breastfeeding Natasha Chiam breastfeeding Natasha Chiam

Repeat after me... Breastfeeding is not OBSCENE!!

...and yet, the breastfeeding witch hunt rages on... And very strongly on Facebook again!

More breastfeeding pictures have been removed, people's accounts have been blocked or suspended and there is much confusion about what Facebook's actual policy on breastfeeding photos is or if they even have one.

You would think that they do have one based on this response from Facebook's own Help Centre.

But in an article published in the Vancouver Sun yesterday, Facebook's Canadian publicist said that,

"...although Facebook does not have a specific policy regarding breastfeeding images but given that Facebook’s policy is no nudity it would be best not to post (breastfeeding images),.."

The mixed messages from Facebook are enough to make my head spin!

For the whole back story and media updates I will direct you to my friend Jodine Chase's blog. She has been chronicling this most recent battle daily since it all started on Sunday when Emma Kwasnica, founder of the Human Milk 4 Human Babies milk-sharing network (which ironically started on Facebook), had her breastfeeding pictures flagged, removed and her Facebook account suspended for 24 hours and then another 72 hours after that.

In a show of solidarity with Emma and ALL breastfeeding mamas and their rights to post these photos on Facebook and as a kind of virtual nurse-in (and yes, I will re-address my stance on nurse-ins in general in another post), I asked my fellow mamas and followers on the Natural Urban Mamas Facebook page to post their breastfeeding photos.

And the response was amazing...

All night long and well into Monday mamas posted amazing, beautiful, funny, newborn, toddler and everything in between BREASTFEEDING photos all over the Natural Urban Mamas wall!

But I wanted to do more.

And so I made this.

I hope you like it.

I hope you will share it.

And I hope that not one of you backs down or ever feels like you need to cover up or "do that somewhere else" while breastfeeding, whether in real life or virtually by not posting or removing your nursing photos from social media sites like Facebook.

This is for you Emma and for all of the breastfeeding mamas out there fighting this battle and working tirelessly every day  to make the sight of a breastfeeding mother the normal, commonplace, not-really-a-big-deal, just-a-baby-eating, thing that it really is!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LdvVVAtTo4Y[/youtube]

Give those babies some Booby Snacks Mamas!

Natasha~

Video music credit goes to:
The Star Wars Theme by John Williams
Booby Snacks by Moorea Mallat, www.songsforbreastfeeding.com
Dog Days are Over by Florence and the Machine, www.florenceandthemachine.net

 

 

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This is so NOT about your boobs!!

Never in the history of the world has the simple act of how we feed our babies caused so much strife and controversy!

If you have been anywhere on Facebook or Twitter in the past 72 hours you will have a good idea of what I am talking about.

If not, well here is the scoop.

Babble is running a contest right now for the Top 100 Moms who are Changing the World. Moms from all walks of life are being 'Mominated' for the top 10 prizes of $5000.00 for the charity of their choice. Voting is by public ballot. You can get all the details of the contest by clicking on the link above.

Emma Kwasnica, known breastfeeding activist and the founder of Human Milk 4 Human Babies, the global milk-sharing network created on Facebook was nominated by fellow mom and activist Jodine Chase to be one of these amazing Moms. Right away Emma started raking in some pretty sweet votes and was in the Top Ten list within days of her nomination! This is really not surprising, because she IS a mom changing the world, one breastmilk-fed baby at a time. I have seen the results of milk-sharing through her network right here in my own proverbial backyard and very much up close and personal.

Next, Emma and Jodine realized that one of the major advertisers on the Babble.com site is Similac, a formula manufacturer that has its ads (side banners and top banners) posted all over the newborn and pregnancy pages on the Babble site. (Apparently, these ads were removed from the breastfeeding support pages on Babble a year ago after many a blogger called them out for it then!). After much deliberation, Emma asked Babble to remove her from the list of nominees and has said that the only way she would again participate is if Babble where to remove ALL formula marketing from its site and comply with the International Code of Marketing of Breastmilk Substitutes.

Annie from PhD in Parenting wrote this very excellent post, explaining what happened and applauding the stance that Emma and Jodine took in not accepting what Emma considers "blood money" from Babble.

Catherine Connor of Her Bad Mother, and also a Babble Voices writer, responded with this post. In it she is quite upset and insulted by the use of the term "blood money" and that no one is willing to sit down and be on a board of breastfeeding advocate advisors for Babble to discuss what the best options are for everyone involved. She also feels that they whole argument against formula marketing and advertising, shames mothers who can not for whatever reason breastfeed their babies.

