What the tides keep at bay

 

There is a sacredness to the tides, stepping your feet in the waters of the ocean and having it wash away the sand on your feet, only for more sand to be washed back upon them as the waves keep coming back towards you. The ocean's edge has always been a blissful place for me and it hurts my soul to leave it every time. I am a Capricorn, I am drawn towards bodies of water and to the heights of mountains and I wonder sometimes at the seemingly opposite pull of these two places. It is as if my body craves the solitude that exists in both, that my mind needs it and that I am most at peace when I am either dipping my feet in the waters that connect us all or breathing in the pure air of a mountain top.

Every time we go away to either the ocean or the mountains, I can't help but start planning for our next vacation.The next time I will get to dip my feet in the waters that wash everything away and make things new again, whether those waters come from the top of a mountain or the depths of the earth.

Maybe I am just feeling the effects of the full moon, the tides of our lives that pull us in certain directions, that help us to see things that we haven't seen before. The tides clean off the old dust and wash away what we no longer need, tumble us around to smooth out the rough edges and make us new again.

Maybe it is because I just finished reading The Alchemist and it too pulled at my soul. It made me think of the omens in my life and whether or not I always listen to them or am even aware of them. What would happen to this world we live in if we all did that? If we all listened the the Soul of the World and followed the signs it leaves for us. What if we trusted in love and followed our instincts, instead of constantly getting fooled by our fears?

I know this is all a bit trippy, but the last few days and weeks have made me really look at my life, my fears, the things I say to my kids over and over and the messages and fears that I am passing down to them. My daughter wants to be a ballet dancer and I am stressing over this because of my own fears and insecurities and issues about having a "perfect" dancer's body. The stress I am feeling is not about finding the best dance school for her, it is all about me, projecting my own fears of rejection and ridicule onto her. I am killing her dream before it even begins and I know this and I can't stop the panic I feel about it.

Panic and fear.

I have had enough of both in my life as of late and I so want out of this cycle. Being on the island for our holidays gave me that feeling of peace and a quiet in my soul that has not been there for a long time. I laid in the waters of the Pacific Ocean and the panic and fear was washed away. My family was whole and happy and together and I stepped into those waters every day and felt my connection to the earth and both the smallness and infiniteness of my being and my place in this world.

Now to figure out how to replicate that feeling here, at home, in my every day life, before the panic and fear start creeping in again.

n~

Getting my groove back...

After almost two weeks of being blacklisted by the Googles, and not being able to post anything, I made a decision to switch hosting companies. Good-bye old host, hello BlueHost! Everything seems to be running smoothly and again I have to give props and a big THANK YOU to the awesome Karen Parker, @jkparker for those of you on the TweetyBox, for helping me get everything moved over smoothly and without any major blips throughout the process. Now, I have to regain the love and confidence of the Google gods and of you my dear readers!

So this is a short post to let you know that I just got back yesterday from my first time ever on Vancouver Island. I have downloaded the almost 700 pictures from our trip and will write my "what I did on my summer vacation" post very, very soon! Seriously, I am pretty sure Travel BC is gonna love me for this one!

And along with that post will be at least 30 more...

Yes, you heard me.

I am doing it again.

A Thirty {One} Day Summer Blog Challenge.

I am going to start on August 1st and post once a day until the end of the month (yes, I know that part should be pretty self-explanatory).

Now... if any of my blogging buddies want in on the action, we can make this an official challenge and link up all our posts. You just let me know if you are in and we'll figure out the rest from there.

(And PS everyone, let's not tell Natural Urban Dad about this just yet OK? For some reason he gets all antsy when I do these challenges.)

I leave you tonight with a little teaser from our holidays...

...while I go off to catch up on some So You Think You Can Dance and True Blood.

And make a list of blog post topics. OY!

{Suggestions will be accepted and are MUCH appreciated!}

Ciao bellas and bambinos,

Natasha~