seriously EFF'ed up a society we are that we feel somehow ENTITLED to a woman's body and cheated when we don't get to see as much of it as we want!

I know that the point of all the internet hullabaloo is the double standard. That the thinner women get the skimpy outfits and the full-figured women get covered up. That seems to be the message and the point that everyone from xoJane to HuffPo to Slate and beyond are making in their critique of the cover, but I think this issue goes deeper than that. How is it that somehow if a full-figured woman is in a magazine that she automatically becomes the poster child for curvy ladies everywhere? You don't think that these same media outlets and all the folks demanding to see more of her curves wouldn't be as critical (in a totally different way of course) if she was photographed in a swimsuit?

And do I have to point out as well, that not two weeks before everyone was all, "OMG, don't cover up Melissa, we should see more of her", EVERYONE was telling Miley to "PUT SOME DAMN CLOTHES ON GIRL!!" It seems that we just can't win, so matter what size we are or how much or little we are wearing.

I am a curvy girl, I've got the proverbial junk in my trunk, a 32F bra size and somewhat of a leftover belly from having my babies.  And I can tell you that I feel ten times sexier rocking an oversized sweater, jeans and a gorgeous pair of boots, or a maxi dress with some awesome earrings than I ever do in a bathing suit or a skin tight dress that is supposed to "celebrate" all those luscious curves of mine. I know that I would much rather define my beauty according to my standards and comfort in my own skin, than one dictated by a messed up society looking for some skin and a bit more cleavage!

I also have a daughter who, although she shares my husbands and my DNA equally, is my physical mini-clone. And she is the most beautiful creature I have ever set my eyes on. There is no way I am going to let her believe that there is only one way to be beautiful and I am going to make damn sure she knows that no one, and I mean absolutely NO ONE is entitled to seeing, touching or being privy to any part of her body at any time in her life. I don't care what magazine she may or may not eventually be gracing the cover of (crosses all the things and hopes it is Forbes).

Love yourselves my fellow beautiful women, and know that NO, that is not a "skinny mirror", that is all you baby, no airbrushing required!

natasha~

making a house a home for those who truly need it

A few weeks ago I got a tweet from a wonderful lady asking for 15 minutes of my time. Little did I know what those 15 minutes were about to turn into!!

I called her back and we chatted and she told me about her project, her vision, what she was trying to do and that of all people, I was one of the first ones she thought about for this project (I was very honored!)

I am of course talking about the wonderful Kristi Hammond and the amazing new project she has founded called Local4Local4Local in support of The Ronald McDonald House of Northern Alberta.

So what exactly IS this Local4Local4Local project all about?

From the website:

The Local4Local4Local concept was born very organically. The Ronald McDonald House ™ tweeted out in May that they hadn't anybody signed up for their 'Home for Dinner' Program for the month of June. Founder of Local4Local4Local, Kristi Hammond, received the tweet, researched the program, and saw a valid way to get involved.

The idea grew out of a desire to be involved more than just once or twice per year, while still being able to afford the costs of purchasing food in quantities to feed 50 people for dinner. She thought that if a group of businesses banded together to provide more frequent meals, the share of cost and time would be manageable.

From there, the concept grew to supporting local businesses by purchasing all food for the dinners (as much as possible from local vendors) in order to provide stability to our local economy.

The 'Home for Dinner' program is a wonderful program that the house offers its families. Many of whom spend more hours than most of us work per day at the hospital, in appointments and watching their children getting various treatments and procedures done. And often the last thing on their minds when they finally make it back to the house is cooking a meal. This is where the volunteers come in. Different groups come in throughout the month and will supply all the food and make a fabulous homecooked meal for the WHOLE HOUSE! And for some of the families the impact that this has is immense.

Last week our Local4Local4Local team of over 20 different Edmonton and area businesses got our first look at The Ronald McDonald House and all that it does for the families that stay there!  Trust me, this is no ordinary house by any means, and I highly recommend that you take some time out of your schedule to go for a tour and check it out.

The house itself is HUGE! It has 30 full suites that operate at about a 99% capacity all year round! So far this year they have had to turn away at least 50 families and set them up in hotels because there is just not enough room. And as the Edmonton hospitals continue to expand, becoming leading centres of excellence and attracting more amazing pediatric specialists, the needs for the house and it's services will too.

There are families that stay at the house for a few days, some a few weeks and some that are there for months at a time. It truly is a home for these families and one that tries very hard to maintain that sense of connection and homey-ness for everyone.

I was moved to tears that night on more than one occasion and for good reason.

There are two incredible rooms at the house that every kid gets to visit. The first is The Quilt Room. This room is wall to wall shelves of handmade and donated blankets and quilts that every child gets to visit when they first arrive at the house. They can choose any one they want, and it is theirs to keep, for comfort, for warmth, to remember or to forget and mainly just to cuddle up in. Every single one of these blankets is donated by local volunteers and quilting/sewing/knitting groups and it is amazing to see!

The other very special room is aptly named "The Magic Room"! And any room that looks like this when you first walk into it, just has to be magical....

Inside the Magic Room, through a special doorway is a room FULL of every kind of toy or game that a kid would want. 100% donated and 100% awesome! And every kid that has a successful surgery or course of treatment or is ending their stay at the house gets to go into the room and choose their very own special toy or game or trinket or whatever they want to celebrate this milestone! There are some pretty special stories that go along with this room, just ask any of the highly dedicated and amazing staff at the house and they will gladly share!

After our tour of the house we all had a chance to hang out and have a little mixer in the HUMOUNGOUS kitchen and dining area. Kristi asked us each to introduce ourselves, our businesses and why we decided to be a part of the Local4Local4Local project. We all come from diverse backgrounds and all had different reasons for being involved and it was so great to hear about who they all are and what being involved with this project means to them.