And then Jodine wrote this post  discussing this new tactic of "shaming mothers" when we start discussing formula marketing and the very subtle, yet, oh so underhanded tactics that are employed by these billion dollar companies to undermine breastfeeding moms every step of the way.

So.

Now that you are up to speed, I have a few things to add.

First of all, let me make myself very clear. I have breastfeed both my kids for three years each. I believe it is the biologically normal thing to do. My boobs make milk, my babies need that milk, and the closeness and all the other great things that go along with our nursing relationship. I am a breastfeeder. It was not always easy, I needed help, but I was determined that this was the way I wanted to feed my babies. Breastfeeding was and is my choice.

Some women choose not to breastfeed,  some women truly can not breastfeed, some women have serious medical conditions that prevent them from breastfeeding. Whatever the case may be, if the choice for these women is to feed their babies formula or  feed them nothing, then you have to know that NO ONE IS TRYING TO MAKE YOU FEEL GUILTY OR SHAMEFUL ABOUT FEEDING YOUR CHILD.

Here is why I have a problem with Ms. Connor's arguments about this issue. She writes in her post that,

The push for a complete ban on formula advertising rests upon the assumption that mothers are not capable of understanding formula advertising as advertising – it assumes that they will be confused by it, those poor, silly mothers, and mistake it for unbiased, non-commercial speech – and that they are therefore vulnerable to being ‘duped’ by formula advertisers in a way that they are not from, say, Budweiser or McDonalds or General Electric. I’m a grown-up, you guys. I know what commercial speech is. I am capable of parsing information from advertisers. I am not stupid. I can make up my own mind.

No one is saying that mothers are silly or stupid or can't figure out when they are being duped. What is being said is that formula company advertising is subtle. It feeds on our weaknesses and insecurities as a new parent, and I am sorry, but as new moms dealing with all the demands that this new little life has on us and usually working on very little sleep, we ARE vulnerable to these ads and their ubiquitous "we are here to help you" messages.

Really. Now how exactly is a formula company supposed to help a breastfeeding mom? Guess who is formula's main competition? That's right. It's breastmilk. So if we take a look at this from a different angle, it is kind of like saying Ford is going to help me choose what kind of GM vehicle to buy. Not likely...

Are you getting this so far?

Fleur Bickford, of Nurtured Child, wrote this post earlier this year discussing why formula companies like the phrase "breast is best". In it she breaks down one of the online ads for Nestle's new Baby Nes instant formula machines  (think Tassimo for babies). At first glance the ad itself seems pretty benign. But Fleur notes that,

 

Great that they’re showing breastfeeding right? Well, if we look closer at it, the breastfeeding mom is sitting on the floor, is barefoot, is half undressed and her dark roots are showing through her blond hair colouring (compare that to the beautifully highlighted hair of the formula feeding mom).  All of this is subtle, but it creates an emotional reaction (which is exactly what it was designed to do). The reaction may not even be a conscious one for many people, but it plays on the stereotype of women who breastfeed being barefoot “hippies” who just “whip it out”. It also plays into the fear of having a baby who ties you down and nurses so often that you can’t even get your hair coloured. Even the graph behind the mom with the downward slope to it produces a negative feeling about breastfeeding.

Subtle right? I think down right sneaky, and probably from an ad campaign perspective rather brilliant. And this is only one example.

Here is one right off of the Babble.com (I found it on the Pregnancy page on their site).

I am assuming that by fed, they mean nursed and the implication is that, she is still crying because she is still hungry....so go ahead, give her some formula to "top her up".

THIS is where and when the formula companies GET you! And they know it and count on it. They know that a mom starting to supplement just a little bit is a damn slippery slope and that is the way they like it, and most likely they count on it!

Here is the scenario: new mama starts supplementing with a little bit of formula and it seems to work. Baby is now 'full' and not crying anymore, so all is good. And mama's thoughts process becomes, "SEE, obviously I am not making enough milk for him." But what is really happening is that rather than getting the help needed to correct a nursing issue (and the lack of proper breastfeeding support for a lot of mothers is a LONG topic for another post), the simplest thing seems to be to supplement with the 'just as good as breastmilk' formula. Mom is happy, baby is happy, or at least they sure do seem to be in this Nestle Good Start commercial and she can just go back to breastfeeding again once they get over this bump in the road/phase/growth spurt/etc....

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Jo1hQN9X7c[/youtube]

(Did you catch the teeny tiny print and  2 seconds of 'Breastfeeding is best for your baby." in that one?)

Or can they....

Unfortunately for a lot of mothers, no, they can not.

And therein lies the bigger issue with this kind of marketing. Formula marketing and advertisements don't target already happily, by choice or by circumstance, formula-feeding moms. They don't have to. There is no need to preach to the choir. They target NEW moms, moms who have every intention of breastfeeding (our provincial breastfeeding rates in Alberta, Canada upon discharge from hospital are 92.4%, 2009 statistics), but who run into issues at home and decide to call the 1-800 number that they find attached to the can of formula that they were sent home with in hopes of getting support, encouragement and advice on how to continue to breastfeed. Do they get decent advice from these "feeding experts"? Perhaps, I have not called them myself. But to honestly say that these formula-company-sponsored or funded call centres have the best interests of your successful breastfeeding relationship at heart is rather ludicrous.

So what do we do now?

Well for one thing, we need to stop using words like 'guilt' and 'shame' when discussing how we feed out babies. You make your choice and you deal with it. Do what is right for you, do what is right for your baby, and yes, do what is right for your mental and physical health. If that is breastfeeding, good for you. If that is formula-feeding, good for you. DONE, no more discussion.

The only people who need to feel ashamed right now are the formula companies. They are the ones who are shamelessly promoting and dare I say pushing their product (doctor's offices, hospital maternity wards, even family trade shows) on new and yes, vulnerable moms who are just trying to figure out how this whole 'feeding, nurturing and not completely wrecking the new baby' gig works!

In the end, I applaud all of the incredible bloggers and activists for all their work for breastfeeding moms and moms in general. Emma, Jodine, Annie and Catherine are all moms that I have the utmost respect for and they all make excellent points in their posts. I highly encourage you to read them all.

My final point {that does need to be said again} is that this issue is not a breastfed versus formula fed one. I DON'T CARE HOW YOU FEED YOUR BABY! It is a question of ethical marketing and advertising practices by formula companies and that is the point so many seem to keep missing. We all need to get over our own vulnerable feelings of guilt or shame, accept the choices that we made as the best ones that we could make given the information that we had or the situation we were in and see this for what it really is.

Formula companies have millions of dollars to spend on ad campaigns and government lobbyists and they make a lot of money selling their wares to families worldwide, with what seems little or no regard for whatever harm or disservice their practices do to moms and babies.

Breastfeeding? Well, that is just biology.

Natasha~

 

 

 

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The Chart Versus the Child

My son was 3 lbs, 13 oz at birth. He was born at 35 weeks gestation. He was the average size of a 30 week old pre-term baby because I had a lovely trifecta of pregnancy complications: a very poor functioning placenta, pre-eclampsia and subsequent intrauterine growth restriction (IUGR). In terms of Infant Growth Charts and Percentiles, our teeny little guy did not even register on a chart, let alone fall within anything resembling a "normal" growth percentile.

AND HE NEVER HAS!

To this day, at 4 years, 9 months old, and 33 pounds, he is still below the 5th percentile on any growth chart. He has always had his very own growth curve that hovers somewhere near the 3rd percentile.

In those early weeks and months of his life I stressed A LOT about his growth. I was at the public health unit weekly, having him weighed and measured and plotted on the very bottom of those very stress-inducing, mother- fuc...frightening charts.

He was an exclusively breastfed kid and for the most part, I lucked out with the nurses and doctors that I had contact with. Not once was I told that I should be supplementing him with formula, although I was told on more than one occasion to nurse him and then give him some pumped breastmilk to "top him up". Sometimes I did, most times I did not.

"Hey, who you calling teeny?"

And not only was he a teeny, tiny preemie, he is also the kid of an 5'9" Asian man and a 5' 3" Caucasian woman. His paternal grandmother is barely 5' tall and he has the metabolism of a Eurasion Pygmy Shrew. Genetically, he was never destined to be a really big guy or gain a huge amount of 'baby fat'!! And this is kind of my point here.

What all mamas (and daddies too) need to realize is that generally, your new baby check-ups at the Public Health Unit are done with a check list in hand.