When it came to me, well, I could barely get 5 words out of my mouth before I started crying (this should not surprise some of you who know me). You see, I kind of know what it is like having a child in hospital. My oldest was a 3.5 pound preemie and spent just over 2 weeks in the Royal Alexandra Hospital NICU when he was born, and as his mommy, I spent just about the same amount of time there as well. I had family and friends nearby who fed us, who brought dinners to the hospital, who made sure that my husband and I had what we needed to keep ourselves going during this time. It was good to know that we had that support and that help was never far away. So for me, thinking of these families, and quite a few of them happen to be ones with NICU babies, and of them being far away from their circles of support and extended families for far more than a few weeks....well, it was just too much for my brain and my tear ducts to handle.

And THIS is also the very reason that I am involved with the Local4Local4Local project! No mother and no family should ever feel alone when their child is sick and if a home-cooked meal can help that feeling of helplessness even a little bit, then here I come, apron and oven mitts donned!

So hold on to your taste buds Ronald McDonald House families! I make a mean turkey meatball!! I am so looking forward to my Home for Dinner night with two of the other Local4Local4Local team members and then sitting down and enjoying dinner with the families and truly making this an experience that we will all remember and cherish!

Thank you once again to our fearless leader, the wonderful Kristi Hammond (@memoryandstory), and all the local Edmonton businesses, big and small, who are volunteering their time and efforts for this great project!

To find out more about Local4Local4Local please visit the new website, like the Facebook page and follow the twitter account. And to find out how you can get involved with the Ronald McDonald House here in Edmonton, please visit their website and follow them on Twitter too!

Natasha~

This post is part of the Summer Blog Challenge.

31 posts in 31 days.

Please take a moment and peruse the other participants entries as well!  Thank you!

Zita of Ignite Strategic Solutions Cliff of Peer Pressure Works Tammy of Tam I Am Peter of Crazy Wookie Cookies Shaun of Expedition of Truths Chad of The Daily Grind Vlad of Analog Coast Kim of Nature Baby Bloggings Liam of ln The Now Earl of My Name is Earl (J. Woods) Brad of Kick Me Out Soon

Super Heroes

Sunday night as I was just randomly checking my twitter stream this was happening. [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s5m6OErRXpA]

A town was burning to the ground. One that I have visited many times in my life time. A beautiful place full of incredible northern Alberta scenery and history and one of the most beautiful lakes in all of Alberta (it has actual gorgeous white sandy beaches).

Wildfires are always a problem in our province during the spring and summer, and this year is no exception. It is very dry here and add to that the high winds that we have been experiencing across our province this past week and it did not take much for a forest fire to jump across a highway and forge a huge path of destruction straight through the town of Slave Lake.

A full evacuation of the more than 7000 people who live in and around the town was put in effect on Sunday night and with only one road in or out they headed south to evacuation centres set up in Athabasca, Westlock and Edmonton. Most had to leave their houses with only a few minutes notice and with the clothes on their backs and a hastily packed bag.

Can you imagine for a minute what that would be like? Grabbing yourself, your children, your pets (and some could not do even this), taking one last look at your home and not knowing if it would be there when you came back?

Well, that was too much for a group of us on twitter to imagine and then not DO something about it. And so into the late hours of Sunday night and wee hours of Monday morning we set up an event page on Facebook to collect donations of material items that these people were going to need right away and in the very near future.

When I finally went to bed Sunday night, we were six Twitter moms just trying to do something to help our community and between all of our personal and business networks we had about 100 people already rallied on our event page.

When we woke up the next morning we had 500 people on the event page and by days end on Monday it was up to 1000. The donations were coming in en masse, the emails flooding our inboxes, and we were overwhelmed! Our front porches and small business locations could not handle the sheer amount of donations being brought in and we needed a bigger space to spread out and sort and get the evacuees and fire victims the supplies they needed!

And just like that, with the incredible power that is Social Media and one by one, Super Heroes came crawling out of the woodwork! A local community league donated their hall to us for the week. Multiple trucking companies have donated their trucks, time and drivers to us to haul huge loads of supplies to the areas that need them the most. Ford Canada stepped up and donated an F-150 pick-up for us to use for whatever we need! Some pretty incredible individuals have donated hours upon hours of their time to come and help sort through the mountains of bags that we have received.  A lot of them have babies strapped to their backs in baby carriers while they are doing this!

You hear about the strength of mothers in times of stress and the ones who lift cars off of toddlers. Well, there have been no cars on toddlers this week, but the strength and determination and sheer MOM-entum that is keeping us all running this week is nothing short of a miracle! I am both humbled and honored to call a lot of these women my dear, dear friends!

We still have A LOT of work to do. We need more volunteers over the next two days to help with sorting and organizing our donations. We will be packing up one of the semi-trucks tomorrow with immediate essentials and sending it off to the evacuation centre in High Prairie, where about 1400 people have been displaced from their homes and land.

If you can spare an hour or two of your time, or if you can gather together donations for our efforts, please join us at the Beacon Heights Community Hall in Old Towne Beverly at 4418-118 Avenue from 9:30-7 PM Thursday and Friday.

Here is the list of items that are most needed at this time:

Toilet paper, diapers, towels, formula, bedding, all toiletries, Non-perishable food items, bottled water, Depends - mens and ladies, bug spray, paper towels, bleach, rags, pails, cleaning supplies, Alberta Health Services grade disinfectant, dry dog food, NEW socks and underwear.

**Please have items sorted beforehand to make everyone's jobs a little easier**

Thank you everyone (these words just don't seem like enough right now!),

Natasha~

"There is a wonderful mythical law of nature that the three thing we crave most in live

- happiness, freedom and peace of mind -

are always attained by giving them to someone else."

Peyton Conway March