Weigh baby -Check

Measure baby's length and head circumference - Check

Plot on Standard Infant Growth Charts - Check

Discuss baby's feeding/nutrition (whether breastfeeding or formula feeding) - Check

  • Offer up suggestions/advice if , according to above chart, baby is NOT gaining weight properly.

Get Mama to fill out or answer post-partum depression questionnaire - Check

Discuss vaccinations required and give said vaccines - Check

  • FYI - You have the right to ask for any kind of vaccine schedule you want for your child, whether that choice is none at all, or as we did, a delayed one (max 1-2 at a time).

Hand you pamphlet with age appropriate Baby Milestones - Check

Now, I am not knocking the public health nurses. They see A LOT of mamas and babies and have a lot to do in the short time they have with them. What I am saying is that these health care practitioners, and a lot of doctors too, need to look beyond the numbers on the charts and the checklists and really SEE their patients and the parents and babies before them.

Dr. Jay Gordon wrote an excellent post about this last year that sums up the issue of looking at the charts versus looking at the baby. You can read the full article here. In it he makes the point that,

"...if someone were to ask you what weight a 33-year-old man should be, you would laugh. The range of possibilities varies according to height, bone structure, ethnicity and many other factors. Yet babies are expected to fit onto charts distributed throughout the country with no regard to genetics, feeding choice or almost anything else."

I personally think that as new moms, the more charts and spreadsheets and schedules and logs that you have for your baby, the more exponentially you will drive yourself batty! While yes, it is important to track a few things in the beginning to ensure everything is trucking along nicely (I am mainly talking pees and poops here), for the most part, if we follow our instincts, listen to our babies and respond to their cues and needs (feed me, hold me, change me, love me), then they will be just fine. And if for some reason they are not, then trust me (and trust yourself), your Mama Bear instincts will kick in and you will seek and get the help that is needed.

People come in all different shapes and sizes and colors. And babies, well, they are people too (the best kind really)! Trying to fit them all onto a nice perfect curve is simply NOT going to work. And maybe, just maybe, this kind of 'chart versus child' outlook marks the beginning of our crazy North American obsession and misconception of what the ideal body should look like.

Like Dr. Gordon says, "Look at the Baby, not the scale."

Good advice for everyone really, baby or not!

Natasha~

(This post was inspired by a lovely mama that I met today at Cafe O'Play, who has the cutest and teeniest and completely healthy and beautiful 10 month old baby girl! Thank you.) 

 

 

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Our version of 'Milk Sharing'!

Welcome to The Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival! This post was written as part of The Breastfeeding Cafe's Carnival. For more info on the Breastfeeding Cafe, go to www.breastfeedingcafe.wordpress.com. For more info on the Carnival or if you want to participate, contact Claire at clindstrom2 {at} gmail {dot} com. Today's post is about breastfeeding when you have more than one child. Please read the other blogs in today's carnival listed below and check back for more posts July 18th through the 31st!

As soon as my son was 11 months old, we decided to start trying to get pregnant with baby number two. And just like the first time around it took us three months of 'trying' to do just that.

*Oh, and if you are wondering how I managed to do this without weaning my son first in order to get Dear Aunt Flo back, well, that lovely lady decided that 2 months without her was plenty for me and she came back when C was a mere 8 weeks old!! Seriously!! I has just stopped all the lochia from his birth and could not for the life of me figure out why I started bleeding again 2 weeks later. It was Natural Urban Dad who figured that one out for me!!*

.....and back to being pregnant with a 14 month old boob-aholic.

Well, the kid just did not stop.

At all.

For the whole pregancy.

All 41 weeks of it.

I am not sure what my milk supply was like during that time, but he never complained. Just kept at it and nursed when he wanted, and for as long as he wanted.

Did I want him to stop during the pregnancy?

I won't lie. Yes, there were days were the mere thought of him nursing was enough to make me want to scratch my eyes out and it really did physically make my skin crawl on a few occasions. Thankfully I was reading Adventures in Tandem Nursing by Hilary Flower at the time and knew that this kind of physical aversion is COMPLETELY normal and mostly due to all the pregnant hormonal changes going on. I basically had to suck it up during those times and keep going. We also started to do a lot of count downs around that time (I would give him a 10-20 count and then he had to come off) and we made it through those few rough patches, our breastfeeding relationship still intact!

I think continuing to breastfeed my son while I was pregnant made him very aware of the whole situation early on and also, in a weird and totally awesome sense, gave him and his sibling a connection of sorts way before they ever actually met. I remember at about 6 months he could actually start to feel her kicks and thought it was quite hilarious. He would talk to her, kiss my belly (the baby) and pat it and rub it while he was nursing.

C was still quite a little guy at the time, at 18 months he weighed a mere 20 pounds, and my thought had always been to tandem nurse them for a while to give him the benefits of some nice fatty newborn milk! My daughter was born at 9 PM on October 14th, 2008, we were home by 10 AM the next day and I had both of them latched on by about 10:30.

I do believe that being able to nurse both of them, either together or one at a time, made the transition from single child to big brother a whole lot easier for my first born. Yes, he did have to learn to share mommy, but he did not have to give up something that was a huge part of his life, his source of nutrition, his source of comfort and our happy place together!

We never went through a big jealousy phase with him when his sister was born and I attribute that in large part to the fact that I was tandem breastfeeding. And shortly after L was born, pointing to my breasts, my little man told me very clearly in his 2 year old voice that one side was for him and the other side was for Baby L. :)

Breastfeeding during pregnancy and then for a whole year of tandem nursing made the transition from one to two kids easier for me, and also for my son. Yes, it was hard at times, but I am glad that we did it this way. I was so happy to be able to provide the nourishment and nurturing that both my children needed during a time of big change for our little family and I firmly believe that it has made all the difference!

And it was an Adventure!

Natasha~

 

 

Here are more posts by the Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival participants! Check back because more will be added throughout the day.

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Mothering Through Breastfeeding-as Mother Nature intended.

Welcome to The Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival! This post was written as part of The Breastfeeding Cafe's Carnival. For more info on the Breastfeeding Cafe, go to www.breastfeedingcafe.wordpress.com. For more info on the Carnival or if you want to participate, contact Claire at clindstrom2 {at} gmail {dot} com. Today's post is about mothering through breastfeeding. Please read the other blogs in today's carnival listed below and check back for more posts July 18th through the 31st!

"I learned the joy of mothering through breastfeeding."
- Pamela Pilch, retired LLL leader, Virginia.

I found an article on breastfeeding written by Pamela on the web and when I read this sentence it was like she had summed up my mothering experience in eight words.  Not that all of mothering is about breastfeeding, trust me I know that, but the parts that make me really FEEL like a mother, like this is what I was made for and how Mother Nature intended it to be, that is what breastfeeding has done for me.

I did not have intervention free pregnancies and births. I had more ultrasounds and BPPs (biophysical profiles) of both of my kids in utero than probably 30 moms put together. My son's first few weeks of life involved so many beeping machines and tubes and wires that the quiet of being at home with him in those first few days seemed somehow foreign to us.  I was induced for both of my births (with the cervedil insert and no IV pitocin-thank God!!) and had my water broken with my daughter.  I dreamt about having an all natural, at-home birth with a midwife and a doula, but alas, that was just not going to happen. High risk pregnancies + physician husband = hospital birth.  I will say that I had an absolutely amazing obstetrician, although she did miss both my births by about 6 minutes, because she was finishing up a c-section (seriously-exact same thing, both times!)  My point is that I did not necessarily birth my babies as Mother Nature intended.

Breastfeeding is and was my way to do what I was made to do as a mother.  Feed my babies.  Keep them alive and safe and well.  I had an incredible life moment last year that I really don't talk about that much, I have kept it for me, but I will share it with you now.

My family and I were vacationing in Maui in February of 2009.  My husband was at a medical conference and so my parents and I took the kids (2 years old and 4 months old) on a whale watching tour.  It was awesome!  We saw so many whales, full breeches, two males fighting over a female and I think my son had the most fun of anyone on the boat trying to spot the tell-tale spout of a nearby whale.  And then it happened.  I had to nurse my daughter about half way through the tour and at that very same moment we came upon a mama humpback whale and her month old calf kind of just floating close to the surface of the ocean.  Our guide told us that they do this when the mama whale is NURSING her baby.  I know it sounds silly, but I started to cry, there I was nursing my baby and not 50 feet away in the ocean was one of the biggest mammals on earth doing the exact same thing!

Motherhood is a powerful thing, it connects us to each other, to our world, to nature and most importantly to our children.  What I have learned through breasfeeding is that mothering is much easier when we work with nature rather than against her.

Here are more posts by the Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival participants! Check back because more will be added throughout the day.

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